| 30 April 2003 |
[23.14]
I GOT IT!!! i finally found out why i'm doing really good in my calculus class! it's not because i know the material... or because i'm "smart". in my pre-calc classes, there was this one person that i had a little *when little = 109* crush on someone. i noticed that she associated well with me and i liked helping her. when we got into calc... some dude was damn smart and she would always ask him questions and she sorta faded... but we still talked. i didn't like it though... she was drifting. so i thought, since he's smarter... if i became smarter than him then she'll come back! i put my self in a subconscious competition with the other guy. and having one of the top grades in the class, i guess, reinforces the chances of her to keep coming back to me for help. oh geez... can't believe i didn't think of this before...
since i'm on a role... all the dramaz in my little life and my helpful ear for every one to talk to, has led me to one of my own theory of break-ups...
allen's theory for girls when they break up with their bf's:
f a male is in anyway picking away at your freedom, self concious, self dignity, or just your happiness in general... take the limit as "men" goes to zero... leaving you with the final equation...
.......lim
.....men--->0....(men) + women = us
..............0 + women = us....
clearly staing that women are fully independant from all other constants (men)
idk what made me do that... but it did. haha. alojerz. calc exam 4 tomorrow...
[12.57]
good afternoon reader... can't talk much, just dropping of some stuff from my head to my site.
tech question:
rearrange the simple binary sequence given to give the desired output "stomp"
01000
01001
01101
10010
10011
10100
ok i know most of that just flew over your head haha. oh wellz. doing the typical again tonight: study at sb for calc. with the addition of one more to the group. "4 is a group... 5 is a crowd." *don't know where i heard that... * if you want to join, come on over and bring some book work to do. so that you don't feel dumb when we're talking about absolute convergence and the inveral of convergence with radius, R. ;)
me and one of my friends were on the phone 'round 20 after midnight and the topic of conversation shifted like a positive going edge triggered 4 bit right/left shift register with parallel and serial load & hold capable chip. (say that five times fast X&) the convo got more on the serious side and a question was raised... "do you regret anything?" at that moment, key moments in my past just shot out of the depths of my mind. things i've said, actions that i've done, moment's i've failed to take advantage of... all just shot out like it was one big spit ball coming out of a straw with a diameter of a mile. (spit ball greatly exagerated to simulate the impact it made on me) and now that i think of it more, i still do regret everything. haha. oh my... i think i need to see a shrink... any suggestions?
D... WDILY?// TMD.. TMD..
| 29 April 2003 |
[14.53]
geocities has been giving on the fritz for a while. it's in the remedial stages of decomposition. (>_<) i've been surrouded by a huge mass of formal speakers this year and it's beggining to stir up my curiosity as to whether i'm capable to speak formal english. in the past i've tried, but individuals in my little group of friends find it annoying when large words are substituted for simple, more understandable words. i need to jump on that verbal track to better my speaking skills. till then, fawk em! haha j/p.
oh geez... i just remembered. me and my friend had a little compitition thing going on. i know this might disgust you and you might think *oh geez typical jerk* but it's not what you may seem. :P . we had a little thing with this new girl that we met. she's really cute. and we were both checkin' her out. awsome smile, almost flawless personality, not too timid, not too crazy... it's like she was a replica of our ideal woman. hehe. but she flowed more towards my buddy but ish all good. YOU WIN... YOU WIN. swoon them with your charm and slightly akward but cheery personality. hope it goes good with you two.
oh... and yeah one title to explain the trials and tribulations of a 19 year old boy that doesn't know what to do any more... it's called... "The Trials and Tribulations of a 19 Year Old Boy That Doesn't Know What To Do Any More." =P
[01.25]
didn't get any sleep sunday night. i was on my roof yesterday. just sat up there with a pencil and paper. for some reason all i was writing was manok and chicken. ahhh! haha. too much kfc. i was so quiet today it wasn't funny. damn... felt good though... because no one was bothering me. i think i should give up sleeping till i graduate. ang gulo ng isip ko...
