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07.28.04 | The Calming of the Storm
Quite free, at last. I want to share this article with you. The article was written by Father Nilo A. Lardizabal OP, and it is about testing our faith and trust in God. I hope you'll like it!
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THE CALMING OF THE STORM (Mark 4:35-41)
Nilo A. Lardizabal OP
Storms are not rare in the Philippines. It seems that we have actually adjusted to them so much so that we give beautiful and not so beautiful names to them: Huling, Metring, Wilming, Praning, etc. We practically prepare for them.
I grew up within the area of the University of Santo Tomas (A/N: We came from the same school, yippee!!). This was my parish and my school; a place always prone to floods. When it rains for two hours or more, be assured that new bodies of water will appear: the Espa�a Sea, the Dapitan River, the Lacson brook, and the P. Noval lake. The worst thing that could happen to a student in UST is to be stranded due to a flood. It can be a terrifying ordeal for some, especially for the ladies.
But imagine being stranded in the middle of the sea, under a thunderstorm, with squalls springing up from time to time, threatening the boat and its passengers... The disciples must have been scared to the bone! Here we see a group of men, trained fishermen; and yet they were terribly afraid! We can just imagine such turbulence! And here we see Jesus, sound asleep, as if nothing were happening.
The disciples, in panic, rebuked the Lord: "Do you not care?" The nerve of saying that to God!... Can you imagine yourself saying that?... And yet, we do often. How many times have we said those very words to the Lord?
A few summers ago my father had a terrible car accident. This is one event that I always share because it shows my faults and weakness, my inability to trust God in trying circumstances. When I heard the news, I reacted by putting forward my regular attendance at Church, as if telling God that I deserved to be compensated for it; that I wanted Him to make everything "fine" always. It was a human reaction, I guess, quite normal, but a shameful one for a Christian. Sometimes, it's very, very hard to trust.
In the end, by his grace, God made me realize that he never left me nor my father. The fact that my father survived must be considered a miracle worked out not in the mind, nor in science, but in the heart, in fath. That is why I am here. No one can take that religious experience away from me. However, the important point is to remember that if God did that for me and my family, there is no reason why he should not do it for you and your family. If God performed a miracle that day, there is no reason why he should not perform the same miracle on any other day.
Christianity is a religion of Hope. In Japan the suicide rate is high, because if you fail, you have nothing to hold on to. Christianity doesn't mean absence of trials. In fact, many will come our way. But rest assured that God will always be there for us. How? ...I don't know! But He who took care of his people in the Old Testament, He who took care of His apostles, He took care of early Christians, our ancestors in faith, when they were thrown to the lions, he will surely take care of us now!
What was Jesus's response to the apostles' complain? ... He said, "Why is it that you do not have faith?" A stern reebuke from the Lord!
In the face of life's thunderstorms and squalls, we often panic and try to "wake up" God. His word in the Scripture is not dead. It is alive, and we can live by it! There is a book called the Bible. It's all in there! We may be Christians, but we can also be faithless at times.
I do not know how God works, but I know that He "does" for me. More than enough!
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Well? How was it? About my reaction, yes, I also do that sometimes. But because of the experiences that happened to me, I began to trust God more than in the past. And he has been the reason why I'm still living in this world. :)
Thank you, Kelly! Don't worry, I'll add yours too, k? ^_^ Thank also to Blessed Chette and Sista for giving me these awards! God bless! ^_^
07.25.04 | Study
Waii, so busy today. I have to update this, then, upload something, then, study. Not just study, though, because I have a lot of things that must be accomplished before I can finally relax.
Before anything else, I want to thank those again who commented on my last update. Blessed Chette, Hazel, and Angela.
Haayy, studying is as complicated as usual. Though everytime I understand and finally get the answer, it always makes me awe. I like to study detective cases and mysteries and want to solve them. And I always feel better everytime I solve one. Gack! I'm addicted to detective stories--from novels of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (Sherlock Holmes) to anime (Meitantei/Detective Conan and Detective School Q). I once dreamt of becoming a detective someday. And that dream still keeps me hanging on what I should take in College. Yep, another problem.
