Something New
Chapter 1
Something New
Chapter 1
James prowled the cemetery giddily, hopping from shadow to shadow. The moon was full, but vampires dare not touch Super Jamie! With the power of a hundred gabazillion megastrong vampires, James could stomp puddles, snap twigs and make small children cry.
Yes, his daddy was the fastest, smartest, handsomest, bravest, strongest, coolest, bestest vampire in the �tire universe. And from Spike James inherited his strength, his looks, his build and his hyperactive adorable personality. Mummy had ignored and sister was busy, so now James wanted to play. But most of all, he wanted to see daddy and prove mommy wrong � daddy was not a pig, he was a vampire and he was not evil, because then James would have to be evil. Which was okay, but if he was Super Evil Jamie, then someone had to teach him how to kill and be vampire-like.
James had never seen his father, though Buffy had given him some pictures once and had assured him Spike �isn�t so bad�. But he was bored of staying in his room and having to avoid Buffy�s friends, only ever seeing Dawn or Joyce and never getting to play outside. He�d always wanted to visit his daddy � and by always, I mean since two weeks ago, when he first came into conscious existence. Buffy always insisted he stay inside and that was no fun!
This, here, prowling like a creature in the dark where the sights and smells tickled his senses, this was fun.
James spotted the crypt where his daddy lived, practically skipping now.
He eased open the crypt door, intent on showing his daddy how well he could prowl, freezing when he detected motion. He walked in, blissfully dumb to the art of creeping, but silent nonetheless. He inspected the dirt-flecked stone floors, still Super Jamie and everything was painted red in his mind, pretty and exciting and new. Everything was advanced and had some sort of secret trait about it, like the chair was actually a sleeping dragon. All he had to do was creep in and steal the treasure it guarded.
�Hmph.� James grunted as he was suddenly lifted into the air. Spike held a fistful of James� collar in his hand, lifting the small creature that�d been sneaking about his crypt in some sort of childish game that had led him astray like he was nothing more than a puppy being caught by the scruff of his neck.
�Well hello, little snack. Of all the luck.� Spike mused, inspecting the child. Such a shame he had to be chipped now, when delicious little meals came wandering into his home on their own. He stared at the fearful face in awe, finding it a little odd that this child had the same cheekbones he remembered that he himself possessed.
James� eyes slowly lit back up and he kicked impatiently at the air. �Lemme down, Daddy, I wanna play.�
Spike was slightly stunned, staring at the offending child. �What�d you call me?�
�Daddy.� James repeated. �You�re my Sire. I�m your Childe. You�re my daddy.�
�And who�re you?�
�I�m James but I prefer Jamie.� James told Spike happily.
�Jamie, eh?� Spike set down the little boy cautiously as if he was a breakable thing. �Where did you come from, bite-sized one?�
James shrugged. �I don�t know. But Mommy said I was an accident of a spell and that you were my daddy. I wanted to see you.�
�What?� Spike tilted his head. �Who�s your mum?�
�Mum.� James giggled. �Dawn calls her Buffy, or Bossy.�
�Yeah, well you saw me.� Spike replied. �Why don�t you just scurry back to the Slayer and tell her daddy doesn�t want any funny jokes.�
James looked a little hurt. �I�m not a funny joke and I can�t go back there. I�ll be in big trouble. Mommy doesn�t want me to be out here and she doesn�t want you to know about me. She says you�re evil but I don�t think you are. Joyce is nice but I spend a lot of time in my room. I don�t think mommy likes me much.� He confided softly, eyes watering. �I try so hard not to get in the way��
�Oh bugger, don�t cry.� Spike knelt down to be more eye-level with his child. He thumbed away an escaping tear and tilted up James� chin to inspect his child�s resemblance. James had the same sharp cheekbones, built like his daddy. His hair was soft and judging by the toned yellows, he�d become a natural blonde, like Buffy. Curiously, his eyes took after both Spike and Buffy, outlined in blue with a shot of green around his pupils. �My, my. Son of the Big Bad. And quite a handsome little devil he is.�
James smiled proudly as Spike graced him with a touch to his hair. �And how old are you?�
�Six.� James said shyly. �But I only remember being around for a month or so.�
Spike shook his head. �Shame. �And the Slayer kept all of this hush-hush?�
James nodded sadly. �I�m just an accident. But I wanted to see you anyway. I just wanted to make you proud. I can prowl real good.�
�That you can, pet.� Spike agreed. �I�m very proud.�
James smiled happily. �So you�ll let me stay with you?�
Spike faltered, knowing this was a very big decision he couldn�t take back, but he had no time to fully think this through and didn�t want his alleged son to cry again. �Of course, nibblet, but it�s not much-� He was cut off as he was hugged by the delighted six-year-old. �Hey, no hugging.� Spike objected, but James didn�t relent his torture and eventually Spike hugged back, feeling himself melting to this little creature. Spike felt James� downy absently, finding that he had a Buffy-like smell from living with the Slayer.
