today was a bad day. woke up and had really bad cramps; there weren't any tampons left because someone's been using them and it's been pissing me off; my dad bought the really icky generic brand that hurt like a bitch; didn't get to touch base with mrs. schultz so i couldn't call mrs. chandler and get everything straightened out @ west springfield high skool because mrs. schultz was in a bunch of meetings; got bitched @ by madame mcconnaughey for falling asleep during review for the french 3 exam; fell asleep while taking my chapter 7 french test, which i know i failed miserably; got sick after lunch and threw up but couldn't go home; fell asleep during english; robert was being an ass on the bus and wouldn't get out of my seat so joe and i had to sit on him; i didn't get an e-mail back from pierce and i wish he was here or at least talk to him on the phone or something; hannah the skinny bitch sister who's being unusually nice lately wouldn't give me some of her godiva chocolate... and the list continues... last night was pretty kool though. pierce had some thunderbird when he came and picked keith, dan, and me up. raced katelyn's mum back to their house. pierce and i were cuddling on their front porch. katelyn's mum told us that we looked like we're in love or something and asked if we were. pierce said, "more like in lust." and i was thinking, "no, just extremely infatuated." drove keith home. went to my house, was about 11:30pm. surprised sara. pierce and i laughed and we chatted and cuddled. i told pierce that i wasn't going to sleep with him, and i suppose he's okay with that. that's like the last thing i need right now. sex. that's all they ever want me for anyways, and i'd like to see if he sticks around or not. sex makes everything complicated and sometimes you confuse it with love when it's not. anyways, got lectured by my dad until 1 am. going out with pierce tomorrow night. :-)
5 juin 2000 *your skin makes me cry*
i couldn't go to six flags with keith and dan and the church because i got home @ 12:30 or something friday night. friday night was one of those weird nights. i was talking to keith and kieth told me, "nina, you used to really kool to hang out with and now you'rre just irritating. what happened?" i started to cry and keith called pierce on three-way, and i wasn't talking, so pierce was trying to get me to talk, but i was still crying and sulking. pierce had to get off the phone and close the shop. keith made amends with me, and i sulked a bit more before i got over it. keith picked me up, and we went to dan and pierce's. pierce, keith, and i went to safeway to get some hamburger buns for dinner, and it started to pour outside. pierce and i kept kissing in the rain, keith wanted to go back to the house, and after some pestering, pierce and i got into the van and went back. by that tie, it started to hail; pierce and keith were afriad to get out of the car. i got up out of the van and walked into the house. pierce's mum looked out and said, "my poor baby! he's stuck in the car!" she motioned for them to come inside and pierce and keith refused. eventually, i got exasperated, and just stormed out of the house, opened the door to the van, and dragged pierce out of the driver's seat. that got keith out of the car, and we all dried off and ate dinner. after dinner, pierce, dan, kieth and i piled up in the van; we drove around for a while and discussed where we're going to go. we decided on georgetown, and i had a vague idea how to get there. dan started arguing with me, and pierce got extremely irate and pulled over. he yelled at dan and told him he could get out of the van and start walking home. everyone got really quiet. i almost cried and in my head i kept bitching at myself. dan didn't get out of the car, but everyone was silent. we drove past rosslyn and went back to springfield. we stopped by jen's house and keith, dan and pierce met jen. pierce and i made out in the back of the van, while jen, keith and dan were messing with each other. jen had to go inside, and we went to huntsman lake. we drank some, but mostly, we just sat around and talked. i told him about my childhood and what has happened to me so far, and he talked a bit about himself. he told me that he never saw himself as a father, just someone who died for a just cause. and we talked about what we're going to do when he goes off to james madison in august. i told him that one of the weekends that keith and i are probably coming down is the weekend my birthday's on. he said that he'd probably drive up that weekend. saturday, pierce came and picked me up after he dropped me off. that was around 9 am. we hung out all day saturday, and his mum got to know me a bit better. we went to a yard sale next door and i bought a little jar for 50 cents. his mummy talked to me some and asked me some questions. and then she left. we watched american pie and kissed throughout the entire movie. i followed him