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08.20.04 | The World is Round
Now I understand why I'm so happy yesterday. And it's because I've been crying today.
I once watched a movie, it's when a character (daughter) was very happy, and his father told her not to be VERY happy because it would mean that there would be a lot of pain later on. After that incident, his father's words actually came true. She was kidnapped and got herself away from her father's arms. They never met again.
I forgot the title, and it was a Tagalog movie. The story is kinda tragic, and I never thought it would really happen.
The world is round. That means in our everyday lives, we have been happy and sad, are happy and sad, and would be happy and sad. We cannot the things to be as we want them to be. Just awhile ago, we are happy. A moment later, we'll be bursting out our emotions and get angry. After that, either we'll calm or cry.
But that's life. And we must accept that.
I still remember what just happened this morning when I went to school. All of my school grades were very much lower than last year's. At that time, I want to cry, but I just accepted it and want to move on. Besides, crying won't help me anyway to get higher grades. Then comes the final competition with the celebration of the "Linggo ng Wika." We were happy because Jennifer have reached the finals. But, because of all those confusing questions and annoying speeches by the MCs, our class only attained the 2nd place. Though it was okay, and we were still happy.
I went home alone from school at around 4:00 pm. I was trying to find Ryan, the one who always accompanies me home, but I couldn't find him. Because of tiredness and hunger, I fell asleep and woke at around 5:30 pm because my former classmate, Arnie, visited me. We talked about projects, school, our former classmates, crushes, even telenovelas. Of course, we talked while I'm watching Ranma 1/2 in AXN (6:00-7:00 pm). I was so happy at that time because I loved the 'Weaver' and 'Herdsman' part, who were just like Akane and Ranma. It's getting late already when we accompanied her to school. On the way, I saw Peter (my crush) playing billiards. I also saw my classmates this school year and I felt jealous because I want to join them. Then again, everytime I see him, my heart always flutter, and I feel like I want to go to heaven (joke, I still don't want to die). We (I was with someone) went home happily, and arrived home with dreamy eyes. Finally, just now, I cried. Well, it's because they've been discussing something (my family and relatives), and I wanted to say something. But they weren't listening to me at all that's why I shouted what I wanted to say. I really don't want to do it but I want some "attention," and they never really gave me once.
I guess you can say that I've written this one just to let all my feelings out. You're right. :) Because right now, I feel better again.
08.19.04 | Happy!
Why am I sooo happy today?!? Actually, there're so many things that happened, and I'm HAPPY about it. And I thank God for giving me a great day in school.
Morning. I woke up at around 6:00 am, yet I do not fear of being late. It's because we'll be having our "Linggo ng Wika" this week, and everytime there's an activity going on in our school, I am always bored, with nothing to do, nothing to eat (so hungry!), and nothing to say (because no one really wants to chat with me). Added to the fact that my class of St. Dominica is composed of very studious (except me), obedient, and ever so law-abiding students who seem to lack any fun whenever you will notice them.
I came to school at around 7:15 am. I should be late at that time, but our adviser allowed my classmates to wait for those who hasn't come yet, so I was saved from the deductions in Punctuality.
After that, instead of going to mass and attending the endless parade, roaming around UST under the heat of the sun, those who will model for the fashion show will practice while the others suffer (heheh). Of course, I was one of those who would model for the Filipianiana costumes (mine's Maria Clara). The only regret I made was that I didn't attend the mass (I missed listening to sermons).
Anyway, we have an awful lot of free time so I decided to change for my costume already. The 'Maria Clara' costume is really neat, and it fits me well. Although I'm having a little bit of hard time always fixing my 'balabal' (or whatever you call it in Tagalog; it's the one placed ontop of the kimona to cover it). While waiting for further instructions of the SKF Club (the one who organized the presentation or fashion show), I saw my former classmates in 3rd year. We talked and reminisced the old days (I like my 3rd section than my current). Then, I notice that he was holding a new volume of "Aquinian" (our High school's publication). I was surprised to see my works there, one is my article about Mandy Moore, and one is when I won the 'Scribbler of the Year' in Third Year for poetry. By the way, I want to share my poem here. The theme's about "Thomasian Love." ^_^
"The Song of Passionate Wanderer"
By Me, Inspired by Father God, Peter, and the anime, Inu-Yasha :P
Hear his voice echoing through
The vast silence of the night.