err. my blog is so generic. haha. oh wellz. take it or leave it. i remember one day me and henry was talking about being our own hosts and ish... we were gonna call it. www.toogoodforgeocitiesbutnotgoodenoughtobehosted.com hehe. it went something like that. i made another one with my othere friend... but i rather not say what we conjured up. >_<.
| 29 April 2003 |
[01.25] didn't get any sleep sunday night. i was on my roof yesterday. just sat up there with a pencil and paper. for some reason all i was writing was manok and chicken. ahhh! haha. too much kfc. i was so quiet today it wasn't funny. damn... felt good though... because no one was bothering me. i think i should give up sleeping till i graduate. ang gulo ng isip ko...
err. my blog is so generic. haha. oh wellz. take it or leave it. i remember one day me and henry was talking about being our own hosts and ish... we were gonna call it. www.toogoodforgeocitiesbutnotgoodenoughtobehosted.com hehe. it went something like that. i made another one with my othere friend... but i rather not say what we conjured up. >_<.
| 27 April 2003 |
[22.04] the bbq
the bbq was a success... sorta. hehe. not gonna go into minute details but yeah. we started a tad bit late but it became more interesting throughout the night. as in las vegas "what happens, stays." oh... i forgot to put this on the caption for the pic... so here... just for you brad.
nothing much to say... back to one of those shlumps. goodness gracious my blog is so stupid! in comparison, it doesn't seem to stick out. blah... oh wellz. i'm at a desparate plea for help... but yeah... i don't go to any one anyway. so i'm plea-ing to my blog... haha. grr.
| 25 April 2003 |
[23.06] UPDATE!...
well... before we went to the dance festival, we decided to get a bite to eat. my fren mel brought two new faces to the crowd for us to corrupt with our wierd ways. hehe. mr. randall & mr. justin. two pretty well rounded guys... both ICS majors at UH. hehe. it was like... LCC E.Engineers (me & krystina) vs. UH ICS Majors (justin & randall). both got their ups and downs. welcome to the family guys... question is: can you handle us? hehe... j/p. oh... drinking buddies?// BRING ME OUT!
the dance festival was awsome! brought back the memories of dancing last semester. surprisingly, after the thing was over, a couple of the dancers that knew me was wondering why i wasn't in it. haha. so tupper. maybe next semester. there was a whole lotta awsome outfits... crotchless pants on chicks with red panties, fishnet stockings with short black skirts and 'fuck me' boots, short red skirts with black stockings and formal coat. my my my. lovely women! the finale was a taiko number. loved it... loved it. practically went perfect... except... maybe one part. in one piece... the dancer's stripped down to panty and bra, tanktop and briefs. sorta kinda disturbing... but very good interpretation i must say.
after the festival we were supposed to meet back up with randall and justin... but then we got kinda stoked for time because anessa had to be at another part by 11 and i had to be home before 12 to do some flight concent forms of some sort. so yeah... rain check. gotta kick back with them again. drinking buddies... freal. haha. alojerz reader.
[15.57] LCC Dance Festival
today was rather boring. nothing special... got to finish my day early because me and my EE partner finished our circuit early. just gotta make the reports over the week end and we're done. woohoo! so me and jay had extra time on our hands... so we went to pete's house... and there's carpet! it's a start. hehe. we're choppin' down the trees in the back now. jay was just whackin' away at an old ass marungay tree. we took down around 4 or 5 trees in that 30 minutes that we were there. pretty kool. i tried to kick one down... but according to newton's third law, a force on an object has a force equal in magnitue and opposite in direction. so i didn't do a damn thing to it but mess up my heely's. errr.
today's the big dance thingy. so i think nessa, melissa, krystina, and i are the only one's going from the clan. hehe. oh wellz. prolly might just be a buss anyway... i didn't even charge the batteries on the camera. *stupid!* sucky quality anyway. i guess imma blog when i come back... alojerz reader.
