Something New
Chapter 10
Something New
Chapter 10
Buffy followed home after Spike not too far behind, after being dismissed from patrol. �Mom, did Spike come back here?�
Joyce was wringing her hands. �What did you say to him?�
Buffy frowned. �Where is he?�
�In the basement.� Joyce replied. �Oh, Buffy, you should�ve seen his face.�
Buffy bit her lip and went to the cellar door, reaching for the door knob, and it came off in her hand before she could even turn it, all of the screws undone. She peered through the hole it left, seeing Spike sitting on the top step against the door, holding a screwdriver. �Spike, you�re so immature.� Buffy said, straightening up so she could hit the door.
�Go away. Not taking any visitors tonight.�
�Spike.� Buffy sighed deeply. �What was that all about? Willow was freaked.�
�Nothing. It�s just your solution. The Initiative agenda. Go find �em and kick their arses.� Spike said. �You�ve gotten all you need me for.�
�Spike, how is that our solution?�
�I told you everything I sodding knew!� Spike�s voice raised in pitch, and he fixed it quickly. �They�re not selling Girl Scout Cookies. They�re not trying to make the world a friendly place one chip at a time. They clearly don�t care about the demon race, and that means we could all be annihilated in an instant.�
�Spike.� Buffy rested her forehead against the door. �Your chip is gone. You can�t be threatened by them anymore.�
�Yeah, and all of six kids are gonna keep me or anyone else � Jamie � gonna keep �em from being taken next? Or again?�
�There are only four of us.�
�I feel really better knowing that, Slayer.� Spike said. �But you forget that the Watcher and your mum aren�t even half of my age.�
�Spike, the possibilities of them abducting you again are really slim.�
�Not really. That�s aliens, Buffy. These guys got my number. They know my face.�
Buffy thought about this for a moment. �How can you be so terrified of them? Don�t you normally scoff at anything human?�
Spike laughed bitterly. �Yeah. But you really have to be almost two hundred years old to realize how truly absurd it is, and in all that time you will never worry about being kidnapped or anything, cause life used to be about fun and blood. Course, you�re used to it. I should be, too. Life is just one bad event after another. Thought I was golden after death but I guess there really are things worse.�
�Spike, you don�t even make sense.�
Spike took a breath. �Most of life is smooth. And two hundred years as the top of the food chain was a very smooth life. So excuse me if I don�t like tumbling to the bottom all of a sudden. Don�t exactly have my wit about me yet. Though I should. It�s not like this is the first time.�
Buffy tensed. �What do you mean it�s not the first time?�
�Just about� sixty years ago. Got abducted before. Bit different, though. And it was by sodding Nazis. Angelus was there, but I got to eat a couple of the bastards last time.�
�So the government just has some sick fascination with you?�
�It�s not my fault the sodding government is obsessed with my species, and I just so happen to be the best specimen. Then it was papers � I never got chipped, and I thought for sure I�d burned those. Bastards probably had copies.�
�Sorry, Spike.� Buffy said. �Are you gonna let me actually talk to you or just stay in there all night?�
�I�m a vampire, I�m gonna stay in here.� Spike said. �Lemme know when you blow up their nuclear core or something.�
Buffy sighed, putting the knob back into the door. �Fine. But you �d better fix this door.�
*****
�William, honey?�
Joyce knocked gently on the door and tested the knob, opening the door and going downstairs.
Spike immediately straightened up. �Hey, Joyce. Looking for something?�
�Just you, dear.� Joyce replied, sitting down on the edge of the bed. �You okay?�
�Buffy told you about my outburst.� Spike stated. He already knew.
�It sounds awful, what those people did to you.�
�I�m sure I deserved it. Biting people and all.�
�No one is allowed to judge others.� Joyce said reasonably, putting her hand on Spike�s knee. �I don�t care how many permits or special rules they got from the Supreme Court or the president himself. There is no excuse. And I think they are all very unreasonable. But that�s my opinion.�
�Yeah? Well, mine too. Cept a bit more with cursing and damning to hell.�
�Don�t fret.� Joyce said. �Now they can�t track you, and they can�t control you. You�re all free and back to the wild � except this is your new habitat, huh?�
�Yeah. Reckon it�s kind of like those animal shelters, cept I�m the one that can�t be released.�
�No, not at all, you just like it here.� Joyce said, lightly teasing. �And I�ll even make Buffy bury the cursed piece of wires a million miles away from here, if it makes you feel better.�
�Not that I�m all obsessively worried about it, but that might be a good idea. Nice, long drive into the country, destroy it and burn the pieces.�
�Good, then I�ll order her, or them, to do it.� Joyce smiled. �I have the authority to.�
Spike breathed a laugh. �Yeah, knew I liked you, Joyce. You�re a fun one. More lively than others, eh?�
�Most be Summer�s blood.� Joyce mused. �Feel better?� She tilted her head, with mother x-ray vision. �Not so much?�
�It�s not what they did, Joyce.� Spike said, turning to face her and pulling his feet up onto the bed to cross them, emphasizing with his hands, and she turned to acknowledge him. �Sure, lab experiments � bad � but I don�t remember them. So god bless good sedatives, and painkillers. The thing that�s getting me, is that this is the second time it�s happened to me. And I know I am quite stunning, but it�s not flattering. First time, it was just a quick capture. Second time, I got a chip in me head. But if I�d known that first time, I would�ve burned all of the documents right away. Bloody Nazis. It was just a whim � cutting into vampire�s heads � I burned the papers. But I nearly caught on fire, so they weren�t destroyed properly. And who knows what�ll happen next time, Joyce! I mean, surgery is bad enough. If they nab me again I really don�t think that I�m coming back. And I�m not exactly feeling any less worried now that all of the Super Squad is saying that they�re right next door � underground, given, but not even a sodding town over. How many bloody things can Sunnydale fit?! And I can�t exactly do much more until your super daughter goes and kicks their asses, cause in the meantime I�m being hunted for my hide! It�s not exactly like I blend in.� He sighed deeply and hung his head.
