ONWARD ~ and ~ UPWARD Judith Florian, R.N.

Featuring articles and discussion of diverse topics, including:

Disabilities, Home Health Care, Sexual Abuse of Children, and Advocacy.

Sexual Abuse of Children (SA-C)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Changes As Abuse Survivors Age

Artwork by those who have experienced SA or PTSD

FOCUS:

  Introduction about Sexual Abuse

     Today, there are numerous resources on the WWW (Internet) for survivors of childhood trauma.  When I first started talking about my own abuse (1973), these kinds of public and easily accessible resources weren't available.  I don't intend for this website to take the place of all the wonderful sites already available on this subject.   Any search engine will bring hundreds of web sites with links to many, many more... and most sites will provide email and postal mail addresses and telephone numbers for additional help.  I do not plan to duplicate those links here.  

    What I have realized through my life and going through awareness of my abuse is the fact that abuse has been happening to children and women for "eons."  Eons may seem an extravagant description, but sexual abuse has indeed happened throughout the centuries, from fathers, mothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends of the family like "Uncle" Joe, as well as strangers.  Anyone who has read old newspapers can find news items about abuse of women and children.   

One of my first poems was about this realization of "generational abuse," and images came to me as I thought about different times in European and United States history, imagining the pain carried by generations of women throughout time was also the pain I was going through at the time.  Situations and names were different, but the forced abuse of power through sexual acts has been a burden and secret throughout families, throughout institutions (churches, orphanages, poor houses, hospitals)... throughout time.  To me, that was an important realization.  It activated my anger... it got me in touch with my sadness and powerlessness... and also released me from guilt I had felt that the abuse was "my fault."   Depending on where you are in your journey, you may have also had the same realizations.  (Note: The same fact is true of generational abuse of males, although it may happen more with females than males.)

        As it has become more acceptable to reveal and talk about childhood abuse, numerous therapists' offices all over the world have given witness to survivors' pain.   Unlike in the 1970s, most therapists now encourage the artistic expression of childhood sexual assaults and of memories of early abuse (a good therapist also encourages drawings of non-abuse memories, whether the feelings are happy or even neutral).  Although many people view "Sybil's" story with suspicion now, her case and the book written by that name (Sybil) opened the way to using art and artistic expression during therapy and recovery stages.  Indeed since the 1970s, stores have been flooded with books geared toward getting folks in touch with their pain by doing creative projects in one form or another, and books have been written about the benefits of journals and journaling... and books are published that are actual blank journals!  For a number of years, my home book shelves were filled with such books of the self-help variety.   I have book shelves full (and boxes full) of my personal journals, and hundreds of pieces of "art" ranging from scribbles to abstract to real pictures.  Some writing and art has been graphic, while others are even less than mundane.

        At the time I was entering my teenage years, PTSD was just beginning as a label for Vietnam vets returning home.   Now, PTSD is diagnosed as often as the numbers of people diagnosed with Depression.   The PTSD diagnosis has become so common that, I fear, it has almost lost or has diluted the true impact of what abuse sufferers or war survivors experience!   Survivors all know what PTSD symptoms feel like:  the flashbacks of intrusive pictures, sounds, voices, smells, emotions and thoughts, the spacey-ness, the hyper-vigilance, and the feeling that something's just not right most of the time.  Survivors know how sneaky PTSD can seem, leaving you in peace one minute only to cast you headlong into panic and crazy feelings by any number of triggers.  If you've been in therapy at all, you've probably done a good job identifying your own triggers and finding ways to live without always fearing the next triggering event.  We've learned to cope.   Some survivors have even learned to live (not just survive), despite their past.  Some survivors have not been as fortunate..... their abuse experiences continue to affect them.  Their progress can be turned into a negative of "they haven't succeeded," as though it it a personal failure.  But, that isn't true!  Each person's journey is difficult and some survivors need more support than others do.   In so many ways, survivors share a pain, but find it isn't shareable at all.  Labels (a diagnosis) doesn't always mean finding ("getting") cured.  But like Vets, survivors try to learn to "live with" their PTSD symptoms as best they can.