| 24 April 2003 |
Howdy howdy howdy. i was really interested with the after break conversation that my calculus teacher was having with us. it was directed around the university of hawai'i system's change in thier logo and colors. he tried to draw them out for us... but it looked like chicken scratch... but we sorta got the picture. he said that the first time he saw one of the designs... first thought that popped into his head was BATMAN! and clearly, if you have a creative mind... you can see it too. one logo has an H with a wave as the crossbar. the wave representing our unique position... in the middle of the ocean. haha. and it signifies the connection between east and west. the other logo consists of two H... a standard H is in the background while there's a swirlled "asian-ish" H overlapping it. (as shown). it also shows a tid bit of our position and our background on the islands. "the sweeping curves resemble waves, unfolding ferns and, more generally, the importance of the natural world to Hawai'i." one thing that got me going was that they might totally drop the whole community on the names of the the community colleges. The University of Hawaii System Leeward College. i love it! UHSLC. hehe. each campus will have thier own designated colors... the different island Universities will adhere to their island color, and the different individual community colleges in the system will have their own color. LCC is going to be periwinkle. hehe... isn't that the cat on blue's clues? well, it's better than gold and purple. >_< . you can read up more on this at hawaii.edu
it's been a good forever and a day since i took a pic on my cam. damn... wtf's going on with my face? eww!!!! it's been a quite stress free day so far, well, until i hit up the physics and calc work. shiz. errr... i've been able to get my physics homework done for the past week... and i'm actually understanding it! hoorrrraayyy!!! we're working with thermodynamics and the concept is supposedly simple but yet... difficult. i still hate physics. we got to mess with this jelly filled pack with a lifesaver like button in it... it starts off as a fluid (liquid) and it solidifies in room temperature but it doesn't until you push the button. and after i had pushed the button... it started to solidify, not completely, and release heat. then he asked me "allen... what did it do?" and i said exactly what i saw... and then he kept on staring at me for about a minute or two and then he said "oh... don't stop... keep going." i was thinking, i finished talking a long time ago, and only now you realized i stopped? then i added "it got hot." then in his most sarcastic voice he said "OH REALLY??// IS THAT WHAT IT DID? HMMM... WOW." can we make our students feel alittle bit more dumb! but yeah. he was eww... haha. alojerz reader... leave your post. alojerz.
| 23 April 2003 |
my friend hooked me up with a nice song... idk who sings it but here's the lyrics... some kind of a it "tahcht" me.
honestly
i love you. i need you to hold me every night
and when you're feeling lonely, girl i'll be by your side
i'll tell you that i love you so, i'll hold you and never let you go
*girl tell me your love belongs to me & i love you honestly
i want you to know that i'm always here for you
through your bad times, your saddest times
**i'll help you see it through i'll comfort you when you're alone
i'll give you love like you never known*
there will be times when life will seem unfair
but you can run to me
'cause you know girl, i will be there**
no real dedication... but if you like... it's to you. haha. i need a good list of panunut(thinking/sad) songs. any one wanna hook me up? hehe. send all fan-mail... ( oopsh, wrong site. >_< ) email to [email protected] if ya'll got some slow jams that rock.
my lack of transportation to where ever is begging to really x 1023 starting to get to me. i could find me another job (still want to get that job @ hale koa). i could go to and leave school on time. i can go, kidnap someone and go to the other side of the island to kick back and cruiz... and be back by her curfew so her parent's wouldn't get all angered at her. i could go to other starbucks to study. geez. so irks.
another blob of thoughts... how you gonna act... may tanong ko para sayo:
bakit anong why don't you leave a message on my tag board or sign my guest book?
| 22 April 2003 |
starting off with a happy bday peter (21apr). that's us and the house so far (taken saturday 20apr). alot more helpers now... maraming salamatz to wienee, arlene, mabel, tron, anessa, brian, brad, nelson, carmen, john, jacob, and patricia for workin' on peter's house today. they got the wagner spray gun thingy and did all the cracks and ish... and lots of caulking went on. all ober da plais. don't know what's the plan for tomorrow yet. we'll see.
