Something New
Chapter 7
Something New
Chapter 7
�Dawn, don�t touch anything Buffy warned her sister when they entered the Magick Box. �If you break it, it�s coming out of your allowance and I�ll make sure you�re grounded for a month because this is Giles� new shop.�
�I know, I know.� Dawn sat down. �Sheesh.�
�Hey Buff.� Xander greeted from where he and the two Wiccans sat at the research table. �How are things.�
�Ugh,� Buffy groaned, remembering her morning talk about her mom stealing Spike�s clothes, probably when he was still in the shower. She didn�t want to think about that too much. �I came home last night and Spike was watching TV - totally naked with only a towel and no regards for anyone else in the house! He just makes me so mad!�
Everyone froze in shock.
�Whaa?�
�Dear lord, Buffy, is Spike still ill?�
�No-� Buffy frowned, remembering she�d only told Willow about Spike�s staying at the house. The redhead looked highly amused, trying to contain a big smirk. �My mom insisted that he stayed. And she stole his clothes while he was in the shower to wash them. So immature.�
�Dead Boy Jr. is staying at your house?� Xander gaped, looking like a dumb fish.
�Well, yeah. Since my mom just adores him. I told him about the chip, and he didn�t go all psycho killing-spree. Oh, but I�d better stop at the butcher shop. His last four meals have been human food.�
�Buffy, I really must protest.� Giles said. �This is William the Bloody. Killer of Slayers, Scourge of Europe, mass murderer.�
�New father.� Buffy finished. �Look, I know Spike was bad � but I think that James may have some magick properties that turn him good. The second he posses a threat, he�s dust. But so far he�s still been pathetic and� cute. It�s no act. The only act he had was the Big Bad front. Now he�s just really� domestic.�
Xander blinked. �Well I still think we should get him a shock collar.�
�So Buffy, what happened?� Willow pressed eagerly.
Buffy shrugged. �He�s been all normal. He talks with my mom and the other night he cooked and hasn�t been angry or �grr� or anything. He wants to move into my basement.�
�What?� Giles spluttered. �Is that safe?�
�My basement is clean.� Buffy pouted. �It�s better than his crypt. He loves Jamie, and he wants to keep him. We don�t want Jamie to have to live in his filthy crypt or be pulled back and fourth like we�re a divorced couple. That hole isn�t even fit for Spike.�
Giles sighed deeply. �This is dangerous, Buffy. Any moment his demon could get fed up with any of you. Vampires have a tendency to kill their Childer.�
�I�ll find a spell.� Willow offered. �Something so that we�ll know when he stops being so pathetic.�
�D-did your mom really st-steal Spike�s c-clothes?� Tara asked with a smile.
Buffy groaned. �Yeah. And those two are hounding me about Spike being hot. I swear, mothers and sisters are so annoying.�
�Well he is gorgeous.� Dawn defended. �And I�m not the annoying one. While you were getting all gross and demon-gunked, Spike told me all about London and he did my nails.� She looked at the pink sparkles admiringly.
�Oh my god.� Buffy blinked. �He did what?�
Xander giggled madly. �Buff? Are you sure our vampire friend isn�t a little� fruity?�
�He does do his own nails and hair.� Willow considered with a laugh.
�Noo way. Spike is 100% hetero. Maybe 98% but no less.� Buffy said firmly. �He just has too much time on his crappy black-nailed hands.�
�Maybe you should teach him how to knit.� Xander snickered.
Willow gazed at Dawn�s hands. �I wonder if he�d do my nails.�
�Oh no,� Dawn groaned. �Spike was right. Your really will want your nails done.
Buffy looked worried. �Where do you buy those little shock collars? Maybe one with a bell��
* * * * *
As soon as they got home Dawn went upstairs to go write in her diary.
Buffy fixed her hair and hung up her jacket, surprised to see Spike sitting on the floor in the living room with James sitting between his legs while he ran his fingers through the boys blonde hair to give it a punk look.
Buffy watched for a while, then spoke. �I don�t understand you, Spike.�
�What�s to understand? Look.� He spiked up tufts of James� hair. �He�s a natural.�
�No, Spike, I don�t understand you.� Buffy corrected. �Aren�t you supposed to kill me?�
�Pft. Yeah.�
�So why aren�t you?�
�Do you want me to?�
�No.�
�Alright then.� He went back to playing with James� hair.
