Here we are in a cosy corner of Rethan Mannor, my Hlaalu Stronghold. I am Cheeseness, part time Nerevarine, and full time thief, roguess, windbag, and the charming inquisitive mind behind the Morrowind Appendices. With me now is well-known adventurer, and inquisitor in her own part, Withershyn.

Withershyn: Inquisitor?
  Cheese: Shhhh, I haven't started yet.

Laid out on the table before us is a copy of her journal and some souvineers from her travels.

Cheese: Let's start as early as we can. What is your first memory of Vvardenfell?

Withershyn: I was puzzled that I couldn't get into those crates on the ship, actually. But to Vvardenfell -- I stepped off the boat, did some paperwork, and spent a half hour in the Census House picking up anything that wasn't nailed down: *shlop*, *hurried steps*, "I'm warning you, you can't do that here!", *step step*. Repeat ad nauseam. Then I stepped out into the bright sunshine and the stuff was gone.

Cheese: It's a part of our lives that everyone seems to share. I did meet one Imperial fellow, however, who absolutely refused to "shlop" anything from the Census and Excise Offices. Did you end up picking up and returning Fargoth's Ring of Healing?

Withershyn: I did. I'm a good neighbor. Then I remembered that I don't have a house in Seyda Neen, and took it back.

Cheese: After being released from the prison ship, what has been the most challenging moment of your life in Morrowind?

Withershyn: If you mean early challenges, I was never able to snap a good photo of that guy falling from the sky. Actually, I would've just been happy to play his yell a few more times...

Cheese: Yes, I thought it was a bit disappointing that I couldn't relive that moment too (Thankfully, his falling yell is stored as a .wav in the Data Files directory). Did you end up using those scrolls of Icarian Flight?

Withershyn: Yes. They're keeping the dust off my shelf.

*Cheeseness gives Withershyn a funny look, then proceeds*

Cheese: What ever happened to that yellow nordic fur hat that you were wearing in Seyda Neen?

Withershyn: Isn't that thing great? I think I left it on the tax collector.

Cheese: Speaking of the tax collector, did you solve the mystery of his death?

Withershyn: Sure. It was easier than doing taxes this year, at least.

Cheese: And did you turn the perpetrator in?

Withershyn: Well, I killed him, if that's what you mean.

Cheese: How many people do you think you've killed so far?

Withershyn: I don't know. I guess someone remorseful might count something like that.

Cheese: In Vvardenfell, what is your favourite food?

Withershyn: Maybe Scrib jerky. The idea of jerky from insect muscle is just strange enough.

Cheese: I hear that you've had quite a few adventures so far. Who has been the most interesting person you've had the pleasure of meeting on the island of Vvardenfell?

Withershyn: Possibly Baladas, the rogue Telvanni in Gnisis. I had lately seen Peter Jennings guesting on the Daily Show. There was a moment when Jon Stewart said, "...Can I just say something? I feel like you know everything." That was me with Baladas.

Cheese: If Baladas was wearing an Indoril helmet, would he be the Ordinator of your dreams?

Withershyn: I don't know... if we put a helmet on Marilyn Manson, could he play like Donovan McNabb? Wait a sec -- can McNabb play anymore? Ugh...

Cheese: Through your travels, which monster have you found most irritating?

Withershyn: Whatever wakes me up. True in the game, as in life.

Cheese: And to focus on some more political issues (and we'll leave your treatment of Rabinna alone for the moment), what's your view on abolitionists and the abolishment of slavery in Vvardenfell?

Withershyn: Slavery is absolutely necessary, with folks like Crassius Curio running things.

Cheese: And what's your feeling toward Master Curio? With you being a Telvanni and him being Hlaalu, there's likely to be some friction, yes?

Withershyn: So they tell me. If you ask me, there's probably more friction with his neighbors, after dress rehearsals with 'Lifts Her Tail'.

Cheese: He's a little more upfront with us Hlaaluans, but he does have his uses.

Withershyn: So you had to strip for him. It's okay...

Cheese: *ahem* On the topic of acting, what did you think of your opposite's performance in "The Horror of Castle Xyr"?

Withershyn: She was pretty wooden, but so it goes. The play was a Hugh Grant vehicle, so I can't blame her, really. Have you ever stuffed corn up your nose? I haven't either, but when I watch him, it's the kind of thing I think about.

Cheese: I can't claim to have had any ears up my nose, but I'm sure I can relate. Would you have preferred to take a starring role in The Lusty Argonian Maid?

Withershyn: Hmm... why not? I'd just leave, and some folks might thank me.