        Issues a survivor faces will change over time.  The things that caused upset or caused continued pain as a teenager change when one is in their 20s and 30s, and are different again in one's 40s and 50s!   But, in my opinion, the changes in issues and needs as survivors age are under-recognized by professionals.  It is not uncommon that middle age brings a whole new set of issues, and it may be tougher to talk about these issues as one becomes a senior citizen.  After all, how many decades have survivors heard from family, friends and even therapists that the supposed goal is to "get over it"?   In fact, many middle-aged and older persons have not found a way to "get over" the abuse they lived through as children.  And, if there were therapy experiences where the outcome was a negative experience or even abusive, it may be even harder for the older survivor to seek help -- or find therapists who understand the issues the survivor goes through as they age.

        I've spoken with many women over the age of 45 who have said they believe they can "never" get over their childhood experiences because of the severe trauma and PTSD.  Other women were further abused in therapy (emotionally, mentally, sexually or financially, or a combination of these) which only reinforced the earlier traumas they held inside.  But mostly, it seems that childhood sexual abuse prevents one from developing normal ways of feeling, thinking, and acting to such a degree that women spend most of their adult lives re-learning and re-building shattered parts of themselves.  This relearning is obviously harder for those diagnosed with severe PTSD or for those with Dissociative Identity Disorder.  

            Thank goodness our society is now open to at least hearing that abuse has happened (and is happening.   Now women and men can come forward to speak and share their stories, often after decades of living with their "secret."  It helps that celebrities like Oprah have used their public positions to not only reveal their own secrets but to allow a place where other survivors can speak out.  I'm grateful for those who pushed for legislation and Amber Alerts, and anything else that can help protect today's children.  I hope, though, that public awareness will not turn again to "blindness" and "deafness" toward this far-reaching societal problem.  I hope the public won't become overwhelmed by the raw emotions survivors share.  We NEED more legislation, we need MORE activism.  We need laws to change.  Abusers should never receive a "slap on the wrist" as they did in the past.  I personally feel an abuser should be sentenced to a life sentence with their FIRST arrest and conviction.  I don't think sex offender programs work, and I don't believe an offender can be rehabilitated.   If anything, I think offenders simply learn how to better mask their behavior, while learning more ways to manipulate children so it is easier to abuse.  Under our current laws, more children will be molested/raped, kidnapped or killed by the abuser.  But the only way the laws will change is if society as a whole says "No more!  Not one more child, not my children, not your children."    

            The next page contains a couple articles written about the benefits of doing artwork.  I strongly recommend that you to read my cautionary statements before going through this section.  Then if you are interested, links will take you to pages that contain artwork by survivors and persons with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID/formerly called MPD).   I've separated some of the art into categories of pre-therapy, during therapy, and after therapy.   If you wish to comment about any drawing, please use the Guestbook.   

You are on Page 1 - SA-C - Introduction about Sexual Abuse

Next Page - Page Two - (SA-C) - Coping Through Drawing

Page Two-B - (SA-C) - Open Letter to Physicians and Dentists

Changes As Abuse Survivors Age

On Alters 

Other helpful articles:

Snow Globes, Pick-Up Sticks and Crayons

The House on the Hill

Sign Guestbook

Disabilities...... Home Health Care...... Sexual Abuse of Children...... Advocacy......... Jump to: Top of Page      If you have corrections to the content of this site or if you find broken links, please email me. The title "Onward ~ and ~ Upward" is a "motto" I used as a teenager and young adult --- then forgot about for a number of years.  I feel it is a fitting motto to strive for and a fitting title for the topics of this website.   (c) Judith Ann Florian 159 E. Main St. Girard, Ohio 44420 Disclaimer: This website is intended to convey information and discussion ONLY, on a variety of topics, and reflects the views of this author and submitters to this website.  The information provided on this website is not intended as a substitute for a medical opinion or diagnosis.  If you are suffering from an illness, injury, pain or other symptoms, please seek help and diagnosis from a medical professional.  If you are feeling suicidal or are thinking of harming yourself, in any way or by any means, call your therapist, your local 911, your local police department or other law enforcement, your local hospital emergency room, and your local crisis numbers. The webmaster of this site will not reply to emails from any person in a crisis situation. Copyright Notice - Information provided is for personal use only and may not be used on any other website.  All graphics and content on this web site are under copyright.  No portion may be reproduced, in part or in whole.  Contact the webmaster for information about publication rights.  © 2005-present, Judith Florian, Copyright - All rights reserved. Credit: Visit "The Art of Penny Parker" for elegant backgrounds and images.   This page was last updated on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 17:17