about my little sub-heading... i still don't know how to do tagalog. (do... not talk... not write... but do) >_< for the past couple of months i've been thinkin' about my life: past, present, and future. there are alot of things i greatly regret that i have unleashed into this world. more problems to add on other people's shoulders... unnecessary burdon that i just managed to slip on. my badd... if i could, i would go back in time and i would have stopped my self and kept me as sane as possible. leaving me mistified in the eyes of every one. i regret not pushin' my self in HS to aim high. if i'm doing pretty good now with my stupidity in HS... imagine if i took HS a little bit more seriously? better college path, diverse in ethnicity and surroundings, could have been my current position. sadly it's not. one thing that i can't change that i would really want to have done is stay in private school. maybe there, i would have optimized my sad excuse for talent, if i do possess one now. getting reaquainted with a few of them really make me think. like my buddy joel... awsome guy. i remember playin' sham battle at St. Joseph's back in the day. now he's in the business arena... good job bruh. keep it up. and where am i? uhhh... pretending to want to become an engineer. the most difficult one at that... electrical. i didn't even choose my major... i relied on my friends to select my path for me. my heart's not set to become anything. the only thing that's going through my head is to pass these classes on this pink paper before i turn 25. gee golly watdaf?!?! all i want to be able to do is support my parents and my brother & sister if needed. because i'm not going to have a family, no kids, no wife, nothing. i'm going to be a bitter middle aged man with nothing to do but make mom and dad happy. no work for them... just watch TFC all day or work on the garden... small stuff. that's all i ask. don't take this down for the record... but i don't feel there is a need for me to have a wife... and i feel the same way right now about a gf. i can't do anything for them anyway. so why bother?
you know how sometimes it's difficult to think back as to when you went wrong? well, i'm eigther really strange, or fucked up... because i know when my life turned... guess next time i can't follow my instinct, but follow the surrounding ethics and morals.
sorry for everything that i [have done/doing now/will do] to you. my existence has no purpose... i honestly feel that way. sorry for not doing enough. sorry for doing too much. sorry for writing this. sorry for leaving. sorry for lying. sorry for avoiding. sorry for my attitude. sorry for being ur friend. sorry for being ur bf. sorry for being ur son. sorry for being ur brother. sorry bor being ignorant. sorry for teaching. sorry for learning. sorry for thinking. sorry for being attatched. sorry for surviving.
sorry for the boring ness and incoherency of my thoughts... take it or leave it. it... is me.
| 18 April 2003 |
LCC's easter egg hunt was yesterday... i managed to find 2 eggs =(. i gave them away though because my sister snagged me a huge orange one. my prize was 2 movie tickets and a lunch voucher. that's my medal. hehe. every medium and large plastic egg contained one. in order to redeem your prize you needed to wear them. my buddy jeff has some of the festivities caught on his digicam. check it out. it's labeled 'aloha fiday concert (john cruz) - easter pizza'.
yesterday's 'remodel your own house in a month' session was quite messy. my whole right leg was painted over by peter, the left calve area was covered and my left and right arms were also painted. i guess it was 'paint allen day'. man was that a pain to remove from my leg hairs. *ouchie*
we all went to catch a movie and go to zippy's in kapolei. the movie of choice was ANGER MANAGEMENT. with a title like that... having the main song be West Side Story's - I Feel Pretty. haha. it wasn't all that funny though. **--- two stars... but then again, i'm not a movie critic. so hush up allen! good times... good times. GOOSH FABA! idk but zippy's simple omelet hasn't yet ceased to satisfy my taste buds. mmm.mmm..mmm. :�. bacon and cheddar cheese. scrum-dum-lum-cious! questions comments... post! alojerz reader.
