Haven, City of Violence Quotes

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Oh, look! A bag! There used to be cats in it. But no more!

THE CAST:
Andrew C: Zack
Jim: El Seed
Sarah: Natasha (Collateral Damage)
Andrew F: Boris (Maurice)
Sara: Lei Feng
Amy: Monica (Princess)
Morgan: GM

THE QUOTES:

9/6/04 and 9/9/04

On funnier out of context:
Amy: No, my tongue is good enough.

On keeping your priorities in order:
Andrew F: The house is mad. So it will probably go after Jack and Ass. It'll be a good night for quotes.

On standardized testing:
Jim: He was stupid enough to get past the initial exams!

On what it takes to kill the Oracle:
Andrew C: Anyone but Monica shoots me in the head, I die. That's written into my contract.

On stealing people's PR lies:
Jim: That fucker - I wrote that copy!

On collateral damage:
Sarah: The only person who can shoot my TV is me!
Andrew C: And that's only if she misses a mook.

On hearing impairments:
Sara said: There's also ailing children in there!
But we heard: There's also alien children in there!

On help from the peanut gallery:
GM: (as Ryuu) Monica, what do you do for a living?
Sara: Call Daddy.

On our reputation:
Amy: We have to. It's organized crime.
ALL: (various options on) Not the way we do it.

On smartasses:
GM: (as Thorn) I do have some good news, though.
Andrew F: I just saved lots of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.

On responses to the above:
Zack: I can shoot him if you'd like.
Amy: (as Zack) I won't even charge for it.

On Monica's godfather:
GM: He was the one who felt it was important for you to be a lady and to stay away from men. He ran a lot of the prostitution.

On maybe I wasn't so subtle:
Jim: Oh, look! A bag! There used to be cats in it. But no more!

On tangents:
Monica: I know. Jesus.
Sara: You know Jesus? Cool!
Andrew C: If Jesus is on the list, we definitely have to take Syrus. We can't kill Jesus!

On men:
GM/Morgan: But you didn't kiss it make it better.
Amy/Monica: I'll kiss it make it better.
GM/Morgan: Did he mention he got kicked in the junk?

On easy shots:
GM: The only guys allowed inside the boutique are gay.
Sarah: Well... El Seed?

On just plain funny:
GM: (as Sonny Carlucci) Those damn Russian mooks!

On mafia guys named Sonny (see the Godfather for reference):
Someone: Uncle Sonny, XYZ there.
GM: (as Sonny) That's cause I can't zip it up all the way.

On not really the case but funny nonetheless:
GM: (to Lei Feng after her perm) They wander up and talk to you. "Why do you look like a poodle?"

On how to annoy people Feng Shui style:
Andrew C: (in the style of "I'm not touching you" commercial) I'm not shooting you. I'm not shooting you.

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