| [ | .saturday | ] [ | 31 Janurary 2004 | ] |
thanks peeps who called and commented... i know. drama prince.
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today was the field trip to the loi at ka'ala farms in wai'anae. it was pretty kool. we got to dig up stuff with our feet and eat kalo. pretty interesting. i felt like a kid again when i was running around on the grass bare foot with dried up mud on my hands and feet. ahhh... the good old days. it kinda smelt like swomp romp though. that nasty gaggy smell. but it's all good. we helped the 'Aina.
after we got home and took a shower, tron and krystle allowed me to join them for lunch at sumo ramen at pearl city highlands food court. that place rocks. they have some mighty good spicy chicken. a little salty, but just good enough for my pallet. after that i finally purchased my ps2 power plug. now i can utilize the ps2 that's been collecting dust since God knows when. tron just got final fantasy anthology. it's final fantasy V & VI, but i'm only interested in VI because that's the main RPG that me and my bro loved to play back in the days of the super nintendo entertainment system.
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last night a group of us watched you got served and it was pretty tyte. like one of my friends said "the story line was slow". i totally agree, but if you're a dance fanatic (like moi) then you'll like it. had small kine flash backs though during this one scene though. you guess which scene when you watch it. my sister and her sister-in-law, lani and anessa, couldn't join us so if you guys want to watch it and want me to come... tell me. would be nice to watch it again.
alojerz reader.
| [ | .thursday | ] [ | 29 Janurary 2004 | ] |
there's stress and problems around every turn.
there's no hope any more
there's no reason why anything happens
i seem make things worse with every word i speak..
i just need... you. but i'm not sure it's me that you need. think about that.
| [ | .tuesday | ] [ | 27 Janurary 2004 | ] |
i'm in school right now and i'm tired as fook. sitting at the benches all alone. *tear* OMG i thought that dance was going to be fun. oh my goodness. don't get me wrong, it's fun but only to some extent. when you learn the entire combo and choreograph a small section and teach it, yeah it's fun. but when you put everything into detail, the hands, the toes, the legs. it's TIRING!// but i guess i'm getting my money's worth. getting a small yet good aerobic work out. hehe.
anywho, here's me! yes i'm at the benches and yes my hair is a mess... what do you expect?// a GQ'd dude. oh hell no. that's why i'm still single. haha. btw not taking any applications. haha... if there was any
got plans for saturday night? well, a fellow dancer is performing at blue tropix and they're trying to raise money to send their dance/cheer squad to nationals, or something. haha. idk?// but yeah...
where: blue tropix
when: saturday, 31jan2003
time: not sure but they said that it starts 'bumpin' at 8PM
entrance: $10... after their fundraiser, if you decide to stay, you can for no additional fee... *good deal... LET'S CLUB!!!*
oh boy jamba juice would be soooooo good right now. *sigh*
[/blog done on cli�]
| [ | .friday | ] [ | 23 Janurary 2004 | ] |
another day of dancing went on yesterday and man oh man is my body sore. speaking of dance, i still need to buy my stupid jazz shoes. grrr. anywho when i got to my calc class yesterday evening one of my classmates made a funny crack and he said "oh, do you need a massage?"... and the rest of the guys were all laughing. shizzle. hehe. all fun, all fun. we had an issue in calc class with this particular student. so next tues, we're gonna mess with him. haha.
do we all remember kid cuisine?// i miss those things so much. one night i just want to get like 2 or 3 boxes, heat those suckas up, grab a dvd or two, and just curl up in my living room when no one's home. that'll go so well with this kind of weather. IDEA! *adding that to my list of things to do*
alojerz reader...
| [ | .tuesday | ] [ | 20 Janurary 2004 | ] |
one of the topics that we were talking about was about all of us having kids. sounds regular right?// but here's the catch. haha. tron had an interesting theory of every one having a baby in the same year. haha. so we would all have each other's phone numbers and we would call each other up and ask "hey... we're having sex tonight, so go!" haha. then wienee said why not just rent a hotel. then we were thinking yeah, have the entire floor for just us. then wienee finished and said "... we can do em all in one room! " hahaha. ewww. then i said yeah... all the guys going be in one row and the girls in the other. haha. every one thrusting at the same time. hahahahahaha... *are you getting a mental picture yet?// * hahaha. but yeah... that was our little thoughts that night.
i saw ate dexie at ward afterwards. it's been a while since i've seen her but she's still the same cut little child. hehe. some kine of a sister-in-law! 
