Part 5...In which we find out the truth about the OC's backpack and the author's IQ.

The Project
Hey everybody!

ESM: ::gloomily:: Shut up.

The school term is over and summer vacation begins!!!! Yahoo!

ESM: Do you Yahoo! ?
Elladan: ::makes disgusted face::

Anyway, Now I'm off the ban that my mom gave me 'cause of low grades...

ALL: I KNEW it!
Eowyn: Honey, your fics reflect your grades. It's a fact of life.

..that is until my report card comes ::shudders::

ESM: As well you should.

Ummm, this chapter....I'll let you know when I figure it out. I got a good plot, sorta.

Elladan: Oh Eru. She's got such a good plot SHE can't even figure it out!

Naurien woke up the next morning

Boromir: Aww. I was sure she'd cried the life out of her.
Eowyn: She would have, but your kiss and warm arms gave her enough strength to live.
Boromir: I take it you mean I should go kill myself for my stupidity?
Eowyn: ::curiously:: How do you propose to do that?
Boromir: With a...oh. That's true.

and got dressed in a light blue, silky-ish type dress

ESM: Acrylic?

that she found in the closet provided for her.

Gimli: WE didn't get closets!
Elladan: ::shudders:: I don't like closets. Mary Sues have a habit of falling through them.

She walked over to where the men/hobbits/elf/dwarf

Gimli: As usual, the Dwarf is last.
ESM: Not to me.
Elladan: ::to Boromir:: Is she flirting with the Dwarf now?!
Boromir: Hey, you had your chance.

were sleeping. She crept up to Boromir. He was fast asleep, so she gently shook him to wake him.

Gimli: She can gently shake till the Dwarves die out, but he will never wake up unless you throw him out of bed.

"Will you come with me to breakfast?

Eowyn: (Naurien) I'm afraid I have a hard time deciding what to eat unless there's a man beside me.

" she asked to the just waking up Boromir.

ESM: Don't you love it how all these Boromirs are randomly introduced?

He sat up.

Elladan: Causing her to trip on her blue silk and fall backwards. The base of her skull hit a branch, paralyzing her. But don't worry, she wasn't in pain long. As Boromir got up to help her he too tripped, knocking her down three flets until she finally landed in a fresh pile of leaves that was housing a family of opossums. But don't worry, she was already dead when they ripped her to pieces.
Eowyn: You're a fiend in disguise.
ESM: What disguise?
Elladan: Thanks alot.

"Of course, my lady. It would be an honor to eat with such a beautiful maiden."

ESM: ::pouts:: How come you never say that to me?
Elladan: ::before Boromir can find an answer:: What makes you think you're beautiful?
Eowyn: ::to Boromir:: How come you never said that to ME?
Boromir: Because...I was dead?
Eowyn: ::pouts:: Not even in a dream!
Boromir: Well, I'm a bit busy to be inviting my brother's wife out to breakfast...
ESM: What in Mandos's Halls are you doing then?
Boromir: Can't say.
Girls: ::snort::

She helped him get up off the pile of furs that was his bed.

Elladan: You got a pile of furs? I always get a pile of leaves.
ESM: I wonder why.
Elladan: You watch out, young missy.

They walked in the glorious light that was the sunrise.

ESM: Twice? You can do it once a chapter, no more. Twice in two sentences is ridiculous.

There was a patch of flowers that were

ESM: Was.

so radiant that it would seem that the witch-king himself would turn good just from receiving a single blossom.

Gimli: Aw, why didn't we ever try that?
Eowyn: Because I needed my fifteen minutes of glory.
ESM: I can see it now, the Council, and Gimli proposing the Fellowship present a bouquet of some Lothlorien flower to the Witch-king...::bursts out laughing::

They were deep red, in large clusters, which reminded Naurien of the lilac bushes near her home.

Elladan: ::yawning:: How sweet.

They walked along the aisles of lovely bouquets

ESM: This is either a wedding or a florist's shop.
Elladan: Maybe it was a wedding of florists shops?
ESM: Oi, I can't quite imagine that...is that like incorporation?
Elladan: How should I know!

laughing and some times even Boromir would try to teach her to dance.

ESM: ::cries:: You never teach me how to dance!
Boromir: ::throws up arms helplessly::
Eowyn: I thought Elves knew how to dance innately.
ESM: I'm not an Elf!
Elladan: Obviously.
Gimli: Thank goodness.
Eowyn: I was speaking of The Fire...turtle?
Elladan: Maiden. Fire Maiden.

"You should try! Dancing can be very fun." He implied.

ESM: Blast it, don't you know what IMPLIED means?
Gimli: Remember her report card.

"Fine, but I won't be very good at it!"

Elladan: Yeah. Watch. She'll be the best ever seen.

"All right," he said, taking her hand. "First, you get into position with your dance partner.

Gimli: In this case, he's a very hungry polar bear.

Then you step here, here, and here.

ESM: I don't get it.
Gimli: Why, they're all the places you step to be just out of reach of the bear's snapping jaws.

Next you twirl under my hand...

ESM: Oo, I love doing that! ::swoons::

that's it." He said indicating where to step and what to do. She ended up being pretty good at it.