*i (really x 1023) need you.
| 16 April 2003 |
$303.00 for summer school. cheese and rice! mother dearest was shocked by the price. i guess i'm not going to PI. hrmm. maybe they can go during the summer while i'm at summer school, then after summer school, we can all go to maui or something. arrano? idea? family outing? highly unlikely.
nothing really hair raising happened today... besides the whole preparation for LCC's Job Fair tomorrow. they totally moved our benches! luckily it was just 'round the corner. we've been in front of the campus center since fall 2001 and we're not willing to give it up. hehe. good times there... good times.
you know you're a good writer when a reader can fully picture what you're going through as you speak. lots of descriptions of surroundings, motions of objects, and thoughts running through your mind. i hope to achieve one day that sence of passion towards my writing. one person that's really taken the cake for it... is mr. Mark. with the simplicity of a roof top visit, he manages to flavor his speech to what is now called ... umm... his blog. haha. awsome content on his page. check it... alojerz reader
| 15 April 2003 |
oh my my MY today was a really skrewed up but satisfying day. started off by recieving my calc exam and quiz back. not bad. i can say that i'm not the calc idol no more... and i'm not gonna be unless there's choke extra credit. i'm at a 100.7% EWWW!!! satisfaction guaranteed. hehe. then here comes registration... me and arlene went to try and register but we got shut down... or should i say... THE DAMN 'MY UH' SYSTEM WAS DOWN!!! it's up for a minute and then down for an hour and it keep oscillating. me, nessa, and lani were in the councelors office to get a waiver of prerex and some chick oppened the door and said "OH MY GOD~!" me, being the wise ass that i am, said after i turned my head away from her attention, "He's here? Already?" hehe*i know... i would've slapped me too* hehe. then she questions about our current actions in the office... so i told her that we're getting waivers and the UH site is back up and fall registration is recommencing at the A&R. then she gave me the sassiest face and tone of voice and said, "where did YOU register?" again, being mr. wise arsh i told her, "Oh, I recieved assitance from student government just up the hall, but for all the REGULARemph-asses on that word students, it's at the A&R window." then she again gave me that face and walked out. geez. people are so tense now a days... GET A MASSUSE AND KICK BACK IN THE CAMPUS CENTER. *grrr*
painting peter's house was hecka fun, we managed to finish all 3 bedrooms along with the hallway. pretty good for a day's work. we have to see tomorrow about the living room and kitchen. lots of work... lots of work. then, me and wienee got to go to tron's house... omg! we got to inside. only a select few are allowed into his house... and we're blessed to be part of that group. hehe... YAHOO!!!
now i have to go settle down and do some hw. physics and ee... go fig. haha. tonights choice of music is linkin park... meteora. tron let me borrow. i guess i was too lazy to dl them all to my comp. haha. geez... btw, darn parents are arguing AGAIN... gues what on this time? my dad was watching a movie on the tv... and my bro, 20 years of age, is in there and there was a scene on the tv that showed some sex and my mom changed the channel. oh geez!!! we're old enough to see that, and my dad is ang-gerred *hehe* at that. my my my... can we just let your little boys grow up. please?
| 13 April 2003 |
there was this one turning point in my life and i'm glad that it happened with that person. it opened my eyes and showed me that i could be a dick head. not really sure if that was what i was trying to show to my self... but it shows yet another fault. not sure where i'm trying to lead this hehe. it just feels kind of wierd. this whole week, i've been getting these nostolgic periods. first... i found a cd that person made. i tried to pop it into my ghetto jvc boom box... but it was so ate up that it could only pic up a couple tracks before quitting. baba b - if you're not here; faye wong - eyes on me; utada hikaru - first love (regular and instrumental versions); boys II men - on bended knees (acapella); eric clapton - if i saw you in heaven; idk the rest of the singers... more than words (acapella); say you'll stay; and some other songs... not sure. a day or two after, i found this:
it's not even mines... but i remembered that we had a trivial argument about it: is it a cow? or a donkey?... it still looks like a cow to me... but they insisted that it was a donkey... so to make them happy... i just kept it. my donkey. hehe. then last night... i had a dream about her.