. we kinda caught up on everything. always good to keep in touch with a loved one. speaking of which we still have her christmas gift at the house. haha.
i bumbed into kristen at longs EB today. geez. everyone's just bumpin' into me. hehe. and the first thing she said was "Wow Allen! You're getting taller!" haha. i wish, i actually shrank! i'm only 5' 9" now. how you do that? being 5' 10" for all of high school then just lose an inch. how?// grr. anywho ... she told me to take care of my selft because if i don't... then she'll kick my ass. seriously now... if got $0.10 for every time someone's told that to me since everything happened. i would be kinda rich right now.
hrmm... what else to babble about?// SCHOOL! oh, today begins day one of the auditions for the aerosmith medley. so far so good. we learned 32 counts so far. so far so good. after that was through, our instructor needed all the guys to start on our little piece. here's the cool part, i guess, i have to choreograph 16 counts haha. woohoo. so my stuff is going to be in this. but, idk how to dance to banjo/country music?... i'm stumped.
| [ | .sunday | ] [ | 18 Janurary 2004 | ] |
what can be more worse than contradicting everything that someone says to you? the contradicted must feel a sence of anger and frustration of some sort, do you agree? i just can't quite understand why i contradict. it's my bad habit that will land me alone and hopeless in the future.
my life has hit that damn fork in the road again! i swear i think no matter which path i take, i'll end up at that exact same point. i choose what i think is right and i live for a few moments in life loving every second of it. the fork reappears. then, i choose the wrong path and it leads me to depression and uncontrollable thoughts of how this world would benifit from my loss. then again, the split question comes to play? i figure that no matter which way i choose, i will still come to that 50/50 chance question. nothing can raise me higher than what i am now, so why stay amidst my own wrongs and dig my self deeper into this tragedy. for once i'm actually taking my own advice. aim lower, so that if by sheer dumb luck, you manage to go above what you set your sights on, you'll be content with that gain.
you wanted to know what was going on in my head... well here it is. but i doubt you'll be reading this. i'm afraid! i'm scared that my family will not recover from this sudden and tragic loss. heck, i'm not even sure if i will ever recover. you have already seen how i've changed and i definitly it hasn't been for the best. i question everything that i've done. whether or not it was positive or negative. what's been in my head?// my life i can't see it with you, but at the same time i can. i've been shitting bricks since that first day quarrels arrised. i can't even imagine how low i make you feel sometimes. i don't understand how you can put up with my shit. i on't really ask alot from you, but you're the one that gives and with the status i'm in now, i'm in your debt. i honestly cannot find a way to satisfy you. i don't know how to make you happy. for the past few weeks, i feel as if everything is miserable. my life, your life, the timing of everything, all of it. i worry about stuff. my family most of all. i've seen one leave and if when their time comes these feeling come back in, i don't know how my body will handle it. will i hurt myself?// or hurt you?// see... i have different views of everything and i can't help but to think like that. i don't see my self as someone that is made to love, but to impose danger and unwell being. i feel that i'm a virus on this earth. but i don't want to have to result in dragging the world down with me. that's why i keep to my self... that's why i'm like this. tell me... which can you think more of?// more good things about me?// or bad things?// i'm extremely brusque about alot of things, and this might be one of them. i've already told you once that i don't dispel my problems to the world because i don't really expect it to come back with any feedback. doing that will do no justice. since i feel that way, why should i even consider releasing that burden to my friends. i care too much about them to have them worry about my measly behind. and you said that i have already met these people whom i can confide in?// i'm known my best friends for just a little over half of my life and that's alot to lose if i heavy their load with my problems. i have yet to meet with that person again, the one who understood what i was going through, the one that i could think of fun and happiness when ever we're together, someone that i could grow old and die with. i have yet to rejoin myself with that person. when i do, i promise i'll tell you everything that went on my mind ever since...you wanted to know what was going on in my mind... there you have it. i can tell you that's just a small cuspid that originated from that painful jaw of despair that was inflicted upon my soul from birth. right now you must hate me. and i totally understand. why wouldn't you be. if i was you, i would hate me too. someone who doesn't speak atop their mind, someone who keeps things inside, someone that's annoying, someone that's just not worth it. i can't see any means of good to me no more. i've lost it.
