Top10anticatSp01

Teddy's Terrific Top 10

    TEDDY'S TERRIFIC TOP 10 LISTS

    � Best things about being old as dirt

    � Best things about being rescued

    � Ways to compensate for never going outside

    � Things we'll miss in the good ol USA

    � Things to refrain from doing in the presence
        of the Queen

    � Signs the USA gov't is anti-cat

    � Signs it is a freezing winter in Denmark

    � New Year�s Resolutions

    � Ways to know Spring has sprung

   � Things that make our summer bustle

   � Things to watch for on a transatlantic flight

    � The best things about living in a basement

The vet told Mom that when we moved, she should lock us inside until we got used to our surroundings. It feels like a life sentence in prison! But we cats have found ways to make the time pass. Here�s Teddy�s Top 10 List of ways to compensate for never being allowed outside:

10. Use Mom�s pants leg as a substitute for claw-sharpening tree bark.

9. Bite holes in all the plastic bottles of spring water. The drip-drip-drip of droplets is a sweet reminder of a natural babbling brook.

8. Who needs real grass when inside there�s the wonderful green polyester shag carpet? The synthetic tufts of make for a great digestive, plus there�s left-over yummies from food spills when Marlowe jumps on the table and knocks the bowl of chips over.

7. Scale every curtain in the house several times a day to maintain tree climbing skills. Drapery cords are marvelous to repel down. But watch out for nasty rope burns on sensitive body parts.

6. Pass the hours of cabin fever devising plots for escape. Tunnels, shredded window screens and chimneys are good get-away points. Try long, try hard and try continuously.

5. Choose a favorite sleeping spot in Mommy�s lingerie drawer, and let her know how happy you are to be inside from the grimy outdoors by purring until you drool while executing double-time kneading on her $12 pantyhose.

4. Keep hunting skills fine-tuned by stalking bugs in the kitchen.

3. Rip open the vacuum cleaner bag and roll in the dust and stuff. It�s just like rolling in the dirt outside ... sort of.

2. In the middle of the night, chew off Mom�s toenails just to prove a point.

Drum roll please!

1. Kick all of the sand out of the litter box, flip on the overhead lights and imagine you�re on a Maui beach!

"Ways to compensate for being locked inside"

             HEY CATS!

Submit your own Top 10 Lists
and get them published at
Pawprints Newslitter.

   Here's How:
   1) Pick a topic (keep it clean, although
       dog bashing is acceptable)

   2) Write your top 10 things. Short and
        sweet is best. Your doesn't have
        to be funny, although don't hesitate
        to let your superior wits shine!

   3) Send your list to
       [email protected]. If you
       have a photo, send that, too! We'll
       publish it with your list.

   4) Teddy will review your list and post it
       on the Pawprints Newslitter site. He'll
       even send you an e-mail telling you
       when it's posted.