Our Own Book Reviews and Poems (2003-04)

Take a dangerous witch
And an enormous bat.
Add a big black rat.
Sprinkle with cheese and cornflakes.
A joyous witch
Cover with an apple and chocolate.
And wrap in plastic.

Gizzmo - Take a witch
And a cat.
Add a rat, another cat
Poison and a bubbly cauldron
Sprinkle with frog powder
A black cat, a rat and spider.
Cover with a newly made web
Wrap in squishy rat guts
And give to the cats.

Review of ;
Vampires by Martin Jenkins

-Homer

Leeches are everywhere, on the land and in the water. I skipped all about bats. I gave this book 10/10

Review by Raptor :The Bodyowners Handbook – Author : Nick Arnold

It is a great book , full of interesting facts, good guidelines, funny illustrations and gorey pictures. There are also good facts about life and they analyse the effects of being addicted to smoking ,drinking and taking drugs. It is all presented to you by Frankenstein. I would give this book 10/10.

Sam reviewed The Three Billy Goats Gruff
It was good when the troll went to eat up the the littlest goat because he said the other goat was bigger.

Jack reviewed Star Dragon . Author – Douglas Hill.

The Haunted Surfboard. Author – Anthony Masters. I thought it was excellent and I loked the haunted surfboard the best. Full marks again!

Mike Spoor. It was good. I liked it when he went to a new town. His mam got a new job as a hotel manager. It’s all about James’ imagination. I liked the part when the bear came in.

These books were reviewed by Spike

Little Yellow Digger – This book was very good because while Little Digger was busy , the man was asleep. Although it was made up “ fiction” I enjoyed the story. I gave this book eight marks out of ten .

Homer’s POEMS
Take a drink
And a fag.
Add a cat, a rat and a mat too. Sprinkle with fat.
Cover with tomatoes
Wrap in rat’s skin
To make this sandwich.

My Brothers
My brothers are so silly. They drink a cup of tea upsidedown,
And shoes on the wrong feet
They close the windows to get in
And they use the bathroom to eat their dinner.
I think they ARE silly!

Sukko’s Poems ;
Take a little devil
And a couple of witches.
Add a couple of warts , a big massive cauldron and a couple of rats.
Sprinkle with fairy dust and the brain of a dinosaur.
Cover with mouldy rats and wrap in the carcass of a man
To eat.

Take a rat
And a horse.
Add a smelly old spud and a sock full of hair.
Sprinkle with poitín.
Cover with crocodile skin,
Cook it, eat it and BURP!

Ninja’s Poems

Become an alien or a marsian
Add a spaceship or two.
Make a spaceport on your way
Grate with stardust and all kinds of things.
Blow up planets.
Cover with moondust
Wrap up meteors and bring them to earth
As gifts for people
And then destroy earth .

Devil by Gizzmo

The devil is evil.
He is so much like a rat.
He is sneaky and squeaky.
He will never die
Until the sky
Turns black
FOREVER
And everything turns evil.



One time he tried to communicate with me
But I stood and stared him down.
He shriveled .....to the ground

Jack’s Poem
Take a banger or two And an ugly witch. Add a few bats and a few monsters , with a skeleton
And a werewolf or two.
Sprinkle with pumpkins and some masks
And if you want some fun – add a few gremlins.
Cover with clouds
And wrap with dark slugs
To remember next year.

Recipe for a scary Hallow’een by RAPTOR .
Take a dead body
And a werewolf.
Add a howling wind, a dark night , scary noises and a creepy old house.
Sprinkle with some witchcraft and a group of kids, a curse and a creepy
Warning.
Cover with scary events
And wrap in bone-chilling mystery
To make your blood FREEZE.

SABU’S TALE ;

Once upon a time in the land of Ballyvoile
A monkey called Willy came to fly.
He jumped off a tree and broke his tail.
Then the postman came along with his mail.
He was in so much pain – He went insane.
So now he’s mad.
He doesn’t know where he lives.
He wears an underpants on his head
And a welly on his arm.
He shaved all his fur and he thinks he can fly.
But all he can do is jump and die.

THE RUNAWAY KID Sukko

GET DOWN TO BED YELLED A BOYS DAD FOR NO REASON. THIS BOY WAS ONLY TENYEARS OLD. HIS NAME WAS TOM BURNS. HIS PARENTS ALWAYS SAID TO THEIR FRIENDS THEY HAD NO KID. THEY ALWAYS LOCKED HIM IN A SHED WITH NO WINDOWS OR LIGHTS. HE WOULD GET HIS DINNER SOMETIMES. TOM HAD A DOG TOO HIS NAME IS LUKA.

*************** ONE DAY TOM’S PARENTS WENT OUT AND TOM WAS LOCKED IN THE SHED. LATER LUKA DUG A HOLE INTO THE SHED. TOM STARTED TO MAKE HIS WAY OUT THE HOLE. HE EVENTUALLY MADE HIS WAY OUT. HE GATHERED UP AS MUCH FOOD, CLOTHES AND MORE AS HE COULD.

