Top Ten Signs the Producers are Running Out of Money
10. Instead of using writers they use some mad-libs they found on the internet
9. A episode is entirely dedicated to a auction of various things from the Xena set (Chakrum starts at $4,000)
8. For mysterious, un-explained reasons all of the characters except Xena leave (The real reason being the fact they were fired)
7. Instead of using real actors the producers let major Xena fans play the main characters
6. Time has run out, to continue this top ten list please stuff dolar bills into your disk drive... (Wait, that's a sign that I've ran out of money)
5. XWP moves to radio so they don't have to have acrobats do Xena's moves
4. They begin to show reruns constantly and hope Xenites won't notice...
3. Instead of filming new shows they use old footage with voice-overs...
2. Gab's new outfit? Brown sack...
1. They ended the show!!!

Top Ten Signs XWP is Trying to Broaden it's Audience
10. Xena meets her spanish counter-part, Xeno
9. In a vain attempt to gain more viewers who don't like subtext, they introduce boyfriends for the girls every new episode (Oh, wait, they did that, nevermind)
8. In a vain attempt to gain more viewers who like subtext, they kill off every boyfriend Xena and Gab have (Oops, they did that too...)
7. In a vain attempt to appease both types of viewers they give Xena and Gab new boyfriends but then kill them off (Hmm, I can't seem to think of anything that they haven't done)
6. Trust me, they tried #6 too...
5. Two words: Gab's Outfit
4. Two other words: Gab's Abs
3. In another attempt to appease subtext likers and dislikers, they make Xena and Gab bisexual (Finally, something they haven't done!)
2. They kill off Eve! (I wish...)
1. Any female gets wet...

Top Ten Xena Merchandising Scemes
10. Xena: The Breakfast Cereal, turns blood red when you add milk!
9. Gab's Hair Dye Kit, for those Blonde..er.. Red locks
8. Joxer's Song Lessons!
7. Callisto's How to kill 100 people in one day Book for Dummies
6. Argo's Brand Hay
5. Auto's Book on How to not get Caught (page 3 says how to steal the book)
4. Gab's Ab's Flexmaster
3. The Warlords Guide to Conquering Greater Greece- Evil Xena's Bible
2. Gab's Bilous Green Sport Bras
1. Tapert Vodoo Dolls, the next big fad...

Top Ten Thoughts of the Producers
10. How much cleavage can I show that will attract male viewers but still not offend the femminists?
9. Who shall annoy the audience today, Joxer or Levia/Eve?
8. Gabrielle's character is getting rave reviews from the fans, time to send her on a spiritual quest...
7. Hmm, we're being a little tooo subtext-friendly, me thinks it's time for a rift
6. To kill the gods or not to kill the gods? Tuff question
5. What is Gab's real hair color?
4. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodcuck could chuck wood? (I didn't say they were Xena related...)
3. Who to kill off today, Xena or Gab?
2. Callisto is progressing nicely, time to dstroy her character by making her good...
1. The producers think?!

Top Ten Signs You Don't like the Producers
10. Your name is New Gab :)
9. You blame all XWP's problems on Tapert
8. You blame everything on Tapert
7. All of your rants seem to be centered on how the producers ruined the show...
6. And you make your poor friend listen to your ranting
5. You write fanfics where the characters complain about the producers *whistles innocently*
4. What, the "I hate the producers" bumper-stick wasn't a good clue?
3. Global Warming? Yep... that's the producer's fault
2. You've had to get therapy on court order because of those nasty letters you sent the producers
1. Your punching bag has a picture of Tapert on it

Top Ten Ways the Producers Could Annoy the Fans Even More
10. Nope, not possible
9. Make a new spin-off, Joxer: Portrait of a Hero
8. Plot? Who needs a plot?
7. Make Gab fall for *every* guy she meets
6. To save on costs, just recycle plots from Hercules
5. Dump Gabrielle as Xena's sidekick and replace her with Tara *shudders at the thought*
4. Spend even more time on Eve
3. Continuity? Who needs continuity?
2. Kill Eve (Oops, wrong list...)
1. Definetly not possible...

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