*enter dream sequence*
i was just sitting there, minding my own business and my friends just showed up. like *poof* kine action. and then she came and sat right next to me. my mind was blank and nothing seemed to take me off of what was going to happen next. then she leaned over and kissed me on the cheeck. i stared in shock at her. then i looked back at my friends... as if nothing was wrong with what just happened... it was like they didn't care. so it was ok for me to be with her. and i leaned back into her face... one more kiss... *hawaiian music playing super loud in the background*
then i woke up. haha. geez. but now i question... why? i still don't know. but the past is the past... not really sure how you're really doing but i hope it's good.
Summer & Fall 2003 registration begins tomorrow... geez. so quick. 2 years in college already and i can say that i'm still not sure if this is the right path for me... i did one year of jack shiz... one year of pre-engineering... do i go back to the libs? or stay in the engineering? akk! well... here's what i got so far...
Summer '03:
HIST152: World Civilizations II
Fall '03:
EE211 : WI - Basic Circuit Analysis [with 3 hr lab]
PHYS272 : General PHysics II
PHYS272L: General Physics II Lab [another 3 hrs]
MATH231 : Calculus III
ECON131 : Principles of Macroeconomics*tentative*
there's a whole crap load of us that are going to try and get into the same world civ during the summer... i doubt we'll all get in though. alojerz reader.
| 12 April 2003 |
Jimmy Bondoc - let me be the one
some body told me that you were leaving... i didn't know
some body told me that you were unhappy but it doesn't show
some body told me that you don't want me no more
so you're walking out the door
no body told me you've been cryin' every night
no body told me you've been dyin' but didn't want to fight
no body told me that you fell out of love for me
so i'm setting you free
let me be the one to break it up so you don't have to make excuses
we don't need to find a setup where someone wins and someone loses
we just have to say our love was true but has now become a lie
so i'm telling you i love you one last time and goodbye...
some body told me you still love me.. i don't know why
no body told me that you only needed time to fly
some body told me that you wanted to come back home
when our love was real again
just turn around and walk away, you dont' have to live like this
but if you love me still then stay, don't keep me waiting for that final kiss
we can work together through this task or we can work through it apart
i just need to get this off my chest that you will always have my heart
let me be the one...
[16.45] whoa whoa whoa--- *lookin' at tag-board*... where'd ya'll come from? haha. j/p. thanks for the compliments people... if ya'll gots any comments on how my site might bite... *which i hope it doesn't* then email them to me. please email all comments or concerns to [email protected] and i will gladly take it into consideration upon the next time i get super ass bored to make another layout.
the 11th annual
LCC DANCE FESTIVAL
Friday, April 25, 2003 at 7:30 p.m.
LCC Theatre
Admission: $10.00
Ups...*buttons stage left*
-fung_shui057 ~ henrae : jlo brown yellow feel... check it out.
| 11 April 2003 |
i was doing my daily run through of sites, and mr. C.A has a little prayer to God. some times i feel that way too. but only when i'm alone. hehe. it's like talagang depressing. no one to have & to hold. just you... akk. we recieved a sheet from psy class today and it is supposed to determine our loneliness level.
*[1:never][2:rarely][3:sometimes][4:often]
1. i feel in tune with the people around me
2. i lack companionship
3. there is no one i can turn to
4. i do not feel alone
5. i feel part of a group of friedns
6. i have a lot in common with the people around me
7. i am no longer close to anyone
8. my interests and ideas are not shared by those around me
9. i am an outgoing person
10. there are people i feel close to
11. i feel left out
12. my social relationships are superficial
13. no one really knows me well
14. i feel isolated from others
15. i can find companionship when i want it
16. there are people who really understand me
17. i am unhappy being so withdrawn
18. people are around me but not with me
19. there are people i can talk to
20. there are people i can turn to
keep your answers and i'll prolly get the results sheet next week.
miss na miss na kita. 81.18.18.91.9
| 10 April 2003 |
button... stage left. am i worthy?
