Hey people, I would like to thank:

Chocolate Newt-i am only updating so soon because of her death threats lol

Boromir: Ah-hah! So if we send her death threats she won't update anymore?

Ladyof Rivendell-thank you again, you�re so loyal! awwww

Elladan: ::calmly:: Sure, sure. She'll stab you in the back when you least expect it.

thedreamchild- yes, she and �oywn are going to be best friends

Eowyn: I think I'll settle for best enemies.

Kady Rilla Wholi- thank you 4 pointing out that my story was going toward the marysue section.

ESM: It was just sorta floating downstream...

I will now gladly point out how she is not a mary sue -

Elladan: ::laughs loudly::
ESM: We will gladly review your arguments and proceed to show it up for nothing but a smokescreen.
Boromir: Eh?
ESM: ::grimly:: Just pay attention.

good things about her- good at horse-back riding, swordsmanship, drawing, is an elf, good at speaking elvish, memorising things(songs)
bad things about her- clumsy, breaks things, bad at sewing/kniting/ anything that includes cloth and weaving it together, at bowsarrows(she supposedly shot arrows in moria but I can�t fix it, so ignore it), her hair is not the perfect color(black or white-blonde), she trips in dresses, she spaces out too often,

Elladan: Would you like to go first, Essie?
ESM: No, go ahead, Dan.
Elladan: ::coughs:: Right. I rest my case on the fact that so far, ALL of the above attributes have been demonstrated in the story. By contrast, NONE of the "bad things about her" have been mentioned in the fic. She has not broken anything, been especially clumsy, tried to sew, missed something with her bow, her hair color hasn't even been mentioned, she never tripped in a dress, and there have never been any ill effects from her "spacing out too often". Thus, your argument that she has too many faults to be a Sue falls flat on its face.
Everybody Else: ::applauds::
ESM: Now my turn. Apart from those attributes, and horsebackriding and swordfighting doesn't count because she'd been practicing, and being an Elf doesn't count either. But let's go back to the beginning of the story. Gandalf sent the whole Fellowship to get her to protect them. That is SUCH a Mary Sue trait I could just quit right now. But, I'll go on. Now, she has a horse-
Eowyn: You mean a giraffe.
ESM: Yes, sorry, a giraffe, of a race that can only be ridden by the King of the Mark and his sons. This puts Naurien on par with Gandalf. Next. She falls in love with one of the non-Gimli members of the Fellowship.
Gimli: I'm insulted.
ESM: She completely rips off movie-Arwen's Evenstar act. She tells Aragorn, Aragorn, what to do! She is apparently mortally wounded and survives. And let's not forget that magic backpack!
Boromir: All right, we get the point now. Can we move on?
Gimli: It is pretty sickening.
ESM: Yes, let's go on.

and i thank the rest of you who reviewed but i sadly can't think of your name right now!!

Eowyn: Hmm, that must be us?

last time, Naurien escaped, and joined the rohirim.

Eowyn: Argh.
Gimli: I don't remember that at all. I read that she had passed out and the next thing she knew the giraffe was nuzzling her and Lord Eomer was trying to stick his finger into her back.

she slept through most of the battle....actually..all of it. Boromir got annoyed at Gimli. and they found Delta and Griffin!

ESM: The author thinks this is some sort of TV show. If people can't remember what happened the chapter before they can press a button or two and read it for themselves!

Review of my day!

Eowyn: Get a blog, nobody wants to read about your day on fanfiction.net
ESM: Unless you want us to think it's all a lie.

Gee, everyone wants to read this!note the sarcasm

Boromir: Take note of it yourself and do something about it.
Elladan: Or better yet, refrain.

I took Delta(the realone

Gimli: Eh? Oh, the real one. Is he a giraffe too?

) for a ride, twice. it was fun. I ran him up the hill. I�m gaining experience with cantering as well. My horse doesn�t canter much, because he has this really fast trot that he likes better. And all you perfect Mary-sues out there, i�d like to take this moment to say, that if your character gets riding perfect in a few days, then you are so wrong, i�d be rolling on the ground laughing.

ESM: Uhm, it's not the authors who are the Mary Sues, it's the characters.
Elladan: "Perfect Mary-Sue" is redundant.

Its 7:31PM right now,

ESM: No it's not, it's 10:34am!

and now, I�ll write the story! and remember kids,

Boromir: We will. Especially ones who write Mary Sues.
Gimli: They go in our little black books.
Elladan: And you really don't want to know what happens to the owners of the names in our little black books.

don�t wear sneakers(trainers) while in an english saddle while galloping up a hill!

ESM: :: chin on her hand:: What about when in an English saddle?