Joyce frowned and put her arm around him, petting him for comfort. �How would you like to have an accident?�
*****
�Mom?� Buffy blinked.
�Miss Summers.� Xander stood up and straightened out his shirt.
�Where�s Jamie?� Buffy asked. �And Dawn?�
�Spike�s watching them.� Joyce said. �And I�m giving him a few hours to, uh, adjust.� She stifled a giggle.
�Adjust to what?�
�Oh, nothing, honey.� Joyce replied. �Rupert, I love your shop. It�s feels exquisite and antique � like a real magick shop should be.�
�Oh, well, th-thank you Joyce.� Giles bumbled, hiding a blush by cleaning his glasses. �Are you here to visit Buffy?�
�No.� Joyce pouted. �Willow, uh� you�re a witch? I was wondering if you had a concealment spell. For vampires.�
�Concealment? L-like invisibility entirely or to certain people?� Willow asked. �Cause I don�t have that kind of power yet. Or maybe just to confuse them? I still don�t have that kind of power. I might mess up and make Spike a toad. A vampire toad. Last time I tried a simple spell and it ended up w-with Giles blind and Buffy and Sp � well, it didn�t work either. So I�m grounding myself.�
�Oh.� Joyce didn�t try too hard to hide a smile. �Spike will be so disappointed.�
�I-I�m sorry.�
�How is the bleached devil?� Xander asked. �Cause last time we saw � long few hours ago � he was showing those crazy crazy hormones.�
�Spike is perfectly fine.� Joyce said. �It didn�t even take me five minutes to console him.�
�Well it�s evident where Buffy gets her powers from.� Giles said.
�How�d ya get him to unlock the door?� Buffy asked, and Xander snickered, apparently having been told of the screwdriver and Spike removing the doorknob. �Did you yell at him? I shoulda tried that.�
�No, I just went downstairs and spoke to him.� Joyce said. �Okay, mothered. Slightly.�
�You evil, evil thing.� Buffy said. �You took out his weak spot.�
�Yes, well, now that I have four children � and I should let you know, you�re not as complex as you like to think you are.�
Xander snickered again and Tara punched him. �Ow! Hey, you�re supposed to be the nice one!�
�I forget!� Tara cried. �I must be channeling Spike, because I felt like hitting you, and you deserved it, so I did! Don�t mess with me! Or him!�
�Xander, behave.� Buffy said. �So what exactly are you doing or did to help Spike?�
�That�s just between me and Spike.� Joyce smiled secretly. �Giles, do you have any Weetabix?�
�Uh, yes, I have some in stock.� Giles said.
�Mom,� Buffy protested. �Don�t feed Spike good stuff. I�m trying to get him to work for pig�s blood!�
�Honey, Weetabix isn�t exactly Ben & Jerry�s, but it�s just the right thing to tip spike to my evil plan.� Joyce said. �Now don�t you worry, just have your little meeting with your friends and go on patrol and I�ll do my mom thing. I won�t have a tunneling vampire in my basement.�
�He�s tunneling?� Willow asked.
Buffy looked at her mother in shock while Joyce looked in her pocketbook for the money to pay for the Weetabix. �How can you even understand what Spike says half the time?�
�He�s very intelligent, Buffy, he just deals with things in a different order, and you have to respect that.� Joyce said. �I respect your choice to be a Slayer, and Willow�s choice to practice witchcraft, and I respect Spike for his uniqueness.�
�Miss Summers, you don�t have to be polite.� Xander informed. �Vampires are crazy.�
�Who ever said Spike was a vampire?� Joyce asked mysteriously, exchanging money for purchase and receipt from Giles. �Or that his name is even Spike? I�m afraid you need to learn people before you persecute them, dearies. Now I have to go. I suggest you forget everything you ever knew about William.�
Buffy watched her mother leave and turned back to her friends, embarrassed. �My mom is crazy, too.�
�Yes, it appears to be spreading.� Giles said.
