Top10anticatSp01

Teddy's Terrific Top 10

    TEDDY'S TERRIFIC TOP 10 LISTS

    � Best things about being old as dirt

    � Best things about being rescued

    � Ways to compensate for never going outside

    � Things we'll miss in the good ol USA

    � Things to refrain from doing in the presence
        of the Queen

    � Signs the USA gov't is anti-cat

    � Signs it is a freezing winter in Denmark

    � New Year�s Resolutions

    � Ways to know Spring has sprung

   � Things that make our summer bustle

   � Things to watch for on a transatlantic flight

    � The best things about living in a basement

We moved from California to Denmark in October of 1999. It was a very scary flight for us, but the nice people on KLM made it as comfy as possible. In Amsterdam, they even fed us and cleaned our crates and cuddled with us (we loved the funny accents).

We learned a lot during our flight to Denmark (sheesh, we had enough time to memorize a dictionary). Here's some advise for travelers. You better keep an eye out for these things ....

1. Video cameras mounted in the plane's litter box to make sure smuggled catnip isn't stuck in a secret oriface.

2. Tail spins. Although it's fun to chase your tail at home, it's not recommended at a 33,000 foot elevation.

3. Pretzels served on the flight. There's enough preservatives in those snacks to choke a horse.

4. In-flight magazines. Never read the magazine before watching the movies. Then you won't be disappointed to learn the flights to everywhere else in the world other than where you are going are showing much better flicks than the ones you must watch aboard your flight.

5. Stewardesses' fannies seem to have a special interest for the male human travelers. They especially were interested in them when they are in an aisle seat and the person next to them by the window asks the stewardess to lean across to help adjust the sound on his headset or lower his eating tray.

6. Clear liquid served in small glasses. Those dutch are really clever and their water looks exactly like schnapps and vice versa.

7. Size. Size does matter and the bigger the travel container, the larger the animal - with corresponding teeth - inside. Be careful who you call a peanut brain, it may be a jumbo dumbo.

8. Don't look down.

9. It's true. chickens do fly. Why else do they put cockpits on planes?

10. Two words: "emergency exits"

11. Advice for Jessie-the-dog: Besides leaning into curves while in transport, it also is advisable to sit on take-off and lay down and hang on during landings.

"Things to watch for on a transatlantic flight"

             HEY CATS!

Submit your own Top 10 Lists
and get them published at
Pawprints Newslitter.

   Here's How:
   1) Pick a topic (keep it clean, although
       dog bashing is acceptable)

   2) Write your top 10 things. Short and
        sweet is best. Your doesn't have
        to be funny, although don't hesitate
        to let your superior wits shine!

   3) Send your list to
       [email protected]. If you
       have a photo, send that, too! We'll
       publish it with your list.

   4) Teddy will review your list and post it
       on the Pawprints Newslitter site. He'll
       even send you an e-mail telling you
       when it's posted.