07.16.04 | Upset
Wow, I can't believe I haven't updated for ten days! Well, let me tell you this. So many has been happened since those days. Yup. Wanna hear it? Surely, you cannot. But I can narrate it to you instead. (heheh, got ya!) But before that, I want to thank those people who commented to me last update even though I was out for a long time. Thank you!!! ^_^
Okay, here's what happened. Last July 8, I saw an advertisement (though not really advertising something) in the TV that we (the Filipinos) should pray at exactly 7 pm and light candles outside our homes. And it's for the sake of our Filipino fellow who was kidnapped by the enemies in Iraq and was threatened to behead unless the Filipino soldiers will be pulled out of the country. If you're a Filipino, you already know about this (unless you're not reading or watching news). Angelo De la Cruz is the name of the kidnapped victim. He's only a truck driver, civilian, and is working in Iraq to save from hunger his family.
I watched that advertisement at 6:30 pm. That day, at 5 pm, I was walking home with a somewhat disappointed face. It's because I was only chosen as an alto in our school choir. Why only alto when in fact I have a high voice. I remembered what I've sung and maybe the officers of Music Society (the club I'm in) based my voice on the song I've sung. It was very windy and dark at that time, although it was only 5 pm, and the leaves and dusts kept flying everywhere. While walking, my eyes were itching because of the dusts that entered my eyes. When I arrived home, my eyes were all red. I went to the bathroom to wash it, though I was not successful. Then came 6 pm. I was really excited to watch Ranma 1/2 again on AXN because I haven't watched it for almost a month now. But my dad was there watching news, so I never got to watch it. I went to my bedroom upstairs and cried. I kept asking myself and God why did he planned these things for me. He said it was for my sake. "What sake?" I asked him again. Then I realized that my eyes were not itching anymore because I cried, and thanked God afterwards.
6:30 pm, finally. As I told you, I saw an advertisement of Angelo De la Cruz. Then it suddenly struck to my mind that I was being too selfish. Why? I was so upset over something that wasn't important, while our Filipino neighbor there was counting his hours before he will be sentenced to death. I should in fact be grateful because I'm alive, and that my life was not threatened.
Anyway, let's change our topic. Do you still remember what I've said on my June blog? No? Well, I've said that I have to study first yet I cannot possibly hide my feelings towards someone else. And that is actually happening to me. When we have our impromptu, one of my classmates asked me this question, "How can you convince yourself that you're not in love, when in fact you are?" I said, I cannot convince myself not to be in love because I know, somewhere deep in my heart, that I love someone else. And that feeling gives the fact that I am IN LOVE. Although in my situation right now, I still deny to myself that I'm not because it will only cause me obstacles, or I'm just too scared to admit it and be rejected. I (honestly) don't want to be hurt, that's why until now, ::flushed:: I still don't have a boyfriend. It's because I can't be in a relationship that is too sudden, and I want mine to be honest and true.
Lastly, I'm still having doubts whether what I feel is really love or just an infatuation that will fade away in a period of time.
Oh yeah, before I forgot, I wanna share this cute picture I found in the net. It was so mysterious, isn't it?
(intentionally deleted it :P)
07.05.04 | Boredom
For those who are still interested, the title is "Amidst the Darkness." Waaah, got exhausted from all the school work. Can you imagine, I woke up at 2 am?!? Until now, my head is still aching due to lack of sleep and stress from all those hours of thinking, analyzing, and monotonous studies. Can't continue... must... sleep... zzzzz...
07.03.04 | Faith
I found a link from one of my friend's site, Blessed Chette. It's Dong Haeng...walking with Him. And it's so cute! (Not only cute, there's moral lessons too!) This is just one of their movie clips...
This song is too... complicated (although I'm the one who wrote it). Hope you understand the meaning. ^_^
Quietly, awakening
The thing I most longed for
Has finally come
Dark days, frightful nights
My life is a closed door
Afraid to get out, wandering
From the abyss of shadows
There's always someone
Who can lift you
And never let you drift away
The depths of eternity
Is too short to measure
And the flutter of sounds
Won't even make music
He will guide you and together fly
Towards the undending future
With the shining apparition
You'll both be free...
