Something New
Chapter 5
Something New
Chapter 5
Buffy woke, slightly confused and clutching at empty bedspread. She knew that a certain little tyke should be in bed with her� it was still morning, after all. But where was � �James?� Buffy frowned, getting out of her bed, only to discover that her room was undoubtedly empty and her door was open.
Oh no.
This was bad.
Buffy went into the hall and flew down the stairs.
�Mom, is Jamie with y-� She gulped the word, stopping short at the view of the tops of two blonde heads.
Her fears were confirmed, and she stepped around to see more than blonde fuzz.
Spike was still asleep on the couch, his head turned to the side and face pressed into the head of blonde hair, which belonged to Jamie, who was held with one arm over him, but still clutched possessively, and Buffy didn�t know whether to be terrified or awed by the sight.
�Shh,� Joyce smiled, coming out of the kitchen. �The boys are still sleeping. Why don�t I fix you some breakfast, dear?�
�Mom, wh-what are--� Buffy was utterly flabbergasted and Joyce put a hand on her daughter�s shoulder.
�It�s okay, sweetie.� Joyce said. �Jamie came down early this morning, half asleep, poor thing, and snuggled up with William. And don�t worry, he didn�t wake him much. William only acknowledged him and went to sleep again. So I didn�t think it was a big deal. And I don�t think William is dangerous at all. Isn�t that wonderful?�
�Uh� y-yeah, in theory.� Buffy said. �We should really wait a few weeks and check in with Giles frequently before we carve anything in stone.�
�Oh, honey, I think you�re overreacting,� Joyce said. �I can�t think of one person who would be able to resist Jamie�s charm. Even someone as rude as you claim William is. William is a very nice young man. You shouldn�t speak so unkindly of people.�
�Spike isn�t a people-�
Joyce dismissed Buffy with a wave of her hand. �Mother knows best. Remember, I�ve still got 18 years on you. Why don�t you go wake up your sister?�
�But-�
�No buts.� Joyce said firmly. �She�ll miss her bus. Now shoo!�
�Ugh.� Buffy left quickly up the stairs. If Spike turned out to be evil, her mom was in sooo much trouble.
Buffy reached her sister�s door in a hurry. �Wake up.� She said impatiently, rapping on the door, then opening it. �Are you deaf-�
Dawn shrieked. �Get out of here you freak!� She hid her pajama-clad form, seizing her blankets. �God! Doesn�t anyone around here knock?!�
�I did knock.� Buffy defended.
�Yeah, but� y-you�re supposed to wait for me to call you in!� Dawn defended. �I was about to get dressed!�
�Why don�t you just have a giant fence so you can have a security guard buzz me in when the Great Princess is finished changing into her royal dork cloaks?�
�Mom wouldn�t let me have one.� Dawn retorted, folding her arms. �And I�m gonna tell her you just called me a dork.�
�I said �dork cloak�.� Buffy replied. �You don�t own a cloak. And there is a thing called sarcasm, Miss Literal.�
�Shouldn�t you be having the hell-spawn of your latest evil one-night stand?� Dawn asked.
�According to mom, Spike isn�t evil.� Buffy defended lamely. �But mom said you can�t bug him today. There�s a slight chance he�ll stab you to death with red-hot railroad spikes.�
�You�re lying.� Dawn frowned.
�No way.� Buffy said matter-of-factly. �Giles told us all about it in his books. 100-and-something-years ago, William the bloody was just a normal guy. Then he got bit and went psycho-crazy. He killed everyone he knew by heating up railroad spikes and stabbing them through people�s heads. Giles even said he�d kill little girls around 13 years old by eating and eviscerating them while they were still alive and screaming. Them he�d hang them up by driving railroad spikes into them and splay them out for everyone to see. That�s why he got the nickname �Spike�.�
Dawn looked a little pale. �Even if that was true � which it totally isn�t! � Spike has that lame chip in his head, so he can�t hurt anyone.�
Buffy paused for a long while, then said passively, �Maybe he does, maybe he doesn�t.� She started to leave when Dawn stopped her.
�Hey! Wait! What�re you talking about? Isn�t the chip impossible to remove?�
�Well, yeah.� Buffy admitted. �But Willow says that the Initiative can just press a button and make those brain busters stop anytime they want. It�s a fact that human blood makes vampires all crazy and in tune with their demons. And Spike has been looking pretty hungry lately. Don�t worry, I�ve got a stake, just in case.�
Buffy left without another word and went back downstairs.
Sisters were so gullible.