James wiggled impatiently and Spike let go, studying the small creature that still awed him. James stomped away happily to survey the crypt, inspecting the items that Spike possessed. There wasn�t more than a stone coffin, a chair and a television set but it fascinated James. His eyes fell on the way downstairs and he giddily headed over to check it out.
�Whoa, hold up, nibblet.� Spike caught James� shirt again before he fell into the hole that led downstairs. �You can�t just jump in there. You�ll get hurt.�
James kicked happily and Spike let him back onto solid ground like a lion pondering what to do with his cub. Eat him or raise him. Most certainly James was his. There was no mistake in that. And Spike couldn�t eat James if he wanted to. But if James just so happened to fall and die all by himself� no. �Downstairs is much nicer, pet. Just don�t touch anything.�
James nodded, referring to the ladder rather than just dropping down the hole, of course he had to carelessly skip the last rung in the ladder and jump anyway to show he wasn�t going to be put down, and not touching anything was an impossibility.
By the time Spike caught up with his newly found hyperactive child, James was seated on the bed, staring into a crystal Spike had nabbed from the Magick Box a while back. �Found a fun plaything, did you pet?� Spike asked, sitting down on the bed and peering at the little mirror image.
�Uh-huh.� James stared at the crystal a moment longer and then looked up at Spike adoringly, scooting closer to the bleach blonde vampire. �I like it. It sings.�
�Does it now?� Spike pondered, wrapping an arm around the smaller child, listening to his heart thum away as James snuggled against his chest. �What sort of tune does it sing?�
�Thunder and brightness and horribly beautiful unexpected things.� James sighed, stroking the smooth surface.
�Huh.� Spike pressed his face into James� hair, smelling the baby-powderish scent. He kissed James� head softly, nuzzling against the fuzzy softness. �Is that so?�
James nodded softly and then whimpered fearfully. �It�s cold down here.�
�Shh, pet,� Spike soothed, rubbing James� shoulder, finding a blanket and pulling it over his child. �Daddy�s got ya. Better, luv?�
�Thank you Daddy.� James squirmed, snuggling into the blanket and curling up close to Spike, his head resting on the vampire�s chest.
�Anything for you, pet.� Spike replied, wrapping his arms around the small bundle protectively, wondering when he went from evil vampire to I�m-a-daddy-vampire-and-I�m-cool-with-it. Probably around the time James threatened to burst into tears if Spike didn�t claim him. The crypt must be messing with his mind, making him lonelier than he thought without Dru or anyone to kill and beginning to fear the chip would prevent him from ever creating a Childe to carry on his legacy. But even a little human fuzzball would do.
�I love you daddy.� James sighed, his heartbeat and breath slowing and relaxing as he fell into a peaceful slumber.
Somehow those little words scared Spike slightly, startled to ever hear anyone tell him that. �I �I love you too, pet.�
*****
�Do we know what this thing is?� Buffy asked.
�Well, according to my research this demon is incredibly powerful and could quite possibly be here to um, t-to end the world as we know it.� Giles said, trying to read messy translations in his book.
�So it�ll cause an apocalypse?� Willow asked, her eyes wide in fear.
�Y-yes, that or it�ll try to conquer the world, I�m afraid.� Giles said, removing his glasses to clean them with his handkerchief.
