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So I'm in Toronto at one of those huge city festival type things... the kind of disgusting place you would go if you were so inclined to see teenage couples make out in the midst of stale popcorn, cotton candy, and stands charging 5 dollars to throw a basketball at an undersized rim. So if you're in MY circle of friends... this place is a breeding ground for material of all sorts. There are just so many people to make fun of... you know... But I wasn't going to judge people; after all we were going to see our friend at "The Horse Palace." Yeah, exactly. And her persistent claims that she can "speak" to the horses only makes matters worse, yielding her the nickname "the horse whisperer," conceived of by the comic genius Colin, formerly of Brock University, St. Catharine's Ontario. Anyway, somewhere in this mess we end up walking behind two mentally handicapped kids. And normally I wouldn't laugh at such a thing but they were dressed like Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog... and they were white, and once again, may I say--retarded. So feeling a swell of laughter coming I slow down, because I know I'm going to need space. But then they start... they start arguing. Retard yells and what-not in their baggy pants and football jerseys and to this day--I'm still not sure I didn't see a gang sign or two thrown around. Now I could have held it in at this point if I wasn't suddenly struck with the reminder of "Mongo Strength!!" I don't even know who to give credit to for this term, having heard it so often, but stories of bully retards running around with peanut butter smeared all over their faces, terrorizing young elementary school students suddenly overwhelmed me and I was crippled with laughter. The kind where you can't stop and each glance at a friend doubled over, laughing in the same manner, just brings about another wave... My mother would have been proud to see me there... standing in the street... shaking with laughter as two retards fought it out... each trying to out-do the other in terms of both creativity, and loudness of grunts. Some weird mix of Mongo Strength and Thug Life collided on that day...
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