I just heard the news that Joe Strummer died last night. That really sucks, especially for those who held a sliver of hope that The Clash would get back together and play when they get inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame next year. But even if that didn't materialize, Strummer was already back to making good music - if you're a fan & haven't heard it yet, check out the Global A Go-Go album he put out last year with his group The Mescaleros. It's been a rough past 14 months or so, we've lost a lot of good ones. Which shouldn't be too surprising, i guess. All those rock gods from the 60's & 70's that didn't kill themselves with drugs then are starting to grey.
The Sharif don't like it.

Just a quick note to the asshole upstairs - Go get bent!
What a jaggoff. I get home from dropping my wife off at work & turn on some Clash - in memory - not even as loud as i should, mind you, and this dumb dick has the balls to come down here & ask if i can turn it down.
"Joe Strummer just fucking died, you git," I yell at him in my worst English accent.
He just stands there stunned.
"Okay," I say, reverting back to 'merican tones, "I'll turn it down."
Normally i wouldn't have been so rude in the first place, but this is the same asshole who apparently loves the sound of his alarm clock going off at 5:00 in the morning so much, that he has to leave it on for a half an hour.
-cpb 12/23 {link}

I know, i know, it's been a while. Sorry to both my adoring fans, or should i say, with new information i just acquired a couple nights ago, all three of you {wink, wink Bradley}. I've actually been spending my time schlogging through the mind-numbing chore of adding albums to Waxing Lyrical*. I'm now up to about 100 albums and over 1,500 songs. Weeeee!
Anyway, there isn't really that much going on with me. I have some interesting news about one of my very good friends, but me being the dick that i am, i'm not going to tell you.

Anyway, i did find out the other day that Cellar Roots only picked one of my poems for publication. Bastids!
Interestingly enough, they picked the one that was my favorite, Johnny Hayseed Rides Again.
-cpb 12/22 {link}

WE'RE #448!
That's right, folks. The Experience rocketed up 543 spots from last year in the Interactive Music Awards' 'The People's Choice Award' voting. Last year we were #991.
-cpb 12/8 {link}

Woo-eee!!!
There's nothing quite like taking a big fat dump outside in the wintertime. Gimme that bung-on-snow contact any day!
-Day-Z 12/6 {link}

Well, we just had our first major snowfall here in Michigan a few days ago & i have to say, Michigan drivers never cease to amaze me. Every time there is even a slightly heavy snowfall around here, all hell breaks loose on the roads. People either start driving like maniacs, or like senior citizens. The latter group always amazes me more, though. The thing is, these people live in Michigan. It snows every year, usually for about three or four months at a time. Why do these people act as if they've never seen snow before? I don't get it.
-cpb 12/4 {link}

Here's a list, in no particular order, of the 5 best instrumental rock songs that i can think of off the top of my head:

Green Onions - Booker T. & The MG's
Samba Pa Ti - Santana
Frankenstein - The Edgar Winter Group
The Ox - The Who
Time Is Tight - Booker T. & The MG's
-cpb 12/3 {link}

To be honest, it really is the little things that keep me going... like kicking sludge balls & icicles off the bottom of cars.
-cpb 12/2 {link}

I watched the little Martin & Lewis movie that was on CBS Sunday night (not bad, by the way - Sean Hayes was good as Lewis) & ever since i've been doing my all-out, balls-to-the-wall Jerry Lewis impersonation - complete with flopping & yelling. I believe the people in the apartment upstairs are ready to move out. The impersonation is horrible, besides. It actually sounds like an impersonation of someone doing an impersonation of me doing my Jerry Lewis impersonation. Which is no easy task, mind you.
And in other news, i noticed someone reached this site by searching for "who lets the bogs out" at some random search engine, which, of course, begs the question - Who does let the Bogs out?
-cpb 11/26 {link}

They did it to me again... although i guess i can't complain, since i asked for it. Another tepid review of The Experience, this time from Bloggy Opinions. And according to the review, my posts here seem to be on the, & i quote (with the little two-finger waggle motion), "'bad-assed' masculine side", unquote. Which i thought kind of odd, since i'm about the farthest thing from a "bad-ass". And this site isn't particularly masculine, aside from maybe the coarse language. Hell, i don't even talk about sports that often. Strange. I'm beginning to wonder if a male reviewed my site they wouldn't be a little more impressed. Or at least humored. Well, correction... i should say a male with a sense of humor. I mean, i realize that the "look" of this site sucks (& i also realize that that is very important to some people), but there is some funny shit here, goddamnit! Even if i do say so myself... & well, i just did. Anyway, this reviewer did hit one nail straight on the head, & that's the fact that i am obsessed with ass. Yee-haw, brother.
-cpb 11/24 {link}

