Or was it. Andrew Herbert, he's a persistant old sod, he and ex ZX81 personel were getting it on on the quiet in his spare room. ZX81 we should explain were a headfuck to behold, an act which consisted of ex MBT member Mr Kirkwood along with it's founder member Michael 'Black Magic' Bates and former Look Ma No Head (another local act) bassist Maria 'Lairy Bird' Penfold and Richard 'Unto' Ward who would play any instrument left laying about. They made the most confusing and quite frankly unforgettable music you would ever hear. They scarred people for life. Techno-jumble-Throbbing Gristle-headfuck doesn't come close to describing it. ZX81 were one of the first bands Ming ever promoted in his parallel universe, a gig that will always have a special place in the hearts of all who were lucky enough to be there. Sex Pistols at the 100 Club? Pah! I was at ZX81 at McMillans.
Soon the new duel bass thumping Herbert/Penfold/Ward collaboration was looking for a vocalist and a drummer.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, oh alright then" Ming mumbled and joined the band as vocalist on the understanding he didn't have to attempt to play an instrument badly of any description or carry any heavy gear around or miss West Ham home games. Plus they couldn't find anyone else.
First gig was upstairs at the Centurian pub in Deptford with old buddies the Probing Cranks and the ultimate bleakcore industrialists Ferox and was an enjoyable enough shambles.
By the second gig Mule Runner had aquired a drummer, Chelsea Steve, and the sound was getting meaty to say the least. Two big basses competed against one another and Unto Ward jumped from guitars to keyboards like a crazed one man psycho-band as Ming ranted over the top about anything from House shares to Franklin Mint wares through a Tandy megaphone when he could remember to get the battries for it. A gloss paint throwing incident at a gig in Bromley contributed to Steve's rather quick departure as a gig almost ended up in handbags over someones slacks getting splattered, besides he realised he could earn good money playing in a Right Said Fred tribute band!!
Herbert wanted another human being to drum for the band (of all the stupid ideas!) so after a string of uninspiring auditions which included an old Saxon drummer (Ming made his lame probably totally see-through excuses for that one and stayed away) Herbert decided he'd had enough of Mule Runner and left to form a Guitar Wolf tribute band. Only joking, a must see garage noise band called The Gimps. No hard feelings either way it should be said. Millwall c***.
Slimmed down to a three piece Mule Runner soon found a bit more room for manouvre in their music (how boring did that last bit sound) and bought back the trusty old friend, the Orac or K-9 of any band, the drum machine.
A week before a gig a last ditch 'For fucks sake we're sounding really shit' i.e. a prima-donna Ming strop meant the scrapping of the entire set and the total reworking of the bands material in the space of two weeks. Due to Penfold and Ward's multi-genius talents and patients it sort of worked, luckily, and the tracks Bumpkin, Bromley and Jim Davidson evolved. What followed was one of the most enjoyable gigs for the band. It happened at the Enterprise pub in Camden. Some pissed up mong in the audience even compared Unto Wards guitar playing to PIL's Keith Levene that night! Amazing what a few Kronenburgs can do. Another appearence at an all day event in shite hole Ming home town Bromley, Kent again along side some great bands and friends Probing Cranks, Brain Of Morbius, Bucket, Ferox, Planquez, Deptford Beach Babes, sadly seems to have been the bands last. Officially the group are currently on hold, there is now a Penfold-Ward little-un to contend with, but as soon as Mia Penfold-Ward gets to grips with PC Pro-Sound Home Studio 6 she'll hopefully be assisting in the making of the first Mule Runner CD which should include many of the titles below (so says Uncle Ming!). Until then the following scribbles must stay here for revision purposes if nothing else. Mule Runner will be back, maybe, but don't hold your breath.
Mule Runner were:
Maria Penfold bass
Herbert bass
Unto Ward guitar & keyboards
Chelsea Steve drums
Ming The Mong vocals
Mule Runner are:
Maria Penfold bass
Unto Ward guitars
Ming The Mong vocals
Scribbles:
Cliff/Rocks
The Welling Waddle
Fowl Play
The Franklin Mint
Rather Stay In
House Share Heaven
Artexing Engineer
Steve Strange-alike
Does My Arse
Hold On To Your Sides (It's Jim Davidson)
Bromley, Kent
Release The Bumpkin Inside
Pete Beale's Second-hand Cooker Stall
The Opinion Factory
Pointless hindsight musing at the bottom of the page
Most throw away Mule Runner line: "Am I too loud?" by Andrew Herbert