He never tries to cease
For his heart won't give up.
The Thomasian,
Dauntly unlocking the doors
Of emptiness
He drifts himself
Along the waves of solitude,
But never giving up
Until he reached the shore.
His hymn has made the larks listen
And the leaves dance gently in the air
Forming an unusual and pleasant sight.
The night will soon be over
As the dawn slowly envelopes
the unruffled land,
And, as he flaps his wings of passion,
Boldly headed through the endless horizon.
Spirited to face
The wordly gaze behind,
His voice showered the glorious flowers to bloom
And the fresh scent of grasses spread
Widely all over the plains.
Piercing through the thundering gales,
Unafraid of anything,
For he believes that he'll sooner
Find his way to the beloved.
Singing sweetly, he discovers
That all the affliction has finally
Turned into triumph,
And harmony has finally attained.
His song, his passion,
His love
Can still be heard...
Along with the breeze,
It carries his voice to hers.
Heheh. Like it? Hate it? Whatever it is, give me some comments. I really can't believe that I MADE IT. I'm not really poetic, but sometimes (especially when I'm serious), the talent just pops in, and there you go. Hey, Father God gave me this talent, and I very much appreciated it.
Back to my story. Time passed, and before we know it, it was already time for the show. I noticed my crush, Peter, waiting for the program (hey, wait a minute -- what the heck?!? Peter, watching for the 'fashion' show?!? That's absurd!) But he did. My turn came (actually I'm the FIRST one to ramp) and I modeled in a confident manner (though I'm shaking inside). After that, I noticed him slowly leaving, then somewhat stopped to see who else would model for the show (okay, now what? Who is the person he really looking for?). He stared at us for a few seconds (and I really would want to know which of us he is staring), then left. Haaay, how I wished I am 'that' person.
After the show, I changed my clothes again into ordinary ones, then prepared to eat in the canteen (I'm so desperate to eat!). At one moment, I realized that I have no enough money to buy a meal (just to satisfy my hunger). So I called our maid to bring me some food and thanked her afterwards (hey, without her, I would've fainted in our room!).
Then came the chalk festival. Lots of annoyances, thinking of complicated things just to form the concept of our abstract, gathering some ideas (and others that are illogical and remote from the theme), so many teasing, sharing stupid and funny stories, and most of all, bonding with my classmates. Actually, it was the most enjoyable part because I realized that my classmates weren't that 'nerd' nor 'geek' at all; in fact, they were very fun to be with. ALMOST (not exactly all) all of them were cheerful, and everyone was really trying their to beautify and give some deep meanings to their artworks just to win. But, in the end, even if we won't win, we're still happy because while doing the artwork for the contest, we were having fun, and we begin to know more about each other. For the first time in my life, I can say that I WILL REALLY MISS MY SECTION this fourth year of my High School life.
Oh yeah, before everything, I just want to clarify something. The Erin. Stupid Erin, using someone else's name! Especially my crush's!
08.16.04 | Nothin' to Do
I'm bored. Our quarter examinations are finished, finally! Now, I can get to sleep NORMALLY...
But, just the same, I'm still bored, so I spent the whole afternoon doing nothing except surfing and reading novels. :P Been addicted to it and still am.
Oh, yeah, and I got a question... is my layout... boring? I mean, I like my layout, though I think my avatar doesn't match the whole layout... or does it? Whatever.
avoidant
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
You represent... naivete.
So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at
times, but it's only because you're not sure
how to act. You give off that "I need to
be protected vibe." Remember that not all
people are good. Being too trusting will get
you easily hurt.
08.15.04 | Surfing...
This survey came from one of my friends in Friendster... heheheh ^_^ I just wanna share these stuffs to you. Hope you'll further know more about me. God bless!
1. Preferred to be called...
=> Sera (naks, Don!)
2. Latest addiction?
=> Rumiko Takahashi's animes
3. Favorite vice?
=> surfing the internet for four hours, watching tv during exam periods, sleeping without studying... (heheh)
4. What are your leisure plans this year?
=> To celebrate my Christmas in Japan...
