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. tuesday [march|30]
i can't stop thinking about how my life has really changed these past few years. i definitly can't handle it. i remember one time that i kept on wanting to be 21 already so i could go to the "good" clubs and drink and all them good stuff. but now that i think about it. i kinda don't want to. the majority of my life really sucks right now. i wanna just go driving... who cares already on what happens to me. i just want to scream beat the shit out of something right now! too much things going on in my head. the funny thing is that i could've sworn that someone told me they would be there when times are hard. idk what happened though. oh wellz. only me... like i said. no one special. i just don't understand somethings in my life. why it happens? idk how i can withstand one situation going on in my family life... hear another issue in my personal life... and spread on my academic issues on with a superficial butter knife. i never said or asked for a perfect life... why would i? if it was perfect, then i would be alone stuck underground. but yet again... i never asked for a screwed up life. so i guess you just have to take what ever comes your way. pain... everyday... that's all i go through. soon, that's all that's going to be left. i want to be happy, but if i can't... then so be it. all i need... is support. everything has support... a dying rose bud has it's stem, a crippled man has their crutches, one significant other has their other significant other. *tear* sorry for putting you through all of this shit. i can't change right now because everything is still hitting me head on. it hasn't stopped since. so if i break down... you'll know why. so people... PILE ON THE PAIN PLEASE! i need more so that i appreciate all the subtle things in life. maybe the more you put, i'll forget everything good so that when i see it or experience it again, it will be like the first time. MY LIFE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SUCKS. FUCK YOU ALLEN!!! . saturday [march|27]
happy 22nd berfday allan man this dude man whoa is like talagang krazy na wawala naman si babes pare ko toods. have a good one bro of my bro. *he's too kool for me to be his friend* go say happy berfday to him... he's on myspace. web note: henry's site, fung_shui057@geocities.com, has undergone it's face lift. check it out. i took a late starbucks trip and thought i was going to get some homework done. guess not. i ended up writing a letter to God again. kinda cried when i was writing it. had to go to the bathroom to release my snot and wipe them eye ballz. i swear... duggong bah! idk how i'm going to send it... but i will somehow. i really need my family back. really really really need my family back. i miss the old times. i need my family back. the time is . 0116 words cannot describe how i feel right now. first of all i feel wet from the dang heineken that brad spilled on me. *changing clothes* ok. much better. i'm in real need of a multiple miracle. i wish my brother was still here. then we would just go gallavanting and not think about any thing but fun and cruising. idk... my life is just so messed up right now. and don't even dare try and tell me that you're life is alot worse. i wasn't asking. just put your self in my shoes and tell me how you feel. not how you would feel... but how you feel. i can't take any more of this. i'm trying to keep my family together but then i think that it'll be best if they're not. i need to rearrange everything. no one's making any sense any more. i want my old family back! the family that used to be happy. used to be together. used to be able to just kid around. used to be worry free. we're told never to look back because it's what's ahead that will make us. but i don't want my future. majority of it will be bleak and harmfull. Arthur... talk to me please. . monday [march|22]
whoa.. it feels funny. i'm not in school. yeah! anywho... bradly boi was askin' me about cli� shiz and i found new toys... for my... toy?// wait... err... you know what i'm talking about. hehe. i'm supposed to have a song already prepared for dance class this week. yes, we have dance practices during spring break. i kinda don't want to go. practice starts at 11 (in 19 mins)... i didn't start on the changes. i swear. my teacher thinks that i can just pull shizz out of my behind. grrr. if anything if i do go. i'll prolly just practice by my self in the other room. work on my ghetto ass technique and land my axels, double attitude jump, jette leaps, and some other jump that idk what it's called. >_< ----- didn't go to dance today. haha. oh wells. i'm going tomorrow though. wienee took me to visit boi today. then we had to kill some time until 5 so we went to pearlridge, bought some stuff. chick at the tmobile place was hella cute! she said that the song 'burn' by usher was talking about smoking weed. kinda dense in the head, but but. hehe. when 5 came around... me and wienee headed down to genki. mmm mmm mmm.