�But aren�t you still supposed to swagger around like a dork and say, �I�m bad�?�
�Got bored with that. I�m not evil anymore.�
Buffy frowned. �How can you change that easily?�
�I�ve always kept up with the trend. I just like the 80�s. I change easily, I�ve just been evil for 126 years. Now it�s getting old. I want to play out this scene. Full-time father, part-time champion of the people. Protector of the Greater Good. Hey! I just remembered why I was evil for the last century!�
�You can call yourself a renegade vampire vigilante.�
�K.� Spike agreed. �That sounds less poofy.�
�Poof.� James echoed.
�How was your day?� Spike asked pleasantly.
Buffy laughed at the irony and sat down on the couch. �School sucked. It dragged on forever. I got a B+ on a test, though. And apparently you give manicures.�
Spike groaned. �I told Dawn it was a one-time thing.�
�Huh. Well Dawn�s like that. Now Xander thinks you�re gay.� Buffy giggled.
�Wonder what �e�d do if I kissed �im. Just to tease �im, like. Bet he�d piss himself.�
Buffy stared at the vampire. �Probably. Would you actually do that?�
�If I got to see him squeal like a girl, yeah.� Spike chuckled. �The unlife can get boring.�
�Booooring. Yup-yup.� James agreed. �Can I have my nails done?�
�Why would you ever want that?� Spike asked, running his fingers through James� hair.
�Cause yours are black an� Dawns are pretty.� James replied.
Spike pursed his lips. �Yours are fine already. But I can make them shiny.�
James� eyes lit up at the word �shiny�. �K.� He frowned as Spike continued to play with his hair, and he turned to look at his father. �Daddy, why don�t I have hair like yours?�
�Cause you got your mother�s good looks, thank god.� Spike retorted, making Buffy smile.
�Mommy is very pretty.� James agreed happily.
��for a Slayer.� Spike gave in.
Buffy lightly thumped Spike on the head. �Keep it up, I�ll wedgie you into next week and keep all the blood I bought for the poor starving vampires.�
�Bloody hell,� Spike made to move, but James as sitting too close. �Blood? You got me blood?�
�Nah, I just heated up some strawberry syrup. What else to vampires drink?�
�Where? Come on, Slayer, I�m starvin� ere. Bloodless for a week an� all.�
�Week?� Buffy echoed. �You�ve only been here a day.�
Spike shrugged. �S�hard to get enough money to buy blood. Cheaper to get fast food stuff �specially with the little �un �ere.�
�Oh.� Buffy frowned. �Well, you�ll have plenty of blood as long as you do your chores.�
Spike pouted. �I was nice to your mum, did your sis� nails, cooked and baby sat without being asked.�
�Well I think that earns you a couple cups, don�t you?� Buffy patronized, getting up and going into the kitchen.
Spike sat James on the couch, told him to stay and followed her. �Is this how it�s always gonna be? I do your chores and you pat me on the head and regulate my blood intake?�
�Spike, I hit you earlier.� Buffy corrected. �Maybe the chip numb your nerve endings.�
�You know what I mean.�
�I do. And no. You can have blood whenever you�re hungry. But I�m paying for it.�
�K.� Spike eyed the blood packet that she was pouring into a mug, the smell intoxicating to him. �What�s tonight? Babysitting? Manicures? Slaying? Bet I�d be a real good sparring partner.�
Buffy put the mug in the microwave and folded her arms. �I don�t really care, Spike. We�ll see what happens. Like I said, your shifts will shift.�
�Hi honey.� Joyce smiled, finding the two in the kitchen. �Hello, William.�
�Huhlo, Joyce.� Spike gave his best smile. �Pretty as ever, luv. You really glow.�
Joyce blushed. �Up and about now?�
�Well, night blooming and all that.� Spike shrugged. �Your sunset is my sunrise.�
Joyce nodded her understanding. �Are you two going Slaying?�
�I dunno, mom. We were trying to think of what to do tonight.� Buffy replied.