| [ | .wednesday | ] [ | 14 Janurary 2004 | ] |
sometimes i want to just give everything up and meet up with him already
sometimes i want him to come to me and show me what to do
sometimes... i just cry...
sometimes i ask God for him back even though it's not possible
sometimes i get flashbacks of that morning
sometimes i want to go back and stop him from getting into things
sometimes i go to his room to just talk and cry
sometimes i close my eyes and open them and see if he's there
sometimes... i don't know what to do any more
i miss my brother
| [ | .tuesday | ] [ | 13 Janurary 2004 | ] |
[.2302] so today was my first day of dance class... not bad. got me a locker with one of my old friends from hs. he's a '99 grad. sister class... none the less. hehe. gotta love it... having people that you know in your classes.
i know that alot of people prolly did this already but they're not me. hehe. so here's the whole "first day of spring 2004" mumbo:
- HWST 107: teacher's pretty awsome, got tron, and mel in my class. but surprisingly i have one of my first friends that i made my first semester here. i didn't really keep in touch... but i hope she still remembers me. haha. if not... oh wellz... her loss of a study partner. hehe
- PHIL 101: for starters... THEY SKREWED US OVER AND SWITCHED TEACHERS! damn... it was supposed to be a pretty good teacher but NOOOOO. they switch him for a new teacher. damnit! well, this is prolly the only one that i'm dreading the most because he bases our grades by the way that have our dialouge in class. if we participate, and how well we hold arguments. geez. imma get a C for this class. *grrr*
- DANCE 132: there's only 3 new students out of the 27 that registered, and i'm one of them. *shy* i have to learn bones and muscles haha. not bad. except for the final. it's a solo piece and i have to incorperate ever dance technique learned this semester. oh my!
- DANCE 180: fun fun fun! dancing for 3 hrs... STRAIGHT! but anywho... the performance dates are already set. April 30 & May 1. if you came to full moon madness, you're going to love Dance Festival. can't wait.
- MATH 232: yes ppl... i do have a class that's kinda hard. haha. well... not really. calculus comes easier... but it's just the teacher that makes it challenging. today was the first day and we're already doing not single integrals, no no no, not double integrals... but triple integrals. woop woop! loving it!!!
so yeah... if you don't like that horrific picture up on top... don't take it. hehe. everyone else... please... feel free. haha. well... that's all the time we have here on "boring blog" see you next time...
alojerz reader...
| [ | .sunday | ] [ | 11 Janurary 2004 | ] |
that was my look last night at my anty's wedding. lani picked the color scheme... i just did the hair. haha. so how do i look?// i think i look like a korean actor or something... hehe.
school starts tomorrow and i'm not really afraid of it. *that's bad* since i'm not taking alot of my core classes like physics or ee this semester, i'm kinda skerd that i will loose my determination to do all my work. haha. well, i am a dork. so, i just hope that i won't. haha.
the cold buster from jamba rocks! my friend said that it'll work, sorta, so i just thought i should get one. i didn't know that it was orangy though. it's a good change from all my berry drinks. yum yum yum. kill those bad germs~!
welpsh... allz i want to say is GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE except you THIS SEMESTER. MAY YOU HAVE GREAT GRADES AND AN AWSOME SEMESTER. hehe. i know... i'm mean. but oh wellz... that person sucks. alojerz reader!
| [ | .saturday | ] [ | 10 Janurary 2004 | ] |
idk... it'll get all effed up again when school starts. haha.