 2 shrimp tempura, 4 ika rings, and 8 spicy tuna. 12 green plates and 2 silver plate. they changed their plates. it looks nicer. hehe. damn were we hungry. we headed down to daiae to get those fragrant balls for the cars. my car's gonna smell like pikake now. hehe. well, not really because my car will always smell stank because of the previous owner and my dad. he always smokes in it. shit. thanks wienee for everything today! and everything before... and everything later. me you and tron are so gonna live together! no joke bah... luv yah manang! btw... UI'S IN LABOR RIGHT NOW!!! alojerz reader. . sunday [march|21]
visited brother today. it was way different from other sundays. my friend, Christian Ignacio, is now in hiw final resting place. his ceremony took place yesterday. i really angered at my self for not going. but when i think about it, i get to see him every sunday now. his family just came from the beach to do their filipino traditions. i saw Christian's mom and then i said went to school with Christian at st. joseph's school and she just started to cry. so i hugged her. there were alot of similarities. they were both 21 years old when they passed away. they both LOVE lemon chicken. hehe. that was awsome to know, now i need to bring two sets of food for both of them. both had serious injuries they both were about to graduate from college. christian went to remington college and was going to be a buisness man. he recieved a very generous offer to open up a business. both our families are left with parents and a younger sibling. one connection that i made was the way that they passed. Arthur had a head injury and Christian had a heart injury... idk i just was thinking that the head is above the heart... Arthur is above Christian. idk, it's just me. but i think it's symbolism is kool. i found it quite interesting as to why they chose where Christian is right now. they had two choices but as soon as his mom saw Arthur's grave, she said that she wanted Christian to be right by him so that when he goes to heaven, he will have an instant friend. see, Arthur changed alot of lives and helped people make the right decisions... and even after his physical self is gone... he still continues to help people with their decisions. i added one more person to my prayers... a friends uncle passed away just recently. i send all my prayers to you uncle and i hope that you will find everlasting life in heaven at the side of Jesus Christ. Anessa... i feel for you. love yah quarter-sister's sister-in-law. hehe. *smile* alojerz reader . friday [march|19]
school's out for spring break. are you ready? got me a few things to do during the break... big note: if any one can please help me find sound effects... hook me up please. i need full cymbal crashes, gun shots, and stomps. go fig, people think that they can find anything on the internet, but when yahoo and google lead you to 10,000 ghetto sites... i tend to lose all hope. so please help me people. took my hwst midterm today... i think i did good. i always over study. can you say dork. well, i hope everyone had good midterms. if not... it's ok. i hope the strike doesn't go on. like freal. maybe for like a week... that's it. nothing more. i don't want to take philosophy again. damnit. i don't mind taking calc again, but i need my hwst and phil to get my damn H and E focus for the college of engineering. damn dog is pissin' all over the place again. you would think that after a year or so of peepee pads the dog would learn to pee on the damn blue and white mat. but noooooo. he still goes in his small inconspicuous areas. grr. sorry guys about the smell ----- i'm going through another family crisis. everything is just getting worse. shit. i'm getting really close to just bitching at that person that everyone associates me as his son. i really need to get this family into shape. but how am i supposed to do that? i can't even put my own life in check. i wish that there was a button that i could push so that when ever anything messed up would happen... it would give me an appropriate amount of time to correct the mess up. geez, if i did that with him... i wouldn't be born, because all i would do is make sure my mom doesn't leave the philippines. i hate this already. nothing can bring him to his senses. not even the death of his own flesh and bone. coldhearted... inconsiderate... immoral... fucker! so people... if you see my "dad" please don't egg him on do anything stupid or egg him on to do anything... no matter how cool or funny you think he is. he's fuckin' sick in the mind already and all of that definitly will not cure him... so please... just don't talk to him. he's fucked up. alojerz reader . wednesday [march|17]