Edoras

Naurien rode atop her now giant horse,

Eowyn: Otherwise known as a giraffe.

cradling her dog in her lap. It was a Yorkshire terrier.

ESM: Oi, those things are annoying. Not as annoying as chihuahuas, though.

His name was now Carsuithon, because no one knew what a griffin was.

Gimli: What has that got to do with anything?
Eowyn: If she's so good at drawing and story-telling, why doesn't she inform everybody what a griffin is?

They galloped around a corner

ESM: of the kitchen table...

when...�Riders of Rohan! What news from the Mark?�

ESM: Another TV show came on.

They turned in an arc, and surrounded the four, not three hunters. Naurien still thought Boromir was dead.

Boromir: Even after seeing me staring at her.

She went up to visit Aragorn and the others.

Gimli: And give them some candy.

She looked up and saw the face which she least expected.

Elladan: Sauron's?

�BOROMIR!!!!!!� she cried and leaped from Delta into his spread out arms. �I thought you were dead.�

Boromir: I was.

they both said at the same time.

Gimli: And after Naurien crashed into him, they broke their necks and were dead anyway. The End.

Then they laughed, both hugging each other tightly. Aragorn explained who they were.

Eowyn: Because they were actually total strangers hugging each other on a whim.

Happy tears fell swiftly from her eyes.

Elladan: Aragorn is a girl?!

When they were done,

ESM: Making out...
Gimli: Disgusting.

�omer whistled, �Hasufel, Arod!� he called the horses forward. �May these horses give better fortune to you than their former masters.

Eowyn: (Eomer) Or not...at least you can ride on them.
Boromir: (Eomer) Or maybe you can't. There's four of you and two of them.
Elladan: (Eomer) And I bet you didn't know these were the champion broncs at last year's rodeo.

�He remounted his horse, �Look for your friends but do not trust or hope. It is forsaken these lands. We ride north!� he called to his riders, and they left as swiftly as they had come.

ESM: Wouldn't it be nice if for once she got at least the movieverse right?

�So how have you guys been?� she asked.

Gimli: (Aragorn) Great, until you turned up again.

�We�ve been going for three days!

Eowyn: We're ready to break up!

Looking for you!

Boromir: :bitterly:: Yes, just for you, we weren't looking for the hobbits at all!

� said Gimli,

Gimli: Two exclamation points and all I get is a "said" ?!
ESM: Better than a "stated".

as they reached the pile of burnt orcs.
�They�re not dead!� she said, they looked up at her.

Elladan: (Legolas) What in Varda's name are you talking about? Of course the orcs are dead!
ESM: (Boromir) Burn the witch!

�They�re with treebeard.�
�Treebeard?� asked Legolas.

Eowyn: (Naurien) No, treebeard. ::curiously:: Who's Treebeard?

�He�s an ent.

Elladan: An Ent?
Eowyn:(Naurien) No, an ent. ::curiously:: What's an Ent?
ESM: De ja vu!

He picked up Merry and Pip in Fangorn forest.� she replied.

ESM: (Naurien) As far as I know they're going steady now.

They set up camp. Naurien sat against a tree tieredly,

ESM: I MUST have tieredly demonstrated!
Eowyn: I think it's just an adverb to describe a tiered building...no, that would have to be an adjective...uhm...

but sat up quickly. �Owwwww!!!�

Gimli: (Naurien) I just sat on a porcupine!

A great stinging pain filled her back.

ESM: Good work, Gimli!

�Probably because of the arrow.�

Gimli: She's not really running around with an arrow still sticking in her, is she?
Eowyn: No. The orcs took care of her.
ESM: I wonder why. They were ordered to capture the Haflings and kill the others. Why did they drag her along?

she thought, But Legolas noticed as well,

Boromir: Or better.

and he also noticed how jagged strip marks

ESM: What are jagged strip marks?

of dried blood were appearing on the back of her shirt.

Eowyn: ::wryly:: I don't suppose the blood was once fresh? That's usually how a shirt is first marked, by wet blood.
Elladan: Yes, but the Sue is special.

�Tolo si.� (come here) he commanded. She walked over lazily.

Gimli: As if to say, I don't give a flip about your orders.

�I need to see your back.� she lifted the back of her shirt and he gasped.

Elladan: (Legolas) She's a stripper!

Ugly whip-weals covered the whole of one small area on her back.

ESM: Er, yes, I suppose they did...just don't change your mind and say they covered the whole of one large area on her back.