�I saw this thing.� Buffy said. �It had, like, tentacles-�
�Yes,� Giles cut her off, replacing his glasses. �The Paiceria has several long tentacles and two sharp taloned hands it uses as, well, hands and a dozen eyes. It is incredibly fast and strong as well as large. As you�d say, I-it�s incredibly squid-like.�
�And ambidextrous, I�ll bet.� Willow added, only to receive a few weird looks. �Well, if it has, like, eight hands then it�s needs to be very ambidextrous otherwise all of those tentacles are just waving around everywhere. I don�t think I could fight something like that. I�ll be quiet now.�
�No, you�re right.� Buffy agreed. �It could be really coordinated. Something we�ve never faced before. We need to learn a little about it and then take it off guard and chop it�s slimy head off. It is slimy right? This squid thing?�
�The Paiceria is extremely, um, �slimy� as you so tastefully put it.� Giles agreed.
�Ew.� Willow wrinkled her nose. �Hopefully that means this thing isn�t very tough. I mean, skin-wise.�
�Yeah, Buff�ll be able to chop through that baby like it�s butter.� Xander agreed with a grin.
�Hey, guys, k-kind of gr-graphic.� Tara objected softly, feeling a little queasy.
�Sorry.� Buffy winced. �Well, okay, you guys find out as much as you can about this Picera thing and I�ll deal with it tomorrow on patrol. I�ll be damned if this turns into another apocalypse.�
�It�s the Paiceria.� Giles corrected.
�Paiceria.� Buffy nodded, not caring much if it was going to be dead by tomorrow night. �Help me train?�
�Uh, o-of course.� Giles agreed and Buffy led the way to the training room.
�Book time.� Xander announced, grabbing a book from the pile that nearly always cluttered the table.
�We�re looking for a big squid thing.� Willow summed, flipping through her own book. �And to think we almost went to the Bronze.�
�I think that i-it�s better if we, we stay here and help Buffy avoid an apocalypse.� Tara said firmly.
�Which is why we are here, helping Buffy avoid an apocalypse.� Xander said. �Hey, look at this funny little guy.� He held up his book, which illustrated a troll-like little demon.
Tara couldn�t help but laugh a little. �That�s a Shikura demon. They live in the Himalayas, I think, i-in the little nooks and crannies.�
�Huh. Remind me never to hike in the Himalayas.� Xander said, setting down the book.
�Oh, but they�re really cute.� Willow defended. �E-except that� some of them like to shove hikers off of the mountains.� Willow winced and smiled sheepishly. �Probably best not to.�
�Yeah, let�s not.� Xander agreed.
�Hey, I- oh, n-never m-m-mind, i-it�s a Picerin demon. Th-the spelling was close.� Tara blushed and turned her page.
Willow frowned and looked up, hearing little stompy feet and then just as they drew closer, into the doorway � �Hmph.� James was snatched up again by his collar.
�What�d I tell you about running?� Spike asked.
�Don�t?� James guessed.
�Don�t what?�
�Don�t run.� James repeated.
�Good boy.� Spike praised, letting him back onto his own two feet.
�Oh� my.� Willow�s jaw hung open in awe at the small child.
�Hey Dr. Evil, where�d ya get that clone?� Xander asked.
�He�s not a clone.� Spike objected.
�I-I didn�t know you had a son.� Willow stammered. �How long have you had him? I-I�ve never seen him before.�
�Oh, you know, I just kept him in a box and I take him out to play with once in a while.� Spike said sarcastically. �I just found the little tyke. Apparently he�s the side effect of a spell.�
�Oh.� Tara said softly. �D-do you want it revoked?�
�Do I want it - no!� Spike said quickly. �Not bloody likely! I�m not getting rid of the little nibblet.�
�Oh, so you�re going to keep him as a snack?� Xander asked.
�I�ll keep you as a snack.� Spike growled under his breath. �He�s not a snack, he�s a little thing. And pretty bloody brilliant, I might add.�
Buffy walked back out of the training room in the middle of a question when she stopped short, gaping at James, hardly able to register this. �Oh� oh� oh� he�s-�
�Adorable!� Tara cut off.
�Huhwo.� James ducked behind Spike shyly.
�Oh, what�s this now? You�re scared of an itty-bitty little witch?� Spike studied his child, slightly amused.
�No.� James snorted indignantly, stepping back to face Tara, hardly standing to be called scared. �Hello, my name is Jamie and I�m the most adorablest damned thing you�ll ever hope to met.� He turned to stick his tongue out at Spike and then stomped off to check out the shop.