Ohio State - 14
Michigan - 9
-cpb, non-OSU-obsessed Ohio native, but casual-Buckeye-fan Michigan resident, 11/23 {link}

I just submitted five things for consideration to Cellar Roots, which is Eastern Michigan University's literary/arts book they put out every year. I submitted these four (1, 2, 3 & 4) poems and this. And according to my wife, they all suck. So, we'll see, i guess.
-cpb 11/22 {link}

Meow.
-Eli R. Duke 11/20 {link}

Well, we've decided to keep the kitten. Let the adventure begin. His name is Eli R. Duke, which is short for Elias Raoul Duke of Earl, Esquire. But you can either call him Eli or Duke. Is that clear?
-cpb 11/17 {link}

The Bogner home has been overrun by a visitor. AAAAAAAAAA!!! Er, a small visitor. Ahhhh (nodding head knowingly). We now have a cat in the apartment & the wife & i can't decide whether we're going to keep him or not. He's really cute, but it's a small place & Day-Z isn't sure if she likes him or not. So, if you know anyone who wants a really cute kitten, send 'em round.

And in less important news, there's a new page at the Reef. Check it out, if you have any sense.
-cpb 11/12 {link}

Apparently my site was re-reviewed by The Weblog Review today. Yesterday the second reviewer gave me a 3.5 & today it is 2.5 - i guess i'm slipping.
-cpb 11/9 {link}

Well, after months & months of agonizing wait, it has finally happened. THE Experience has been reviewed by The Weblog Review. They were horrible, horrendous... i'm hurt... i hate myself. Just kidding. We were reviewed by two different people, one was "eyhhhh" & one really disliked us. If you don't know what "eyhhhh" means, don't worry. Neither do i.
Anyhoo, you can read the reviews here. If you really love me, you'd rate me a five. And i know that you do - don't deny it. Ever since that trip to Aruba.

And in other news... Inebriation Notes has been gobbled up by the Reef section of The Corner Of Miami Street & Gilmore. Sorry to both of I.N.'s fans.
-cpb 11/8 {link}

Well... it's 3:36 in the morning, 6th of November & it looks like the campaign to elect Shane McGee to the 7th District of Washtenaw County commissioner's office as a write-in has failed. Of course the whole campaign consisted of two pieces of lined legal paper with WRITE-IN McGEE scribbled on them taped over Robert Brackenbury posters. But he got my vote, damnit!
As far as the rest of the elections go... voting yesterday kinda reminded me of the end of The Sex Pistols - "Did you ever feel like ya been cheated?"
-cpb 11/6 {link}

I re-did the The Birth Of THE Experience today, for good or ill.

And also, a quick question for the ladies: What the fuck does is matter whether a guy combs his hair or not? And if it's so goddamn important to you that your boyfriend looks presentable all the time, why the hell would you go out with someone whom you know doesn't give a shit what people he doesn't know think about him?
-cpb 11/4 {link}

A Halloween trick... er, treat i mean. My literature section The Corner Of Miami Street & Gilmore is now up & in effect. Yee-haw!
-cpb 10/31 {link}

For Halloween this year i think i'll steal my dad's idea and go as a pull toy - naked on roller skates. And speaking of great costumes, apparently M.P. Bierlein is going as Ace from the Ambiguously Gay Duo.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Fresh off of starring in the meteoric four episode run of Everybody Knows Bierlein (which aired Mondays at 9:00pm on Lifetime), Matt has sunk to the level of blue tights & a natty cod piece. God i love Bierlein.
-cpb 10/30 {link}

Nothing better to do today?
Well, then vote for THE Experience:
X
{Picture... DEAD!}
Last year we finished 991st.
-cpb 10/28 {link}

Hmmmmmm... what's been happening lately?
Class, that's what. And it shows (segue) in my latest edition of Ponders.
-cpb 10/23 {link}

Well, Shane finally cleared out some space on his e-mail account. But he had a good excuse.
-cpb 10/22 {link}