To her surprise the couple on the couch were gone and instead a freshly woken, slightly tired looking vampire was sitting in a chair in the dining room with a younger blonde on his knee.
�I have all of the drapes closed downstairs and I�ll close the blinds upstairs when I go to work so you can feel free and welcome to our house.� Joyce chattered to Spike. �Oh, silly me. I�m assuming that you�ll be staying the day. You will, won�t you? I�d just hate to have you head back to your crypt in the middle of the day. It must be so inconvenient there, and I can�t help but think what bad luck it�d be if it were a particularly windy day and a gust just blew away your blanket or your coat. You have you stay here today. I insist.�
�Alright, luv.� Spike agreed. �No need to fret. I�ll stay here until Mr. Sunshine heads for the hills. And thanks and all, letting me stay on the couch.�
�Oh, it�s no trouble at all.� Joyce assured. �Now what would you like to have for breakfast? There�s an assortment of those sugar-ridden cereals Dawn adores, and then the possibility of eggs, pancakes, waffles, French toast? I�m so sorry that we don�t have any blood. I�ll put it on my grocery list��
�Uh, no thanks, pet. No need for any of that mess. Maybe some waffles and, ooh, orange juice is a favorite past time.� Spike looked down at his blonde bundle. �And what do you want, munchem?�
�Cereeaal!� James cried.
�Cereal.� Spike repeated with amusement.
�I guess that seals it.� Joyce decided, going to make the breakfast.
Spike looked up from his child to Buffy. "Huhlo, luv. Sorry I passed out on you. Least the dart's out. I'll leave as soon as the sun sets. You'll never have to see me again."
"No, Spike, you don't have to -" Buffy sighed, realizing just how sweet Spike was to James. "I've been a total bitch, I know. I was rude to you, and I shouldn't have been. I was just scared and being stupid and trying to make it seem like I wasn't the only awful parent. But you aren't awful. You love him and I was jealous that you could just be so great with him so fast. I'm not even sure why I said all of those things. I'm sorry, Spike. I really am."
Joyce wavered and Spike looked at Buffy. "Well I never really did ever 'ave a lil one even when I was alive, and I've been an immature prick for the last 126 years, so you were at least somewhat right to suspect I don't have a sodding clue how to be a dad. But I do now. A little. I forgive you, Slayer. What else can I do?"
Buffy smiled fractionally. "You could've stormed out with Jamie anyway."
"Hmm, don't think so. I've got breakfast goods getting cooked, and 'is cereal. I'd just have to march off later."
"Can I sit?"
"S'your table, Slayer. Your house."
"You're right, it is my house." Buffy sat down. "And after breakfast we will discuss Jamie."
"What is there to discuss?"
"His living situation." She replied. "I'm not letting him live in a stone box where dead things rot."
"You sayin' I'm decomposing flesh now?"
"No, not you, but other bug-infested carcasses and disease-carrying rats and insects." Buffy wrinkled her nose. "It's cold there in the winter, and too hot in the summer. You don't have income or an actual room for him or any place to keep toys or clothes for him. How can he grow up in an environment like that?"
Spike squared his jaw. "I'll go to LA, work with the poof, get an apartment, save up, whatever it takes."
Buffy's face fell, the vampire missing her hints. "You're gonna take him to LA? How're you gonna convince Angel to let you work for him? He'll kill you. You don't have a soul."
"Yeah, but I've got a kid an' I can't kill anyone. He's all about redemption and forgiveness. A few hours of begging him to let go of the past and he'll forgive me for torturin' him that one time, once I put on my pathetic face and show 'im the kiddie."
"You tortured Angel? He'll probably just stake you to save James and keep him for himself. Spike, you're missing the point."
"What point, Slayer? That I'm a shitty pathetic vampire? That I can never live like you 'cause I have to work night hours and my heart don't beat? Laugh it up, Slayer. The dead jokes are getting old. I know the crypt ain't no place for him. I'll get him a better place, no matter how much of a headache I get to protect him."
"Spike! Just shut up for a second! I'm not trying to insult you, I'm just trying to prove my point that the crypt is no place for anything to live." Buffy took a breath, calming herself. "I want to keep Jamie here with me. Before you get all hormonal and object, it'd be for his well-being. I could bond with him more and he'd have a place to sleep and good food to eat and clothes and things, and he could get started to school."
Spike shook his head. "You want to keep him? I'd only get to see him at night, and then you could screw me over and not invite me in."
"You already have an invitation, Spike. If James stays in your crypt, he'll probably die in a few months."