5. Do you have a crush right now? If yes, who?
=> Yeppers... actually he's one of my friends in Friendster that's why I don't want to tell!
6. Food that you want to eat today?
=> Tocino (actually, I've already eaten it this lunch) :P
7. If you'll be a white collared job employee for a day, what would it be?
=> A detective! A detective!
8. Funny HS memory
=> I actually slipped 3 times on the same level of stairs consecutively!
9. Trouble you went with in College
=> Actually, I'm still in High School
10. Last Song Syndrome for now?
=> Great is the Lord by Hillsong (winks at Ate Chette ^_^)
11. Unforgettable teacher / prof?
=> Mrs. Palafox... (I miss her)
12. Fave street food?
=> Fries (kina Ate Jo!)
13. Fave childhood game?
=> Patintero with my childhood friends (haay...)
14. Do you still remember your dream last night? What is it?
=> I don't know...
15. What's the name of your first pet?
=> Inu! My dog in Bataan...
16. Time when you're so stressed out?
=> Just this day, August 16, 2004 (our test was very hard)
17. If you're going to be one of the casts of a certain anime/movie/TV Show, who would you be?
=> Tendo Akane!!!
18. When you wake up, who would you like to see?
=> My prince charming... -_~
19. A girl is physically attractive when...
=> she's clean, simple, knows how to carry herself, and smells nicely
20. A guy is physically attractive when...
=> he's clean, simple, and has a cute smile!
21. Favorite movie wherein one of the cast is your favorite actor/actress?
=> God of Gamblers (Chow Yun Fat), God of Cookery (Stephen Chow), The Enforcer (Jet Li/Li Lian Jie)
22. Favorite line (from a song,movie,poem,
etc?)
=> "You will when you believe."
23. Advice of your mom or dad that you usually DON'T follow?
=> Eat your dinner...
24. What can you say about the last movie you watched?
=> Super romantic! "A Walk to Remember" is really a shot to my heart!
You: "Eh? Ano'ng year na?"
Me: "Aheheheh... :)"
25. If you have one thing to say to yourself, what is it?
=> Get some sleep!
08.08.04 | Crammed Up
This is going to be a lllllllooooooonnnnnnggggggg week. True, we have a four-day vacation (Friday to Monday), but I'm crammed up with so many tasks to do. Haaay, if only studying would be much easier...
I'm kinda fortunate, though, because two of my former classmates will pay me just to do their projects (so industrious, neh?). And it costs 500 pesos each! Yippee! I'm almost done with the first, and I'm feeling too lazy to finish it today. I'll just continue it tomorrow; anyway, the deadline's still on August 12, and I have so much time. As for the other one, I haven't started it yet, because I haven't got the plan or the outline. Fortunately, it's still scheduled on August 18. Ten days! ^_^ As for my own project? I haven't done A BIT. Flash really bugs my mind, and I kept on changing my ideas. I'm too picky when it comes to project presentations :P.
If you think that's only my school problem, think again. I still have to do my essay in Logic, "My Own Philosophy of God." Anyone there to help me with this topic? Please? Thank you!
Then, comes the never-ending Economics recitation. I still have to recite for seven times before I can actually perfect my grade of 20% in recitation. Waaah! I can't take it anymore.
What else? Uhhmmm, oh yeah, I still have to practice for my speech or "talumpati" in Filipino. I hope I won't get embarrassed with what I'm saying. I really suck in speech.
Lastly, the ever-annoying subject of Physics. I admit that I'm very good at Physics, but when it comes to experiments, I don't even know how to start. Why can't I even just one do the right method??
I know I'm just rambling in here, but I just want to let all my feelings out just to make myself better... like now. My problems suddenly diminished, and I feel so good.
