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---------------------------------------- [Patsy describes her sister, Jackie] Patsy Stone: She is there, behind the rich and powerful... beside the rich and powerful... *under* the rich and powerful. ---------------------------------------- Patsy Stone: The last mosquito that bit me had to book into the Betty Ford Clinic. ---------------------------------------- Edina Monsoon: What you two don't seem to realize is that inside of me, inside of me, there is a thin person just screaming to get out. Gran: Just the one, dear? ---------------------------------------- Edina Monsoon: Sweetie, make mama a cup'a'coffee. You're so clever and you know where everything is, don't you? I think it's marvelous that you know where things are. I think you're marvelous. Saffron Monsoon: Flattery won't turn me into your slave. The coffee is on the table in front of you. Pick up a spoon, put coffee in cup, pour on boiling water... Edina Monsoon: ...and scald my hand and get third degree burns, screaming in agony. Do you really want THAT in your conscience this morning, darling? Saffron Monsoon: All right. Edina Monsoon: Thank you, darling. Not instant, darling. Not instant. Grind some beans for God's sake. Instant coffee: beans that've been cremated. I don't want THEM. I want them entire, full with life force today. Would you not pull that face while you grind? I don't really want to drink a cup full of your anger... ---------------------------------------- Patsy Stone: What will you drink if you stop drinking? Edina Monsoon: I shall drink water. [pause] Edina Monsoon: It's a mixer, Pats. We have it with whiskey... I mean, you've given up drinking before. Patsy Stone: Worst eight hours of my life. ---------------------------------------- [on the subject of Eddy's weight] Edina Monsoon: Just try and help me. Try. Saffron Monsoon: What can I say? Edina Monsoon: Well, darling, just try to be little bit less Western in your thinking, if you can, please. I mean, you realize in Zen terms everything in the universe is just molecules, don't you? Ying and yong, ping and pong. Mmm? You know that, darling? These are my molecules and that's your little clump of molecules over there, sweetie. I mean, in real terms, there's no difference between me and the coffee, me and the table, me and a tree, me and Madonna, for God's sake. Saffron Monsoon: Except that you have a fatter bottom. ---------------------------------------- Edina Monsoon: All right, time for another little drinkie before we go? Saffron Monsoon: Where are you going? Edina Monsoon: New York. Saffron Monsoon: I didn't think they let people with convictions in. Edina Monsoon: Darling, its not a conviction. Patsy Stone: Just a firm belief. Edina Monsoon: Yes ---------------------------------------- Edina Monsoon: No Twiggy, we want to go with you for this. We could've gotten Kylie, but we know you have more class. You don't need to parade around with a pair of gold lame hot pants wedged up your chocolate starfish to make an impression. Saffron Monsoon: What's happened to your face? Edina Monsoon: Darling, she's just had a bit of the botox. Patsy Stone: No, it's not botox. It's "paralox." Saffron Monsoon: You look like a zombie. Edina Monsoon: She still has emotions, you know. She just doesn't have to pay for them in wrinkles. Patsy Stone: I'm happy about that, can't you tell? Edina Monsoon: No. Patsy Stone: Money well spent. ---------------------------------------- Beth De Woodi: Beth De Woodi, the sands of time are running through my hour glass. Patsy Stone: Patsy Stone, I hope you're wearing thick pads. ---------------------------------------- Edina Monsoon: Had two husbands, one was too short one was gay. Still sweetie if you want to know how to peck a dwarf on the cheek as he's walking out of the house to the disco in your dress , then I'm your girl. ---------------------------------------- Edina Monsoon: I did tell you the facts of life didn't I sweetie? Saffron Monsoon: If you mean that time you sat on my bed and shook me awake at two in the morning, stoned out of your brain, and slurred into my ear 'By the way sweetie, people have it off,' then yes, you told me the facts of life. ---------------------------------------- Saffron Monsoon: You've been getting dressed for three hours and you still look like a bloated citrus fruit. ---------------------------------------- Bubble: I turned on the, ah, watchamacallit this morning. I want to say telephone. No, that's not right. You look at it. Edina Monsoon: Television? Bubble: That's it. ---------------------------------------- Kathy: Later today we will take an in-depth look at acute schizophrenia from 9:20 to 9:23. ---------------------------------------- Edina Monsoon: Bubble? Bubble! What is your job? Bubble: My what? Edina Monsoon: What is your job? Bubble: I don't know. Get paid? ---------------------------------------- Edina Monsoon: Mother, are you still on the computer? Gran: Yes, dear. Sometimes you get into a porn loop and just can't get out. ---------------------------------------- Page 1 / Page 2 |