�I don�t know where he picked up that language, but he does have a point.� Spike said.
Willow giggled, watching James. �He�s really cute. Where did you find him?�
�He found me.� Spike replied matter-of-factly.
�Spike�� Buffy slowly realized what Spike was doing. �I can�t watch Jamie for you, I have to slay and do school work.�
�Why would I ask you to watch my son?� Spike snorted. �He might catch on to your tragic taste in men. And clothes. That kind of corruption at his age could scar him for life.�
Buffy stared at Spike open-mouthed in disbelief. �There�s nothing wrong with my taste in clothes! You can�t take care of a child. You�re disgusting.�
�I think you�re wrong, luv.� Spike said, not getting a temper as long as the ball was in his court. �He�s bloody fond of me and I�m only recently learning that children are for more than just nummy treats. And if you�re so worried about his safety � check the head.�
Buffy was getting a little more than flustered and was running out of excuses, and seeing her face turn red was fun. �You�re evil. He�d be better off with Xander.�
Spike shook his head. �I�m not so evil anymore, pet. Evil villains don�t raise children.�
�When did you get the idea to stop being evil?� Willow knit her brow, slightly awed by this.
�Well I�ve got a chip anyway, and Jamie boy can�t kill. He�s human.� Spike said, slightly saddened. �I tried to teach him to kill someone, but he�d only be able to do that if he was able to give old grannies heart attacks by lickin� them to death.�
�It�s not my fault.� James pouted. �I can�t go all �grr�.�
�S�alright, pet, I never asked you to.� Spike assured. �I�m fine with just a son. Never wanted more.�
Buffy was staring at Spike, incredibly flustered now, knowing that Spike enjoyed making her blood pressure spike. �Spike, can I talk to you in private?� She hissed angrily.
�Sure, pet.� Spike agreed.
�We�ll watch Jamie.� Willow offered, smiling at the small child.
Buffy waited for Spike to come along and then shoved him into the training room, shutting the door behind them.
�I think you�re pretty.� James told Willow.
Willow blushed. �Thank you.� She turned to Tara. �Isn�t he adorable?�
�Oh, yeah. You have a young Spike hitting on you.� Xander said. �Tara, you�d better protect your girlfriend.�
�I-I don�t think he�s stealing her.� Tara objected. �O-of course, you�ll have to take very good care of my Willow, young man.�
Willow nudged Tara playfully and then pet James� hair. �So you�re Spike�s child now?�
�Spike is my daddy.� James corrected proudly. �He�s the bestest and he�s wicked strong.�
�Oh?� Willow smiled.
�Uh-huh. He showed me how to kill.� James boasted.
Willow�s smiled faded slightly. �He did?�
James nodded. �He killed this big ugly thing with a gazillion arms and eyes. I helped.�
Xander closed his book with a smack. �Well, that�s that. The apocalypse was diverted by an ex-evil vampire and his munchkin son.�
�Xander,� Willow rolled her eyes.
*****
�Buffy, Spike, what on earth-�
Buffy slammed Spike against the wall and then stepped back angrily. �What the hell are you doing? You can�t raise a kid!�
�What the bloody hell do you care? You�re the one treating him like a dirty little secret.� Spike snarled. Buffy gaped, realizing now. �That�s right, Slayer, he told me all about you. He found me and begged me to let him stay.�
Buffy glared at Spike, working her jaw. �Oh you�ll let him stay all right. You�ll probably keep him for a week or so, get bored and then there�ll be a convenient little accident.�
�I don�t think so, Slayer.� Spike grit his teeth, extremely pissed off at that remark. �He�s my son, I wouldn�t hurt him. That�s your category.�
�What�s that supposed to mean?� Buffy demanded.
