Part 11 (Which we all sincerely hope is the last chapter)...In which the high point of the chapter is the Sue singing a very lame theme song, and the Queen of Gondor is scared to death.

Hey everybody, and I’d like to thank,

Gimli: (Nerwen) Everybody. The End.

Chocolate Newt- sorry that its rushed
Ladyof Rivendell- thanks 4 reviewing
Happy Reader- I don’t have a boyfriend

Elladan: Thank the Powers, or we'd have a self-insertion, boyfriend-insertion, and pet-insertion!

or anything, so I don’t know how to do romance really, but I’ll try -

Gimli: Oh, please spare us.
Eowyn: Girls of fourteen should be writing about fourteen year old things!
ESM: Like...what?
Eowyn: Horses? I don't know, it's been a while since I was fourteen!

TheDreamChild- hi, thanks 4 reviewing
JEP101- hey, thanx 4 reviewing so much! -
freelance beatnik- also, thanx 4 reviewing

last chappie, Naurien and the gang

ESM: Aaa! Naurien's gone gangsta!

went to Edoras and we left off were they saw the king.

Boromir: (Nerwen) And now we will quote Tolkien because he's a better author than me and I'm really lazy.

Upon the chair, sat Théoden.

Gimli: I believe you told us that already.

His figure was bent over with age so that he almost looked like a dwarf; but his white hair was long and thick and fell in great braids from beneath a golden circlet set upon his brow.His beard was laid like snow upon his knees; but his eyes still burned with a bright light, glinting as he gazed at the strangers. Behind his chair stood a woman clad in white.

Eowyn: That's me!
ESM: So. If everybody was in mourning for Theodred, why weren't you in black too?
Eowyn: You're confusing Nerwen's narrative with Tolkien's.
ESM: I was actually just pointing out a seeming incongruity between the two.

At his feet upon the steps sat a wizened figure of a man, with a pale face and heavy-lidded eyes.

Eowyn: ::shudders:: I hated that beast.

Silence took the room for a moment

Boromir: And held it hostage.

. The old man did not move in his chair. At length, Gandalf spoke. "Hail Théoden, son of Thengel! I have returned. For behold, the storm comes, and now all friends should be gathered together, lest each be singley destroyed."

Boromir: (Gandalf) Although we'll probably all be destroyed all together, so, basically it's just the fellowship of it all that I'm asking for.

Slowly the old man rose to his feet, heavily leaning on a short, black staff.

Eowyn: ::tenses up::

"I greet you," he said, "And mabey you look for welcome, but truth to tell your welcome is doubtful here-" he continued, but Naurien wasn't paying attention.

Elladan: ::scowling:: She's above it all.

She was looking to Èoywn,

Eowyn: ::suspiciously:: Who's that?

who stood like a bright shadow behind her uncle. She was in a white dress, that looked like it glowed itself, and her hair, rested golden on her shoulders. She stood tall and proud, showing none her grief. Her cousin had died, her brother had left against orders to go chase the uruk-hai(you should never put uruk-hais, because the word is like moose, it can be either, like you wouldn't say 'mooses'

ALL: ::stare::
ESM: Oh, of all the cheese in the world...would you stop it with the know-it-all notes inserted into the fic?

) and her uncle was less than a mere shadow of his former self. She stood looking only at the floor, not wishing to bring her eyes onto the newcomers.

Eowyn: What does she mean by that? Am I supposed to walk up to them, gouge my eyes out and plop the gore in my hand on their heads?

A song played lightly in her head.

Boromir: I'm sure it did, just come along to the madhouse with me and we'll get you a nice room to listen to it in...

She began to humm

ESM: (Nerwen) Ummmmmmmmmmmmm

it slightly,

Gimli: You really like that word, don't you?

and she got lounder

Boromir: ::squints:: Ah! She got flounder! I get it.
Eowyn: Flounder? In Rohan? I don't think so.

until she began to actually sing quietly,

ESM: Yes, actually, she did! For here are the lyrics to prove it!

