• Part I: A Kiss Is But A Kiss
• Part II: I Do, I Think
• Part III: The Maltese Cricthon

Brief synopsis:
Stuck between a marriage and an abominable place, Crichton begins to lose hope, and realises he must take the throne and become a statue. Though he may have survived the first assassination attempt, it wasn't the only one, as several more soon follow. He takes refuge in space, but finds that even that is a trap. Eventually he makes his way to the wedding, but this isn't exactly what Aeryn hoped he would do. Meanwhile, Zhaan is told that Moya is to be decommisioned due to the fact that the Leviathan can produce more gunships like Talyn.

The Main Story:
On the brink of being executed by Prince Clavor's guards, Crichton is rescued by Jenavian, Clavor's fiance. Mystified by this, Crichton doesn't even need to ask who she is as Jenavian reveals herself to be a Peacekeeper operative sent here to assassinate Clavor should he make it as far as the throne. She assumes Crichton is another Peacekeeper, a reinforcement willing to go all the way, to sacrifice 80 cycles to put Katralla on the throne. John later makes the mistake of going to Clavor with threats of his own, but the lack of proof earns him much disapproval from Katralla.

However, as Katralla begins slapping Crichton, another assassination attempt is made, this time by some kind of gas attack. Fortunately, the Imperial servant, ro-NA arrives and brings both Crichton and Katralla to safety. Aeryn meanwhile finds herself holding the attention of a cousin to the throne, Dregon, but refuses to act on it. Zhaan on the other hand meets a ghostly being that arrives on Moya, revealing itself to be Moya's deity. The being, Kahaynu says he is responsible for giving Moya a soul, he is a builder, but tells Zhaan that he must decommision Moya as the Leviathan is capable of giving birth to gunships like Talyn.

Rygel, treating the Empress as almost an equal, suggests that Crichton hides away for a while, out of reach of outside attacks. The Empress and Rygel devise a plan to smuggle Crichton secretly aboard a ship containing gifts from ro-NA's relations, orbiting high out in space away from main traffic and pirates. They agree to tell nobody, preventing any information from leaking. However, this isn't enough as ro-NA herself, trusted servant of the Empress has developed a taste for personal wealth, unheard of in her species, and she sells them out, and makes a deal with Scorpius.

When the plan goes ahead, Tyno is the first to hear of the "accident" where the pod mysteriously disappears. Aeryn and D'Argo are understandably distraught, and Aeryn heads off to confront the Scarren, whilst D'Argo does the same to Scorpius. Unsuccessful, Aeryn goes to Katralla and Jenavian, threatening them, an unwise move given how high tensions are at the moment. Crichton meanwhile chats to ro-NA during his journey into space.

Nothing prepares him for what he sees upon arrival at ro-NA's ship though, he is confronted by Braca, Scorpius's lieutenant, who is determined to bring Crichton aboard. However, when they receive a message from Scorpius, Crichton realises how unique he is, and how much Scorpius wants him alive, so he uses this to trigger the weapons, bringing the planetary defence cannons into action against the ship, and this gives him a chance to overwhelm Braca, after which he accidentally disposes of ro-NA. Sadly Braca escapes with the last space helmet, forcing Crichton to make an uncovered jump from the ship into his pod.

He makes it, just, though his face is frozen and swollen, and he needs immediate treatment down on the planet. Zhaan meanwhile begs for Moya's life, even though the mighty Leviathan seems willing to obey Kahaynu and shut down the ship ready for decommissioning. On the planet though, D'Argo talks to a recovering Crichton, showing how wise he has become whilst he gives Crichton advice. Aeryn also comes to visit, saying how proud she is of Crichton that he has kept fighting. Only he would have managed that kind of escape under such conditions of inferiority.