I'm going to work again, till next time, God bless! ^_^
08.01.04 | The Law of Love
Heheh, now you wonder, why "countdown?" It's because I'll be turning 16 this August 30! :P New year, new life, new challenges (and more difficult ones), new sacrifices, and new blessings! I hope I can still make it to my 70th, or whatever plan Father God has for me. ^_^
By the way, maybe you noticed my layout (I changed it :P). It's a little bit (okay, it's very pinky), which is actually not my favorite color (I like black instead). Though it blends perfectly with the sunset, so I just made it pinky. :P
Okay, here I am again. I really like this excerpt from the magazine, "Life Today," and I want to share it to all of you. It is written by Saint Thomas Aquinas, our patron saint (I study at UST). It is entitled, "The Law of Love." Okay, no more rantings, here it goes:
THE LAW OF LOVE
By Saint Thomas Aquinas
It is evident that not all are able to labor at learning and for that reason Christ has given a short law. Everyone can know this law and no one may be excused of ignorance. This is the law of divine love. As scripture says, "The Lord will quickly execute sentence upon earth." This law should be the standard for all human actions. In the case of products of human manufacture, each product is considered right and good when it conforms to a standard. So also each human act is considered right and virtuous when it conforms to the standard of love. But when a human act does not conform to the standard of love, then it is not right, nor good, nor perfect.
This law of divine love accomplishes in a person four things that are much to be desired.
First, it is the cause of one's spiritual life.
It is evident that by the very nature of the action what is loved is in the one who loves. Therefore, whoever loves God possesses God in himself; for Scripture says, "Whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him." It is the nature of love to transform the lover into the object loved. And so if we love God, we ouselves become divinized; for again, "Whoever is joined to God becomes one spirit with him." Augustine adds, "As the soul is the life of the body, so God is the life of the soul." Thus the soul acts virtuously and perfectly when she acts through charity, and through charity God lives with her; indeed, without charity she cannot act; for Scripture says, "Whoever does not love, remains in death." If a person possesses all the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but lacks charity, that person has no life. For it matters not whether one has grace of tongues, or the gift of faith, or any other gift such as prophecy; without charity these do not bring life. Even if a dead body should be adorned with gold and precious gold and jewels, it nevertheless remains dead.
Second, it leads to the observance of the divine commandments.
Gregory the Great says that charity is not idle. For charity is present if one is occupied about great things; but if one is not so occupied, charity is not present. We see a lover do great amd difficult things because of the one loved, and that is why the Lord says, "Whoever loves me will keep my word." Whoever keeps this command and the law of divine love fulfills the whole law.
Third, it provides protection against adversity.
For misfortune cannot harm one who has charity; rather it becomes useful to that person; as Scripture says, "All things work for good for those who love God." Furthermore, misfortune and difficulties seem pleasant to be lover, and our own experience verifies this.
Fourth, it truly leads to happiness, since eternal blessedness is promised only to those who have charity.
For all other things are insufficient without charity. You must note that it is only the different degrees of charity, and not those of any other virtues, which consitute the different degrees of blessedness. Many of the saints were more abstemious than the apostles, but the apostles excel all other saints in their blessedness because of their higher degree of charity.
More specifically, we can consider the Law of Love, that is Charity, as the root and cause of several other valuable things in us.
First, it effects the remission of sins. And this is evident from our own experience.
For if anyone should offend another and then should conceive a strong love for the one offended, the offense is forgiven because of his love. This is most evident in the case of Magdalene of whom the Lord said, "Her many sins have been forgiven." But why? He added, "Because she has shown great love."
Perhaps someone may say, therefore charity is sufficient for having sins forgiven and penitence is not necessary. But, it must be understood that no one truly loves who is not truly penitent.
Charity illumines the heart.
For as Job said, "we are all enveloped in darkness." Often we do not know what we should do or what we should desire, but charity teaches us everything necessary for salvation; as Scripture notes, "his anointing teaches you about everything." This is because where charity is, there is the Holy Spirit who knows all things and who leads us in the right way.
Again, charity effects perfect joy in a person. Likewise, charity effects perfect peace and gives a person great dignity.
For charity transforms us into free people but it also makes us children, that we may be called and may be the children of God, "for the Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ." While it is true that all gifts are from the Father of lights, nevertheless this gift of charity far excels all other gifts. For we can possess all other gifts while lacking charity and the Holy Spirit, but when we possess charity we also necessarily possess the Holy Spirit.
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