 is you is... or is you isn't wearin' yo green today?// if not... the kindly place ass on screen so i can PINCH IT! ... *pinch* thank you. =D happy st. patrick's day. today there was a special thingy happening at Genki Sushi in kaneohe. all the green plates were only $0.95 instead of $1.70 because FM 95.5 "the fish" did a promo there. but idk, i didn't go. >_< hawww... spicy tuna... ika rings... mmm. LET'S GO DURING SPRING BREAK! went to visit brother today and a new plot has just been dug up at the foot of my brother's plot. i've been hearing that it's the final resting place of my old school friend Christian... but idk?// i'll find out this friday because they said that the ceremony is being held on that day. if it is, then at least i can pay double respects... to my bro and him. the only thing about the cemetary that i don't like, is the whole red dirt thing. so dirty... so dirty. i'm guessing that my mom and Christians mom are gonna be talking and trying to relate everything. i can see it now. well, we do meet friends along the way. hehe. got me a hwst midterm this friday. grrr. i'll prolly start reviewing that tonight as well as my calculus stuff... these diff. eq. are sorta making sence now. hehe. i haven't had a perfect paper in calc for a while now... i'm starting to worry. =( *such an over achiever yeah me* alojerz reader . saturday [march|13]
main attraction of the evening : nina looked hot in her black outfit! ;P you GO model girl you!  headed down to anna millers where florie, tron, krystle, and i bumbped into lani and anessa. *small island* but i got small compliments on my last minute ensemble. they said i looked different. good different. hehe. i guess i looked "hot" in normal terms. i felts yuck because idk? my shoes didn't match. grr. i need to get me good universal shoes. ideas?// hook me up!// . thursday [march|11]
if the teachers go on strike again i will be very pissed off. i can't allow one more semester to fall down the drain. i know that i haven't been dancing this whole damn time to have it cancelled. i know that all the work i've put into my other academics weren't in vein. hell frunkin' no! if i made a line graph on how my life's been since my brother passed away... it wouldn't have much fluctuations towards the good. everything is basically falling down the chart. it hit 0 when my brother passed away, and since then its heading down the negative side. *sigh* but anyway. i wasn't sent into a perfect life and i know that things can and might get more worse. it's just a matter of time till it does and i know it will. BECAUSE MY LIFE SUCKS! philosophy exam is over. how did i do? i'm hoping for a C. my first exam is bumped up to a 3.8 (high B). managed to get a perfect essay answer (wow... me wtf?) ate at subway waikele for dinner. my goodness! that place makes the best Bacon Chicken Ranch Wraps! choke cheese... nicely wrapped... perfect chicken layout. mmm..mmm. mmm. i'll pay you back so that you don't think i'm taking advantage of you. i needed a hug... but since you're not here anymore... i guess i'll just have to compensate with my pillow. *tear* alojerz reader . wednesday [march|10]
managed to get a whole 7 hits today. *tear* oh wellz i'm not asking for any publication or popularity. as long as my words are heard then i'll never stop. *omg... i sound like the ring... hala! watch out!!!* good: girlfriend webcam head text.messages bad: phil.exam math.hw dirty.coach.fanny.pack all on the same day *sigh* alojerz reader . sunday [march|7]
watched the passion of the christ... lovely lovely movie *tear* there were parts where i could not keep my eyes open. like the whipping and hammering. i just couldn't. but i believe that the depiction given was pretty good, but not as accurate as what Jesus had to go through. the romans were one of the most ruthless people when it comes to torture. c'mon now, those ppl made colosseums to just fight for fun. it'll bring you back... started and finished my paper for hawaiian class... gotta love it. hate the procrastination, but love the outcome. ahh... speaking of school, i'm skurd that if i go to Manoa, i'll be so bad at turning things in on time >_<. help me! alojerz people . friday [march|5]
thanks to jarell i finally gots me a copy of usher: burn. i didn't know what the hell it sounded like anyway, but everyone's asking about it, so yeah. thanks bruh. new jam to sleep to. everything is still sinking lower and lower in my life, but i'm slowly trying to understand everything. *sigh* my insurance didn't go though because i called for the interview too late. grr. so if i die in the next 2 months, i won't be covered. grrr. so if i don't go out peeps, that's why. my gma, uncle, and anty are going back to philippines tomorrow morning and i just hope that they arrive there safely and come home safely with a whole lot of chlothes and filipino snacks :) but yeah, since they're leaving, most of the family came over to eat and play bingo. jacob stopped by and decided to become a Garcia and sugal with them. grrr. he used my money. *tear* anywho... so far so good. alojerz reader. |
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allen : twenteen paradise : b&r on the leeward side of oahu "university of leeward" electrical engineer : school menace/dork ikolano : wanna-be korean : trying tagalog dance : kjpc pop : beach : spongah : quiksilver : coach : phone fanatic photogenic : computer shizzle : beenies [etc] localboi : krazyfinklyuri : krazypinoy808 [email protected] [addicted to] friendster : myspace xanga [guestbook] klick here [tagboard]
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i've been looking for a good case for my cli� for the past 2 years and i always can't seem to find one. well, today I FOUND ONE!. hehe. that's the pic on the right (it's shrunken... so you can go and look