Spike picked at a fingernail. "I live in that crypt, an' it don't hurt me none. Oh, that's right. I'm already dead. So we'll be like a divorced couple, tugging our kid back and fourth for the rest of his life? Don't want him to go through that. Better, I want him to have a normal life. You can have him, Slayer, and all the rights. I'll stay away."
"Spike!" Buffy cried in frustration. "Don't be such a dramatic moron!"
"Buffy," Joyce scolded. "I think you two should withhold this conversation until you can speak privately. Jamie is right there." She gave them a beseeching look and placed cereal and waffle down, then got the orange juice and maple syrup.
"Thank you Mrs. Summers." Spike remembered his manners, and Jamie was already eating.
"Do you want anything, sweetie?" Joyce asked.
"Um..." Buffy shook her head, distracted by the sudden parenting. "No thanks, I'll help myself."
"Alright, well, I'm off to work. Please don't kill or break anything or get the house too dirty. And be good to each other."
Buffy looked ashamed for her mom talking to her like she was being left with Dawn. "Mom, I'm eighteen and Spike is, like, a zillion years old."
"But both act like children." Joyce replied with a small smile. "Try to remember you actually have a real child."
"I'll take care of them, Miss Summers." Spike said, as if she'd been referring to Buffy as a child as well. "Thank you for the lovely waffles."
Joyce smiled. "Well, I really can't be late. Help yourself, just clean up later."
Buffy sighed when Joyce left. "Just eat, Spike. I'll explain later.� She waited for Spike to finish eating breakfast, fiddling with her shirt. How could she have been stupid enough to try to give Spike a chance? He was really just a dumb vicious vampire killer. Right?
�Honey,� Joyce said, coming into the living room with a happy smile. �I think that was very selfless of you earlier, to apologize to William, and I think you were trying to do good. Please just find some patience and faith in him, because I think he lacks that along with any friends. Ever since his girlfriend dumped him, he seemed kind of depressed, but I think Jamie has made such a good impact.�
�Mom, you make him sound like a little kid who needs love.� Buffy complained. �Spike is like two hundred years old, he isn�t six.�
�Well maybe he just never grew up.� Joyce suggested with insight. �You�ll have to start dealing with adult things soon. Home, kids, bills, boyfriends, but he�s your same age, and if I�m right about this vampire thing, he would have died, and when you�re dead you � well, you�re dead. He wouldn�t have had to do all of that stuff. He went from being a teenager to� nothing. At least that�s what you and your friends seem to consider vampires. He�s much more friendly than Angel, and he has such a nice smile and personality.�
�I�ve yet to see this sparkling young man you see instead of a lame punk blood sucking serial killer jerk.�
�Which is exactly what vegetarians say about people who eat beef.� Joyce defended. �Now listen, you have to be good to him, and give him a chance. If you�re just nice to him, I�m sure he�ll loosen up and be himself.�
�That�s what I�m afraid of.� Buffy replied. �What if himself is actually still the guy that wants to make margaritas from my blood?�
�I�m sure it isn�t, honey.� Joyce said confidently. �You have to trust these motherly instincts. But I can�t possibly bear the thought of him living in a crypt. He wouldn�t be able to support a child. He�s still just a young adult, Buffy, he�s oblivious to just how much work it will take. I want him to stay here. At least until we can ensure he�ll be able to get a better place to live � maybe a job.�
�Mom!� Buffy cried. �He can�t get a job, he�s a vampire. He can�t fill out an application because he�s got no address, no experience, no identity. Who would hire a mysterious nameless guy to do any kind of work except maybe for the Mafia?�
�Well maybe he could work for Giles. Helping around in that shop or slaying things.�
�Giles would never hire a dangerous vampire, no matter how cute and helpless Spike may seem.�
�Okay, fine then.� Joyce looked away, cooking up something Buffy wouldn�t like. �Then I suppose he�ll just have to live here.�
Buffy�s eyes bulged. �No!� She hissed. �Absolutely not!�
�Oh, but Buffy, it�ll be so good.� Joyce pleaded childishly. �I can have someone to talk to sometimes when you�re not here. It�d be like boarding � maybe he could do things like help out around the house, or slay! You know I hate you going out so much. William is strong and he can fight the evil things with you. And he�s SO dreamy.�
�Mother!�
�Oh please, Buffy. You need a love interest.�
�I have Riley.� Buffy defended. �And he�d so totally disapprove to have a � guy wandering around in my house. If we let William stay he�ll be eating our food and watching our TV on our couch and using up all the hot water and being a guy. Oh, ugh. Come on mom, this is supposed to be a Girl�s Only house. Remember?�
�I�m sorry honey, I just have to insist that he stays here.� Joyce said firmly. �The second he poses a threat or turns out not to be so nice we can kick him out, I promise, but we have to give him a chance.�
Buffy sighed deeply. �I don�t know, mom. It doesn�t seem so great, keeping Spike here like a roommate.�
�Oh, but we could keep him like a pet.� Joyce suggested. �We could load him up with work and completely use and abuse him.�
Buffy laughed. �No. Vampire abuse is wrong. But I�ll� I�ll try to get along. But the first slip and he�s gone.�
�Of course, honey.� Joyce agreed. �Now I really have to get to work. Dawn!�
�I�m ready, I�m ready, geez! I was brushing my teeth.� Dawn was cut off as Joyce kissed her on the forehead, then did the same to her eldest daughter. �I love you both. Make sure you get to school on time.�
�Yes mom.� Dawn said diligently.
