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Magic Brownies

200g butter (margarine doesn't dissolve the THC as well)
200g unsweetened cooking chocolate
250g sugar
4 eggs
200g flour
splash vanilla extract
100g dark chocolate (normal kind)
1/4 of an ounce of hash (but more is more)

1. Over low heat, melt butter in saucepan.
2. Once butter is just slightly bubbling, mix in ground up hash and stir for 5-10 minutes, taking the pan off the heat every now and then to keep the butter from steaming too much.
3. Melt unsweetened chocolate into butter, stirring constantly.
4. When all chocolate is melted totally, splash a few drops of vanilla in. If it sizzles then it is hot enough so take it off the heat, if it doesn’t leave for 1-2 mins then take it off the heat.
5. Stir in the sugar little by little (so it doesn’t clump)
6. Once all the sugar is mixed in, beat the eggs and mix them in.
7. Add the flour stir it in at first and then use an electric mixer on LOW until the whole bit is smooth and no lumps or pockets of flour.
8. Break dark chocolate into smallish chunks, and stir in.
9. Pour mix into shallow pan (2-3cm), and pop in a medium heat oven for about 30-40min. Don’t time them. Check them occasionally and stick a knife into them, it should come out with a little brown on it.


Fruit Salad

I know what you're thinking, "fruit, isn't that like the healthy stuff?". Well ordinarily you'd be right but we've found a way to make they a bit more alcoholic...

Take 1kg of soft fruits of your choice (grapes, cherries, peach, plum, oranges, strawberries, whatever) and half a litre of the spirit of your choice (Vodka works best as it has no taste).

1. Cut the assorted fruits into pieces (even small fruit such as cherries and grapes) to ensures that the spirit is absorbed
2. Place the cut fruits in a large bowl
3. Pour over the spirit and stir the fruits around
4. Leave in a fridge to chill for 24 hours
5. SERVE AND GET PISSED!

If you feel that even this is too healthy and completely against standard teenage doctrine then you may want to try it wiv gummy bears or something like that (they're good too).