Something New
Chapter 8
Something New
Chapter 8
�No bloody way.�
�Aw, come on.� Buffy said, infuriated and frustrated. �You can buy hair care products, candles and nail polish but you won�t be seen with even one white shirt? You can�t wear black all of your life.�
�Yes I can, and I will.� Spike said stubbornly. �Black doesn�t show blood and dirt.�
�Ugh. I don�t even wanna think about how many times or days you probably went just piling on more dirt and blood onto your clothes, and we didn�t even know.� Buffy shuddered. �You�re getting white.�
�I�ll just have to throw it away in a day or so.�
�Spike, not all of your clothes have to be clothes that you can go to war in.� Buffy said. �My clothes are never like that.�
�Maybe they should be. You�re the sodding Slayer.�
�Yeah, well I only deal with dust, and when I go out to do my job, I do change into easier clothes.� Buffy said. �See, it�s called a wardrobe. When you develop one, you can have different outfits. I understand that with Drusilla and living in a cemetery you had to always be ready to beat the snot-colored blood out of anything, but now you�re domesticated. You can wear white, and colors, and you won�t die. You can at least wear something not black, even a little, at the house. If you have to go out to patrol, I�ll allow you to change. It�s what a wardrobe is. I can�t always be the Slayer, sometimes I feel like going to see Willow, and wearing something pretty, or going out to the Bronze. Plus, I think blue is your color. But we don�t have to get so daring in clothes just yet. You are new to the concept. We�ll start just to get you into a few colors before I release you into a large world of it. You can wear something like you used to, that red shirt that you had was a color.�
�Huh.� Spike pondered a rack, looking at a shirt, but when he touched it, he pulled away like it was a cross that burned. �I don�t think color suits me.�
�Well I do, and I got an A+ in fashion. I even got Willow off of those Winnie the Pooh shirts � don�t look like that, it�s a cartoon teddy bear. The point is, just trust me, and I can help you out with this stuff. Pretty soon you�ll be glamorous � in a totally cool, heterosexual way, of course.�
�Not supposed to be taking fashion advice from you, Slayer.� Spike muttered to himself, looking over the rack of clothes, but he couldn�t picture himself in any of the stuff she was looking at. �You can�t turn me into your poofball, living with humans and wearing silk. God. I�d rather be in my grave again.�
�I�m not gonna make you wear silk.� Buffy frowned. �And I�m not comparing you to Angel at all. I�m just suggesting color. Angel wears silk? Never mind. But he doesn�t wear color.�
�Course not. It�d remind him of all the happy little children playing in the sun, like the ones he snacked on.� Spike muttered, walking off to check out some jeans.
�Ooh, this�ll be easier. Just try wearing blue jeans. Even one pair. We can buy a zillion and one, and have that one be blue, and I�ll be happy. I promise, you can have over half of your wardrobe for fighting.�
Spike turned to her, folding his arms, then sighed like it was a huge effort. �Fine. But if I don�t like �em, I get to burn it.�
�Or I�ll just give it back to the store.� Buffy said.
�Yeah. Sure.� Spike said, trying to act irritated, but let Buffy pick out clothes for him, noticing each time she said that she bet he�d look �hot� in one pair of pants or �totally killer� in another shirt. Buffy threatened Spike into trying on clothes, but then he refused to after she figured out his sizes, and she only wanted to see him try on clothes, so she just picked out colors and designs and debated in her mind about which ones would suit Spike and bring out his features at all. When she�s finally narrowed down her purchases to a few less than a zillion and one, or even a dozen and one, she paid for the stuff, making sure it was very clear to him that he owed her.
Spike was still shifting through the clothes, two outfits of black, a blue dress shirt, white T, two white dress shirts, blue jeans, a red dress shirt like the one that he used to own before Harmony burned it, and a new pair of boots, because Buffy intended to burn his old ones. �Looking at this, you�re no giving me much of a choice on what to wear.�
�Nope.� Buffy said. �The only way you can wear black is if you wash what you wear everyday, so you�re either gonna have to learn fashion, or learn how to do laundry.�
Spike groaned. �Long as their pre-shrunk.�
Buffy stifled a giggle � barely. �Oh, I forgot about that. Poor Spikey. Bad washing machine.�
�Don�t have to get cute, Slayer.�
�Sorry. Happens to everyone at least once. Except I wish I could teach Xander to have a better taste in clothing. He still wears Hawaiian things.�
�I didn�t notice. Real snappy dresser, that boy. He�s a regular James Bond.�
�Well maybe you�re not the most hopeless person who needs fashion advice. At least Willow improved in outfits tenfold. She used to wear striped stocking and jumpers.�
�Huh. Cute. Very old-school, though.�
�Yeah. But that was in high school. Now she�s wearing some pretty neat things. Remind me to ask her wear she shops.�
�Sure. I�ll pencil that in next to your manicure.� Spike said sarcastically.
