Welcome once again to the Rethan Manor. With me this time is a former business associate and long time friend of mine, Mather. He has recently returned from a long stint in an Imperial Jail on the mainland. Though we've had differences in the past, he looked me up to see how I was doing, and I thought I would find out what he had been up to since he arrived back in Seyda Neen last week.
Cheese: After being away for many years, what was your impression of our island of Vvardenfell after stepping of the Imperial Prison Ship?
Mather: Seyda Neen is still the biggest and most boring hole in the face of Vvardenfell. I feel sorry for the poor inhabitants of that town, just because they will never know better. But other than that, good food, and Selus Gravius was very polite..... still wanted to cut his head off though.
Cheese: Heh, he knew it. You should've seen the relief on his face after you left town. Aside from self restraint, what was your biggest early challenge?
Mather: That damned silt strider, made me god be damned sick. But other than that, finding the Corner Club when I arrived in Balmora was annoying, haven't they ever heard of street names?
Cheese: I'll admit, there's a lot of business around for sign writers around here. How about later challenges, or was the last time I beat you with a winning streak at throw dice the most recent trouble you've had?
Mather: Ahhh, well you could go on for hours about beating me five times in a row at hazard, I have never seen a person throw the main so much... Also, those damned Daedric Ruins, remember that one Addadshashanammu, south of Gnaar Mok.You know, that one, the one when you picked up that diamond and a Daedra appeared out of nowhere? Blast, that was a tricky fight.
Cheese: Good thing you were there to watch. Actually, I've learned a new trick for dealing with that. Stand on the shrine facing back down the stairs, crouch down with an arrow drawn, and shoot any Daedra that appear full of holes before they can say Azura.
Mather: Watched!?! I copped a Daedric Wakizashi to the face. Well fine, but just you be careful the next time you ask a favour.
Cheese: Good to see you've still got your temper. Don't forget, you ended up getting 75% of the loot from that trip. Aside from myself, who's the most interesting person you've met so far?
Mather:Most interesting person..... That funny little merchant, you know the one, the crab looking one, actually, if it wasn't for the fact that he talked I would have sworn he was a mud crab....
Cheese: Oh, so it wasn't just me. I thought I'd eaten some bad corkbulb. Here's something I've never asked you before, what do you think of the abolitionist movement?
Mather: The wha?
Cheese: The anti-slavery thing, man.
Mather: I leave that intellectual stuff to the politicians, I would much rather live my life than worrying about the little insignificant things in life.
Cheese: What's your impression of the Tribunal?
Mather: They have a nice looking temple there.... but the people are pretty bad, like that little guy we saw, the one who asked up for more and more money, he didn't believe I had a million dollars... I mean look at me, I am the Guildmaster of the Thieves Guild, of course I will have that kind of money laying around....
Cheese: I don't think he was a part of the temple, but I know what you mean. I had two million in my pocket. You were like, "Fine, don't take my money!"
Mather: Heh, yeah.
Cheese:You and I have been to just about every Dwarven ruin on this island. What do you think happened to the Dwemer?
Mather: Ahh, the little folk? Yeah, I think I have a theory, well you see, one of them, they started to add mechanical parts to his body, then they all started doing it, till eventually, there was nothing left.... They might even be those annoying Sentinel things.... you know the mechanical balls, big person, ahh!
Cheese: You know. I've never looked at it that way. Have you asked Yagrum in the Corprusarium about it?
Mather: No, you see, I don't like the idea of picking up Corprus, so you see, the more you stay away from it, the longer you keep on living.
Cheese: Yagrum's still alive. Now I know you've been inside the Ghostfence a few times, and even though you say you're not interested, I've seen you poking around some of the artifacts and scrolls up there. What do you think happened at Red Mountain with Nerevar and Dagoth Ur and the Dunmer army?
Mather: Big betrayals, bad bad bad, read something on a scroll that said that Dagoth Ur betrayed them all. I dunno, what's past is past.
Cheese: I think Ur went a bit loopy myself. So what do you do when you need to get away from it all?
