Franklin Mint
I've never been so skint since I ram-raided the Franklin Mint
I coshed a man, he nearly lost his life all for the sake of an Eagleman Knife
Gold plated Dr Who chess sets and Amy's Giddy Up Horsey
with it's official certificate of authenticity
Pointed my Toys R Us shot gun and the man on the gates he just laughed and said
"Is this a Jeremy Beadle stunt or tell me sunshine are you just plain daft?"
I said "stand aside or I'll blast you into twenty six monthly installments of body tissue.
I am the OAP's Robin Hood and you're standing between me and a stack of dead wood
I am the OAP's Robin Hood!"
I've never been so skint since I ram-raided the Franklin Mint
Please come and join the Pig Of The Month Club I've got these hand sculpted pigurines
they're fit to grace the most eloquent of latrines
This ain't done me no good now I'm saddled with a ton of dead wood
Approached a man in a pub last evening, made sure I flashed my smart Eagleman ring
I said "the House Of Fabergé creates a new legend The Princess Of The Ice Palace sculpted by hand"
Next I knew I was in casualty, the princess being removed surgically from a certain part of my anatomy
Taught me about the straight and narrow quite literally
The straight and narrow quite literally
MtM 2001