Top Ten Signs your child is a Xena addict...
10. Red eyes from constantly watching Xena
9. Whenever asked a question they respond with a Xena quote
8. Their room's walls are completely covered with Xena posters
7. They're computer is completely covered in Xena icons and backgrounds
6. They always skip number 6
5. They throw frisbees around the house while yelling La-La-La-La
4. They've never shown any interest in music before, however now they haved learned a instrument purely to play the XWP theme song, which is all they play
3. They have been depressed after the ending of Xena and they have started to lock themselves in their room and just sit and listen to Xena soundtracks
2. You once checked some of the Xena sites they've visited and was shocked to read some of the fanfic
1. Your child believes they are the reincarnation of Xena or Gab ~Ya, New Gab, I'm talking to you....~

Top Ten Signs your Teacher is a Xena Addict...
10. Every class begins with "In a time of ancient gods, warlords, and kings..."
9. Quote Xena for extra credit
8. She's an english teacher and the "books" you read are all Xena fanfic
7. She's a social studies teacher and she plays Xena videos to show what ancient greece was like
6. She's a math teacher and she doesn't believe in the number 6...
5. When she wants to get your attention she goes "Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi!"
4. Apple? no. Nutbread? definetly...
3. Instead of merry chrstmas it's Happy Solstice
2. She never gives homework, because she doesn't want to waste time that could be spent on Xena with grading papers
1. At the end of every class she gives a disclaimer...

Top Ten Signs your psychiatrist is a Xena Addict...
10. His advice for releasing anger? A nice warm bubble bath (with your bard...)
9. When you feel a little lost and confused she shows you 'The Way'
8. His advice for releasing tension? A nice massage...
7. When you confess you feel like you want to kill someone your psychiatrist says they feel the same way (About Tapert)
6. A blonde and a brunette worked in a M&M factory... oops, skip this...
5. He incourages you to try screaming when you feel stressed out, Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi!
4. Her most common advice? Be Nice
3. He quotes Xena in response to any problem
2. When she helps you practice stopping and counting to ten she always skips 6
1. Admit it, you want to know how the M&M joke goes... Ok, Their job was to sort through the M&Ms and find any messed up ones. One day the manger walked by and checked how they where doing. The brunette had only a few seperated, ones with As and Qs and such. But the blonde had about 1/2 seperated. He picked one up and asked "What's wrong with this one?" The blonde replied, "It has a W on it." (I warned you Zeplerfer was wierd...)

Top Ten Signs your doctor is a Xena Addict...
10. He uses pressure points instead of drugs
9. She always tells you about the invention of the "Xemlich" manuvuer
8. And the C-Section
7. And how they were invented on the same day by a certain kick-ass brunette
6. She uses a chakram instead of knives
5. He gives you nutbread when the pain is really bad...
4. She insists women yell "Yi-Yi-Yi!" during childbirth
3. He'll always give a disclaimor after an important surgery
2. She charges in dinars
1. He says pressure points will cure anything
Top Ten Ways to Battle Your Xena Addiction
10. Take a deep breath, then say "It's just a show, it's just a show..."
9. Find a new addiction!
8. Contemplate how much time you've spent on your Xena Obsession, think of ways this time could have been better used
7. Stop writing crappy top ten lists about it! You're hurting yourself, you're hurting others, please... stop!!!
6. You've sooo came to the wrong place ya know...
5. Get a pet, play with this pet, do not name this pet Argo!
4. Have a pyre for your Xena posters, not only will this let you get on with your healing, but it'll let you play with fire! FIRE!!!
3. Find a decent psychiatrist, much sure this psychiatrist isn't a Xena Addict
2. Don't fight it, there are many worse addicitions to have... (seen any trekies lately? *shudder*)
1. What, you're asking us for help?!

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