"might be important to you" news:
- Welcome to Hawaii Lani!
- Aloha Patrick...
- buddy boy Jace returns to the mainland as well
- part of my family's in Big Island... WITHOUT ME! *tear*
- some military friends also in kaua'i for drill
- Nibbles is still here... (and alive hehe)
- School starts on monday
alojerz reader... prolly might post again later after the wedding this evening...
| [ | .wednesday | ] [ | 7 Janurary 2003 | ] |
final fantasy X2 is getting interesting. i've noticed that when ever i play any final fantasy game, i tend to compare it to final fantasy 3 (US). i think that had the most awsome story line. materia, gunblades, runaway princesses, summoners, and dressspheres are awsome and all... but ff3 started it all. blah... ok... yes... i'm a game freak. but not too much of it. hehe.
ooh... check it. my brother's plaque came in at Razor. it's located at the top store on the lower right hand side. here's a pic:
pretty neat huh. it took forever and a half for them to make it but hey... it'll take only a lifetime till i'm reunited with my brother. hopefully then will i be happy again. nothing but more pain and more suffering has happened since we lost him. please... leave us alone.
tron and krystle came over to play video games. we ordered a pizza and cooked more chicken wings and watched pirates of the carribean. pretty awsome shiz. pretty awsome evening. although i've been sleeping late and waking early... damn. nasty feeling when i wake. grrr. alojerz reader
| [ | .sunday | ] [ | 4Janurary 2004 | ] |
(1st) spent new years my sister, juni's house in kalihi. it was pretty fun. we had a whole lotta stuff to eat... here...look at this.this is a new year and there's alot of changes that need to be made; friendships to rekindle; enemies to befriend; long lost loves to return. what ever the reason maybe... find it and do it!
i'm searching for truth and finding what the meaning of peace is. i have to find my jewel and my No. 1 and redo my B.I.O. my life is beginning to look like the milky way, having only one way in, like every heart finds happiness. it maybe destiny to take the next step and show me how dreams come true. this year i'll have the power and nobody but you can share your heart with me. but don't start now, because nothing's gonna change. this year... you'll have to listen to my heart, and find the feelings deep inside. i'll make a discovery and it'll always be beside you. i'll be the prince to give you that amazing kiss, and you can be my snow white. until everything settles down again, we can only do one thing... shine... shine, we are!
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(2nd) tin tin's bday party was awsome... dude... she was funny too. so was wienee, haha. lucky thing we got all the good parts on brad's new digi cam(corder). happy 21st bday! (*i still have to make your gift... don't work... it's on it's way*)
some songs that they played at the party reminded me of my brother. when he would just stay up at night to choreograph dance moves for them. i couldn't take it. so yeah, if you were there when i just walked off into the rain... that was why. i didn't want to ruin everyone's mood... so yeah. i walked off and thought about it a little. got sorta kinda soaked... but oh wellz. stupid me though, i was still using my coach fanny pack. *mentol ass*
(3rd) went shopping... picked me up some clothes. go me a shirt at American Eagle. got another shirt at This Is It. then a shirt pant set at Old Navy. my goodness... and to think... i paid only $31.24 out of everything. hehe. *shhh... secret*
me and tron were so anxious to play DDR that we bought the game along with two dance pads. haha. we bought a wireless pad and a regular plug in pad. the version we bought was DDRMAX2. it's pretty fun. lani, henry, and i played it all night. speaking of which, lani's leaving for vegas on sunday so wish her a happy and safe trip.
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note!!! the bbq is tomorrow night at my house... if you know me, or any one else that knows me... then you're invited. i honestly don't know how much ppl will be showing up, so i hope that there'll be enough food. when in doubt... bring your own meat! oh.... and if you were at tin tin's house when we were cleaning up but was too buzzed to remember... yes, there's a bbq at my house on the 4th of Jan... sunday. grill's fired up at 6pm... call me or florie aite.
alojerz reader.
