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09.24.04 | Unusual Sight
It's really, really weird. About what happened last Saturday, August 18, 2004 when we arrive at 3:00 pm at the former Ultra Stadium.
Now, you ask me, what am I doing at that place? For those of you who know, it is in Pasig, and I am in Sta. Cruz, Manila. It's because Jenny (remember my classmate that I told you and the "depression" thing? Anyway, it's over already) asked me to accompany her to go to the concert there. The title's "Rockista" where different bands have a chance to show their unique talents and share their music to the audience.
But what I didn't expect was that when we arrive at the entrance of the building, there was a crowd of weird people dressed with black shirts everywhere. In anywhere you turn, you will see people with a "very" unusual hairstyle -- the ones that was put up using gel and hair sprays, long-haired men, bald on one side and with hair on the other, etc. -- and funny costumes. At that time, I felt as if they were celebrating Halloween early. What have
I gotten into?
To be continued...
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Updated: September 25, 2004 | 1:27 pm
I'm sorry, I was interrupted last update because I was updating this one in the library. Before everything, I would like to thank Chette and Euri for giving me these wonderful awards! Thank you very much! I really appreciate it!
Just this Thursday, September 23, 2004, we went to the Araneta Colliseum to watch the first game for the championship in UAAP: UST vs Ateneo. It was also the day when I was planning to tell Peter that I like him (it's also his birthday at that time), but I ask Father God first if I would really tell it to him for I wasn't sure about it. So I made a vow that if UST wins over Ateneo on the first game and if I saw him there watching, I would go and tell him the truth. Unfortunately, Ateneo won the first match, and I did not see him there because there were too many people watching. I went home though I'm not sad because maybe God wants it to happen instead. Besides, I thought it is not yet the right time for me to say it, isn't it? Or maybe he is not the one for me... I don't know.
09.19.04 | SURVEYS
Okay, I think I've updated very late. Anyway, here it is!
Before everything, I would like to thank Ate Chette for comforting me through my depression for the past few weeks. Also, for giving me a cute button and my request for the 'Eye of God'. But, most of all, to Father God for giving me great friends!
Okay, back to the topic. I found this surveys in the bulletin board in Friendster. I put them here so you will know more about me. :P
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If I were a month I would be: December
If I were a day of the week I would be: Saturday
If I were a time of day I would be: 6:00 pm
If I were a planet I would be: Earth
If I were a sea animal I would be: a coral
If I were a direction I would be: East
If I were a sin I would be: a white lie
If I were a liquid I would be: water
If I were a tree I would be: Sakura tree
If I were a bird I would be: an eagle
If I were a flower I would be: a white rose
If I were a kind of weather I would be: sunny
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a piano or violin
If I were an animal, I would be: a dog
If I were a color, I would be: white
If I were an emotion, I would be: happiness
If I were a vegetable, I would be: a chocolate!
If I were a song, I would be: "When You Believe"
If I were a movie, I would be: "A Walk to Remember"
If I were a book, I would be: "Tuesdays with Morrie"
If I were a place, I would be: heaven
If I were a thing, I would be: a book
If I were a taste, I would be: sweet
If I were a scent, I would be: fresh
If I were a word, I would be: wisdom
If I were a body part I would be: eyes
If I were a facial expression I would be: a cute smile
If I were a subject in school I would be: History
If I were a/an cartoon/anime character I would be: Akane Tendo
If I were a shape I would be: a square
If I were a number I would be: 307
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[1]If there was one person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with... who would it be?
Peter
[2] if the one you love loves someone else, what would you do?
I would cry at first, but then I'll say to myself that he is not the one that God gave for me.
[3] what was the biggest mistake you have done?
Regretting something that I should have done before
[4] if you could turn back time, what would you do?
To do my best in everything and to not waste time
[5] if you like sum1 ryt now.. what is it in him/her that made you fall?
His smile, then his character
[6] would you consider yourself lucky at this point bcoz of sum1?
Yes.
[7] what did he/she do?
She (it's a "she," okay?) always makes me feel wonderful and accepted.
[8] what is the greatest sacrifice you have done for love?
Giving up my time just to be with him/her.
[9] who is the person you would call 'my life' right now?
(persons) My parents
[10] do you believe in love at first sight?
No, it takes time to realize love.
[11] do you have a bestfriend of the opposite sex?
Yes.
[12] what if you fell inlove with your bestfriend?
To tell you the truth, I don't know what I would do.
[13] destiny or magic?
Destiny.
[14] how can you let go of sum1 that wasn't yours from the start?
I would just forget him even if it's hard, and focus myself more on Father God.
09.05.04 | Depression
I'm sorry I've only updated today for the past few days. I've been too depressed for all that happened to me. But with the help of Ate Chette (Jesus used her to cheer me up), I'm well and happy again.
Why was I depressed? Well, it's because I felt like I don't exist. I have a friend and classmate, Jenny, who is very smart and has a lot of suitors. Jenny and I are always together in our classroom, but whenever our classmates would swoon around her, they would not even notice me that I was with Jenny. Then, I would just walk away and let Jenny entertain them.
It was always like that, until I felt like I don't even exist, a nobody. I was so jealous to how my classmates treat Jenny well, while I, was treated like a... I can't even describe how low it is. I missed her, I missed my classmates, and I, somehow, missed myself.
Secondly, I got my card grades. I know that I didn't do my best so I only got an average grade (86). I know I was being too grade-conscious because others would say that 86 is in fact a high grade, yet for me, it's very low. It's because I'm supposed to do very well in Math (I'm in a track section in Math), yet it's actually my lowest grade.
Then comes August 30, 2004 -- my birthday. I've been dying to wait if anyone would greet me here in the net. But... nobody did. Though on Sept. 1, 2004, Ate Chette greeted me. In fact, she's the only one who greeted me here.
More depressing days came, and the most painful one was when my crush since 2nd year, Peter, finally have a girlfriend... okay, I hate him for that. But, I can't do that, because I don't own his life, right? Still, it struck on me.
Just yesterday, we went to my godchild's party. I'm his godmother, yet I was only forced to be his godmother. I honestly would like to say that I just don't care about him... well, a little maybe, but I sincerely don't want to be his godmother. So, I ended up being rude all afternoon in his birthday party (he was only turning 1!) without anything to say, not even a 'Hi' nor 'Happy Birthday'. Okay, I guess I was bad.
Last night, I talked to Ate Chette about it, and because of her, I feel so wonderful today. She told me that depression and jealousy are mere lies of Satan and that God is not testing me. She also told me that God would never use 'jealousy' to test us because 'Love is not jealous' (1 Corinthians 13:4-8), and God is Love.
Oh yeah, another thing to thank for is that my mom bought us a new pc camera. I'm so excited to use it, and here are the results (oh, and there's more of them in my gallery):
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