The blight storms of Red Mountain were blowing more calmly than usual that day. Inside of Citadel Dagoth the random piles had been sorted into piles depending on what material the objects were made of, although they were still randomly assorted. A few of the neon lights had been broken and blood gathered in pools on the floor. Meanwhile, Vash sat in the service tunnel going over some papers with Chika.

"Check it out. What do you think of this yearly refund? 5,000 is good right? It isn't like you Daedra will ever spend it..." Vash said, which prompted Chika to give her a look most unpleasant.

"What? As if you could just walk into a shop and buy goods without freaking the owners out! Get real..."

Just then, a Nord walked into the rooms stately in stature with a sword drawn. Vash looked him over and nodded to herself.

"You've killed some of my Daedra. Now I get to kill you. How do you want to die?"

"I did not know that I wasn't supposed to harm the Daedra. I'm just so used to attacking them in the wilderness."

"Fair enough. What were they doing before you killed them?"

"Just sitting around..."

With a scoff Vash replied, "You killed them when they were on break?! How rude! Why are you here?"

The Nord eyed the Vampire strangely, but then stated his reasons for showing.

"I heard you archive peoples lives, so I came to tell you about myself. I had no idea you were a Vampire though..."

"Well, I am. And before I kill you I'll let you talk."

Vash: What is your first memory of Vvardenfell?

Falmir: Hmmm....That would be entering Seyda Neen in the prisonship. Damn embarrassing that I, Nord, son of seafarers, kings of the whaleroad, got so seasick, hallucinating and all that. Though being in prison with rotten food may also have contributed to it. And not to mention certain Lady Azura.;-)

Vash: What has been the most challenging moment of your life in Morrowind?

Falmir: When my wife and companion Laura asked me if I had an affair with Ahnasssi....just kidding. Second battle of the Red Mountain with my loyal companions, Laura and Hilda, who actually gave the deathblow to Dagoth Ur, while I destroyed Lorkhan´s Heart. Also aftermath of Mournhold affair with Almalexia, when I challenged the remaining Hands of Almalexia. They truly were the most deadly combatants, and gave, pound for pound, the hardest fight of all my Opponents.

Vash: What is your favorite food?

Falmir: Roasted nix-hound in Greef marinade, with Flin.

Vash: Oh, going all fancy on me now. Who has been the most interesting person you've had the pleasure of meeting on the island of Vvardenfell?

Falmir: Diviath Fyr. Interesting and intriguing personality even in the oddball gallery of your regular Telvanni sorcerer-lords.

Vash: Everyone loves the Telvanni. Fyr was nice, but he lacked the stark raving madness that I've seen in other people. What's your view on abolitionists and the abolishment of slavery in Vvardenfell?

Falmir: What can I say? We did it. Slavery is now illegal in Vvardenfell, thoughTelvanni´s resist the ducal order of ceasing slave trading and keeping. (Note to self: Remember to raid few Telvanni mines.) Needles custom, potentially dangerous, and definitely wasteful.

Vash: How do you feel about the Tribunal of Living Gods?

Falmir: Poor souls. They dabbled with things mortals were not meant to, and they paid the price. My own time will come someday, with a new curse of flesh weighing on my shoulders, since neither time, nor disease can kill me, and none so far can match me in combat. Anyhow, back to original question. In my opinion, you can't have the best of both worlds, being God and mortal that is. Gods are above and beyond normal mortal's urges and morals. Tribunal got immense power from the Tools and Heart, but not the wisdom and insight for true God hood.

Vash: I never liked them that much, especially Vivec. But, everyone knows that. What about those Dwemer? What do you think happened to them?

Falmir: That we may never know for sure. My colleagues, Edwinna Elbert, Hasphat Antabolis and I argue about this constantly, and we must hope that future excavations uncover some more definitive evidence for the matter.

Vash: What do you know about the events at Red Mountain?

Falmir: Pretty much the all versions that float around, but I don't care in particular. I did my thing and got free from this "prophecy". Now I am my own person, and resent that people call me "Nerevarine".

Vash: What's your favorite holiday spot in Morrowind?

Falmir: Pelagiad, where my mages tower lies. Beautiful little town, where we (Laura and I) can rest, plus it's only short way to Vivec City, if Laura wants to do some shopping. ;-)

Vash: What would you most like to see in Morrowind that already isn't there?

Falmir: Regular animals á la cows, horses (even if you can't ride them), pigs, chicken, squirrels etc. And all cliffracers, kagoutis, nix-hounds, kwama foragers, and alits, DEAD. Not the netches and guars though. =)

Vash: What about those Werewolves?

Falmir: Fido! HEEL! Good for target practice, though (Illuminated) Order would like to capture few for interrogation and experiment.