�Hey. I wasn�t informed I was getting a manicure.�
�It�s called sarcasm.� Spike said.
�Oh, darn. You know, I forgot something.� Buffy said, but kept the joke to herself. �I�ll pick it up tomorrow, when I help mom with groceries. By the way, that means that you�ll be responsible for Dawn and James while I�m out.�
�I know the drill.� Spike said, keeping in step with her for a while, then mumbling, almost reluctantly, �Thanks for the clothes, Slayer.�
�Is that an actual �thank you� and not to my mom?� Buffy asked in mock awe. �Wow, that�s like, the second time I�ve ever heard you say that to me.�
�Yeah, well, don�t get use to it.�
�Calm down, Spike. You�re welcome.� Buffy said, then was suddenly taken off balance as Spike dropped his bag, and shoved into her, groping her. �Hey! What the � you ass- � She was cut off as Spike dusted a vampire, then flung the stake to get another one.
�Sorry.� Spike said, picking up the bag again. �Had to get a stake.�
Buffy opened her mouth, but found no fault to him, so she only picked up her stake from the little pile of dust and put it back into her front pocket, trying to shake off the abrupt attack that Spike had protected her from. �Thanks, Spike. Glad to know that you�ve got me covered. Consider ten bucks off of your debt. Two dollars next time for every vampire you dust. Three for demons. Cause they�re a dime a dozen, you understand. With all the dust out here, no wonder the grass is doing so great. Circle of life.�
*****
�Hey sweetie.� Joyce greeted when Buffy and Spike returned to the Summer�s home. �And William. Looks like you managed to pick out some clothes.�
�Yeah. Buffy was in her element.� Spike said.
�He doesn�t like stores.� Buffy said. �But I threatened him into behaving and picking out good clothing. And I�m proud to say my allowance is totally sucked up for the next year. Actually, probably a few months. But it was worth it. And now I own you, Spike.� She stuck out her tongue teasingly, and Spike made a face and went to go get some blood.
�So I�ll take it that shopping was a success.� Joyce said.
�Yup. I�ve got him regular shirts and over shirts, so he has, like, a dozen possibilities of how to wear them.� Buffy said. �He now has red, white and blue in his wardrobe. I really don�t think I could sway him to orange, green or purple. But it�s an improvement.�
�Great. It�s wonderful to see that you�re getting along so well.� Joyce smiled.
�Heh. Yeah. If you�d have told me that I�d be living and having play arguments with William the Bloody a couple months ago, I would have thought you were possessed.�
�Isn�t it wonderful how much we grow up?� Joyce sighed lovingly. �You used to be such a little girl, playing with your dolls. I still remember the first time you rode a two-wheeler. You said, �Daddy, I don�t want a baby bike. Oh, you were always so grown up.�
�Mom,� Buffy blushed.
�And how you used to take off all your clothes and run through the house naked, and I had to catch you-�
�Mom!� Buffy squeaked. �Please�
�Oh, but you were just a baby.� Joyce said. �Okay. You wouldn�t understand that sort of thing, because you cheated � you never had to take care of James as a baby.�
�Trust me, mom, he�s still young.�
�You missed out on all of the good years. Except for the diapers and the crying. But children grow up so fast, and they turn into teenagers and young adults and then their gone.�
�Except for Spike, who never grows up.� Buffy said.
