THE END TIMES
VOLUME III || ISSUE 5 || APRIL 26, 2006
JBU to Build Security Wall Around Campus!
Bono Not the Second Coming of Christ?!?!?
More Masonic Connections Found at JBU!
The Unabridged Historically Correct Story of Gary the Unicorn
The Unabridged Historically Correct Story of Gary the Unicorn
Once upon a time there was a unicorn
named Gary. He was the last unicorn in all
the lands. Gary lived a peaceful life in the
northern realm of Crumbdoodle Mountains.
He picked daisies and pranced in the
Gingerbread Forests.
Happy times
they were for Gary
the unicorn. The
good times were not
to last however. The
Evil Mandabeasts
migrated to the fertile
lands of Crumbdoodle
and bagan to
savagely lay waste
toits beauty with
their filth and anger. Slowly the Gingerbread
forests were being distroyed by the
Mandabeasts and Gary knew he must act
to save himself. With his Horn of Eternal
Knowledge, Gary the unicorn conceived of
a plan to build a Rainbow Bridge of Hope
on which he could travel through time to
the next millennium and forge for himself
a new home there. Sadly, this plan was
discovered by Gargamethenol, Lord of
the Nine Rivers and Also Lake Eucaruh.
Gargamethenol sent
his Heat-Ray Demons
to evaporate the
Rainbow Bridge of
Hope, trapping Gary
the unicorn forever
within the sphere of his
birthing. Gary the unicorn
has sense passed
into legend having
never been seen since
that fateful day. He
is said to have sworn revenge upon the
Mandabeasts with an Oath of a Thousand
Repercussions. No one can be sure but it is
rumored Gary shall return one day to bring
havoc upon the soil he once trod with the
wrath welling up in his eight stomachs.
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