Joyce left finally and Dawn went into the dining room to get her breakfast. �Um� hi Spike. You�re not, um, feeling hungry, right? Waffles all filling? Good, good, so I�ll just� hide any sharp objects, like I normally do in the morning��
Spike only gave her an odd look, then made sure to put all of the dishes in the sink, even wiping up a spill of milk from James� bowl. Then he went to the living room to see Buffy, watching his son skitter over to her lap with a protective gaze.
�Mommy, are you two gonna fight again?� James looked concerned.
�No, baby, we�re not going to fight. How about you go find Mr. Gordo and I�ll talk to daddy.�
�K.� James let her kiss him, then scampered off.
�So, um� Spike.�
The blonde dug his boot into the floor, looking down. �You don�t have to say it, Buffy.�
�Yes I do. I�m sorry Spike. I�m being totally preppy.�
�Oh, well that you can say.�
�I didn�t mean to call you a moron.�
�Seems to didn�t mean a lot of things lately, then.� Spike commented bitterly.
�I mean that you are so frustrating!� Buffy asserted. �But I don�t want you to give up Jamie. I meant to point out that your crypt isn�t fit for a dog. Hell, it isn�t fit for anything, Spike. Your crypt can�t sustain life. Even the cockroaches die when they walk in there.�
Spike still looked down, abashedly mumbling something about moving to Europe.
�So, Spike, later we�ll go by and get your things the hell out of there. If you have any things.�
Spike raised his head, giving her an inquisitive look and she smiled.
�My mom loves you, Spike. She insists. Just don�t leave your crappy boots on the floor or get demon slime on the carpet. You�ll have to smoke outside and be good and get some actual outfits and bathe more than twice a year, but I think that you�d be fine.�
�You� you sayin�-�
�Well, I figure that if we have James, we have to at least be friends. And friends don�t let friends live in toxic waste pits.�
Spike couldn�t help but grin, and looked down again until he could stop it, though the smile made her heart flip and her mind go into strangely pleasant chaos. Spike never smiled unless it was an evil smirk and this grin was pure human delight that made her very confused, but very happy.
�Thanks, Slayer.� Spike managed not to bust his jaw grinning. �Won�t be no trouble. Aw, shit. I really better watch myself, eh? Can�t have no fun with the sheriff as a housemate. Should be a bloody reality series, this.�
�It�s alright, Spike. I�m off duty here.� Buffy assured. �But you�ll have to earn your keep.�
Spike�s face straightened easily. �I�m not doing dishes, sweepin�, vacuuming, laundry, washing windows or any of that Cinderella shit.�
�No, Spike. I can�t imagine you in an apron. You get to do what you do best. Mom doesn�t like me slaying, so you can be my deputy. Help me slay, or take over for a night; the shifts will, uh, shift. Some nights I might just make you baby sit. But you�ll have to mind yourself. If my mom says clean, you clean.�
�Fine. But I�m not to be your sodding doll or slave or bitch. Got it, Slayer?�
�Yeah, Spike. There�s just one more thing before you go asserting your manhood.�
�No. I like my clothing. I won�t change. I like my hair, too. And my duster. And I won�t run sodding errands for you an� certainly not for any kind of feminine hygiene-�
�Shut up, Spike.� Buffy snapped, red faced. �This is serious. I have to tell you this � but I should have before we went into this topic of you rooming here.�
Spike frowned. �I gotta live in a shed in the backyard?�
�No! Spike, about the spell Willow did-�
�The love thing?� Spike raised an eyebrow.
�No, the more recent one to get the initiative off your tail.� Buffy corrected.
�Bloody hell. S�the witch alright?�
�Willow? She�s fine. Listen, Spike, um, the spell� worked a little too well��
Spike stared at her.