THEN HE RAN AS FAST AS HE COULD. HE RAN FOR THE ORPHANAGE. THE ORPHANAGE WAS OUT OF TOWN IT WOULD TAKE TOM MORE THAT A WEEK TO GET THERE. SO FOR THE FIRST NIGHT HE TRIED TO STAY IN THE CHURCH.

BUT A WHILE LATER THE PRIEST CAUGHT HIM.

TOM WALKED ALONG THE STREET LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO STAY HE FOUND AN ABANDONED WAREHOUSE AND WENT IN. WHEN HE WENT IN HE FOUND IT WAS VERY SPOOKY….

AT ABOUT 11 O’CLOCK HE HEARD A NOISE. HE WENT TO SEE WHAT IT WAS. WHEN HE GOT UP HE SAW IT WAS ROBBERS TRADING FOR MONEY AND DRUGS?

THERE WAS LOTS OF BOXES IN THE WAREHOUSE. TOM MOVED HIS LEG AND ONE OF THE BOXES FELL. THEN ONE OF THE ROBBERS SPOTTED TOM AND SAID WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? TOM GOT UP AND RAN HE RAN TO THE DUMP. AT THE DUMP HE FOUND A BICYCLE AND TRAILER AT THE BACK THIS WOULD HELP HIM A LOT.

BUT WHAT TOM DIDN’T KNOW IS THAT THE ROBBERS HAD A CAR. THE COPS WERE CHECKING OUT THE WAREHOUSE THAT NIGHT. WHEN THEY WENT UP THE STAIRS THEY FOUND A BIRTH-CERT IT WAS TOMS. THEY WENT TO THE BURNS RESIDENCE AND ASKED DO YOU HAVE A CHILD? AND OF COURSE THEY SAID “NO”. THE POLICE OFFICER SAID WHATS THIS THEN. WHERE IS HE? SAID OFFICER DAMIAN. THEY SAID WE DON’T KNOW.

THE BURNS WERE BROUGHT INTO CUSTODY. THE COPS WENT LOOKING FOR TOM. WHEN TOM WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE THE DUMP THE ROBBERS SAW HIM. THEY TOOK HIM HOSTAGE AND BROUGHT HIM TO THEIR HIDEOUT. BUT LUCKY FOR TOM THE COPS KNEW WHERE THEIR HIDEOUT WAS. THE COPS WENT RIGHT INTO THE HIDEOUT. THEY SAID TO THE ROBBERS “YOU ARE SURROUNDED COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP”.

THE ROBBERS SAID “NO”. THEN THE ROBBERS SHOVED TOMS HEAD OUT THE WINDOW. WHILE THEY WERE DOING THAT SOME COPPERS SLIPPED IN THE BACK. “FREEZE” SAID DAMIEN. TOM RAN OUT THE DOOR BUT ONE OF THE COPS CAUGHT HIM. THE ROBBERS WERE QUICKLY BROUGHT BACK INTO JAIL. DAMIEN ASKED TOM WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY FROM HOME? TOM SAID BECAUSE I WAS ABUSED.

THE BURNS WERE ARRESTED. DAMIEN BRIUGHT TOM TO THE ORPGANAGE. TOM SAID THANKS AND BYE. DAMIEN EXPLAINED WHY HE HAD TO COME. TOM WENT IN THE FIRST PERSON TO GREET HIM WAS A BOY NAMED JOEY. TOM FELT SORRY FOR JOEY BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN IN THE ORPHANAGE SINCE HE WAS TWO AND DIDN’T KNOW HIS SECOND NAME.

TOM HAD FOUR BEST FRIENDS THERE THEIR NAMES WERE JOEY, MIKIE, DAMIEN AND MATHEW. THEN THERE WAS THREE BOYS EVER HATED FRANCAIS, SHANE AND DAVID.

TOM WAS ALWAYS FIGHTING WITH FRANCAIS. SO TOM HAD A GREAT UPPER CUT. BUT AS ALWAYS THERE WAS A PUNISHMENT. IT WAS STAY IN THE BASEMENT FOR A DAY WITHOUT FOOD. IN THE NIGHT TOM WOULD GO DOWNSTAIRS AND GET SWEETS FOR EVERYONE EVEN THE THREE HATED GUYS.

