Whatever happened to great-grandparents? You don't really see many of them around anymore.
The other day at work i overheard someone tell a supervisor, "You're not the boss of me." He was joking, but it got me thinking. What if, the next time your boss (or one of the "Up & Ups" as Doug-E-Fresh would say) tells you to do something, you just break into an elaborate song & dance number with, You're Not The Boss-A-Me as the focal point. Then you strip totally naked & streak headlong out the door. That'd be great.
Never trust a bartender with a peg-leg. I'm serious! No matter how gimpy or sickly he looks, don't trust him & for god's sake don't turn your back on him.
Oh the fun i have in my ARMY t-shirt! The other day i wore it to my morning history class, in which there are two ROTC blockheads. During the break in the middle of the class, one of them (who actually works with me) asked if i was in "the service". I told him i wasn't. He was shocked! How in the world could i be seen with this shirt on if i was not part of this oh, so holy fraternity? I could have easily diverted this query by explaining to him that i also have a Detroit Tigers shirt and i've never played for them either. Instead i said this:
"Truth be told, i actually won this shirt off of a degenerate wino faggot in a barroom game of pool in Tijuana one night. I keep it as a reminder of the night i lost my anal virginity."
n.b. - Never do this unless you're in a well-lit, highly populated area. You don't want to catch these ROTC dolts in a bad mood.
I always thought that Opey Taylor was kind of a dork.
I recently moved into a new apartment and today i broke in the toilet. I really don't think it was ready for what i had in store for it. The only thing i can really compare it to is a 13-year girl being broken in by a horse. Except the toilet doesn't cry & bleed all over.
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