�Um, see, it was in too deep, so she did this spell to remove metal and then it came out � and so did the chip.�
Spike blinked several times. �You�re kidding me.�
�No, Spike.� Buffy sheepishly found the chip of metal and plastic and showed it to him. �This thing was in your cerebral cortex frying your brain with electric shocks every time you hurt a human. It�s kind of small, and it�s not 10,000 volts or anything � but in your brain - ow. That�s just cruel. One would figure you�d have brain damage taking this thing out � insert a bad �Spike-Already-Has-Brain-Damage� joke here � but Willow�s spell also healed you up. I�m sorry we laughed before, because in harsh truth it isn�t funny. Not if this thing kept you from swatting people. Must�ve really sucked.�
Spike was still staring in shock at the tiny little ship that had cause him so much agony. �So� I can �urt people again?�
�No!� Buffy stood up angrily. �You can�t. If you hurt Jamie or threaten to hurt or kill anyone, you are dust. Got it? I will not have another serial killer in my town.�
�Shut up, Slayer, I�m just trying to understand. I can �urt people an� not get fried?� He flicked Buffy.
�Ow!�
Spike giggled, and got punched for his efforts. �Ow! �K, still �urts, but not in my head.� He couldn�t help but bust out grinning again, despite his split lip, which only tasted good.
�That better not be an evil smile.�
�Calm down, Slayer. S�not evil. But it could be. I could hurt you and run off with Jamie. But I don�t feel like it. Now I can�t get attacked by those bloody gangs. I�m demon again.�
�No you�re not, Spike. You had this chip out of your head since you woke up. You spoke to my mom politely, had a human meal, held your son in your lap, cleaned up the dishes and you actually smiled for the first time since�� Since Willow made you fall in love with me �Since you found out you could hurt demons. Plus you have bed head.�
Spike touched his hair self-consciously. �It�s the bleedin� chip. I thought I had no choice.�
�But you didn�t fight it, Spike. You told us all you were going to be good. Going to be Jamie�s father. And as far as I know you didn�t spend any amount of time trying to eat him first. You just fell in love with him. Well chip or no chip, Spike, there�s no looking glass to walk through. You�re still here. You have a son who you love, and you�re just moving out of your crypt for him. I�m still offering, but if you drink from a human, you die.�
�But-� Spike tried to remember why he�d ever become a Scooby. Oh, yeah. Because of the chip. The Slayer had pitied him � spared him for information and let him live because he couldn�t fight. He could now. Why did he ever consider staying? �I�m not weak now. I don�t have to live off of your sodding table scraps anymore. I could kill you all before I live with you. Why should I want to live here and fight alongside you?�
Buffy shook her head. �Because you�re 126 years old. You have a son, and the Big Bad thing is getting old. Besides, today chicks dig the responsible guys with the cute children. You and Jamie are so good together.�
�Really?�
�Yeah. Willow and Tara majorly fawn on you two every time you enter the room. They�re always like, �aww, Jamie is so cute, and Spike is so sweet� every time you leave the room.�
Spike went quiet for a moment. �Dunno, Slayer. I like my duster.�
�Okay, your machoness.� Buffy rolled her eyes. �Just today can be like a trial. See how you like it here with Jamie. If you don�t, we�ll never speak of this again, and you leave the country and go be stupid and evil for 130 more years. Just keep in mind that loving your son and being a good father is more manly than getting drunk, gambling and being a pain in my ass.�
�I�ll have to think about it Slayer, cause it�s a real hard decision.� Spike said sarcastically, with a small smile.
�Mommy, look, Mr. Gordo.� James returned, hugging the stuffed pig.
�I see.� Buffy smiled.
�Lemme see that darn piggy.� Jamie giggled as Spike picked him up and looked at Mr. Gordo, then called to Buffy teasingly, �Geez, Slayer, he looks just like you!�
�Hey!� Buffy threw a couch cushion at him in mock anger and Spike laughed, so she hit him playfully.
�Aw! Didju see that, Jamie? She hit me! I was mindin� me own business an� she viciously attacks me!�
�You�re so full of it, Spike.�
He stuck out his tongue at her in reply.
�Okay, now James is officially our baby sitter.� Buffy giggled. �He�s the most mature one here.�
James looked Spike over. �No sugar for you.�
Spike chuckled. �Too late. Maple syrup: my anti drug.�
�Maple syrup is more like cocaine to you.� Buffy retorted. �I never knew vampires could eat human food.�
�Sure, I love human food. Blood is just a necessity. Like water. But human food is fun.�
Buffy shook her head. �You are the weirdest vampire ever.