Game-Date: May 12th, 1859 Issue 2 World-Date: August 24th, 2003
(Election Update from 1/9/03 2:00 am est) - [NOTE: These numbers reflect the standings on th publishing day - See election page for current]] POPULATION: - Northern States: 37 - SOF: 6 - TP: 7 - UPP: 16 - IND: 10 - Southern States: 43 - Heart: 23 - SRP: 11 - CWP: 3 - IND: 7 - North: CA: 1 - CT: 1 - DE: 0 - DC: 0 - IL: 2 - IN: 2 - IA: 1 - KY: 2 - ME: 1 - MD: 3 - MA: 2 - MI: 1 - MN: 0 - SO: 2 - NH: 2 - NJ: 1 - NY: 7 - OH: 3 - OR: 2 - PA: 4 - RI: 0 - VT: 1 - WI: 1 - - South: AL: 4 - AR: 1 - FL: 1 - GA: 3 - KY: 4 - LA: 5 - MD: 1 - MS: 2 - MO: 1 - NC: 7 - SC: 2 - TN: 3 - TX: 3 - VA: 7 - - Territories: KS: 0 - NE: 0 - NM: 0 - OK: 0 - UT: 0 - WA: 0 -

UPP Leader Chafield
launches 'Call for Candidates'
at Cleveland Rally

Union Preservation Party Leader James Chafield addressed an enormous gathering of Ohio resi-dents last night in Cleve-land's packed Main Square. Ostensibly the gathering was to launch the UPP's campaign in the State where he has long made his home, and to announce his own candi-dacy for the Governorship. However after the deli-rious cheers from the Clevelanders at the announcement had died down, as usual Mister Chafield got down to the serious business of pre-paring the audience for the hard times ahead. "My fellow countrymen, the Union is under threat. Those who talk of peace and reconciliation with the rebellious South have my respect, but not I am afraid my confidence. We must, with heavy heart but firm resolve, prepare for the war to come. But at this dark time, it is more important than ever that every citizen of the Union, from east to west, countryside to city, feel" that he is a part of the process of choosing the leaders who will govern the supreme effort required to hold our great nation together." The crowd wildly applauded this sentiment. Banners mar-ked with the legend 'Chafield for President' and national flags made a sea of colour to complement the huge waves of noise from the assembled throng. "With this in mind, the UPP is now actively seeking previously Inde-pendent men of courage, integrity and conviction who are residents of the smaller States of our great country. Democracy is just as important to a Vermont farmer as a New York businessman. All those who are called to serve are as important as each other. That is, after all, the basis of our Union. One Nation, Under God, With Liberty and Justice For All." This time the roar from the crowd was seen to disturb wading birds on the far side of Lake Erie. "I undertake now to give funds and the full backing  of the UPP to any person wishing to offer themselves as candidate for any State as yet without a Guber-natorial Candidate. Our Party is a brave band of brothers with nothing but courage and love for the Union in their hearts - and we know that there are many more like us who have not yet joined our fraternity. So please, men of the Union. I appeal to your courage, and to your hearts. Step forward to serve your State and your Nation. Register yourselves with the UPP, and take your place in Congress in two weeks time alongside myself and my fellow future Governors of the Union Preservation Party.

by Carl Williams


Union Preservation Party
The Party of the County, of the Nation, of the UNION!

In these difficult times, where our country’s re-solve is being tested by disloyal rebel rousers, we as citizens need to think about who will lead us. The Union Preservation Party is the only party that is promoting the values needed to protect the people from a possible revolt. With the party platform promoting new blood fighting in our military and specifically calling for the support of the War Department, we need this type of ideology in our government. With our chunk of land that has become a cornerstone within a great nation, even here are those that wish to divide our union. Those that wish to secede from our country, say that it due to tyranny. Yet, those that are rattling the saber in the south seemed to be pushing their own ideology on others that wish to remain loyal to Old Glory. Although, with the cons-tant negotiations going on within the state houses and in the halls of Con-gress, we must begin to prepare for the worst. With this, the Union Preser-vation Party was formed with this preparation in mind. We must remind ourselves that 85 years ago, our grandfathers spilled blood so that we could form a nation. Now that this nation has passed laws to regulate a practice of slavery, using the rules set forth by the Consti-tution, those that disagree feel it is time to secede. Now those to the south of us use the terms such as patriots to describe them-selves in their traitorous stance toward the republic. There is no honor in quit-ting this democracy.  We know that the indivi-duals that deem it necessary to form their own country are of sound military mind. We fought together from the beginning. From Lexington to Chapultepec, we stood shoulder to shoulder with these fine men and fought for liberty. We were trained together at West Point and Annapolis. Now we stand ready to force them down as they revolt! I call to all fine citizens to join the UPP and let us prepare for the worse. Let us strengthen our resolve to preserve our great nation. This is the only true party to lead us through these troubled times. In the coming elections, vote the party of the republic, of the nation, of the UNION.

by Ben Rice

 

Mr. Schmitt goes to .... Springfield ?

With all of the Hurrah over speeches and rallies we hear of these days, you may not have noticed that one Mr. Bill Schmitt has recently left Washington and is rumored to again be headed out West. "gone south" some say. I don't know what he is up to, but whatever it is you can be sure it is something unex-pected. Here is a man who has fought in every War there is going all the way back to the BLADD skirmishes. And when he is in the mood he will go find a war if he has too. He has held just about every position the US has. Not long ago on a diplo-matic mission to Mexico to procure war wagons, the M exican Head of State CHALLANGED HIM TO A DUEL!!. hehe. We don't know what happened after that but with our beloved Mr. Schmitt, you can be sure it was something Unexpected.

by
W.W. Winfield
 





(see also ticker-tape
for last-minute updates)

A Letter to the Editor

 

Dear Editor,

I am writing to express my deepest and most profound support of the cause of the Union Preservation Party and give to the Party a modest composition for consideration as its anthem as you march forward to victory in the coming elections. It was my utmost and everlasting pleasure to have attended the magnificent inaugural rally in New York, truly a political event of greatest importance to our blessed Union. Chairman Chafield's speech was outstanding in its analysis of the ragtag scruffians who call themselves political parties and pretend to offer platforms to the wise citizens of the Union. War appears on the horizon, and they offer us pap! To the glorious UPP, I humbly offer:


Song of the Union Preservation Party!
(to the tune of Take Me Out To The Ballgame)

Election time is coming,
Voting is once again nigh.
Political parties of every stripe,
Could easily make a Union man sigh!

But if your heart's for preservation
And love for the Union supreme,
Then join us in the UPP
And preserve our founders' dream.

The UPP party platform,
So simple it might make you dance,
Support our fighting boys in blue
And give everyone a chance!

If your heart be in preservation
And love for the Union your cry,
With the UPP in the lead,
The Union's preserved on High!

W. S. Gilbert

Click to Karaoke
(16 KB download)


 

 

 

 

 

 

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1