�You�re the one who kept him all cooped up for a month.� Spike growled. �You treat him like you�re ashamed of him.�
�I�m only 18!� Buffy snapped. �I was pregnant! And if that isn�t scary enough, try being pregnant by some evil undead thing and not knowing whether or not the baby is gonna be some horrible ugly six-headed thing with wings and a tail. Or even worse, waking up and being in the sixth trimester over night. Yeah, Spike, cause it would be real nice to come back to my friends a week later. �Hi, Will, oh yeah, your spell had some side effects. First Spike and I had sex while under the delusion that we were a couple and then � pop � out came a baby!��
Giles coughed violently, taken by surprise. �I beg your pardon?!�
�At least I�m trying to atone for this instead of locking him up and pretending his doesn�t exist, hoping that somehow he�ll disappear and everything will be fine.� Spike barked. �That�s real mature of you, Slayer.�
�Well if you want to take care of your demon spawn, then fine. You can have him.� Buffy decided. �He was a mistake. Just like you. Won�t that be a funny sight? Two mistakes.�
Spike inhaled deeply, gritted his teeth angrily. �Fine, Slayer. Why don�t you let me know when you grow up and get that pretty little head of yours out of your ass.�
Buffy gasped lightly and then grit her teeth back. �Don�t hold your breath, Spike. I know you�re really desperate, but I�m not going to be with you just to take care of your stupid little child.�
�I don�t want you to touch my child.� Spike snarled. �I don�t want you anywhere near him. But maybe someday you can explain to him why he doesn�t have a mother.�
�I don�t have a son.� Buffy retorted, folding her arms.
�That�s right,� Spike narrowed his eyes hatefully. �You don�t.� Buffy could only stare at Spike in disbelief and he decided this conversation was over. Spike pulled open the door to find James waiting for him, a little hurt from hearing most of the conversation, and Buffy started to realize what she�d just said.
�Daddy,� James whimpered softly.
�Shush, baby, s�alright.� Spike soothed, picking up his child. �You didn�t hear a thing.�
�Spike-� Buffy stepped forward.
�We can go do something.� Spike continued coaxingly, ignoring her.
�Spike, I�m sorry.� Buffy insisted.
Spike turned on her, glaring. �You�ve already made it pretty clear what your thoughts are about this.�
�I was scared, Spike!� Buffy cried. �It wasn�t normal!�
�So am I to blame?� Spike asked. �Is he to blame?� Buffy faltered and Spike set his jaw. �It takes two, Slayer. Let me know when you feel like growing up and taking responsibility for your actions.�
�Who made you Mr. Mature?!� Buffy demanded after the exiting vampire, flustered. �Not too long ago his only concern was to kill me or try to without getting his ass kicked humiliatingly.� She looked to her friends for help, but no one had a clue what was going on.
�Maybe the chip fried his brain.� Xander offered.
�Xander. He�s really nice and Jamie is so cute. Maybe he�s changed.� Willow thought. �Or whatever spell he cast did this and altered him somehow.�
�Buffy,� Giles interrupted, a little distraught by the conversation he�d been forced to endure.
�He didn�t cast a spell.� Buffy sighed. �I�ve gotta go find him and beat some sense into that over inflated head of his.�
�Buffy!� Giles barked, silencing the Scoobies. �I believe we have a lot to talk about.�
�Giles, please.� Buffy glanced at her friends, pleading with her eyes for him to do this in private.
�That � little boy is your son?� Giles breathed, uncertain what else to call James.
�Buff,� Xander looked at Buffy, surprised, as her face grew bright red.
�No way.� Willow frowned. �Jamie is six. Buffy would have had to have been with Spike when she was ten. And not only is that really creepy, but it�s also impossible. And � Spike is a vampire.�
Giles looked at Buffy for an explanation and she felt everyone�s pressing eyes.
�Willow, it was the spell that you cast.� Buffy said. �I-I know you didn�t mean to, but Spike and I actually thought we were engaged and-�
�You had sex with Spike?!� Xander blurted.
Buffy winced, biting her lip. �I had the same reaction, but Spike isn�t supposed to be able to have children, but Willow�s spell did something and the baby grew really fast and I didn�t know how I could face you guys again. I didn�t even know if the baby was human.�
�Gosh, Buffy, how could you think we�d treat you like a freak and make funny jokes?� Xander asked. �I see your point.�
�I don�t know.� Buffy sighed. �Mom was understanding but disapproving and Dawn thought I was a total dead beat. And we always talk about how gross Spike is and evil and I thought you�d all be disgusted with me. But mostly I wanted to keep James away from him. Thought Spike would kill him or eat him or something. I didn�t know what to do. You usually get nine months to think about what you�re going to do.�
�I�m terribly sorry, Buffy.� Giles apologized. �I wish you could have had more confidence in us to understand.�
�I�m sorry too,� Willow said. �I didn�t know that my Will-Be-Done spell would have that effect.�
�It�s okay, Will.� Buffy insisted. �Spike is right. I just gotta take responsibility. I�m glad I came clean and I hope you guys can deal.�
�O-of course.� Tara nodded.