�But he has grown up. Maybe not in body, but everyone grows up in mind. He�s gone from the �evil undead� to the loving parent. Or at least from the heartbroken to the hopeful.� Joyce said. �Everyone grows up. You have, in so little time.�
�Yeah, well, I had to. Slayer and all. So I had to go from preppy girl to champion of the people.�
�Yes. It was your destiny. And I�m proud.�
�So when does Dawn grow up from a whiny brat to a mature business woman like you?�
�Oh, she�s scheduled to, soon.� Joyce promised. �But first she has to become a bigger brat.�
�Typical.�
Spike came back into the living room, sitting down and sipping his blood. �What about me? Do I get to be a bigger brat for a while longer? Or do I have to go put on my cape and save the world?�
�I�m pretty sure that you�re gonna be a bigger brat no matter what.� Buffy said. �I�m gonna be the one saving the world from neurotics like you.�
�Huh. So how old was Buffy when she outgrew her streaking phase?�
�Hey!� Buffy cried. �You � you listening in with the vampire ears!�
�Can�t help it, you two birds whispering so loudly.� Spike smirked. �Sides� it�s kinda cute.�
�Yeah, well I bet your mother would have some amusing baby stories about you, before you got all bitten and evil.�
�Yeah, bet she would.� Spike agreed, still smirking and not giving anything away as he took another swig of blood.
�Well I know that you weren�t always a bad-ass punk like you are now. Or like I like to call you, a pain.� Buffy said. �So what were you like before you were turned?�
�Gosh, Slayer, it�s just hard to remember that stuff.� Spike lied. �It�s all sort of fuzzy.�
Buffy giggled. �You were the poor kid, weren�t you?�
�Actually, my mum was good lady. Middle class. Like you. Not fabulously rich, but I never went hungry. Quite a nice house, too.�
�Did you have siblings who picked on you, too?�
�A brother, but he moved away fast.� Spike shrugged. �I stayed with my mum. She was ill.�
�Sorry. And what did that make you as a person?� Buffy asked.
�Wouldn�t know how to describe it.�
�Were you like some bad-ass, stealing money to support your mother?�
�Actually, I was like Willow.� Spike decided.
�Willow.� Buffy repeated. �Yeah, right. I can�t imagine you with red hair, or as the shy, research type.�
�Huh. Well, it�s the quiet ones you gotta look out for.� Spike said. �Willow�s all cute now, but I wouldn�t want to think about what she�d be like if she were sired. Remember when Oz broke up with her?�
�Sheesh. Maybe you�re right. And you just went all evil because of a demon.�
Spike bit his lip, not wanting to correct her. �Yeah. Well, Willow went evil over that, and I was the only one who saw it coming. I�d hate to see if anything else happened to her that made her snap. Remind me to be nice to the witch.�
�Yeah, really.� Buffy agreed.
�That�s sad.� Joyce sympathized.
�It�s the past.� Spike said dismissively. �And tell your friends about that and I�ll make sure they hear all of your baby stories and I�ll make sure Angelus comes back.�
�I won�t. Sheesh, Spike. You�re a very touchy person.�
�Yeah. I am.�
�Mom!� Dawn complained loudly, coming downstairs. �Jamie�s messing up my stuff! He got my text book all dirty!� She spotted her sister and glared at her. �Your spawn is gonna pay if he ruins my library books.�
Spike made a low rumbling growl in his chest, getting up to retrieve his child and Buffy sighed, getting up with him. �James, don�t touch Dawn�s Cat In The Hat book.�
She reached the room as Spike was holding up James by his collar, like a soiled shirt.
�What happened?� Buffy picked up a book, which had a few smudged, dirty, fingerprints on the cover and pages. �Ugh. Dawn, this�ll wipe off.�
�No it won�t, it�s ruined.� Dawn proclaimed. �Keep your flea-infested vermin out of my room. It�s my room!�
�Yes, your majesty.� Buffy made a face and tossed Dawn�s book back onto her bed, while Spike carried James out by his collar, setting him down outside.
�What was that about?� Spike asked.
�I just wanted to know what she was reading.� James complained. �I wanted to play, and she wouldn�t let me see.�
�Well don�t touch her things next time. You have to wait until she�s done with her homework.�
Buffy picked up one of James� hands. �Ew. Someone needs a bath. Spike?�
�What?�
�I said �Spike� as in, go give your son a bath?�
Spike stared at her. �You want me to give him a bath in the tub? Don�t you need a special permit to do that? Can�t he do it himself?�
�Sure, if you want him to die.� Buffy retorted. �You don�t even know how to give baths?�
�I know how the sodding bath works.� Spike frowned.
�Come on, kids, I�ll supervise.� Buffy led them both by the hand.
�He can�t take a shower?� Spike complained.
�No, he can�t.� Buffy retorted. �He�s only seven, maybe eight. Don�t be such a baby.�
�Fine. We�ll have a sodding bath.�
�Sodding bath.� James repeated.
�James, don�t repeat words that daddy says.� Buffy said.