Well, it seems as though The Official TERRY's KID Homepage is officially dead... which, of course, sucks a dead donkey's dick. Those motherfuckers at TalkCity apparently are the devil. Or something like that. You can read about that whole business here. The site had been fucked for the last few months & i was hoping it would eventually come back, but after doing the aforementioned checking, i guess not.
This really sucks for a couple of reasons. The first is personal. The second is that there was a lot of funny shit there. Now it's all gone. Back to the drawing board, i guess. Hopefully i can get all the pictures around again & get them up somehow. Of course you can still get the lyrics to No S and some non-album tracks at Waxing Lyrical*. And speaking of No S, i think we still have some copies left, so if you want one (& i know you do), shoot me an e-shale at [email protected].
-cpb 10/18 {link}

HEY SHANE!
Delete some of the messages in your goddamn Hotmail account... i can't send you a fucking e-mail & it's pissing me the goddamn off.
I've had about enough of this hairy screw-bizz bullshit... & i'm not going to take it anymore.
-cpb 10/16 {link}

Shan-O chimes in with another edition of SDC... something about Chinese.
-cpb 10/7 {link}

Pigs - 3
Nelson - 1
-cpb 10/3 {link}

So i recently had this funny little incident in one of my classes. It was so funny, i had to send an e-mail to Shan-0, in hopes that it would start some sort of creative juices flowing within the master-brain that is, in fact, Shane-Motherfucking-O.
Well, it didn't work. Screw.
Anyway, he told me i had to put it on the site quote ASAP unquote. And for a day, i almost wasn't going to, simply due to the fact that if my lovely wife would read it, she'd probably be pissed, for two reasons:
1) I was talking to a chick & 2) i mentioned that she was mildly attractive.
But then i realized something... she never reads this anyway, cos she thinks i'm an idiot. Wird! So here it is... Story Time.
Any-which-a-way, this was too funny to be held from the general public. This was one of the rare occasions where i was, as they say, On Fire.

And in other news, D-Fresh & i are going head-to-head this week in Fantasy Football. Be afraid Doug... be very afraid.
-cpb 9/27 {link}

In other news... or in news - a duck's quack doesn't echo. And in olds - the lighter was invented before the match.
-cpb 9/24 {link}

Got another telegram from B. Early today, from somewhere near Malmo, Sweden. What he had to say really isn't that important, but what is important is the cheque he sent me for $15.33.
Wooooohoooooooo!
Sales of Scruffy have reached 613 & the bastard owes me two & a half cents for every one he sells for co-writing No Time Bazaar & introducing him to Summerday Sands. You better not be holding out on me you treacherous cocksucker!

Anyway, in less important news, or i should say more important news, The Experience sent Shan-o to Canada for a week, and all he came back with was this.
-cpb 9/18 {link}

I like the new Jethro Tull DVD Living With The Past. It's good. Fuck anyone who doesn't like it. And double fuck anyone who thinks Tull is faery dance music. The flute makes my bung quiver.
-Day-Z 9/16 {link}

And speaking of my wedding, luckily nothing went wrong, no thanks to Shane.
-cpb 9/10 {link}

Ya know what i like? A journal, of any kind, where every entry begins with this:
Well, it's been a while since i've posted...
I've kinda felt like that lately, but i've had good reason, damnit! In the past month i've helped my parents move, moved myself, got married, went on a honeymoon & started a new semester of classes. So lay off me, biatch.
Anyway, since Memorial Day, i've taken three trips, to Georgia, North Carolina & most recently to St. Lucia, W.I. (this is a lot for me). And looking back on my notes, i wrote a combined total of about 37 words while on these vacations. This is bleak, but fear not. I feel a surge coming on. And you know what that means! Or maybe you don't. Well, just ask B. Early, he'll tell you. Of course, he's still in Germany, trying to get hooked on heroin, so he can finally record that great album he's been talking about for the past 3 years. But i'm getting off topic. And looking back, i see there really wasn't any topic.
Just look ahead.
-cpb 9/6 {link}

Added something to Shane's Dynamic Contingencies. Not much, and definitely not something NEW (wink, wink, Shan-O).
-cpb 8/14 {link}

Okay, okay.

I've been caught in a move in the recent weeks, not to mention planning a wedding & generally being a degenerate, so apologies all around for the lack of posts. Lets kiss & make-up. Smooch, smooch - okay? Now back up off me cos i'm strug-a-lin.

Anyway, i've added a new edition of Ponders. It's a bit lean, but it's been a while, plus, well... i've already stated my sitchy. Holler, as they say downstairs.
-cpb 8/13 {link}

It's finally here!

