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THE END TIMES VOLUME III || ISSUE 5 || APRIL 26, 2006 |
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JBU to Build Security Wall Around Campus! Bono Not the Second Coming of Christ?!?!? More Masonic Connections Found at JBU! The Unabridged Historically Correct Story of Gary the Unicorn |
Bono Not the Second Coming of Christ?!?!?Bono is the Antichrist. Yes let it come as no surprise that this peace loving musician is in fact the most deadly individual in the world. Aided by his faithful false prophet Oprah the two of them plan on taking over the world. How is this possible you might ask? Well the solution is quite simple. Bono and Oprah have created an elaborate pyramid scheme that will allow them to take over the world. Their plan is really a work of genius, Bono will release his magnum opus and Oprah will put it on her book club list. Before long everyone will be reading Bono propaganda and watching Oprah religiously if they haven�t already. The idea is simple, the faithful Oprah viewer sees Oprah promote Bono�s book and included in the back of the book is an exclusive opportunity to join the Bono and Oprah United Rulers For a Better One World Government of Tomorrow otherwise known as BOURFBOWGT. For every friend they invite to join BOURFBOWGT, the person will get a percentage of the profit, and the first ten people to get 666 people to join BOURFBOWGT get to be the ten rulers mentioned in the book of Revelation. When eschatology professor Dr. Warren J. Bishop was asked just what he thought of this, his response was �I was skeptical at first, but after reading an advance copy of Bono�s book and following the simple instructions of BOURFBOWGT, I was easily on my way to making millions of dollars and the possibility of becoming a world leader.� |
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