Oh, if you want to know the title, make a comment here and tell me what you think is the title of this song. Then, I'll post it on my next update/s. About the tune, sorry because I don't have a recorder to record and upload it.
07.02.04 | An Early Combat
Waaahh!!! I can't believe I've solved it all by myself!!! Uhm, the question in Math (more of Logic), I mean. Thank you very much, God!!! You've blessed me and given me a very ::humble:: talented mind. Thank you!!!
C.A.T. -- the word I've been cursing all my life. Had it been not required, I won't attend that stupid subject. Yep, all that shouting and nonesense was called a SUBJECT.
Why am I so angry about it? You ask. Let me tell you my little story that happened this afternoon.
Heheh, I based the title on on of our supposed to be essay topics in school. This morning, I was so anxious to get my things and hope not to get a single demerit. But, I DIDN'T KNOW that the tickler was supposed wo be sewn with a black yarn. So, this afternoon, I was forced to squat (roughly) for 2 minutes (of course, not only me, there were others too). But then, I am a person who doesn't like to be disciplined by someone younger than me (especially because my officer is so stupid in lecturing things and asking something that he didn't discuss yet). While in a 'tion' stance wherein we're supposed to stand straight and keep our hands beside, my left hand's grip was so tight (because of too much raged to my officers) that when I finally released it, the veins in my left arm were aching (ouch).
I still don't know what the heck am I writing for in here, and it was just a waste of time. But I'm lazy when it comes to jotting my feelings on a notebook, so I just post what's on my mind here. And useless or not, at least I've let out my emotions and free my mind from all those misfortunes. Okay, from what I'm talking here is the very me, you say. But you're exactly WRONG. I know that I only have the confidence to write my feelings when I'm writing it, and I'm not the typical person who always wants to fight or debate with another. Not at least with how I write.
07.01.04 | Chasing Time
GREAT. JUST GREAT. How can I suppose to do all things at once?
I was so sorry because this morning, I promised myself to go to school with Ryan. Unfortunately, I was doing something else (which was more important than being early in school), so I had no choice but to tell Ryan to just go ahead.
When I arrive at school, I remembered to finish my complicated seatwork in Physics, so I had to rush and well, finish it. Then, one of my classmates were asking me a question, and she was persisting on asking me too much. Of course, I can't entertain her at that moment for I was doing something else, so I told her to just ask the question to the others.
Recess. 20 minutes is not enough, really. I wanted to go to the library with my notebook and a graphing paper to finish my seatwork. Just when I was about the go out of our classroom, Don, one of my former classmates, wanted to borrow my Logic notebook. When I arrived at the library, I suddenly remembered that I needed a ruler and a protractor. So, I went to our classroom again to get my things including the notebook Don wanted to borrow. I looked for my ruler, but I cannot find it. Then, I saw my protractor. Phew. Getting ready again to return to the library, Claude, another former classmate, wanted to borrow my ruler and protractor (why can't they bring their OWN things anyway?). I just said that we'll be using it for our next period so I cannot let her borrow it (like I said, I don't have a ruler). I went back to the library, gave the notebook to Don, and continued my seatwork. One of my stupidest mistakes was that the question in my notebook about my seatwork was incomplete, so I had to go ask for it to my classmates. I went back (again) to the classroom and just continued it inside.
Dismissal. It should be my rest time, but what did I get? I really should be going home together with Ryan, but he left me already because I was too long, waiting for our stupid Music adviser just to show the signature of approval. Of course, I can't wait that long, so I decided to just show it tomorrow. After that, I wanted to go to the bank to deposit, but I still have a meeting to attend. JTWG. Oh, just a passive club, although I do want ours to be... active. I love writing, reading, and drawing. We discussed about financial matters, the bulletin board, mission-vision to make, nature of the club, blah, blah. And that "blah, blah" lasted until 5:30 pm (our school dismissal time is 4:00).
My comments? GREAT. JUST GREAT.
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