�Okay, mommy.�
Buffy leant over to put the plug in, then started the water, making sure it wasn�t too hot.
�Where are the bubbles?� James asked. �Grammy makes bubbles.�
�Okay, you can have bubbles.� Buffy agreed, putting in the bath mix so that bubbles formed. She looked at Spike. �Be useful. Get out a towel and a wash cloth.�
Spike grumbled, but found the items as Buffy helped Jamie take off his shirt and tickled his belly.
�Thank you.� She said to Spike, picking James up and setting him into the tub, shutting off the water. She knelt down and wet the washcloth while Spike watched and carefully washed James� face, and behind his ears. �This is bath 101.� Buffy said to the vampire while she bathed James, who giggled occasionally. �You have to scrub. Little boys tend to get dirty, even when there�s no explainable source of dirt.�
�Right. I noticed that.�
Buffy washed Jamie, getting her shirt wet in the process, then drained the tub and put the towel around Jamie, picking him up. �See? Baths are simple. It�s just a matter of getting Jamie to behave.�
�I�m good.� Jamie pouted as Buffy rubbed the towel over his head, ruffling up his hair, then she bundled him in the towel again and gave him to Spike. �Come on.� Spike followed Buffy into her room, setting James down and watching while she rummaged through a drawer and pulled out some clothes for James, helping him dress, then messing up his hair. �All clean. And don�t touch Dawn�s things with messy fingers again.�
�Yes, mommy.�
�Come on, let�s put you to bed.�
�Aww, I wanna stay up with you.� James complained, knowing that neither Spike nor Buffy would be going to sleep with him.
�Sorry, but it�s bedtime, and only adults can stay up at night.� Buffy said. �If little boys are caught staying up all night their stuffed animals run away and never come back.�
James gasped. �Mr. Gordo! He can�t leave.�
�Then you�d better hug him all night, so he doesn�t.� Buffy advised. �Stuffed animals get very jealous if they don�t get loved.�
James cooperated going to Buffy�s room, half pulling her down the hall, and climbed into bed, searching for the stuffed pig, then hugging it tight. �No running away.�
�Nope.� Buffy agreed, fixing the blankets on her bed and tucking him in. �Mr. Gordo�s happy now.�
�Good.� James eyed her suspiciously, then Spike in the doorway. �Where are you going?�
�Right downstairs, honey.� Buffy assured. �So you�ll be perfectly fine. Just stay here and hug Mr. Gordo and pretty soon you�ll be sleepy.�
�You�re gonna leave me.� James said, but didn�t seem to be upset about it. �Are you two gonna be making out?�
Spike coughed and Buffy looked shocked. �Who told you about things like that?�
�Dawn.� James said. �She said that�s what you did to Riley and that Spike was next. So are you gonna kiss?�
�No.� Buffy looked extremely red and embarrassed. �But Dawn is gonna be so grounded when I tell mom that she�s already poisoning your mind.�
�What does that mean?�
�It means she�s lying. I � I don�t like Spike like that.� Buffy said.
�Oh.� James looked crestfallen. �So where do babies come from?�
Buffy gasped and put a hand over James� mouth. �No more talking. Time for sleeping. And don�t ever listen to Dawn again. Oh, she is so dead.� She got off of the bed and went past Spike, who was torn between amused and disturbed. �Don�t even start.�
Spike turned back to James when Buffy had disappeared. �Did Dawn actually say that?�
�No. She said that she saw you two kissing before, and that�s how I got here.�
Spike chuckled. �Something like that. Maybe when you�re� nineteen I�ll explain to you about that stuff.�
James pouted. �So you�re not gonna kiss her?�
�Ha. No. That kind of impossible only happens once a vampire�s lifetime. You�re special.�
James pouted, then smiled uncertainly, then pouted again. �How old are you?�
�Go to sleep.� Spike shut off the light and pulled the door closed part-way so Jamie caught a glimpse of Spike walking away.
*****
Joyce looked at both of her children, Buffy sitting at one end of the couch and Spike at the other, neither looking at each other. Buffy appeared to just be embarrassed about Jamie�s words, which Joyce had taken care of after talking to Dawn. Spike seemed either bored or troubled, picking at a black chipped nail.
�So, William, bet you�re all excited to be actually living here now.�
Spike looked at Buffy, then back to Joyce uncertainly. �I�m just, uh, trying to absorb it all.�
Joyce nodded, smiling. �Big, glamorous change, huh? Well you�re welcome here as long as you can behave yourself. No wild parties with Dracula or whatever it is you kids do when us old people leave.
