Wonderfalls : Lovesick Ass

Season 1, Episode 8

Written by Dan E. Fessman and Harry Victor

Directed by Todd Holland

Original Airdate: 3 November 2004

Lovesick Ass "Girl needs a donut."
Jaye "Finally, something sensible."

REGULAR CAST

Caroline Dharvernas as Jaye Tyler
Katie Finneran as Sharon Tyler
Tyron Leitso as Eric Gotts
Lee Pace as Aaron Tyler
Diana Scarwid as Karen Tyler
William Sadler as Dr. Darrin Tyler
Tracie Thoms as Mahandra McGinty

GUEST CAST

Magdelena Alexander as Katya
Ted Whittall as Dick Johnson
Spencer Breslin as Peter Johnson

CO-STARRING

Sandi Ross as Glory
Jake Simons as Handsome Man
Geny Walter as Resident
Zoe Heath as Pretty Woman

MUSE VOICES

Scotch Ellis Loring
Ted Dykstra
Jeffrey R. Smith

SYNOPSIS

As a hot, sweaty, and very sexy Eric installs a satellite dish on top of Jaye's trailer, Mahandra can't help but notice Jaye admiring Eric's body. Eric asks for something to drink, and Mahandra volunteers to get it, leaving the two alone so Jaye can participate in her "mating ritual." When Eric returns to work, Jaye reminds Mahandra that he's married, but Mahandra counters that he's married to a philanderer. Meanwhile a beautiful young Russian woman named Katya waits at the Maid of the Mist fountain. The person she's supposed to meet never shows up, and she ends up sleeping overnight at the foot of the fountain with her two suitcases. The following day, when Jaye opens up the shop, a barrel bear says, "girl needs a boy." Jaye takes this a critique of her love life. A lovesick ass then tells her, "girl needs a donut." A short time later Jaye spots Eric feeding Katya a bunch of donuts that were intended for Jaye. Eric explains that Katya was starving. Katya tells the pair that she met the love of her life online, and was supposed to meet him at the fountain, but he never showed up. When Katya says she's still hungry, the pair take her to the bar, where she downs a big plate of Buffalo wings. When Jaye quizzes Eric about his interest in Katya, Eric realizes that Jaye has never been in love, and accuses her of being emotionally inaccessible. Jaye denies this is true. Shortly thereafter the pair realize Katya was supposed to meet her beloved at a chapel called the Fountain of Love. Jaye, Eric, and Katya travel to the chapel, where Katya tells the owner, Glory, that she was supposed to meet a man named Peter at six o'clock. Glory tells her the six o'clock wedding was cancelled. A short time later Eric faints, and Jaye uses the distraction to rip a page from Glory's day-planner, giving her access to Peter's address. The threesome travel to Peter's house, but Peter turns out to be a thirteen-year-old boy.

Peter explains that he used photo-imaging software to make himself look older in the photos he e-mailed Katya. Katya lunges at him. Jaye and Eric escort Katya back to Jaye's trailer, where Katya sobs uncontrollably. Peter shows up at the trailer, claiming he's come to collect his wife. Katya responds by hurling shoes at him. Jaye and Eric take Peter to the bar, where he sips a milkshake. Jaye and Eric get into a debate about relationships, and although they seem to be talking about Peter and Katya, and the futility of Peter pursuing Katya, they're actually talking about themselves. Later Jaye pins Peter against a wall and warns him to stay away from Katya. Peter is instantly smitten with Jaye, telling her she "has fire." Jaye asks Sharon if she can do something to help Katya out, and Sharon promises she'll see what she can do. When Jaye returns to the trailer, she discovers that Katya cleaned it from top-to-bottom and set the dinner table for two. Eric shows up with a bottle of Vodka, but insists it isn't a date. Katya invites Jaye to join them for dinner. She serves galubnya, a whole fish suspended in gelatine. As Peter observes from outside the trailer, Jaye steps up to the kitchen sink. Eric steps up behind her and seemingly caresses her hair. But what he's actually doing is picking a small fish bone from it. Enraged, Peter tosses away the flowers he'd been holding and storms off. He then makes his way to a batting cage, where he intentionally allows a baseball to strike him in the eye.

The next day Jaye tells Eric that Peter showed up at her house sporting a black eye, and claimed that Eric assaulted him. Eric tells her that Peter is obviously jealous, but Jaye reminds Eric that he's not her boyfriend. Later Eric approaches Peter's father, Dick, at the construction site where he works. Eric tells Dick that his son treats women horribly, and wonders if Dick sets the same example at home. It turns out that Dick's wife died the previous year. Later Eric -- who now sports a black eye from having collided with a forklift -- tells Jaye that Peter's mother died and his father can't be bothered dealing with his son's troubled emotional state. Jaye decides that the best way for her to deal with the problem is to start dating Peter. Later she picks Peter up in her car. Peter thinks they're going out on a date, but Jaye drives him to his father's trailer office, where she explains that Peter ordered a wife from Russia. Jaye tells Dick that Peter's plan was to lock her up in a cabin in the woods so no one would know about her. Peter insists he would have kept her safe, just like Dick should have kept his mother safe from harm. Peter storms off and steals Jaye's car. Jaye hitches a ride on a poultry truck and makes it back to the bar, where Mahandra tells her that Peter showed up and told Eric that Jaye was waiting for him in a cabin on Lake Chautauqua. Jaye hotwires Eric's car and drives to the lake. Meanwhile Dick shows up at Jaye's trailer. Katya answers the door, and Dick is instantly smitten.

At the lake Eric searches the cabin, thinking Jaye's waiting for him. Peter, meanwhile, prepares to clobber Eric with a baseball bat. When he takes a swing, Eric reaches out and easily grabs the bat. He tells Peter he was aware that he was being set up from the very beginning. Eric tells Peter he might have a shot at Jaye's heart when he's old enough to date, by which time Jaye might be ready to stop running. When Jaye shows up at the cabin, Eric asks her out on a date. Jaye responds by kissing him deeply. Peter congratulates Eric on his "victory." Suddenly Eric's car erupts in flames. Back at the trailer Dick and Katya bond. When Sharon pulls up to the trailer she hears the sounds of lovemaking. When Katya comes to the door, Sharon tells her she's found a way to return her to Russia, but Dick says she's not going back.

TRIVIA

This episode is supposed to air as the eighth episode, but on Canadian television, it aired seventh.