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Chapter 5:
Ludric's Diary (LooL)
 Last week, in Neil Jang-Ragu�s
apartment, the police found a secret diary, it belonged to Ludric Von Evil.
The writing was very etchy, but the �Fabulous Kakaville Police Department� (FKPD)
were able to discover some things; �In Ludric�s diary, we found secret
messages like <Kakaville will be destroyed on august 23rd> which probably
meant that he was planning on doing something big on that date. We aren�t
exactly sure what he is planning on doing yet, he might be planning on
wrecking havoc on Kakaville on the 32nd of August, the date has yet to be
confirmed.�
Today Is June 29th, I will be
leaving in 3 days for retraining in a special Kaka camp that I set up for this
attack. Neil Jang-Ragu will be joining me along with the Clan of Sketchiness.
I hope Jang doesn�t meet Chubs Broll (a.k.a Nell J. Crib), Nell is my friend
who owns a restaurant called �Jerc N� Boll� right near the camp. I think that
Nell might be married, but I�m not sure... If he is married, he is probably
married to Chubs Babouchy (a.k.a Stanouch Beheva). I hope he isn�t because
that my ruin our friendship.
Today is June 30th, I just killed
Neil, I cants stands him no more. Ever since recently he has been getting very
close to the popos. I took a ball of Kaka and lit it in his room. When he got
home, he went in the room and the kaka made a small, but substantial
explosion.
For some reason, I have been very paranoid lately because the leader of the
clan of sketchiness told me that there is a mole within the group who is
trying to stop us from completing our mission. The only problem with my
paranoia is that I�ve killed so many people with kaka bombs that i may not
have enough for this Kakaville.
Today is June 31st, I am leaving
tomorrow, tomorrow is a day of celebration for the Clan of Sketchiness because
of all the casualties that have arisen over the past couple of days. My only
comfort to leaving is the fact that I�ll see Nell J. Crib and eat the
delicious sausages that he serves at Jerc N� Boll. But people keep on telling
him that no one eats raw sausages. All the explosives for the attack have been
completed and all I must do now is train. The Kaka Foundation, woops, I mean
the Clan of Sketchiness, will be taking care of the HOTT KakaS while I�m gone.
Before I leave, I must find the mole and kill him.
Today is June 32nd, I blew up the Clan of Sketchiness headquarters, muah
hahahaahaha KAKA EVERYWHERE!!! But no one was in the building. On my last day,
I sent a letter to the mayor telling him of my plot, he still has no chance of
surviving, even with a warning. I�ll be right back, I need to go empty my
excrements into the toilet. Yum, that was a very good shit. I have not found
the mole yet, but I will, and I think I might enjoy the taste of kaka, its not
such a bad meal. I�m going to leave my journal in Kakaville. This way someone
can find it and he will probably steal it.
That was an exert from Ludric�s diary.
On July 3rd, french news reported that a man walked into a restauant called
�Jerc N� Boll� and saw two men kissing behind the counter (probably Nell and
Stanouch). The anonymous man then dropped a special �Kaka� bomb that the GIGN
had never seen before. The �man� then left and the kaka exploded, killing
Chubs Broll and Chubs Baboucha. The french government didn�t do anything about
this murder (as usual).
Mayor Kakaface then sent a team to France, the team consisted of Detective
Neelix, and 10 Kakaville Seals. Neelix was pleased to leave because he had
never been to France, he wanted to see what France had that Kakaville didn�t.
Well, this reporter did not write this
article (his secretary wrote it). He got on a plane to France, where he went
into the airplane bathroom and took yet another Kaka. Meanwhile, his secretary
worked very hard on writing this article because she had to copy everything
from Ludric�s diary.
(and by the way, lool=lol+cool) |