�Aragorn!� he called, �Come quickly and bring athelas!�

Elladan: (Aragorn) What? Do you think athelas grows on trees? I used the last of it on Frodo and Sam back at Moria! Chop her head off and put this world out of its misery. (Legolas) Okay...::chops Naurien's head off::
Eowyn: Why are you guys so gruesome and sadistic?
ESM: ::fanatically:: Sues are a poisonous fume that wreak havoc on people's morality. They are abominations that must be DESTROYED. Would you hesitate to annihilate a bacterium that threatened to kill a friend? No less would we hesitate to kill a Sue.
Eowyn: What's a bacterium?

�What�s wrong?� she asked. He stared in disbelief that she didn�t know about the marks covering her back.

Boromir: Me too.
ESM: I knew it. The marks cover her back, now.

Boromir heard the yelling and ran over.

Gimli: To join in the fun.

�What�s wro-� he was about to ask the same thing, until he saw the strips

ESM: Chicken strips?

on her back. He stared in horror

ESM: (Boromir) How could you pollute those delicious chicken strips so callously?!

for the first few seconds and then started to pace and curse the orcs. Aragorn had the same reaction.

Eowyn: Rash, nausea, fainting spells and a tendency to speak in foreign languages.

�I wonder how those got there.� she asked herself nochalantly. They stared at her.

Elladan: (Legolas) You freak.
Gimli: (Aragorn) You schiz.
Boromir: Send her to the funny house! Burn the witch!

�You don�t know how this happened?� asked Legolas.
�No...� she said innocently. �I really don�t!

ESM: (Naurien) Only my other personalities do.

Most likely when I passed out after running too long without water.�

ESM: (Naurien) And I forgot the rest of the sentence...must have left it on one of the orcs' helmets...it's probably all burnt now. ::weeps::

a few hours later

Gimli: The four hunters were casually gathered around a fire, confident that the insane asylum would take care of Naurien very, very well.

�Who are you?!� shouted Aragorn at the white-robed person.

Elladan: ::grinning:: I guess he was having a bad day.

�Show yourself!�
The blinding white light dimmed,

Boromir: Is it break time?

to show, you guessed it,

Eowyn: ::enthusiastically:: A purple earthworm!

Gandalf!

Eowyn: Oh. I knew that.
Boromir: Mmph!

Legolas kneeled

Elladan: Otherwise known as knelt.

down, Naurien smiled at him, Boromir stared, Gimli just stuttered, and Aragorn whispered, �It cannot be, you fell.........�

Gimli: (Gandalf) That's right, I fell down all those dots. And you know what? The Balrog gave me a total makeover in exchange for his life. But I killed him anyway, haha, sucker!

�Through fire...and water-� You know the whole speech if you�ve seen the movie as many times as I have. -

ESM: I've probably seen it more.
Elladan: But, if you've never seen the movie, you're out of luck.

They aproached the field. Gandalf whistled and Shadowfax came cantering not in slow motion

Eowyn: That's good, we might have thought he had gotten hurt.

which was wierd for Naurien.

Elladan: It probably would have been wierd for anybody.
ESM: Do you know what wierd means?
Elladan: No.
ESM: Then how would you know?
Elladan: ...

Then,

ESM: STOP THAT!

they rode for Edoras. Naurien really wanted control of Delta�s reigns,

Boromir: Control freak. There's no way I'm marrying her.
Eowyn: ::suspiciously:: Does she want to be queen or something?

but the men thought it would look proper if Boromir sat in front.

ESM: (Naurien) Male chauvinist pigs! Boromir, what does chauvinist mean?
Everybody Else: ::grin::

The neared Edoras.

Gimli: I don't believe we've met The before, have we?
Elladan: What is he doing in this story?

Everyone there was dressed in black to mourn the death of Th�odred.

Eowyn: ::smiles sadly::

She rested her head on Boromir�s back. He turned his head around enough to see her without disturbing her and smiled. He still needed to ask her the big question.

ESM: (Boromir, to Naurien) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

They went to the stables first, and left their horses. Then the guide brought them to the gates.

ESM: (guide) Follow the Yellow Brick Road!

�There are the doors before you.�he said. �I must return now to my duty at the gate. Farewell, and may the Lord of the Mark be gracious to you.�

Gimli: Which at the time were roughly the same thing.

