Papers rustle as drafts caused by a localized blightstorm find their way through crevices and cracks into Vash's domain.

"Chika, do something about that wind," says the vapmire absently as she strugles to keep the corners of the new workers' compensation policy flat.

The Daedra shrugs and wanders off to find the source of the intruding wind. Before Chika can open the door, it bursts open and a Nord strides in.

Vash slams the papers flat again. "Damnit, Chika. I thought I-" The vampire's voice trails off as she notices the visitor. "Oh, what can I do for you?"

"You write tales. I have come to tell you mine."

Vash: What is your first memory of Vvardenfell?

Dexter: I was barely eight at the time, my father brought me to Dagon Fel to drop off a shipment of weapons he had made.

Vash: Ah, so it was a family thing before being shipped off to prison and then brought back again?

Dexter: Aye, my father was a weapon smith, he only came to Vvardenfell when it was completely necessary for business.

Vash: Interesting. What has been the most challenging experience during your first days after being released?

Dexter: Probably the climate of the place. My family was not a wealthy one growing up, so I had no trouble providing for myself, but it was so hot during the day, and then when there were no ash storms. Makes me wonder why my ancestors invaded the island in the first place.

Vash: Hm, divide and conquer I suppose. Here's an interesting question, what is your favorite food in Morrowind?

Dexter: I almost hesitate to admit it, but guar meat can be damn good if you cook it right.

Vash: *gasp* You've been around, who is the most interesting person you've met on your travels?

Dexter: You wouldn't believe what this land does to my brothers. It dulls their wits and numbs their minds. I cant go three months without running into a Nord who is paralyzed to the spot, stripped of his clothes, and barely able to move his lips to tell me of the witch that stole his valuables. The skulls of at least a dozen of these witches line the mantle on my fireplace. This land is poison to the strong.

Vash: Naked Nords are plentiful here in Morrowind.It's a shame everyone is so stereotypical. Now that you're nice and riled up, what's your view on slavery? Do you think it should be illegal to keep slaves? Should their masters at least give them good clothing?

Dexter: Slavery is all wrong here. The Dunmer will put any cat or lizard in shackles just for being what they are. Slavery should be a punishment. Instead of letting prisoners' rot away in a cell (which I know plenty about), they should put them to work. Better to die of exhaustion than waste away, but the Dunmer don't seem to understand this. They are so racist that anything with a tail goes in chains to work until they die.

Vash: Interestingly enough, it isn't just the beast races that are enslaved. I've seen some Altmer and Redguard slaves. Have you gone on any crusades to free slaves from large plantations?

Dexter: I don't go out of my way to do so. There have been many occasions where I encounter smugglers or bandits who own slaves, and after dispatching the goons I free the slaves. I have also had several run-ins with the Telvanni in this manner. But no, I don't go out of my way to free slaves. An abolitionist organization has offered me membership on several occasions, but that isn't for me.

Vash: Crusading is pretty fun if it's along the way. How do you feel about the Tribunal of Living Gods? Do you think it's a little.... foolish to worship false Gods? And how do you think they're handling things?

Dexter: The tribunal is my biggest sort of amusement on this insect-swarmed island. No wonder the Dunmer are so xenophobic, if everyone learned the true extent of what a shame their Gods are, they would be the laughing stock of the world! They can't run things right, Daedra worship is everywhere, the great houses are at each other's throats, corprus monsters walk around free as birds. Ever wonder why the city of Vivec is so big? The "God" is trying to compensate.

Vash: Vivec is really annoying isn't he?

Dexter: Just unlock those palace doors. I'll split him right down the center. Give the gray half to the Temple and mount the gold half on my wall.

Vash: I've already taken care of him! Sorry... I think I may have the body lying around somewhere.... Anyway, what's up with those crazy Dwemer? Aside from what you've read, what do you think REALLY happened to them?

Dexter: The REAL gods happened to them. The Dwemer dared to stand with the Dunmer against the Nord invasion, and for this treachery they were removed from this world. I don't know where they went, and I really don't care. All that matters is they are gone, and I'm making a fortune off all the junk they left behind.

Vash: They DO have some interesting junk. What do you know about the events at Red Mountain?