Elladan: What did I tell ya.

They ended up having so much fun, that they 'just happened' to forget all about going to breakfast.

Boromir: Impossible.
ESM: Even if it were me?
Boromir: ::stares at her tiredly::
ESM: Okay, okay. Just checking.

One day, as Aragorn and Legolas were walking on their way to visit Glorfindel, who was also in Lothl�rien at the time,

Gimli: ...since it fits my plot purposes..

he saw

Elladan: Since when did Aragorn and Legolas become one 'he'?

two figures dancing and laughing.

ESM: ::in a singsong voice:: One was a figure '8', the other a figure '1', and aaaallll together they made a pretty sum.
Eowyn: How clever!
ESM: It is?
Eowyn: Don't you usually call things that make no sense clever?
Gimli:::approvingly:: Bright lass.

The girl had flowers in her hair, and a flowing dress. The man had a smile on his face

Gimli: As opposed to a beard?

and a bright red tunic on.

Eowyn: (narrator) Unhappily, the girl was violently allergic to flowers and a bull had spotted the man. On their gravestone was accidentally written, "The Girl and the Bull". Theirs was an unfortunate life, even in death.
ESM: Clever.
Eowyn: It is?
ESM: I'm returning the compliment.

They both ducked down and watched the couple from behind a ridge of flowers.

Boromir: A ridge of flowers?!
Gimli: Check out that report card.

Naurien and Boromir were dancing together

ESM: Yes...we figured that out quite some time ago.

and having the time of their life. The two watched them,

Boromir: (narrator) Because the one, three and four were on vacation.

as they stepped in the right places,

Elladan: As opposed to the left places.
Gimli: I doubt it.

and swung back and forth.

ESM: ::singing under her breath in desperate imitation of Tracy Lawrence:: Swingin'...

"I have an idea." Whispered Aragorn, and he ran off, Legolas shaking his head.

Boromir: Would somebody please tell me why Legolas was shaking Aragorn's head?
Gimli: You can find the answer on her report card.
Boromir: The joke's old now.
ESM: It's not a joke, it's the truth!
Elladan: Well the truth is old, too.

A few seconds later, he came back with a whistle/flute (AN: I think they're called fifes, but I'm not quite sure

ESM: Encyclodepiae are helpful, dear

) He lay down and began to play.

Boromi, Gimli, Elladan: ::dreamily:: Uno!
Eowyn: Uno?
ESM: ::drily:: I'm sure they'll teach you during the next break.

Hand in hand, the two danced around each other, grinning and having fun. They spent most of their time in Lothl�rien doing so. Suddenly, an elven tune was heard from the depths of the wood.

Elladan: HeyI thought we'd jumped ahead in time!

It was warm and calm, like a summers breeze. Naurien paused slightly,

ESM: A lapse of Time is not typically described by the adjective 'slightly'.

then continued to dance, but to the wavering music that now filled their ears. The guards of L�rien got the message and began to

Gimli: Use the Sue as a pincushion.

sing with their harmonic voices, it was a song well known to elves. Now, the entire wood was singing, and it was wondrous.

Eowyn: ::echoing::Wondrous.

More flutes had joined in and the whole of the wood seemed to tremble from the sound.

ESM: This is ridiculous.
Eowyn: No, no! 'Tis WONDROUS.

"Wow, I guess people saw us." Said Naurien.
"Indeed," he replied.

Gimli: (Boromir) I wore my bright red tunic for the occasion!

When they got back to the area that they slept at,

ALL: NO!!!!

Naurien went over to her side and pulled out a book.

Elladan: I am so bored.

It was Tamora Pierce's Wild Magic set. She began to read it when Pippin came over and stared at the cover

ESM: And only then. Until Pippin arrived, she had been sneakily playing her Gameboy.

. "What kind of writings are those?"

ESM: (Naurien) Pretty bad writings, I'm afraid. I can't make head or tail of it!

It took Naurien a few moments to realize that the type of alphabet was not in Middle-Earth.

Boromir: Ah, slow, is she?
Gimli: Repor-
Boromir: Enough.
Elladan: Why are you going out with that girl, anyway? Does she feed your ego?

"It's the stuff that I use.

ESM: Drugs?
Elladan: No! Not Lorien, too! Isn't it enough that Rivendell was blighted by a druggie Sue?

I could teach it to you."

ESM: Pippin! Just say no and run! Drugs are bad for you!

"I'll get Merry and Frodo as well."

ALL: ::groan::
Elladan: Maybe Sam will be able to knock some plain hobbit sense into them when they're all lying sick on the leaves.

Pippin got up and ran over to fetch his commrads.

ESM: ::shivers:: Pippin's a Communist.

The three came back excited. Naurien took out four pencils

Elladan: Is that what she calls the syringes?

that she had in her bag and handed one to each hobbit.

Boromir: Three doesn't equal four.
Gimli: That's stretching it a bit, Boromir.