IF HE DIDN’T GET SWEETS FOR THEN THEY WOULD TELL. USUALLY THEY WOULD CALL HIM NAMES LIKE LOSER OR BREAKER. ONE DAY A NEW GIRL CAME INTO THE ORPHANAGE. HER NAME WAS CLAIRE DAVIDS. SHE HAD A REALLY NICE PERSONALITY. IT WAS COMING UP TO CHRISTMAS AND TOM GREW VERY LONELY. AT THIS TIME ALL TOMS FRIENDS WERE CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS WITH THEIR NEW FAMILIES. CLAIRE WAS THE ONLY FRIEND TOM HAD AT THE ORPHANAGE. FRANCAIS, SHANE AND DAVID WERE LEFT IN THE ORPHANAGE ASWELL. THE OWNER OF THE ORPHANAGE HAD DIED OF A SERIOUS ILLNESS CANCER. THE CHILDREN DID NOT WANT TO TELL ANYBODY BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID THAT THE NEXT OWNER WOULD BOSS THEM AROUND LIKE THE OTHER OWNER DID. TOM AND CLAIRE WERE VERY SCARED. FRANCAIS, SHANE AND DAVID WERE SCARED BUT THEY WERE JUST AFRAID TO SHOW IT. AT ABOUT 11 AT NIGHT THEY HEARD SOMETHING. TOM ACTING THE BIG MAN WENT TO SEE WHAT IT WAS. IT WAS THE ROBBERS TOM QUICKLY RAN OUTSIDE.

CLAIRE SAID LOUDLY WHAT IS IT TOM. TOM SAID NOTHING. THE ROBBERS QUICKLY RAN OUT AND CAUGHT CLAIRE AND THE OTHER GUYS. TOM HAD A IDEA HE RECEIVED TWO BIG ROCKS AND GOT UP ON THE ROOF.

ONE OF THE ROBBERS WENT OUT TO SEE WHAT IT WAS. THE MINUTE HE CAME OUT TOM THREW ONE OF THE STONES AT HIM HE SURELY WAS KNOCKED OUT. TOM GOT DOWN TO SEE THE ROBBER TOM RECOGNIZED HIM IT WAAS THE ROBBER HE AHD SEEN INTHE WAREHOUSE. TOM SAID TO HIMSELF IF I GET CAUGHT I WILL REALLY BE IN TROUBLE. TOM THOUGHT FOR A SECOND WAIT THEY GOT ARRESTED THEY MUST HAVE GOT AWAY. TOM GRABBED A STICK HE SAID HE WOULD KNOCK THE OTHER ONE OUT BUT HE THOUGHT IT WAS DANGEROUS. HE TOLD THE LADS AND CLAIRE JUMP OUT THE WINDOW.

SO THEY DID. THEY HOPPED THE FENCE BESIDE THE ORPHANAGE. THEY RAN UNTIL THEY FOUND SOME ROAD. AN HOUR LATER THEY WERE IN THE NEAREST TOWN.

THEY WENT UP TO A HOUSE AND SAID PLEASE MAM CAN WE STAY HERE FOR A COUPLE OF NIGHTS. SHE RECOGNIZED THEM FROM THE NEWSPAPER SHE SAID OK. THE NEXT DAY THEY WENT TO SCHOOL NOBODY LIKED THEM BUT THE BUS DRIVER STEPHEN. STEPHEN BROUGHT THEM HOME THEY WENT INSIDE AHA. THE BUS DRIVER HEARD THE SCREAM HE RAN INSIDE MAM WAS TIED TO THE CHAIR. THE ROBBERS SLOWLY WALKED OUT EVERYONE STANDING IN THE ROOM. BANG BANG BANG THE ROBBERS SHOT TOM, MAM AND THE BUS DRIVER AND LEFT THE REST ONE ROBBER SAID WE FINALLY GOT HIM. ON TOMS EPITAPH WAS WRITTEN

ANIMAL WARS written by Giggs and Chelski

ONE DAY TREV THE ALIEN WAS SPYING ON HIS FRIEND FLUFFY THE HAMSTER. THEN FLUFFY STARTED TO WALK UP TO THE WALL, WHEN SUDDENLY TREV’S EYE SHOT OUT. FLUFFY FELL BACK AND NEARLY SQUISHED GARY THE SLUG. THEN GARY WENT OFF TO HIS COUSIN NIGEL. NEXT DAY TREV WAS STANDING IN THE SEA WHEN FLUFFY GAVE HIM A WICKED FRIGHT AND HE FELL IN AND HIT PRECIOUS THE PIRANHA ON THE HEAD. THEN PRECIOUS BIT HIM! THAT NIGHT THEY BOTH MADE A PLAN(FLUFFY AND TREV). THE NEXT MORNING THEY BOTH WENT TO FRANK THE SPORTS-TUTLE AND TOLD HIM TO FIRE TENNIS BALLS AT PRECIOUS. THAT DAY FRANK WENT TO THE BEACH AND FIRED THE BALLS AT HIM. BUT PRECIOUS HAD HIS OWN PLAN! HE FIRED THEM BACK! NEXT DAY THEY MET GARY AND NIGEL THE COUSIN SLUGS. THEY ASKED PRECIOUS FOR A RACE. IF PRECIOUS LOST HE WOULD HAVE TO FORGIVE THEM, AND GARY AND NIGEL WOULD WIN THE CUP. THEY STARTED THE RACE. IT WAS CLOSE, BUT GARY AND NIGEL WON! THEY LIFED THE CUP, PRECIOUS FORGAVE TREV AND FRANK, AND THAT WAS THE END OF THE STORY.

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