�Well,� Joyce began in a tone mothers use before listing chores. �I think you can go get William�s things to move in, and perhaps some new clothes. You could also clear out some of the basement while you�re at it, set up a spot for him and change that light bulb. Then you can take out the trash.�
Buffy stared at her. �What exactly do you do around here?�
�Simple, dear. I make the money and pay the bills.� Joyce replied. �Three children, no heavy lifting.�
�You have it all figure out.� Spike admired.�
�Yep. Well you�d better get a move on. If you don�t make your quota you don�t get an allowance.�
Buffy pout and walked to the trash, tying the bag and hauling it up.
Spike chuckled, amused. �This is a different side of the Slayer.�
�Can it, Spike, or I�ll make you carry the bed by yourself.� Buffy huffed, taking the trash outside.
Spike smiled sweetly at Joyce. �What else can you make �er do?�
�Well sometimes I make her watch her sister and sit back and giggle while they fight.� Joyce conspired. �And sometimes I make her actually clean her own room.�
�Must be fun, that. Ordering people about. Used to have minions. I hate them. All hunger and no brains. Master vampires like meself can do anything � we�ve got all the smarts. Minions can�t even run a sodding errand. It�s a bleedin� shame.�
Joyce shook her head. �You should�ve tried to having kids sooner. Once you get past that fifth year, you can make them pick their own toys.�
Spike chuckled.
�What are you laughin� at?� Buffy asked.
�Your mum�s funny.�
Joyce smiled. �Well I have to go and put in a few extra hours. I anticipate a suitable living space for William when I return.�
�Yes mom.�
The microwave went off and Spike hungrily retrieved it, sipping the hot liquid.
Joyce pleasantly kissed her daughter. �Tell Dawn I�ll e back later. William, honey, could you make sure you clean those cups when you�re done with them? Blood clots. You know. Thanks, you�re a doll. Don�t kill each other. Love you.�
Spike looked at Buffy in shock when Joyce left. �Your mom is pure evil. Gotta love that in a woman.�
Buffy shook her head. �Finish your blood clots and wash up, William. Then we�ll move your crap into the basement.�
* * * * *
�Do you even have anything worth saving?� Buffy made a face entering the crypt. �We could always just save the bed and burn the place.�
�Oh, yeah. Set my things on fire in a stone oven. Very clever, Slayer.�
�Whatever. Let�s do this fast.�
�Hey. This place is cool.�
Buffy whirled around at Dawn and James. �I thought I told you to stay outside.�
�James didn�t like the dark.� Dawn retorted. �We could be eaten alive out there. It�s way cooler in here, anyway.�
Spike watched Jamie go downstairs and shrugged at Buffy, following.
�How the hell do we get a bed out of here?�
�Hm. Fit down �ere easier. The bed must�ve grown.�
�Very funny, Spike. Maybe we can fold it kind of in half.� Buffy considered. �Rope would help.�
�Rope,� Spike walked off and Buffy gave her sister an incredulous look.
�Will Spike want all of these candles?� Dawn picked up a fat red candle, smelling it.
�Probably.� Buffy replied. �Except now we have light bulbs.�
�Rope.� Spike returned, untangling a bundle of fat rope that didn�t yield. �Oh� sodding hell.� He dropped it in frustration and looked at Jamie. �Can�t be on the bed, pet.�
James pouted, then got off, taking his crystal with him.
Spike stripped the sheets off of the mattress and threw them on the floor with all of the pillows.
�Sure have a lot of pillows for a guy.� Dawn commented.
�Yeah, well I�m not like my guys who�ll sleep on a block of cow dung. May live in a crypt, but I like to keep my things fairly neat. For a guy. And if I have to live in a crypt � or your basement � it might as well be fluffy.�
�You�re weird.� Dawn said. �But in a good way. And a just plain weird way, too.� She lifted the sheets and wrinkled her nose. �Ewww. Is that blood?�
�What do you think it is? Ketchup?�
�Ew.� Dawn dropped the sheet. �Yours?�
�Some. Some�s human.� Spike replied indifferently, then noticed Buffy�s look. �Bagged only, I swear. And only on occasions. Mostly pig�s blood for me. Not nearly as much quality.�
�You had human blood with Jamie around?�
�No I didn�t. That�s an old spill. Haven�t touched the stuff for years. Do you realize the cost of bagged human blood around here? Hungry vamps who can�t get a bite and hospitals with survivors needing serious blood transfusions? Can barely afford any food half the time. Only thing I �ad was buying James some fast food. Cheaper, that�s for sure.�
�As long as you�re not exposing him to human blood.� Buffy said. �And by the way, ew. You�re getting new sheets.�
�Whoopee.� Spike picked up the rope again, pulling until it was untangled and went to the bed. �How do you wanna do this Slayer?�
�Oh god.� Buffy tried not to think about the irony of Spike asking her something like that in his bedroom. �We�ll tie the rope around and pull it tight. Between you and me, it shouldn�t be too hard to do. We can make Dawn and James carry boxes.�
�Hey.� Dawn frowned.