to his intel class, which was boring, but i payed attention some. pierce was too busy being distracted by me. pierce and i helped his dad out around the house some, and his mummy had a friend over. his mummy and her friend started talking to me in korean and asking me questions about me and pierce. mummy's friend tried to get pierce to come and talk to her, and she kept saying, "come here! you're so cute and i want to talk to you!" pierce kept running away. he later told me that the only people who are allowed to say that he's cute is his mummy and me. everyone else who says that is crazy and they scare him. he's so shy... aw... pierce and i cuddled some more and around 8:30, he took me home. no one was at my house, so we went up to my room and messed around. it got a bit late, so he left. sunday, he came and picked me up for church and we snuggled for a little while before church started. found keith, went to service. keith, dan, pierce and i got kicked out. went to senior lunch, etc. and that was kool. we picked up aimee (keith's ex, not my aimee), went back to pierce's house. i climbed trees and later helped pierce and his dad put up a tarp. and after all that, we all sat around with his dad and talked. everyone else disappeared and there was glass on the ground. i was walking around barefoot, and i pointed out the glass. pierce picked me up and carried me to the the garage. and while everyone else was in the van, pierce and i were in the kitchen with his mummy and we were talking about kids. pierce's mummy said that she wanted two boys and she got two boys. and pierce said that he wanted his first child to be a boy, second child a girl, and after that, he didn't care. he wants it that way so whenever the girl has a boyfriend, the older brother can beat up on her boyfriend. then we went out into the garage and we hugged and snuggled in the garage. and he said something and i said to him, "who says i'm having your kids?" he looked at me and he said, "i have very fond hopes." and then we dropped aimee off... we drove around dan and pierce's neighborhood, trying to figure out where this street would lead to and followed it all the way down. we found a playground that was part of Canterbury Woods School. we walked around and went to the playground. i went on the swings and they asked me to play with them and i said, "no! i don't play with boys! boys are icky!" and keith said, "well, NINA'S ICKY!" i kept swinging. i got off the swings because pierce gave permission to keith to yank me off the swings and i didn't want to get hurt. i still didn't want to play monster, and i wasn't paying attention when pierce was coming after me, and he ended up pulling off something and i got mad. i chased pierce around and then kieth came around and saiid that he was the monster now and he pulled me off the stairs and tagged me. later on, i saw keith on the ground, so i tagged him. and then i quit. we dropped keith off around 6 pm, went back to the house. chased pierce around the house for a little while, and i ended up sitting on him in the living room. dinner time rolled around, and we ate chicken and rice. dan, pierce and i talked about how long braddock rd is and where we'd end up if we just kept driving on it. pierce's dad told pierce "no more kissing in the basement." pierce and his dad watched mighty ducks, and i went upstairs to play freecell. pierce followed me upstairs a bit later, and dan was playing a pc game. he felt me up and kissed me and kept looking into my eyes (hehehe, among other things...), and i wanted to push him onto the floor and fuck his brains out. but i pushed him away; it was getting a bit to torrid and i really don't want to fuck this up. sex ruins things... anyways, we kept kissing me, and i kept going and then suddenly stopping... i didn't know what else to do. i was a bit freaked out. about 8:30, we left the house, and when we got into the car, he asked me what was wrong, and i said it in a stammering, jumbly way. he didn't hear me, which was kind of good. i didn't talk the whole way home. he held my hand, and he didn't say a word either. we got to my house and he asked me what i was saying, and i basically asked him to slow things down a bit because things were moving along so fast and it was too soon. he said okay and we kissed each other goodnight. he left, i went inside. my aimee called, and i called her back. we chatted for a little bit, and then she had to go. i went to sleep after that. for right now, i'm grounded. :-) nothing happened today other than pierce and i went to tj for hannah's spring sports reception. pierce and i ran off and we wandered around the skool for a little bit. we ended up in a stairwell, and i sat on top of a desk. we talked for a little while and he kissed me. then we went to go look for my mum. my mummy left us behind and we got stranded, so pierce had to call his dad to come pick us up since pierce didn't have the car. so that's it.