Cheese: How do you feel about the Tribunal of Living Gods? Do you think they're doing a good job of running things, or is it time somebody ripped the power from their hearts?

Withershyn: The Tribunal... Are they alive? Well, they are in my world, anyway. I don't know if Almalexia's power resides in her heart, but my compliments on her belly button. I suppose if someone took their power away, we'd be doing less mission work, and more killing of Netches with giant forks. Other than that, it'd be business as usual.

Cheese: According to Almalexia, her heart is too big; according to her missing Hand, her heart is non-existent. How did you deal with this depressed (I've heard some say he was lucky and had nothing to be depressed about, but that's another issue) fellow?

Withershyn: I calmed him with a spell, but he was too fiesty. So I Chamo'ed up and he ran away. It was a tough fight, especially since I wouldn't have minded taking him home. I'm pretty Ordinator-friendly.

Cheese: So I've heard. Speaking of tough fights, how did you deal with Gaenor?

Withershyn: The little lamplighter? I didn't. I've heard of him, of course, and I seem to remember talking to him once. Maybe I didn't, though, because I never had a problem with him.

Cheese: I think that you'd become pretty famous pretty quickly if you ended the power of the Tribunal. Have you had much time to converse with Vivec?

Withershyn: I don't want to be famous, just entertained. I wouldn't mind sitting down with Vivec, but at this point I've just hung out with his Archcanon.

Cheese: Vivec's well worth having a chat with if you ever get the chance. What are your thoughts on your patron Azura?

Withershyn: I guess that's some, like, Blue Female Daedra? I wasn't aware that she was my patron, but that's cool, I guess.

Cheese: She's the voice from your dream, the one that sounds like she's speaking through a vacuum cleaner.

Withershyn: It actually sounded worse than that, on my poor machine.

Cheese: Aside from being gone, what deductions have you made about the Dwemer situation?

Withershyn: I hear the Dwemer sought to find the sacred in the profane. With their machinery, they were somewhat mechanized in their living. I guess it's like a fast food fry guy taking leave to worship a power plant; obviously, this causes problems.

Cheese: Have you heard Yagrum of the Corprusariam's opinion?

Withershyn: Nope. If he's in the Corprusarium, I don't want to.

Cheese: There's a lot of dancing Corprus zombies down there. That's where I learned to limbo.

Withershyn: There really is a song called Zombie Jamboree(1)...

Cheese: There really is a breed of frog that eats its own eggs, and then regurgitates young.(2)

Withershyn: Beats regurgitating old, I guess.

Cheese: True. Have you heard any of the legends surrounding the events at Red Mountain just prior to the disappearance of the Dwarves?

Withershyn: Sure. Blessed if I remember any of it.

Cheese: What sort of things would you most like to see in Vvardenfell?

Withershyn: Party items. Jacuzzis, wet bars, Martini Ordinators and passed out Nords. I want the perfect house, and a quest where I hold a dinner party and guess the murderer. It's probably a good thing I haven't gotten into mod creation.

Cheese: When you're not busy running (loafing) around Mournhold, where's your favourite holiday spot? I hear that you headed up to the Sheogorad Region for a bit of R&R a while ago, what was that like?

Withershyn: Sheogorad is my favorite. It's chill, remote, and seems well-suited to folks seeking diversions from long, hierarchical quests. There're items to find and people to taunt. It's a good place to go and forget whatever it was you were doing.

Cheese: Yes, it is rather picturesque. There is a Khajiit known as M'Aiq the Liar who lives in the Sheogorad area. Do you find him an annoying neighbour when you are out for a relaxing vacation?

Withershyn: Well, Sheogorad's attractive because it has a lot of diversions that aren't attached to a main. I think it's well-designed for whimsy, and that makes it work for me. Zafirbel Bay and the Telvanni East might make a good vacation for a Redoran or Hlaalu unfamiliar with them, too.

Cheese: Thanks for the tip. I'll remember that next time I've got some time off.

Cheese: In your mind, which faction is the best (from what I've read of your journal, you fit just right with the Telvanni)?

Withershyn: I've only played Telvanni, so I can't judge. If I were beginning anew now, I'd play Redoran.

Cheese: Have you ever thought of joining a Vampire Clan?

Withershyn: I'm not into the Goth thing, I think. But it's nice the option is there.

Cheese: On the matter of psycho/physiotropic diseases, if you caught lycanthropy, what would be your first reaction?

Withershyn: Bathe.

Cheese: In a jacuzzi?

Withershyn: If I ever find one. These island Dunmer are way behind the continent.

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