3 mars 2000 *god i feel like hell tonight*
i'm sick and i keep throwing up... i've been throwing up for the past 4 hrs. and i think i'm going to throw up again.  i have an admissions interview at george mason university tommorrow... i can't do anything... i feel really sick...

11 mars 2000  *hey boy hey girl superstar dj here we go*
bridget, nassar and i went out to georgetown last night.  it was his day off, and i was itching to get out, so i called him and he came over and picked me up.  my mum asked, "nina, where are you going?" and i said, "OUT!!!" and nassar and i took off!  we went to his house and chilled for a while.  we talked about stuff and we played some card games.  i tried to teach him how to play speed, but he didn't quite understand, and i tried to show him.  i gave up after 4 games of speed.  he got out his absolut, and he got out some mountain dew and mixed it.  we drank some, and i curled up next to him in his bed.  i was giggly and we talked some more.  he drew and talked about going to sting at nation or something and asked me to come along, but then he remember i'm not 19.  it got quiet and i started thinking to myself.  i told him that steffi thought i was cracking.  and he asked why she thought that.  so i told him how shitty i had been feeling lately and what's been going on with me and my family.  and i finally told him how i felt about him and said that i porbably wouldn't be telling him all this if i was sober.  he told me that he really likes me, and that i'm a good person inside.  and that he had already kind of figured that out.  he said that he if he was to go out with me, he'd hurt me and he doesn't want that.  he told me that all the relationships his been in since jessica generally don't work out because of him.  he doesn't know why he fucks them up, and he's deoressed and bitter, and way too forgiving.  he doesn't know why i stay and hang around him since he's the bad perosn and he's the good one.  i really didn't know what to say after that.  bridget called and broke the silence, and he figured out something with her, and we left.  we drove around DC for a while and halfway though DC bridhet and i decided that we wanted to go to Georgetown.  so we drove around some more and it quickly turned into "let's see how many illegal u-turns nassar can do in DC and in one night without getting caught" night.   we passed through Rosslyn, and he missed the turn that takes to the bridge that goes over to Georgetown.  so we walked around Georgetown for a really long time, and we went to the stairs in the exorcist and ran up them.  i got sick of my skirt, and zipped off the bottom half of it.  and then i ran up the stairs.  we all alked through the park, and nassar was talking about hanging out in the sewers and getting drunk with a bunch of peeps and all those gigantic rats that would hide out and live there.  he said that he saw one about the size of a small cat, and that he was afriad of rats because of it.  so for the rest of the night, bridget and i cracked on him so hard, and i kept saying that the rats were going to come out and eat him.  we walked up the street again, and we all talked about daph and how she gets really pressed over her boyfriends and ditches her friends and spends all her time with them.  and then when they break up, she gets really sad and depressed and avoids all of her friends, and then a month after that, she expects us to pick up where she left off.  then a really souped up old beetle passed by, and he started saying, "dude, you can pimp in a bug.  if you can soup up anything, then i guess you can pimp in anything, especially a bug."  bridget laughed and said, "you can't pimp in a bug!  they're so little, and they're really cute."  i said, "what in the world are you thinking?  nassar, think about it.  a chick's really going to come up to you and say, 'wow, i just love your bug.  it's so sexy!'"  he said, "um... k.  hell, if i souped up my car, i could pimp in it!"  bridget and i laughed even harder.  we got bored and we started walking towards the car.   when we were about to cross the street, there was this guy in a brown monk's robe with a business suit underneath.  he was wearing a glownecklace on his head, and had headphones wrapped around his neck.  he went to every street corner and started singing very loudly (so you could hear him from 2 blocks away) "PEACE!!!  LOVE!!!"  we were goig to cross the street to get to the car, but nassar wanted to see what else the guy would do.  he got stopped by some people who asked them questions and he said a lot of mumbo jumbo.  nassar left, we crossed the street and got into the car.  we left Georgetown around 1am.  we drove around some more, and ended u driving through rosslyn, falls church, and alexandria.   bridget fell asleep in the car, and nassar and i talked some more.  he told me that he always feels really bad about fucking me afterwards because he feels like he's using me.  and i told him, "well, you get what you want, i get what i want, and everyone's happy."  and he said, "i still feel pretty bad about it cause after we started having sex, we never really hung out anymore.  and this is the first time in a really really long time that we've just hung out and not had sex.  there should be more to us than just having sex."  o woke bridget up and we dropped her off.  then we started talking about how much shit i was going to get into when i got home.  i basically said, "i'm going to be surprised if the cops aren't at my house when i get home, " and he said, "well, if the cops are at your house, i'm dropping you off at the coner because i'm not about to get locked up for statutory rape, which i didn't even do tonight."  we laughed really hard about that one.  i got home around 2 am and before i got out of the car, he kissed me goodnight.  so last night was a good night, and worth every bit of the trouble i got myself into.  :-)

21 mars 2000 *here we go again, i'm on my own*
from nassar to me:
"i have tuesday and thrusday off, but thursday is better for me cause i have to be somewhere tuesday during the day, and i might end up hanging out with this new guy from work,  hopefully he's going to blaze me up!  anyway, i'm gonna go take someone's viriginity, and probably tip some cows after.  see ya."
yay.  after all that talking, all i get out of it is this?  what is wrong with this boy?  *sigh*  i think i will become a bitter old cat lady after all... on the bright side, AIMEE'S COMING HOME TO VISIT THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!  :-)  ANYWAYS, nina's ging to sleep.  goodnight.

31 mars 2000 *buggah!*
nassar got a new girlfriend.  i'm at home puking up my guts again.  this is not good.  not good at all.

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