8 juin 2000 *angry little me*
last night, i had to pickup my backpack @ church because i had left it at the fisher's. my mummy couldn't drive me, so she asked me to call pierce, which i did. we went and picked it up and then we went back to my house and hung out for a little while. my dad was in the shower, and when he got out, he just glanced over at us and thought nothing of it for a little while. i was chasing pierce around the living room and poking him and he was poking me. we ended up sitting on my couch and me showing him my baby pics. ten minutes later, my dad comes down and starts screaming at me, wanting me to stop holding hands with pierce, fold all the laundry downstairs, wash the dishes, and yelling at pierce to go home. so i walk him to the car, and i hug and kiss him goodnight. my dad runs out and starts screaming at me again, this time because he wants me to go inside. he asks me what i was doing out there with pierce, and i said nothing. he grabs my cheek and pinches it really hard and starts shaking me. "you call that nothing? you were hugging him! that's something!" and he starts going off and yelling some more... "i'm kicking you out of my house right after graduation! all you do is sleep! you don't do anything around the house!" that is total bullshit because i do everything. he continued screaming and yelling, "what do you really do every weekend when you go out with pierce, dan, and keith? i know you're screwing them all and you're probably doing drugs too! people who don't go to skool and get a job don't live in my house. i want you out of my house now!" and then he left. i went downstairs and started to fold the laundry, and maybe five minutes later, i started to cry. i had done nothing wrong and i was being punished. anyways, i really should start looking for another place to live. just long enough for me to find a job, have enough money to pay rent, and stuff. the only sensible place i can think of is either my aunt, which is right next to pierce's and dan's, or aimee's, but aimee's not home at the moment. damn. today, pierce is off with his dad @ james madison university, registering, etc. he didn't seem too happy to spend the entire day with his dad. hahaha! poor pierce... aww... anyways, pierce's got the sweetest dimples... my horoscope for today says to seriously consider seriously questions relating to marriage. how interesting...
9 juin 2000 *rain, wash away my sorrow, take away my pain*
pierce was upset earlier because he thought i was going to break up him. all this because i was talking to him earlier this morning when i was on aohell @ skool during my active physics class and i was trying to warn him that i don't know how to have a stable relationship and there will be a lot of ups and downs. that that was what happened to tom and me because i couldn't handle him being so nice to me, and i'm afraid of the fact that i might push pierce away worse than i did tom. i've never had it this good; it's a fully functioning, stable relationship, pierce is a really great guy who's really sweet and senstive and caring. and me, i'm the fucked up little whore-girl. it's like this: "hm... things are going really well-- it's too perfect. something's wrong with this picture. i wonder what i can do to fuck this up and see if he stays or not." he's way too good for me, and i don't know why he sticks around. what a predicament i'm in-- usually it's the other way around. not used to this, not at all. i don't know why he likes me, other than i'm pretty... he thinks everything i say and do is fascinating, and just hearing me ramble makes him happy. and i'm content just snuggling up next to him and taking in everything. it's like, i see him and the whole world disappears (except when keith and dan are there because they're hard to ignore.) and it's just us. and there's something i said, but that's between me and kieth. in time, i will reveal. so i had to call pierce today, and set things straight, and everything's back to normal, somewhat. he came and saw me today. he's at my house a lot now, come to think of it. and they way he dotes on me, it's really cute. he's my baby... (okay, he's actually his mummy's, and i'm not about to get my ass kicked by my boyfriend's mummy, whom i desperately need to be on good terms with.) the very thought of me breaking up with pierce is very very silly. i'm never letting go; it should be quite obvious by now. and he knows he's whipped-- he said that he's always been a sucker for a pretty girl... that made me smile. right now, i'm hurting somewhat. i don't know why. probably just another mood swing. anyways, he came over tonight with keith and dan, and i took his keys, went inside. then i came back out, and sent him looking all around my living room, kitchen, and dining room looking for them, when they were in my pocket. i got surrounded, and pierce grabbed my arms and spread them out against my mum's minivan. he inched in closer to me, and he tried to kiss me, but i kept dodging. keith and dan tried to hotwire my station wagon, then the minivan, but it didn't work. so they got really mad, and threatened to beat me up if i didn't give up the keys. so i handed pierce the keys, and he asked, "no kiss?" i had a sly grin.... "at least a hug?" he asked. i leaned over, hugged him and kissed him, and he stood there with his eyes closed, expecting (or hoping) i'd kiss him again, which i did, then i pushed him away, grinned, and told him to go away before i called the cops. they drove off.