Dexter: Lets face it, the Tribunal were beaten. The Dwemer were going to achieve their goal and become Gods, and there wasn't a damn thing the Tribunal could do about it. So a Daedra saved them by spiriting away the Dwemer. And still the Dunmer worship these fools while Daedra worship is outlawed. Anyway, the Dunmer were screwed, and all that saved them was a God they now forsake.

Vash: You mean Azura?

Dexter: i suppose it must have been her.

Vash: I know what you mean! Poor Azura, and then Sotha Sil wanted to mouth off. He's a little trouble-maker... When you're not looting or killing witches, what's your favorite holiday spot in Morrowind?

Dexter: Whenever I have the chance I go to Solstheim. Eventually I'll finish my work here and be able to return to Skyrim. But Solstheim will have to do for now. Great place. Perfect weather, beautiful women, no little gray people that are mad at the world, no giant bugs.

Vash: I've never been there. Any cliff racers?

Dexter: One. It's stuffed and hanging from the ceiling from the Great Hall in the Skaal village. No, none of those obnoxious pushover creatures in Solstheim.

Vash: I need to visit there. Cliff racers are annoying. Is there anything not in Morrowind that you'd like to see?

Dexter: I already said I would like to return to Skyrim one day. I would also like to go back to Cyrodiil, but that is a matter of personal vendetta.

Vash: Imperial bothering you?

Dexter: There are some soldiers that work at a particular prison that I need to have some words with.

Vash: They think they're so great don't they? Try joining the Imperial Legion. What about those Werewolf sightings?

Dexter: Werewolves...sublime creatures really. A menace to society and danger to everyone, make no mistake, but they are the perfect predators. All of Morrowind thinks that vampires are bad, they have no idea.

Vash: Tell me about it. I can't tell you how many miles I've walked because the damn silt-strider people are so afraid of me. Have you ever been to Mournhold?

Dexter: Once. I had to trade with a smith. Hideous place.

Vash: That's what I hear. Are there any factions that you are fond of in Morrowind? If you've joined any that is.

Dexter: I'm in the fighter's guild. Although it's sponsored by the Empire, its leadership is nearly entirely Nords. Our master has his priorities mixed up, but I am helping a woman climb the ranks so that she can fill his place.

Vash: They hate everybody. What do you think of us Vampires?

*Vash gives Dexter a hard stare*

Dexter: Sucks to be you. At least us werewolves can travel by day and people don't notice what we are.

Vash: You're a Werewolf? That's interesting.... and it does suck. I like hearing the people scream in fright of me though. Are there any recent challenges you've encountered in Morrowind?

Dexter: Yes, a large one, its name is the Morag Tong. Apparently there is a hit out on me. I killed the first assassin, and apparently now I have disgraced their honor. The second assassin did not know of my...condition, and I fed on him during the night. Now I can only assume they have sent a third after me. Obnoxious.

Vash: If I wasn't a Vampire I could probably get that fixed for you. The Morag Tong was pretty annoying when I was in it. What is the most recent journal entry?

Dexter: I don't keep too thorough a journal. If I lost it or it was stolen, I would be in a lot more trouble with the law than I am now. And that's' saying something. But my last entry is coded and refers to my latest fighters guild assignment.

Vash: What bit of advice would you offer to other adventurers?

Dexter: If you want to spend your time in Morrowind, don't bother trying to save it. Morrowind is a doomed land. Take what you can, make all the money possible, milk this place for all its worth. Because when the empire falls and this land turns into an anarchic land of chaos, I'll already be on a boat heading north.

Dexter's Details

Name: Dexter Klinefelter
Age: 19
Sex: Male
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Background: NA
Platform: PC

Name: Dexter Buchanan
Sex: Male
Race: Nord
Class: Reaver
Location Vivec
Factions: Fighters Guild
Highest Faction Rank: Warder
Favourite Weapon: Gorechild (Axe with Weakness to Magicka, Damage Health and Damage Armor)
Favourite Spell: Levitate
Favourite Book: The Wolf Queen
Favourite Item: Witchbane (Ring, Constant Effect Reflect)


Morrowind Abodes


Voluptuous Vash
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