Shane's Dynamic Contingencies has finally come to fruition. I'm still working out some kinks, so bear with us, but the first edition is up, in raw form - but up none the less. Do yourself a favor & check it out.
-cpb 7/29 {link}

Here's a tip for ya - if you're too big of a pussy to take a real drink of coffee, then don't fucking drink coffee. I can't stand your goddamn sipping!

And in other news, i am about to lose it.
-cpb 7/15 {link}

Josef Stalin was a BAD man!

I apologize for this break in the usual silliness & banality, but i was looking at my approval ratings yesterday & they were starting to dip. I needed something & at present my staff consists of two nimrods & a mutt dog. If i could only talk D-Nice or Shan-O into joining my squad, i would be set. But at present, neither will bite. I even asked Polio for support, but apparently he's off on the West Coast, tramping around or something. Balls!
-cpb 7/11 {link}

Excuse me Miss Neurotic Notetaking Nymph sitting next to me in class, but is there any possible way that you could chew LOUDER!?!
-cpb, angry-eared student, 7/8 {link}

Goodbye Teddy Ballgame

Ted Williams, The Splendid Splinter, quite possibly the purest hitter ever to play baseball, died today. He was 83, though, and had been deteriorating quite rapidly the past few years. It's hard to compare players from different generations, but it goes without saying that Ted was one of the best ever. Look at his numbers as they are and you can see that. But then realize that, not only did he lose over two of his peak years during WWII, but a few years later he lost two more of them during the Korean War.
We'll miss you, Teddy.
-cpb 7/5 {link}

I just heard on the radio that G. Dub. Busch was in Ripley, West Virginny on the 4th of Joo-lie, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance with some school kids that probably couldn't read, let alone give a shit whether they're aloud to say the word god in school or not. Now i'm not going to get into how ridiculous the whole "one nation, under god is unconstitutional" crap is. I'm agnostic, personally, but i still couldn't give a shit less if kids are aloud to say the word god in school or not. Hell, they pay for their lunches with money that has "In God We Trust" printed on the back, so frankly, who gives a shit. That, however, is not the important part of this story. The important part is the fact that the president of the United States of America was in Ripley, West Virginia.
Excuse me while i lean on my homeys Doug-E-Fresh & Shan-O for the strength to get through these horrible memories. As to what i'm talking about here, the abbreviated version of the story is that, on the way home from a shitty Spring Break vacation to North Carolina a few years back, Doug-E-Fresh's "The Centurion" decided to break down in none other than Ripley, West Virginia. To abbreviate even further, the three of us had to spend one hellish night at the Motor Inn 77 (or as i like to call it, Motel 77), where we all slept in our hooded sweatshirts, so as to not touch any of the sheets with our bare skin. Not that we slept much anyway, with the sweet sound of rats scratching on the ceiling and the prospect of a buck-toothless redneck breaking in at any moment to make one of us, "Squeal like a pig! Weeeeeeee!" Luckily my good friend Peter B. came to our rescue the next day. There is also a story about Douglas' mom somewhere in this, but that is for another day.
-cpb 7/4 {link}

"Rock is dead they say..."

Well, today they're right. I'm sad to post that the greatest bass guitar player ever to walk this earth has left us. John Alec Entwistle, bassist for The Who, died Thursday of an apparent heart attack at the age of 57. I don't have much time right now, but i had to put something up today.
We'll miss you Ox.

"Why can't we have eternal life... and never die."
-cpb 6/28 {link}

I just got a most peculiar telegram from my friend B. Early:

Deep Throat 30 year anniversary -stop- need a song -stop- just outside of Berlin now -stop- good times indeed -stop- too good -stop- the Syph -stop- get back to me on the Tricky Dick lyrics -stop- thinking of changing band name again -stop- Breakfast In Bed While Your Pants Are On Fire -stop- later -stop- B. Early -stop-
-cpb 6/18 {link}

For the past month or so i've been totally infatuated with swings. I've found myself going to a park near my apartment just to swing. I cover it up by taking my dog with me, but i really just want to swing.
-cpb 6/12 {link}

I just noticed a hit on my site that came through a search engine called Radar UOL in which the person searched for this:
ass sex "short shorts" -gay -shop -fashion -members -film -video
I'm #5 on the list. Kinda makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. In a gay way.
-cpb 6/4 {link}

I think that Wavy Gravy is actually living in the Ypsilanti/Ann Arbor area. I see him everywhere, at various parks, in the EMU library, even at Home Depot. I'm not really sure what he's doing here, but he still has flowers in his hair... & beard.

And in other news, our little boy Shane's all grows up.
-cpb 6/3 {link}