THE END TIMES

VOLUME III || ISSUE 3 || FEBRUARY 8, 2006

Masonic Lodge Controls Tunnels Under School!

Steroid Scandal Rocks JBU!

New Major to Be Offered

Talent Show Set to Amaze

Folf Named Official Sport

JBU to Host Reality Show

Board Approves New Mascot!

SOAPBOX:
JBU Outsourcing

Dear Phrank

Graduation Cancelled

To The Little Man

Other Little Things...

END TIMES HOME

JBU to Host Reality Show

As a way of reaching out to the millions of Americans that currently watch reality shows, JBU will produce a reality show of its own for the coming fall television season. It will be based on the life of the Pollard's!

"Yeah, I was a little apprehensive at first," replied President Pollard when questioned about the decision, "but maybe it will help the school in the long run. We'll get recognition, maybe even some funding out it."

The president admits to watching basically no television. When questioned about current hit reality shows, he shook his head and cited complete ignorance. "Unless Fear Factor (was that it?) makes it to paperback form, I probably will remain clueless."

The show will feature scenes of the family's everyday lives, including the children at school and both parents at work. Filming has already begun including such activities as board meetings, lunch, and the president walking the dog. Pollard was even able to view some of the final cuts. His response?

"Dull."

The producers are not intimidated. If ratings are good, the Pollards may just become America's next superstars. Rumor has it that President Pollard has already been tapped for a small role in Mission: Impossible 3 and will definitely be appearing in a guest spot on the Gilmore Girls, strictly at the suggestion of his wife. Certainly such a fun-loving guy as our president is anticipating the fun that will be had guest-starring alongside current teen role models and heart-throbs?

"No."

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