Then she got her notebook out

Eowyn: ::annoyed:: There wasn't any notebook when she inventoried her bag.

and copied the letters of the english

ESM: ::muttering:: Doesn't even have the decency to capitalize 'English'.
Elladan: Must be French.

alphabet onto three different sheets with her own pencil.
"These are srange." Said Frodo, looking at his piece.

Elladan: What he said.

"Hold on," she got binders out as well

ESM: ::aghast:: This bag...it has no limits...
Gimli: Practically a portable department store!

for them to write on top of. She quickly ripped some lined paper into fourths and wrote each letter on them.
"Okay, this," she pointed to the A, "Is an a

ESM: (Naurien) the. an, a, the. Those are your articles of the English language. I only know that because I was forced to write it on the chalkboard three hundred times on four seperate occasions.

....."

Elladan: I take it class is adjourned?

She continued showing them the letters and how to pronounce them.

Gimli: In her native accent, of course.

Then, she positioned their hands, how they would hold a pencil.

Boromir: We know how to hold a pencil!!!!!
Elladan: ::nonchalantly:: That's alot of exclamation points.

She took Merry's hand and traced the tip of the pencil

ESM: Yes...isn't the tip the part with the exposed graphite? Really, trace the eraser and see what happens. ::sighs::

around the A. She did this with all the Hobbits with A, B, C, and D as well. "Alright, go and practice those three.

Boromir: ::firmly:: Three does not equal four.
Gimli: I'm with you all the way this time.

Tomorrow, I'll show you some more, and how to sing the song."

ESM: ::brightly:: Would you like me to show you how to sing the song now?
Everyone Else: NO!
ESM: That's what I thought.

Eventually, over the time they were there, they had learned how to read and write it.

Gimli: Is it just me, or did the tense just change?
Eowyn: I think it did.

Naurien thought it was kind of annoying, watching them read. "The c-c-cat r-ran a-a-across th-the road."

ESM: Not nearly as painful as it was for them, I'm sure.
Boromir: Not nearly as annoying as reading the fic about Naurien.

When they were reading large sentences,

Gimli: As opposed to long sentences...

Naurien realized that she had the third LOTR book

ESM: Dearie me, what have you done? Where are the first, second, fourth, fifth, sixth, and Appendices?

in her backpack. She opened it to the back where the event calender

ESM:::screeching with mirth:: Event calendar! I love it! ::giggles uncontrollably::

was and asked Merry the date.

Elladan: "You want to go on a date?" asked Merry uncertainly. "No!" cried Naurien fitfully. "I want to know the date!" "Oh. Estella." the hobbit replied with relief. Naurien, frustrated beyond endurance, drowned herself. The End.
Eowyn: Haven't heard from you in a while, Dan. That was very nice.
Elladan: Thank you.

"It's the fourteenth of february." he stated.

ESM: Valentine's Day! I hate Valentine's Day.
Boromir: A couple points. Merry would not have used the
name "February", and if he had, he would have capitalized it.

She looked back at the book. Tonight, it was the night that

Elladan: the Department of Redundancy Department would hire her.

Galadriel would show everyone the mirror.

Boromir: Everyone? When did Everyone get to see the mirror?
Eowyn: Apparently on february fourteenth. But there is no february in Middle-Earth, so...actually never!
ESM: Brilliant! You should have a medal.
Eowyn: Am I sensing a tenure of sarcasm?

Author's Note:

Elladan: Really?
ALL: ::cheer::

sorry that this is so short,

Gimli: We're not.

but I wanted this posted and stuff like that.

Elladan: (Author) And...stuff. You know.

review or die!

ESM: How...charming.
Boromir: Does that go for me too?
ESM: Yes, you're quite charming when you want to be.
Elladan: ::grunts::
Boromir: I meant the part about dying.
ESM: Oh. I have no idea.
::lights go on::
Gimli: ::jumping out of his seat:: I'm getting a snack! I can't go on on an empty stomach! ::runs for the door, closely followed by Dan and Boromir:: Arwen?
ESM: What about some toffee, Eowyn?
Eowyn: What about it?
ESM: Do you want some?
Eowyn: I don't know what it is.
::Boromir, Elladan, Gimli come back with various meals and jugs of ale::
ESM: ::stares at the ale:: Who said you could have that?
Elladan: Merry. ::tries to take a drink::
ESM: Elladan! I can't believe YOU are drinking that stuff!
Eowyn: It's not that bad, actually...
Elladan: ::shakes jug upside down:: It's bloody empty!
Boromir: ::also shakes jug:: Bloody right! So is mine!
Gimli: Argh! That Hafling will be rewarded for this TREACHERY!
ESM: ::sighs with relief:: Well that's all right then. Watch your language, you two. Or would you have it said that a Dwarf is less vulgar than an Elf or Man?
Gimli: ::sharply:: Was that an insult?
ESM: No. I'm not serious, just trying to get them to shut up.
Boromir: ::tears at steak with his knife sulkily::
Eowyn: ::frowns:: Do you three mean to say you can't tell whether an ale bottle is full or empty before you open it?!
Guys: ::stare in shock::
Elladan: Just for that, I won't give you any toffee. Here, Essie.
ESM: Why, thank you, Dan!
::lights dim:
Eowyn: Whoohoo. There's more.