SARDAR JOKES

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!"
"Woof!" (barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
 

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Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when
someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand 
and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was 
taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same 
street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees 
and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says I am not a fool. This time, you 
wait and I'll go get a ladder."
 

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Santa and Banta Singhs landed up in Bombay and got into a doubledecker.
Santa somehow managed to get a bottom seat in the bus. Unfortunate Banta got 
pushed to the top. When the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to look up Banta,
found Banta in badly scared, clutching the seats in front with both hands.
Santa asked, "Arre Banta! What's going on? Why so scared?
I was enjoying my ride down there? Scared Banta replied, "Yeah, but you've got a *driver*."
 

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Santa with two red ears went to see his doctor. The doctor asked him what had
happened to his ears. "I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang. Instead of 
picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But...what happened to your other
ear?"
"The scoundrel called again."
 
 
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Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions hisfather.
"Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half
the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent. "
Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question,
"Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from
1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.
Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father,
"Dad,today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, 
I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??"
The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old.
 

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Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend 
Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh's frail condition grew 
worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper,and Santa used his
last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died.Banta singh thought
it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He 
realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. 
"You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read
it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us 
all.". He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
 

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Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he had fared. He replied, "Exam was okay, except for 
the past tense of 'think'. I thought, thought, thought and at last, I wrote 
'thunk'!"
 

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Santa told Banta, "I bet that India would win against Pakistan and lost Rs 
1,000." Banta exclaimed: "Yaar, you bet Rs 1,000 for a single match?" Santa 
replied:"Nahi yaar, I bet Rs 500 on that match."
Banta asked: "So, what happened to the other Rs 500?" Santa repied: "Chad yaar, 
I bet on the highlights too."
 

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A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields before 
returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this. At the
next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar and
explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge.
The authorities asked him, "Sardarji, are you mad? Just to save one person, you 
put so many lives in danger. You should have overrun that person." The
sardar replied: "Exactly, that is what I was doing, but this idiot started 
running towards the field when the train came very close."
 

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Once a building caught fire and two guys and a sardar were trapped in the 
balcony. On the ground, fire fighters caught hold of a net and asked them to 
jump.The first one jumped but the fire fighters removed the net and he was 
killed. Then the other guy was asked to jump and again they removed the net too 
soon and he was dead. Seeing all this, the sardar was furious and said: "You
keep the net on the ground and get away from it. I don't trust you.