Vash: What do you think of Mournhold?

Falmir: Screwed law enforcement. I got attacked by that wacky Bosmer in ebony armor, and what did the High Ordinator do? Nothing. He just walked away. Nice looking manors, got myself one from there. From that crazy sorcerer, who terrorized people if you remember. Queen Mother Barenziah is a really nice person, and it is a great honor to know her. Her late son, Helseth, was completely different matter though. Sending the Dark Brotherhood after me, the Grandmaster of the Morag Tong, he made himself a legitimate target for (unsanctioned) elimination in war between MT (Morag Tong) and DB (Dark Brotherhood).

Vash: Is there any faction that you prefer?

Falmir: Temple. IC (Imperial Cult) with the fact that I am *not* the head of it, and I like lay healer and almoner missions.

Vash: Really? Me too! Anyway, what are your opinions on us Vampires? *hard stare*

Falmir: Killed few. Nothing personal, just business. Using cattle makes you a target though, but since I can only free them with swift death, hunting you for slave keeping would not be a good option. Treat your cattle well and fairly, pay them for their blood and set them free after awhile. They can be made to forget all those memories of your hideout etc. I can even offer help to rehab them. If you kill anyone, then it's unlife for life, and last thing you see is just flash of my trusty sword "Frostfang", when it cuts your head off. =)

Vash: *opens and closes mouth several times* Do you see these Daedra?!... If you're seasoned in Morrowind, what challenges have you come across in later adventures?

Falmir: Boredom, depressing landscape in Molag Amur and Ashlands region. Also training my companion, Laura. Plus recruiting more guards for Raven Rock colony, got about 10 now. Life goes with pretty much routine now. Keep route Raven Rock-Fort Frostmoth-Thirsk-Skaal village clear from monsters and raiders. Though berserkers, fryse hags, smugglers, and reavers, don´t have for some reason balls to attack me. I can count the times with one-hand fingers they did. So it's spriggans and riklings mainly who provide targets for Raven Rock Militia´s campaigns. I do mainly the healing, repairing, and casting boosts for combatants. Plus casting some minor attack spell, so troops got the idea and attack the target.

Vash: *yawn* Wha...? Oh, yeah. Things have been like that for me too. Have you considered collecting treasures?

Falmir: I sold most of the artifacts to Mournhold Museum, but am thinking of getting them back and setting my own museum. I do collect some of the rarer weapons, Daedric stuff etc. Then again, maybe little vampire hunting would enliven my boring routine?

Vash: What is your last journal entry?

Falmir: 2 Sun's Dawn (Day 474) I spoke with Neldris Llervu who had been driven mad by dreams of Dagoth Ur and the Sixth House. This former "Sleeper" thanked me, and promised to tell others how I saved his life.

Vash: What advice can you offer to other adventurers?

Falmir: Everything that other people in Vvardenfell tell you, as advice, pretty much cover what beginning adventurer needs to know. And heeding that advice can only be done by her/him. That's my advice. Listen what people tell you, and take heed.

Vash: Especially if you're new! Well, interesting story. You've managed to move my decision into your favor. Come back sometime." She said with a toothy grin. "Now, leave before I change my mind. Chika will walk you out and make sure you don't harm anymore of my workers. If you do slip up and murder another you'll never make it out of here alive. But don't worry, you'll be archived..."

"Those crazy Nords..." Vash thought to herself. She didn't particularly care for them, but then again she didn't like too many people. As Falmir was escorted out of the room, Vash bent back over her papers and increased the amount of gold for the refund. She had over fifty million to spare.

Falmir's Details

Name: Caj Holmberg
Age: 33
Sex: Male
Location: Helsinki, Finland
Background: Martial arts and weapons. Started playing RPG´s when several friends in same MA club mentioned that they played Runequest. From there, long way to playing Morrowind.
Platform: PC

Name: Falmir Ironside
Sex: Male
Race: Nord
Class: Thief
Location NA
Factions: House Hlaalu, Thieves Guild, Legion, Mages, East Empire Company, Morag Tong, Blades, Twin Lamps, Illuminated Order of Invisibles, Temple, Imperial Cult.
Highest Faction Rank: Grandmaster of House Hlaalu
Favourite Weapon: Custom Longbow
Favourite Spell: Calm humanoid/creature
Favourite Book: The Real Barenziah (uncensored version)
Favourite Item: Custom boots (10p stealth CE)


Assassins Armoury
Marksman Mod
Horatio´s Casting Mod
CM Partners Mod
Laura Craft
Companion Hilda
Better Raven Rock
Illuminated Order
Twin Lamps by Brother Juniper
Archmage Tower
Dodge mod.


Voluptuous Vash
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