Haven, City of Violence Quotes

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We'll give you a raincheck for a whackin' later.

THE CAST:
Andrew C: Zack
Jim: El Seed
Sarah: Natasha (Collateral Damage)
Andrew F: Boris (Maurice)
Sara: Lei Feng
Amy: Monica (Princess)
Morgan: GM

THE QUOTES:

10/25/04

We fly to Italy. On Lei Feng's luck:
GM: And, Sara, there's a creepy old guy hitting on you. He wants to know what grade you're in.
Sara: I pretend I don't speak English.
GM: [rolls dice] Oh, yeah. He speaks Chinese.

On poetry:
GM: It was the kind of love you clean up with a mop and bucket.

Boris is arrested. On Boris' luck:
Andrew F: I'm gonna go share cells with Osama!

On Monica's reaction to Boris' luck:
Sarah: I send you a message that says: BORIS IN JAIL. WILL BE LATE.
Andrew C: And you sit there in the bathroom going [mimics hand to mouth, laughing hysterically].

On you can't fight your nature:
Monica: And every once in a while I flirt with the bodyguards, because that's the way I am.

On object lessons:
Boris: And they parade me through like, "Look! This is what happens when you fuck up."

On rescues, dignified:
GM: You've been, you know, ass-ended in a Maserati.

On ass-ending:
GM: You could be ass-ended in the trunk, but regardless.

On small pleasures:
Sara: My very existence is against the law! Ha ha!

On Boris' testicles:
Andrew F: When was the last time I actually used those things in the game?

On taking calls during sex:
Morgan: (as Monica) Sorry, honey, I gotta take this. No, don't stop. I can multi-task.

On disguises:
Andrew C: He looks just like Boris, except he's covered in black shoe polish! That's offensive!

On disguising Boris some more, because I really wanted to make him look like the Colonel:
Amy: He's a black Colonel Sanders!

On condoms:
Andrew C: That's probably my lightning reload. [Sticks hand out very fast]
GM: No, Andrew, that's versatile ammo.

On disguising Lei Feng:
Andrew C: I'll dress you. I got an eleven on my deceit roll. You look like Colonel Sanders too!

On crossovers:
Andrew F: [in Zack's hotel room] I check for traps.
Andrew C: The mini fridge explodes on you.

On pleasant memories of NPCs:
GM: (as Carla Santucci) I also know you're after that little mewling brat.
Andrew C: You mean Sonny?

On love:
Sarah: (to Andrew F) Wow, you were right like three times tonight. That's like a new record.

On rainchecks you don't want:
Andrew C: We'll give you a raincheck for a whackin' later.

On Zack's apartment, or one of them:
Andrew C: I just go there to drop off the eyeballs.

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