�Mom, Dracula doesn�t exist.� Buffy said. �He�s totally fake.�
�Only in the way of saying that�s he�s a regular shirtlifter. Not so much with the smooth sexiness. Poncey bugger owes me eleven quid.�
�Wait a second, you actually know Dracula? Buffy asked incredulously. �What did you step into his freaky black and white movie castle and share a virgin over a friendly game of poker?�
�Something like that. Angelus never trusted him. Should�ve known Vlad was a sell-out. And �is accent isn�t even real.�
�Whatever. Dracula is totally lame.�
�Oh. Thank you for bringing me up to speed.� Joyce said. �How embarrassed would I be if I invited him to an office party?�
�Very embarrassed.� Spike remanded.
Joyce smiled. �Well, gosh, it�s late. I�ll leave you poor kids alone. I�m sure we�re all very busy tomorrow, and you should sleep.�
�Thanks, mom.� Buffy said. �I do have a test.�
�Oh, in what?�
�Social studies.� Buffy grimaced.
�Oh. Well maybe William could help you.�
�Sorry, mom. Spike was born in the era of not-ancient-Rome.�
�There�s actually a lot to know about Romans.� Spike objected. �But now people have found a lot more artifacts than when I had to study for those bloody things.�
�Don�t strain yourself. I�ve done the material, it�s just a matter of remembering.� Buffy said. �Though any potential offers of help get much thanks and acknowledgement.�
�Well, then. Best of luck.� Joyce kissed her daughter�s cheek, then Spike�s forehead and went upstairs, leaving Spike to wipe at his head like a cat that had stepped in water.
Buffy giggled. �Spike, did I ever tell you how very not-vampirish you are? Sad to say, I�ve lost all of my fear of you.�
Spike got up. �I�m going to bed.�
�Wait,� Buffy frowned, tugging his shirt. �What�s up? You�re all cranky.�
�Nothing.� Spike got stared at and sighed. �I�m tired. And you should keep James in your room.�
�Why? He�s good. It�s not like he pounces on you in the morning. I thought you love him.�
�I, I do.� Spike said defensively. �But he should be with you. You�re the one with the money, the good house, the education and the motherly skills.�
�Not this again. Sheesh, Spike!� Buffy cried in disbelief. �You�re so overly sensitive. What was it this time? Mr. Gordo? The bath?�
�Well, geez, Buffy, I didn�t even - couldn�t even provide him with that! So sorry if I kind of feel like a shit father.�
�Spike, you�re a perfectly fine father.� Buffy said. �It�s not like I have first-hand baby experience either. My mom took care of him more than I did. I just did what my mom used to do to me.�
�Yeah, well this all comes naturally to you.�
�You too, except you cut off all your emotions.� Buffy snapped. �Sure, that�s what guys do. Stupid muscle head guys. There�s a time to be brave and heroic and a time to be a human being. You�re just so driven to being away from the race that you locked away everything human. Well grow up. Jamie is human, and he doesn�t need a stone father. You�re not even like that. Just loosen up and be yourself.�
Spike laughed bitterly. �That�s easy for you to say.�
�Spike, you�re not an emotionless person by far. You shouldn�t care about what anyone thinks. You want to be the Big Bad? Well fine. But Jamie doesn�t need that, and I bet there�s nothing in it for you. You want to be his father? Then just do it. Xander gives you hell? If you have a fit about it, it gives him fuel. And people like him will always own you. If you laugh it off, he can�t make nay jokes about it, because he just likes to bother people.�
Spike grit his teeth, making his jaw tic. �What makes you think I care about him, anyway?�
�Because of that tic you always get in your jaw when you�re emotionally affected.� Buffy replied. �But don�t worry, I don�t mention it to anyone.� She got up and stepped over to Spike, her own body protesting, but she hugged him, not letting go until he stopped growling defensively and trying to squirm away. �Have a good rest, Spike, and I hope you feel better in the morning.� She patted his shoulder and left, quickly scurrying up the stairs when she was out of sight, leaving his skin crawling at the alien embrace.
She�d just hugged Spike, and not in a tackling way, or under any sort of spell or dangerous scenario. And with her own free will.
Buffy went into her room, swiftly changing into he pajamas and getting into bed, not wanting to think too much about what had compelled her to do such a thing.