�I can understand.� Xander said. �He�s got that hairless thing going on. It�s the muscles, isn�t it? I�ve been meaning to hit the gym myself.� He held up his arm to show off his �muscles�, lifting up his flab to look like he was huge.�
Buffy couldn�t help but laugh slightly. �Thanks guys. I�m glad you don�t think I�m just another dumb teenage mother.�
�Oh I didn�t say that.� Xander replied. �I was just saying I can see how the pale, hairless, bleached, well-muscled yet scrawny and awkward vampires can be attractive to young girls such as yourself.�
Buffy gave Xander a look and he held up his hands in self-defense.
�So� wow. What was it like?� Willow asked. �I-I mean, having� the togetherness with Spike��
�Gross!� Xander answered for Buffy. �It was obviously horrifying and disgusting and-�
�Incredible.� Buffy sighed dreamily, sitting down.
�Incredible?� Xander echoed. �Where do you get incredible? Are you sure you had sex with our Spike? William the Bloody, Spike? Who are we talking about now? I must be dreaming.�
�Wow.� Tara breathed. �I-I mean, that�s good. That i-it was g-good. I-I mean,� She blushed. �What w-was it like?�
�Was he better than Angel?� Willow asked.
�Well� I-I don�t know.� Buffy lowered her eyes. �Angel was good but Spike definitely knew a lot more-�
Giles cleared his throat loudly and Buffy cowed, quieting down. �However good a-a lover Spike is is not the issue.� Giles cringed at his own words but moved on briskly. �You do need to take responsibility for your actions. I-I will not stand to have that vampire anywhere near children.�
�Geesh, Spike doesn�t get to have any fun anymore, does he?� Xander remarked.
�Giles, he�s not gonna hurt Jamie.� Willow insisted. �He really likes the little guy. A-and Jamie is so cute, h-he just likes hanging out with his dad.� She smiled shyly.
Tara nodded. �I-it�s true. Spike was h-happy. I-I don�t think I�ve ever actually seen him� happy.�
�Well, he wasn�t happy when he left.� Buffy said. �I should really go and see if I can catch Spike at his crypt. And� apologize, I guess. I don�t know if vampires can actually have and care for children.�
�Actually, it�s very realistic for a Sire/Childe bond.� Giles opted. �However that generally involves training of a Childe to become evil, and a Sire can do whatever he pleases with his Childe � even torture.�
Tara looked at Willow wide-eyed and scared, then clung to her girlfriend�s arm. �Spike isn�t a Sire.� Willow said firmly. �Jamie was born. And Spike isn�t evil anymore.�
�Or so he says.� Xander added suspiciously.
Buffy sighed. �I�m not going to sit here and speculate. I�m going to go find Spike before he does something stupid. Something like, I don�t know, trying to feed Jamie blood or leaving his trusty bottle of Scotch lying around. Thanks guys, but � I-I�m gonna go handle this now.�
�Oh� wait.� Willow stood up with Tara and each hugged Buffy in a heart-felt way. �W-we�re here for you.� Willow informed. �That�s what friends do. I-I should�ve never cast that spell.� Tara squeezed Willow�s hand reassuringly.
�It�s okay.� Buffy insisted. �Thanks guys. I�d better go now.� Buffy grabbed her coat and headed out the door to find the bleached vampire.
She headed through the cemetery first and found Spike�s crypt. Buffy tried to still her racing heart, referring to knocking politely on his door � something she never really did. When he didn�t answer Buffy kicked open the heavy door, expecting to find Spike on the couch, chewing on James� neck, but he wasn�t upstairs. Buffy headed downstairs, thinking that maybe Spike had gone to bed or that other possible horrible things were happening, but downstairs. Buffy was only greeted by an empty crypt, and the bed empty except for an odd crystal that Spike had stolen from the Magick Box.
Buffy cursed, turning on heel and heading back upstairs, leaving the crypt to head home.