Mather: I go for a little trip up north, I really like the Nord town, beautiful places, I have a tower there I stole off a wizard. The same guy I took this helm from. Got a great view of the countryside.
Cheese: Yeah, it's nice up there. I know you're not interested in joining any of the local factions, but if you had to work with one, which would it be?
Mather: Hmmmm, probably the Hlaalu, they don't mind a killer in their ranks, in fact they encourage it.
Cheese: *laughs* You should see the Telvanni this time of year.
At this point, there are some noises outside. Cheese pokes her head out the door and yells at Fjorgeir to keep it down. A sheepish "Sorry," echoes in response through the doorway.
Cheese: Where abouts do you hang out these days?
Mather: Well, I have been hanging out in the Vivec sewers, plenty of my kind of people in there, lots of work in Vivec too.
Cheese: You know, I can see you living in a sewer. Especially in Vivec. You and Fjorgeir would get along well together. He's got a mind like a club, but all Nords are like that. Feel free to take him with you when you leave. All he does 'round here is make a racket and spit on my garden. Are you still using that Bound Dagger you always carried around with you, or have you found something better to slit throats with?
Mather: Nope, nothing better than it, well, I prefer to stick with the old goodies.
Cheese: I tell you, it sure is lighter than the real thing.
Mather: And you get that 10% proficiency from it.
Cheese: Where'd you get it anyway?
Mather: I'd just stolen it from Ra'Viir, and the moment I stepped out his door, I dropped it. I thought the bound dagger spell would run out before I picked it up but it's still working all these years later.(1)
Cheese: Oh. On another note, what would you most like to see in Vvardenfell?
Mather: Some wagons, I remember when you used to have that one back when you lived in Daggerfall, rickety, but you could steal everything in a town and fit it all.
Cheese: Yeah, I know. I managed to hide it before I was sent to prison, and when I arrived in the Census and Excise Office, they told me it had been impounded for being parked unlawfully. Typical. There's a guy in Mournhold who sells pack rats. They're not a wagon, but at least you don't have to carry everything.
Mather: Ah, handy.
Cheese: Yeah, but they squeak a lot. Ever tried to rob a rich old lady when there's a squeakin mouse following you around and getting stuck on the furniture?
Mather: Cant say I have.
Cheese: Well, it's not as bad as dealing with the guards she calls, but it's still a a pain. Your handwriting is terrible, man. What's that last entry in your Journal say?
Mather: That's just a reminder to get some milk and to go out and get the Dren Plantation, nothing like stealing parcels of land to make the goats milk go down well.
Cheese: Your Journal, not your diary.
Mather: Oh. "21 Last Seed (Day 6) I have spoken to Gaenor, a poor-looking Wood Elf who made some rather ridiculous demands of me. He eventually got angry and threatened me. Now he will no longer speak to me. Quite an odd encounter..."
Cheese: He was a weird little fellow. He's got his hands on some pretty hefty armour last time I saw him and he was saying some nasty stuff about you. I wouldn't have thought it before, but he looks pretty tough. You think you can handle him?
Mather: I'm pretty sure I could try, but why when I have Thief underlings to do the work for me?
Cheese: Fair enough.
Mather: The silt strider from Balmora isn't far off leaving. If I want to get home in time, I'd better be heading off soon.
Cheese: Any final words of advice for adventurers who're just starting out?
Mather: Ummmmm, keep in touch with your mother.
Cheese: I'll remember that. Actually, I'm up for a trip to Balmora. I need to sell some spare ebony armour I picked up from a Quarra vampire last week. Fjorgeir will keep an eye on the place while I'm gone.
Cheese and her companion rise from their seats, sling their packs over their shoulders, and head out the door in the direction of Balmora with the relaxed saunter of two adventurers who've been to the ends of the world together and survived the trip back.
|Background:||"I am the Norse God of Overclocking!"|
|Highest Faction Rank:||Thieves Guild Guildmaster|
|Favourite Weapon:||'Special' Bound Dagger (1)|
|Favourite Book:||I don't read|
|Favourite Item:||Masque of Clavicus Vile|