Sadly it isn't enough to save Crichton and Aeryn's relationship for now as Crichton is still set to go ahead with the wedding, still unable to see another way out. Aeryn gives up on him, and heads for the barren lands with Dregon, hoping to find some kind of distraction elsewhere. This leaves Crichton to make wedding preparations, receiving encouragement from Jenavian, but a warning from Scorpius. On this planet, the Scarren sebacean cross breed is powerless to do anything about the wedding, and knows that his chances to get Crichton's wormhole knowledge are swiftly slipping away.

Sad that Aeryn doesn't attend, Crichton does however continue with the wedding, allowing the Empress to join him to Katralla, and he is then left to say final goodbyes to D'Argo and Chiana before he is turned into a statue. He leaves recorded messages for Zhaan, Pilot and Aeryn, and then enters the transformation platform. Enduring the pain as the machine isn't suited for humans, he is turned to a statue moments after Katralla.

Clapping begins, and Crichton is left to rule as a statue for 80 cycles. This story is continued in The Maltese Crichton.

Trivia Quiz:

References and continuity:

Crichton: "Obi-wan had one."

The remote bomb that comes after Crichton and Katralla is remarkably similar to the remote Obi-wan used to try and train Luke with a lightsaber.

• John complains about having no remote, or even a VCR in the uncharted territories, devices familiar to him from his days on Earth.
• Chiana and D'Argo are together? Yep, that's been progressing as the season has gone on, with things getting pretty physical in the first part of this trilogy.
• Why does Scorpius seem to have such a power over Crichton? We don't know it yet, but maybe Scorpius put a little something in Crichton's head, rather than just ripping things from it.

Clavor: "I'm sorry, if someone tried to kill you using my name, they will pay."

Oh dear, what a total idiot! If only the Empress had heard that!

Kahaynu: "Be calm Priest, I am the ship's Deity, not yours."

Kahaynu's arrival gets Zhaan in worship mode, but he points out he is for a different species, Leviathans.

Aeryn: "Now. Don't feel bad. Its not you, its me. I don't like you."

Brilliant! I wish I could go round using this line myself, but I know I'd get punched. Well done Aeryn!

Crichton: "You do *not* get the toaster." Finding out ro-NA is a traitor, Crichton withdrawls his offer of the toaster. Calm all the way! Braca: "You're insane." Crichton: "What? You only just figured that out. I thought that was common knowledge." Crichton's realisation that he is needed alive prompts some rather insane ranting, shocking Lieutenant Braca.

Writer:

The writer of this episode was David Kemper. Other Farscape episodes written by him are:

Director:

The directors of this episode were Tony Tilse and Andrew Prowse. Tony Tilse also directed:

Additionally, Andrew Prowse was also responsible for the following episodes:

New Aliens:

Kahaynu

A mystical creature claiming to be Moya's "builder", a religious figure to Leviathans. He is a pale being, surrounded by atmospheric smoke, wearing what looks like a Toga and a wreath. Strange.

Farewell to:

ro-NA

John causes the little traitor to have an electrifying end during their fight.

Guest Stars:

Matt Day as Counsellor Elka Tyno. Felicity Price as Princess Katralla. Felix Williamson as Prince Clavor. Thomas Holesgrove as Cargn. Bianca Chiminello as Jenavian Charto. Tina Bursill as Empress Novia. Aaron Cash as Dregon. Jonathan Hardy as Kahaynu. Francesca Buller as ro-NA.

Personal Opinion:

At two thirds of the way through, this story is really going places, though there are a fair few cliffhangers to plow through in only one episode in The Maltese Crichton. Moya getting decommissioned, John a statue, Aeryn leaving to explore the Barren wastelands, how is everything going to come back together with Scorpius, Cargn and the Empress all holding them in such a tricky position?

I have to say that the special effects sequence in space when Crichton flies from one ship to anther is the only reason this episode didn't get a 10. It wasn't that great, though it was pretty good for a tv series. Still, it had everything else, funny moments, a great Star Wars reference, some interesting character interactions, and Chiana naked again. What more is needed? It'd be nice for Scorpius to play a bigger part I guess, but he has plenty of chances later on to do so.

	Great cliffhangers, what's next?		9/10