Pete Beale's Second-hand Cooker Stall
Nick Berry on the old joanna, we don't take Euro's treacle
Those were the days, almost like real life, warms ya cockles
I said we don't take Euro's treacle at
Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
Almighty fall from grace
Road side sun sponge just look at his face
That executive swivel chair's not for sale
It's just for one life beyond the curly cail
At Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
I should be the guvnor on that disused forte
Patronising scantilly clad secretaries in the legs akimbo Crystal Maze
It should be me and Melinda Messenger
It should be me and Melinda
But that bastard he stole all of my lines
that bastard stole all of my lines
that bastard Grantham he stole all of my lines
that bastard stole all of my lines!
Phoned up Gillian Tailforth on her mobile to see if she fancied
a couple of sherberts and a right good laugh down me local Wetherspoon
I'm a fully fledged member of the curry club, two meat balties for a bluey
She's got her voicemail on again
I miss the sausages at the BBC canteen
I miss the sausages at the BBC canteen
I miss the sizzle of the sausages at the BBC canteen
The Solen Kebab in Stoke Newington is not quite the same
We don't take Euro's reacle, Pete could've been the landlord at the Queen Vic
I said we don't take Euro's treacle, or even the head honcho at E20
You 'aving a bubble bath darlin' I said we don't take Euro's, owned the B&B
Open ya cauli's and listen you old sour trout, we don't take Euro's you fat dollop
They could of, they should of developed my character
They could of, they should of developed my character
They could of, they should of developed my character
They could of, they should of developed my character (repeat last 4 lines)
Into Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
Pete Beales second-hand cooker stall
MtM 2002