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Game-Date: May
12th, 1859
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Issue 2
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World-Date: August 24th, 2003
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Union Preservation Party Leader James Chafield
addressed an enormous gathering of Ohio
resi-dents last night in Cleve-land's packed Main
Square. Ostensibly the gathering was to launch
the UPP's campaign in the State where he has
long made his home, and to announce his own
candi-dacy for the Governorship. However after
the deli-rious cheers from the Clevelanders at
the announcement had died down, as usual Mister
Chafield got down to the serious business of
pre-paring the audience for the hard times ahead.
"My fellow countrymen, the Union is under
threat. Those who talk of peace and
reconciliation with the rebellious South have my
respect, but not I am afraid my confidence. We
must, with heavy heart but firm resolve, prepare
for the war to come. But at this dark time, it
is more important than ever that every citizen
of the Union, from east to west, countryside to
city, feel" |
that he is a part of the process of choosing the
leaders who will govern the supreme effort
required to hold our great nation together." The
crowd wildly applauded this sentiment. Banners
mar-ked with the legend 'Chafield for President'
and national flags made a sea of colour to
complement the huge waves of noise from the
assembled throng. "With this in mind, the UPP is
now actively seeking previously Inde-pendent men
of courage, integrity and conviction who are
residents of the smaller States of our great
country. Democracy is just as important to a
Vermont farmer as a New York businessman. All
those who are called to serve are as important
as each other. That is, after all, the basis of
our Union. One Nation, Under God, With Liberty
and Justice For All." This time the roar from
the crowd was seen to
disturb wading birds on the far side of Lake
Erie. "I undertake
now to give funds and the full backing |
of the UPP to any person wishing to offer
themselves as candidate for any State as yet
without a Guber-natorial Candidate. Our Party is
a brave band of brothers with nothing but
courage and love for the Union in their hearts -
and we know that there are many more like us who
have not yet joined our fraternity. So please,
men of the Union. I appeal to your courage, and
to your hearts. Step forward to serve your State
and your Nation. Register yourselves with the
UPP, and take your place in Congress in two
weeks time alongside myself and my fellow future
Governors of the Union Preservation Party.
by
Carl Williams
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In these difficult times, where our country’s re-solve
is being tested by disloyal rebel rousers, we as
citizens need to think about who will lead us.
The Union Preservation Party is the only party
that is promoting the values needed to protect
the people from a possible revolt. With the
party platform promoting new blood fighting in
our military and specifically calling for the
support of the War Department, we need this type
of ideology in our government. With our chunk of
land that has become a cornerstone within a
great nation, even here are those that wish to
divide our union. Those that wish to secede from
our country, say that it due |
to tyranny. Yet, those that
are rattling the saber in the south seemed to be
pushing their own ideology
on others that wish to remain loyal to Old
Glory. Although, with the cons-tant
negotiations going on within the state houses
and in the halls of Con-gress,
we must begin to prepare for the worst. With
this, the Union Preser-vation
Party was formed with this preparation in mind.
We must remind ourselves that 85 years ago, our
grandfathers spilled blood so that we could form
a nation. Now that this nation has passed laws
to regulate a practice of slavery, using the
rules set forth by the Consti-tution,
those that disagree feel it is time to secede. |
Now those to the south of us use the terms
such as patriots to describe them-selves
in their traitorous stance toward the republic.
There is no honor in quit-ting this
democracy. We
know that the
indivi-duals that deem it necessary to form their own
country are of sound military mind. We fought
together from the beginning. From Lexington to Chapultepec, we stood shoulder to shoulder with
these fine men and fought for liberty. We were
trained together at West Point and Annapolis.
Now we stand ready to force them down as they
revolt! I call to all fine citizens to join the
UPP and let us prepare for the worse. Let us
strengthen our resolve to preserve our great
nation. This is the only true party to lead us
through these troubled times. In the coming
elections, vote the party of the republic, of
the nation, of the UNION.
by
Ben Rice |
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With all of the Hurrah over speeches and rallies
we hear of these days, you may not have noticed
that one Mr. Bill Schmitt has recently left
Washington and is rumored to again be headed out
West. "gone south" some say. I don't know what
he is up to, but whatever it is you can be sure
it is something unex-pected. Here is a man who
has fought in every War there is going all the
way back to the BLADD skirmishes. And when he |
is in the mood he will go find
a war if he has too. He has held just about every
position the US has. Not long ago on a
diplo-matic mission to Mexico to procure war
wagons, the M exican Head of State CHALLANGED
HIM TO A DUEL!!. hehe. We don't know what
happened after that but with our beloved Mr.
Schmitt, you can be sure it was something
Unexpected.
by W.W. Winfield
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(see also ticker-tape
for last-minute updates) |
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A Letter to the
Editor
Dear
Editor,
I am writing to express my deepest and most
profound support of the cause of the Union
Preservation Party and give to the Party a
modest composition for consideration as its
anthem as you march forward to victory in the
coming elections. It was my utmost and
everlasting pleasure to have attended the
magnificent inaugural rally in New York, truly a
political event of greatest importance to our
blessed Union. Chairman Chafield's speech was
outstanding in its analysis of the ragtag
scruffians who call themselves political parties
and pretend to offer platforms to the wise
citizens of the Union. War appears on the
horizon, and they offer us pap! To the glorious
UPP, I humbly offer:
Song of the Union
Preservation Party!
(to the tune of Take Me Out To The Ballgame) |
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Election time is coming,
Voting is once again
nigh.
Political parties of every stripe,
Could
easily make a Union man sigh!
But if your
heart's for preservation
And love for the Union
supreme,
Then join us in the UPP
And preserve
our founders' dream.
The UPP party platform,
So
simple it might make you dance,
Support our
fighting boys in blue
And give everyone a
chance!
If your heart be in preservation
And
love for the Union your cry,
With the UPP in the
lead,
The Union's preserved on High!
W. S.
Gilbert
Click to Karaoke
(16 KB download)
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