"If you're looking for me,

Gimli: Which we're not.

You better check under the sea,

ESM: In the molten middle-layer of the planet?

'cause that is where you'll find me,

Eowyn: (Naurien, singing) Unless I'm hanging from a tree.

Théoden was back to normal when she had started and the whole court just stared at her.

Elladan: In typical Mary Sue fashion, the vital parts of the story are skipped over to get to the Sue's performances.

But she didn’t see, because she was leaning against Boromir, staring at the floor.

Boromir: (floor) Aaah! Stop staring at me! Stop it I say! It's rude to stare, didn't your mother ever beat that into your ugly head? Go away! Aaah! Somebody get her to stop staring at me!

Underneath the sea-lab,

Eowyn: Is that a kind of dog?

Underneath the wa-ter,

ESM: In the molten middle-layer of the planet...

Sea---lab
underneath the sea
underneath the sea..." (yes that is the theme song to “sealab 2021”)

ESM: Oi.

She stopped,

Gimli: But only because a fly had flown into her mouth and she had just swallowed it.

and looked up.

Boromir: (Naurien) Am I gonna die?

Everyone was staring. "What? Oh....did I sing that out loud?"

ESM: Well, you can't sing silently.
Elladan: Maybe a Sue can.
ESM: Nope. That would defeat the purpose.
Elladan: You're right. I didn't think that one all the way through.

"Yes, you did." said Boromir, grinning at her.

Gimli: He saw the courtiers closing in on her, itching to pay her tenfold for the pain and suffering her song had caused them. Some still had bleeding ears, others had very noticeable lumps on their heads from their efforts to knock themselves out and escape the terrible noise.

"oh," she said studiply.

ESM: Studiply. That's another one I'll try to pull off in Scrabble...

"Sorry,"

Eowyn: Sorry ain't good enough.
Boromir: Burn the witch!

"There is nothing to forgive,"

Gimli: (Theoden) But everything to punish!

Théoden spoke to her, "Your song was beautiful.

Eowyn: That song was retarded.
Boromir: Why does the madhouse keep letting her loose?
Gimli: She's probably too far gone for any of the keepers to handle.

It would be nice to hear something like that in this court more often." he smiled.

Gimli: It would make for excellent diversion if more Sues like her would come, offend, and be tortured on a daily basis.

"Thank you.." she said really embarressed.

ESM: Because she'd forgotten to use her deodorant and brush her teeth that morning.

Then, he turned to Gríma Wormtongue.

Elladan: In other words, less important matters!

from outside

the doors flew open, and the guards thew

Eowyn: They thew the thuy thout!

the betraying advisor out. The company followed out after Théoden.
“Your witchcraft,

ESM: Or leechcraft...

would have had me crawling on the ground like a beast.” Théoden said angerly after hearing Wormtongue’s pleas.
“Send me not from your side!” he cried out.

Boromir: (Theoden) Ah. Well then, I'll send you forth from my foot. How is that?

Théoden lifted his sword, intent on killing him, when Aragorn caught his hand. “No my lord! Enough blood has been spilt on his account.”

ESM: They'll never be able to figure out if he is overdrawn or not if you spill more now.

He nodded, and turned around.

Eowyn: Somehow, I doubt it would be that easy.

“Where is Théodred? Where is my son?”

Boromir: For Eowyn's sake I refrain from being flippant.
Eowyn: ::gratefully:: Thank you.

Everyone bent their heads, not wanting to tell him the grave news.

Gimli: No pun intended, I hope.

Stinging tears sprung to Naurien’s eyes,

ESM: Rather like salmon attempting to reach their spawning grounds just before they die.

and they streamed down her face.