�Sorry. You didn�t come here to be pretty or criticize Spike. You have to help, too.�
�You�re the one to talk.� Dawn muttered, going to find the nearest, easiest thing to carry.
�Yeah, I�m the only pretty one �ere.� Spike retorted, lifting the mattress to put the rope around it. �Side�s a certain girl who can kick my ass.�
�Good choice.� Buffy said, satisfied that Spike had felt her glare. �How do you want us to pack your stuff?�
�What do you mean how? Put them in a box or something.�
�Spike, most people separate their things by clothing, pictures, CD�s, toys, books and so on so that way you can find which box has what.�
�Well I don�t have that much to sort. Just put everything you can find that might be relevant in a box. It�ll probably only take two boxes.�
�Okay.� Dawn went upstairs and returned with one of the boxes they�d brought, then cheerily went to one of Spike�s little tables made of an array of crates and stools stolen from the dump. She started placing all of the candles and trinkets into the box � mostly stolen items, and probably from the Magick Box because she�d never seen a guy with so many candles who never purchased anything from the Magick Box, and it made her wonder if he didn�t steal it, where did he shop for candles? She didn�t mention anything, because that would only potentially get him in trouble and then he�d have to return everything or most things, and then if they noticed other things missing, they�d know about her occasional thefts, too.
�I don�t think we should even bother to bring your sheets.� Buffy said. �They�re covered in dirt and blood and god-knows-what.� They�re better off with we burn them, just to put them out of their misery. And your pillows smelt like� you. Spike pillows. Ew.�
�Very funny, Slayer.� Spike muttered.
�Well you don�t have to get grumpy. I�m just saying. Maybe hygiene doesn�t just come first to you.�
�Yeah, Slayer. I�m just naturally a pig in mud. Because I obviously ignore my wonderful stainless steel bathroom and hot running water and jump in bed muddy or bleeding �cause I like to.� Spike said sorely, tossing an ax into Dawn�s box, then a dagger.
Buffy went pale, realizing she�d just become a hypocrite to her words. �Spike, I�m sorry, I wasn�t thinking-�
�Yeah, well� big difference, isn�t it?� Spike sighed. �Let�s just get the hell out of this god-forsaken hole.�
Buffy grimaced, but packed up a few forgotten books and a small surviving collection of CD�s that Spike couldn�t listen to. She couldn�t imagine anyone living in a place like this.
*****
Joyce came home later that night to find Buffy having some leftover chicken. �Hi mom. Good day at work? Er, night?�
�It was okay.� Joyce gave. �Better, because it was only me and the specialist crew.�
�So it�s like work, minus all of the annoying, bitchy people?�
�Yup. It�s practically like having a girl�s night, except for a few guys.� Joyce teased. �Well did you have a fun co-ed night? And I should hope that William has a suitable living space?�
�Yup. We had to chisel off a few hundred pounds of dirt from his stuff, but we saved what we could. The rest was hopeless.� Buffy said dramatically. �We actually had to throw out his sheets. Even an expert washer like you wouldn�t be able to hoard enough bleach and fragrance to get the stains out. But he�s a guy, and a fighting vampire guy, who probably sleeps with his docs on from time to time. So what can you expect if the bed�s a little dirty? I mean, there were grass stains, even.�
�Well that�s odd. But he can use some of ours. As long as he has his own space.�
�He does. You know what�s awesome? If he�s bad, you even have the authority to ground him and send him in time-out to his room.� Buffy laughed. �The only thing we have to do is buy him some clothes, which he will pay off, and I intend to add a bit of color to his wardrobe.�
�You�re very evil.� Joyce said, amused.
Buffy chuckled. �Yup. Bet I can even persuade him to wear blue and white.