THE END TIMES

VOLUME II || ISSUE 2 || APRIL 9, 2005

Optical Intercourse Next Great Sin!

Lifestyle Contract: Going Out on a Limb?

Relief for North Hall

"The Darkness" Named JBU's New Official Band!

Business Center Actually Nuclear Testing Facility!

Vampires Take a Bite Out of Campus Life!

Letter to Editor Capitalizes Candy!

Dating Banned at John Brown!

To The Little Man

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To The Little Man

On a serious note (no kidding), the End Times staff periodically comes across certain individuals and groups who distinguish themselves, and the editorial board pauses to recognize them.

Abdiel Mendietta:
We at the End Times would like to recognize you for the way you faced the music after the fight and publicly apologized to all involved, as well as the JBU community as a whole. The way you went about that speaks more about who you are than any failures.

Mike O'Neal:
We at the End Times would like to recognize you for your hard work and dedication to the continued safety of JBU. It has been primarily because of you that the department is what it is now. Keep up the good work!

Jim Nabors and the Cafeteria Staff:
We at the End Times would like to recognize you for continuing efforts to bring nourishing and tasty food to the JBU community. Even though some may complain, we are grateful for what you do.

Student Development:
Sometimes students bash Student Development for taking risks with new ideas, especially when those ideas do not turn out as planned. But were it not for you, the campus would not be able to function at all. We at the End Times salute you for tireless dedication to the students of John Brown University.

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Direct all questions and concerns to Mr. End Times Editor.