�I�ll say!� Xander said. �And what does she mean Spike�s not a vampire? What exactly did Willow do?�
�I didn�t do anything.� Willow squeaked.
Buffy sighed. �My mom and Spike. She�s majorly transforming him already. Pretty soon all four of them will be of one mind. And it makes me wonder: am I the only sane person in my family, or should I join them and see the light?��
�No, Buffy.� Xander pleaded dramatically. �Stay with us. We can�t loose you, too.�
�We could all give it a try in coo-coo land.� Tara suggested with a giggle.
�Yeah, well if Joyce and Spike are getting as tight as you say, then I think that a certain school-girlish vampire needs an extra shot of testosterone. Who�s for unleashing a demon gang on him?� Xander asked, raising his hand.
�Don�t be so harsh.� Buffy shook her head. �If mom can drag Spike out of a basement, even if he�s just being polite, let her. She�s the only one that�s actually allowed into his little world. And she is a mother.�
�Yes. Perhaps we should wait until next time for our amusing vampire roommate updates.� Giles said, getting back to business. �Later we�ll further investigate the school area. Tonight Buffy will need to patrol.� He set an ax down in front of her.
�Great.� Buffy tested the ax�s weight in her hands. She�d only have to put a little muscle behind it to decapitate something. �Maybe I can hit a demon bar first. See if they have any extra information. Any big Initiative plans. Or maybe if one of them escaped.�
�So far Spike is the only lucky one to have escaped.� Giles said. �I suggest you either try to help him get more information, or get Joyce to try.� Giles said. �It may come back to him, at least where the Initiative door was.�
�I think Spike�s been pushed far enough tonight.� Buffy said. �You�re not the one who has to live with him. I�ll just do that demon bar thing, and then hit a few cemeteries if nothing shows.�
*****
Two bars, six dead demons and three hours later nothing showed.
All of the information was the same. Shady government facility, demons seeing their friends get taken or showing up missing, and none of the spineless cowards giving her a definite location or anything. Half of them couldn�t tell her where they�d been exactly when they spotted one of the guys, and the rest where scattered everywhere and not very accurate anyway. One was near where Spike had been shot, but not enough to verify anything.
So Buffy went to the cemetery to take out all of her anger on an unlucky Feluamir demon that had the misfortune of mistaking her for hapless prey. She beat on it�s hard insect-like shell until it fractured and a gooey substance oozed out. Then she had to stab out a diamonded eye, making the beast give a horrible piercing, grating screech. She grimaced and cut off it�s head, silencing the awful sound, wiping off a small splatter of the demon ooze, which was more like water than staining putrid liquid, but still had an oily smell and feel, like fish.
She made a sound of disgust and cleaned off her hands, picking up the soiled ax and walked off, trying not to let it drip on her shoes.
�This is what I get for wasting all my time watching disgusting demons drink mealworm smoothies.� Buffy berated herself, making a face.
�Geesh, Slayer. Couldn�t hold it down?�
Buffy spun to the sound of the amused voice, about to put him in his place when he mouth fell open and he ax fell out of her hand. �Oh� wow��
Spike chuckled. �Fancy you�ve been hit by Willow�s spell again, pet. Cept this time she left you a bit gob-smacked.�
�Uh,� Buffy made a noise and bent to pick up her ax. �Oh, ew!� She kicked the ax away. �Damn!� She sighed, looking at her slimed-on shoe, then back at Spike. �What happened to you?�
Spike frowned, looking serious. �What do you mean?� He adjusted his red shirt, checking all the buttons as if Buffy thought he was disheveled. �Reckon my clothes are on right. Think the shirt don�t match the blue jeans?�
�You�� Buffy pointed to his head, then touched his hair, quickly jerking away. �You�ve been sheared.�
�Huh?� Spike touched his head, and jumped. �Well I�ll be damned!�
�Knock it off, Spike.� Buffy tried not to smile. �What happened to your hair?�
�Did I tell you your mum was a bloody sneaky woman?�
Buffy started laughing and Spike couldn�t keep a straight face.
�So am I hideous? Don�t exactly trust your mum all the time, and your sis kept laughing at me. James wasn�t so helpful, either. So help me out, here. She didn�t give me a Mohawk or something, did she?�
�No.� Buffy said. �But I think she used a pretty close-cutting buzzer. I didn�t even know we had a buzzer.� She touched his hair again, and Spike voluntarily bowed his head, letting her feel.