12 juin 2000 *into the sea, you and me*
pierce and i hung out with kate and a bunch of her friends on saturday at the fairfax fair. we went out to dinner at spartan's, then we went cosmic bowling. we learned pretty quickly that none of us could bowl. and i coudn't find a 8/9 lbs. ball, and 12 was too was too much and the holes were too big. anyways, we went to friendly's afterward, but it was closed, so we went to the silver diner and pierce kept trying to buy me stuff, but i wasn't too kool with it because he had spent so much money on me that day. he ended up buying me a milkshake, which i drank anyway because it would be silly if he ordered something and i didn't take it. at this point, i don't know what to do... agh... oh well.
30 juin 2000 *back from hiatus*
june 16- west springfield's prom. everything before we actually got there was pretty kool. i flipped out a bit because the limo was late and the florist forgot to give me pins. kate, dave, pierce, and i ate dinner @ the serbian crown. i had filet mignon and asparagus in hollandaise sauce. pierce ordered the rabbit, but they were fresh out of rabbit, so if i remember correctly, he ended up ordering the boar. ewww.... we stopped by starbucks on the way because we had about an hour or two to kill. the place where west springfield's was at, the reston sheraton, sucked heavily. they had the senior slide show right smack in the middle of prom, andkate wanted to go because she was extremely agitated with dave and she was uncomfy in the dress she was wearing. kate and dave fought for most, if not all, of the night. dave dropped pierce and me off at my house, and then pierce and i took off to wherever, which turned out to be huntsman lake. i was cold, so i put on pierce's jacket. we talked for a while, and i fell asleep. pierce watched me sleep for a little while, until an alarm went off in my head that woke me up and told me that it was almost sunrise and i had to get home. he dropped me off, and that was the end of that. although i must say that pierce looked damn good-- he looked so yummy and i wanted to eat him all up. june 17- went to go see the cure with omar, zulaikha (omar's older sister), and zulaikha's friend. most of the songs they played sucked, and they were off the new album. omar and i decided to screw our left center, overpirced, practically on the lawn seats, and we ended up finding one empty seat in the front. omar and i decided to wing it from there and try to make it as non-suspicious as possible. this bitch lady that was working there got me paranoid because she was checking everybody's ticket. so omar and i got up and took our "assigned" seats. june 20- GRADUATION! i ran about 45 minutes late because my mum got lost and she wouldn't listen to me on how to get there. eventually, we ended up on the parkway, but my mum, not being the sharpest tool in the shed, decided to go straight on the parkway because "every road leads to george mason". after much screaming and her saying a bunch of things like, "what the point of you graduating? you're a fuck up anyways; don't expect to come home tonight.", she finally listened to me and i got there bawling. i found laura and i just broke down again. then i found kate and kate and i started to cry all over again. then i remembered, "shit, i'm at the very front of the line! i have to run!" got screamed at by mr. mckinney for having a purse. got to my place in line, calmed down. the guy sitting next to me got me to smile and laugh a little. got sick at the all-night grad party (i wasn't feeling well to begin with, but this made it worse.) and tom, laura, and i left at 4:30 am. june 21- keith's graduation. saw gus, chris sikorra, and avi graduate too. also one month for me and pierce. was somewhat upset because he didn't remember the guys were going off to hit on dawn, keith's new favorite person/waitress. pierce noticed something was wrong, and i tried to play if off. aimee was being a bitch. pierce and i went out to denny's, but never really made inside. we played in the rain instead. got home at around 3 am. pierce and i had been staying out until about 3 am every night since skool officially ended for me on the 15th. june 24 to june 30- senior beach week @ duck, north carolina. went with my church. stayed up until 4:30-5 am every night/morning, woke up again @ 2:30. went mini-golf, played risk, keith attempted to teach me pool. ate well, stayed somewhat isolated. very kool. got home early because of my mum-- we were supposed to leave today, but hannah and sara said that we're leaving on the 3rd.