He turned and went swiftly back down the

ESM: Yellow Brick Road.

road. They climbed the long stair under the glare of the tall watchmen. Silent they stood now above and spoke no word, until Gandalf stepped onto the paved terrace at the stairs head. Then

ESM: See? Tolkien doesn't use commas where they aren't wanted! ::respectfully:: I'm going to leave the rest alone, because it's Tolkien.

suddenly with clear voices they spoke a courteous greeting in their own tongue.
�Hail! comers from afar!� they said and turned the hilts of their swords toward the travelers in a token of peace. Then one of the guards stepped forward and in the common-tongue, he addressed them. �I am the Doorwarden of Th�oden. H�ma is my name. Here I must bid you lay aside your weapons before you enter.�
Then Legolas gave into his hand, his silver-hafted knives, his quiver, and his bow. �Keep these well,� he said. �For they come from the Golden Wood, and the Lady of Lothl�rien gave them to me.�
Wonder came into the man�s eyes, and he laid the weapons hastily by the wall, as he feared to handle them. �No one will touch them, I promise you.�

Elladan: (Hama) They're cursed, for sure!
Gimli: Then Hama affixed a banner over Legolas' weapons that read, in five different tongues, "Here lay the artifacts of war from a dying civilization. Touch them not, lest your own homes be touched by frost and decay!"
Boromir: ::looks on admiringly:: That would scare anybody.

Aragorn stood a while hesitating. �It is not my will,� he said, �to put aside my sword or deliver And�ril to the hand of any other man.�
�It is the will of Th�oden.� said H�ma.
�It is not clear to me that the will of Th�oden son of Thengel, even though he be lord of the Mark, should prevail over the will of Aragorn son of Arathorn, Elendil�s heir of Gondor.�

Eowyn: I had a crush on this guy? He's dissing my family! We aren't Gondor's serfs!

�This is the house of Th�oden, not of Aragorn, even if he were king of Gondor in the seat of Denethor,� said H�ma, stepping swiftly before the doors and barring the way. His sword was now in his hand and it�s point toward the strangers.
�This is idle talk,� said Gandalf. �Needless is Th�oden�s demand, but it is useless to refuse. A king will have his way in his own hall, be it foolish or wisdom.�
�Truly,� said Aragorn. �And I would do as the master of the house bade me, were this only a woodman�s cot, if I bore now any sword but And�ril.�
�Whatever it�s name may be,� said H�ma, �here you shall lay it, if you would not fight alone against all the men in Edoras.�
�Not alone!� said Gimli, fingering the blade of his axe, and

Elladan: Slicing his thumb.
Gimli: Hey.

looked darkly up at the guard, as if he were a young tree that Gimli had a mind to fell.

Gimli: ::chuckling quietly:: That I did.

�Not alone!�
�Come, come!�� said Gandalf, �We are all friends here. Or should be; for the laughter of Mordor well be our only reward if we quarrel. My errand is pressing. Here at least is my sword, goodman.

Boromir: (Gandalf) I can get better ones where I come from if I have to.

Keep it well. Glamdring it is called, for the Elves made it long ago.

Eowyn: (Gandalf) Market price is unbelievable so don't even bother trying to sell it.

Now let me pass.

Gimli: (Gandalf) Unless you want to join the Balrog!

Come, Aragorn!�
Aragorn reluctently unbuckled his belt and set his sword upright against the wall. Then he set his dagger given to him by Lord Celeborn next to it, along with his bow. Then Gimli placed his axe next to Aragorn�s things.

ESM: With a comment that apparently isn't important to the author.
Gimli: Nobody cares about me.
ESM: No, you actually do have fans. They just tend to be a bit more sensible than the others. Be at peace, Gimli son of Gloin!

Naurien and Boromir followed suit.

ESM: Hearts.

They entered the Golden Hall then. It was long and the floor was paved with stones of many hues; with runes and designs under their feet. Many woven cloths hung on the walls, and large scenes of battle were made into the the soft fabric. But upon one form, their eyes it had caught the most. A young man upon a white horse. He was blowing a great horn, and his yellow hair was flying in the wind. the horse�s head was lifted, and its nostrils were wide and red as it neighed, smelling battle afar. Foaming water, green and white, rushed and curled about its knees.
�Behold Eorl the young!� said Aragorn. �Thus he rode out of the North to the battle of the Field of Celebrant.�
At the far end of the house was a dais with three steps, and in the middle of the dais, was a great guilded

Eowyn: No, I don't think it was guilded.
ESM: This girl and her typos.

chair. Upon it sat Th�oden.

Authors note- hey ppl. I did write more but I forgot to save it,

ALL: ::cheer and applaud and whistle::

so this is what you get. I update tomorow.

ESM: ::snarls::
Eowyn: ::stiffens:: Sometimes I get the impression I'm in the theater with a wild animal...
::lights go on::
Boromir: Why don't you go and talk to Merry, Essie? I'm sure he misses you.
Elladan: And bring me a sandwich while you're at it.
ESM: ::walking to the door:: Don't you EVER get tired of eating?
Elladan: It's been a hard day's work.
Gimli: I'm tired of sitting.
Eowyn: Me too. Bet you can't catch me! ::takes off to other side of theater, with Gimli in hot pursuit::