Elladan: Even though these were people she'd never known, except for a few actors in a movie and a few lines in a history book.
ESM: Did you know they label the Lord of the Rings fiction?
Elladan: What?!
ESM: Yes, I know. It's a disgrace. One day, when I take over the world, I'll have them all put in the non-fiction section...
Boromir: When you take over the world? I thought that was HER goal.
ESM: Er...it was a figure of speech. To demonstrate my feelings on the matter. Yeah.

(justa let ya kno, it takes a lot for tears to do that. usually they just stay perched at the top of your face, because its only a couple drops. I’m going insane, so I know these things-

Eowyn: Going insane? You ARE stark, raving mad.

) Boromir noticed

Boromir: That the geese had flown south for the winter last year according to the almanac and yawned.

and put his arm comfortingly over her shoulders.
The funeral was quite,

Gimli: Quite is a quantifier, not an adjective. Don't abuse it.

except for the crying of women. They carried Théodred down to the burial mound. Children threw flowers onto the path. The people lined the pathway, watching as their would-have-been-future-king

ESM: Now that's just plain awkward.

was carried past them. Éowyn stood at a large group at the end, and began to sing a mournful lament

Elladan: Mournful lament being rather redundant terminology...

for her cousin. The song was in rohiric,

Eowyn: Argh!

a rougher language than elvish, but just a beautiful.

Gimli: Of course. Whatever you say.

Later on in the Golden Hall.

ESM: The rest of this sentence was burned!

Naurien was sitting with her head on Boromir’s shoulder.

ESM: I can't figure out how people do that. It's so uncomfortable!

Dozing into a fitful sleep, until the doors crashed open.

Gimli: And somehow the subject and additional verb got lost here also.

Gandalf came in swiftly with two children. A girl and a older boy who looked half-dead.

Naurien and Éowyn ran over to go and take care of them. They brought the children over to a table and ran off to get good for the two poor children.

Boromir: Why, was Eowyn being bad?
ESM: Unless getting good means something really bad.

Author’s note- hey guys, I havn’t been able to write, because my mom banned me from the internet for bad grades! But I’m going to see if I can post this!

ESM: Maybe I'll send the transript of our MST to Nerwen and hopefully it'll persuade her to pursue her schoolwork rather than sucky fanfics.
Boromir: What if it doesn't?
ESM: Then we'll have to reassemble to finish the fic!
ALL: ::groan::
ESM: ::hurt:: What? I like talking to you guys, even if you don't like being here. ::pouts::
Elladan: Well...
Boromir: Hey, I'm dead, I haven't got anything better to do.
Eowyn: I do have a son to raise, but I'll come again if I can.
Gimli: I'm actually enjoying this.
ESM: ::smiles:: Well, for now, IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL: ::cheer and run for the door, which has swung open, to meet Merry, Arwen, and a pale Legolas and Elrohir bearing sweetmeats.::
Elrohir: How was it?
Elladan: We all missed you, brother. I'm sure we're all missing some braincells, too. But it was fun in a perverse sort of way.
Legolas: I don't suppose anybody missed me.
Gimli: Yes, we did.
Legolas: No you didn't.
ESM: Yes, we did. Too bad you weren't there, it was a Boromir romance.
Legolas: Shoot, a fic NOT about me and I miss it?! I am going to kill Elrohir...
Elrohir: Hey! It wasn't me, it was the clams! And Emeril Lagasse's recipe!
Arwen: BAM!
ALL: ::jump::
ESM: ::suspiciously:: Have you been watching TV, Arwen?
Arwen: ::sheepishly:: I had nothing else to do.
Merry: Hey, where are Boromir and Eowyn?
ESM: Wherever they came from. They might come again sometime, though. And what are we standing around here for? I'm gonna go play some soccer and then take a shower and then sleep for a week.
Elladan: Sounds good. I'm goalie.
::Everyone except Arwen dashes out of the theater. Arwen remains to lock up, but curiosity forces her to peek inside the screening room. As she looks around in wonder, the screen suddenly becomes alight with a frightening close-up of a mouthful of mismatched and disfigured teeth. The Queen of Gondor screams and darts out of the theater.::