�Oh-oh my god.� Buffy giggled, running her hands over his head. �It�s all fuzzy. That�s amazing. I didn�t even think your hair came a different color.�
Spike shrugged, straightening back up. �Joyce says I�m just growing up, Buffy. Bleach is old. But I really didn�t have all that much brown hair to work with.�
�It looks good.� Buffy beamed. �Is this what Joyce was fattening you up for?�
Spike shrugged. �Didn�t really fancy to shave it all off, but I got sick of burning my scalp half off. So now I�m gonna stop abusing my �ead.�
�Xander would wholeheartedly say that that�s a very good idea.� Buffy said. �Wow. You look so different. And I might regret saying this � but very handsome.�
�Shucks, Slayer.� Spike said. �Just me. Now you can�t all call me bleach for brains.�
�Baa,� Buffy retaliated.
�Hey,� Spike play-punched her.
�Better watch yourself, mister.� Buffy smirked, picking up her ax. �Cause you happen to be speaking to an experienced va-� The ax flew into the bushes and Spike frowned, then his eyes widened at the approaching figure. �Va-eeentriloquist.� She finished. �Oh, hi Riley.� She brushed a lock of hair away from her face, hoping he wouldn�t notice the goop on her shoe.
�What�re you doing in a cemetery at this time of night?� Riley asked.
Buffy opened her mouth. �A � I was just gonna ask you that. You�re usually campus-based.�
�Yeah, well I was going back that way, taking a shortcut when I heard voices.� He looked at Spike, trying to recall when he�d seen him. �Who�s this?�
�Uh, that�s my � he�s William.�
�Hey.� Spike tried to say neutrally.
�You�re hanging out at two in the morning with some strange guy?� Riley asked.
�Not hanging.� Buffy said. �Just� walking. And talking. He�s, he�s my mom�s friend.�
�Huh.� Riley was busy looking Spike over, so spike did the same, sizing him up. �Isn�t he a little young to be hanging out with your mom?�
�Yeah.� Buffy laughed nervously. �To be honest, she was trying to set us up.�
Spike gave her an evil look, and Riley mirrored that.
�Well, she thought that he was so right, but I told her that I was supposed to see if you could hang, but then she sent us out on these crazy errands. And poor Will didn�t even know. We were just sharing a laugh about it, because it�s not the right time for him and I�ve already got a loving boyfriend.�
�Huh.� Riley seemed to buy this, but still looked Spike over suspiciously.
�Yeah. That woman.� Spike said, trying to kill any British tones. �She�s a little devil.�
�So how did Joyce meet you?�
�Well� at a convention, of course.� Spike said, taking a step away from Riley and coughing. �Yeah, she was at one of those lectures and I � I just love ancient Egypt. You should really value your planet�s history� dude.�
�Right.� Riley looked back at Buffy. �So are we going out tomorrow?�
�Uh� sure.� Buffy agreed. �Bronze?�
�I�ll meet you at six.� Riley agreed, stepping in to kiss Buffy possessively, and Spike felt a little angered by this display right in front of him.
Riley finally left and Spike glared after his, testing the air, as if Riley had brought in a stench.
�What�s up with you?� Buffy asked.
�Nothing.� Spike said.
�Are you jealous?� Buffy asked, almost hopefully, but more along the lines of amused.
�He�s a tosser.� Spike snorted. �Tell me you haven�t had sex with him yet.�
�Uh, no, actually.� Buffy blushed, recalling that Spike had gotten her first.
�Might wanna test him.� Spike suggested deviously, also somehow satisfied that Riley couldn�t have Buffy � not that he wanted her, he just didn�t like Riley. The nonce.
�You�re so immature.� Buffy said, going to retrieve her ax.
�No I�m not. Your mum would say the same thing. He probably has crabs.�
�Don�t be vulgar, Spike.� Buffy scolded. �It�s my sex life.�
�Alright. Fine. Stepped in something, now I�m stepping out.� Spike held up his hands. �Shouldn�t say that. Just don�t like �im. He�s got a bad scent.�
�Bad scent.� Buffy repeated. �Like he forgot to shower?�
�Nah. But that, too.� Spike added for good measure. �Just something about him.�
�He�s protective of me.� Buffy said. �Jealous. It�s cute. And he thought that you were, I dunno, putting moves on me or something.�
�Ha. He thought I was a threat, and it got him all puffed up?� Spike asked, pleased with his self. �Do you think I�m a threat, Buffy?�
Buffy flushed. �You were, but now I know that you like to paint nails.�
Spike pouted. �Knowing isn�t liking.�
�Yeah, well you painted my sister�s nails, so points off for your threatening.�
�I mean do you think that your hubby should think that I�m worth fretting over that I might sweep you off of your feet?�
�Spike, the only time you ever swept me off of my feet was under a spell.� Buffy said. �So there� no way that you could ever do that again. Ahh!� She shrieked. �Spike! Spike, put me down! Spike, you mental patient!