Ball one.
-cpb 3/30, 8:16 PM EST {link}

Goody, goody... it's almost here. Tomorrow night, 8:05, Texas at Anaheim - first pitch of the season.

But is that really important? I mean, it's the booze. That... or the Coke. The soft drink, silly. It's not important to you or me, but it is to them. And who are they? Well shit, if i had the answer to that, i'd be... well, lets put it this way - i'd have a thousand dollars.
-cpb 3/29 {link}

So, apparently there are bombs over Baghdad as we speak. Or as i type & you read. Whatever. Don't play the semantics game with me, cos i'll destroy you. Anyway, i'm glad to see that something has finally happened, one way or the other. I guess this is the one way... or is it the other? I'm not sure.
All i really have to say about the war is this - it better not fuck around the schedule for the NCAA tournament. Seriously, though. I'm not a big fan of war, myself. And although i try to keep up with international news, i have to admit (unlike some, who just jump on this bandwagon or that depending on the weather) i'm not the most educated person on our foreign diplomatic relations with the Middle East. But i'm in support of our president, even though he may be a complete idiot. He may be an idiot, but he's our idiot, none the less. And maybe saying i support G-Dub isn't exactly what i mean - i guess i should say i support the men & women who are out there risking their lives. This, i guess, is the only point i really want to make:
If you're anti-war, fine, if you're pro-war, fine; but if you are against the war, don't be anti-American. Don't say that you hate this country, or that you hate the soldiers over there fighting. If you do really hate this country, go live somewhere else. And if you're a peacenik, that's fine (we could probably use more in this world), but don't put down our soldiers. They're just doing there job. Some of them may be mindless & some of them may be a bit dense, but they are humans, after all.
Looking back on this post, i see it doesn't really make much sense. I've been sweating too much lately. Maybe this sums up what i mean:
I think our involvement in the Vietnam War was a huge mistake, but i'm still proud to call my father a Vietnam vet.
-cpb 3/20 {link}

"And now for something completely different..."

It's my birthday... & i'm gonna party like, well, like it's my birthday. What exactly is that type of partying? Well, i'm not really sure. I believe it involves me sitting in the corner wearing nothing but a diaper & sucking my thumb. Crying out... have to throw that it there, too. Not really sure who I'll be crying out to, but crying out, none the less.
-cpb 3/19 {link}

After a two-and-a-half month delay, i've finally got my Album Of The Month section up and running. It's a monthly review of a classic album. This month i reviewed what is, probably, my favorite album, The Who By Numbers. I also added something new to the Reef.
-cpb 3/18 {link}

Ass-Mash Monday is finally here. And how appropriate that we might be going to war today. George Carlin, where are you?
Anyway, what isn't going on today? It's MF-ing St. Patty's Day! Yee-haw! And to celebrate all this shiz, we've put up the first batch of butt pics. Quite an interesting group, to say the least. Take a look at 'em here.
There is also a new edition to Shane's Dynamic Contingencies, something about driving.
-cpb 3/17 {link}

It's the 16th now & i forgot to put up a Happy Birthday to my parents, whose birthday was on the 13th. Yes. And in three more days MY birthday. Weeeeeeeee!

And in other news, we've gotten quite a few butt pics, so if you've sent one in & are starting to get a little antsy, just settle down. They'll be up soon.
-cpb 3/16 {link}

Well, i made it back from Mexico in one piece... but just barely. The Mexicans that i came across have a very literal bent on the "Hot-Torrid" part of Hot-Torrid Butt-Sex Month. I'll just say this - although i did get too much sun & a little sunburn, it's nothing compared to the friction burn i got.
-cpb 3/10 {link}

This year, at the behest of J. Polio, a dedicated disciple, HTBSM is focusing on "looking inside yourself". Now, this may mean many things to many different people, but the HTBSM Committee ask that you think about this message before engaging in any BS activity.

And in other news...
I CANNOT stop listening to No One Knows by Queens Of The Stone Age.
-cpb 3/4 {link}

Here's to you Mr. R., i know he wanted to make it to one more HTBSM.
-cpb 3/3 {link}

Hot-Torrid Butt-Sex Month has officially begun.

As always, The Experience wants your butt..... picture. The picture can be of any person/animal/statue/thing/etc., as long as it's a butt. And, as always, please no porno pictures. The censors get angry when shit like that happens. Anyway, send the pics to [email protected].

-cpb 3/1, 12:01 AM EST {link}

Well, last night, for the first time ever, i actually watched the Grammy Awards show (for the most part) all the way through. A few observations:
-While showing some pictures of artists who had died in 2002, they misspelled John Entwistle's name as Entwhistle. Arrrrggg!
-Q: With the possible exception of Eminem, how boring is today's rap? A: Very.
-I was glad to see Norah Jones win a bunch of awards cos the album she put out last year is great stuff (not to mention the fact that she's the best looking woman in music today).
-I was highly impressed with the tribute to Joe Strummer/The Clash. Elvis Costello, Bruce Springsteen, Dave Grohl & Stevie Van Zandt doing London Calling. Very nice.
-And speaking of Bruce, although i'm not the biggest fan, i was pretty impressed with him & the E Street Band's performance.
-Good to see John Mayer win an award.
-Did that dumbass Fred Durst say that we should all be in "agreeance" about the war?
-Was it just me, or was the Simon & Garfunkel reunion boring?
-cpb 2/24 {link}



It's back again, y'all. Hot-Torrid Butt-Sex Month is only a week away (click the banner for info on HTBSM). And i just found out that i'll be in Cancun for a few days in March. This will be my first international HTBSM celebration. I'll try not to hurt myself.
-cpb 2/22 {link}

I just got done adding 3 new poems to the Shower (1, 2 & 3) and i really don't know what to make of them, not just because they're bad, but also because they're bad. I think someone has broken down a talent i used to have & used it to mop the floor of the local flop-house. I'm not really sure what this means, or where this situation will take me in the near future. As for the distant future, i doubt it will matter much.
-cpb 2/17 {link}

Goody, goody! Another St. Valentine's day is upon us. Yee-haw.
I've made my disdain for Valentine's day known in the past, but i have to admit that this year wasn't so bad. Maybe it's because i'm becoming more and more detached from society, who knows? Hermit-ness has its privileges.
-cpb 2/14 {link}

Listen buddy, I only meow for the meow-juice. Outside of that, you can kiss my boulder balls, quite frankly.
-Eli R. Duke 2/10 {link}

On Saturday, my wife received the sad news that her grandfather, Floyd Crane, passed away at the age of 87. Although he was old and in recent weeks had become rather ill, it was hard for his family to let him go. I was extremely honored to be chosen to act as one of his pallbearers because, even though i did not get a chance to get to know Floyd well, i do know that he was a fine & well-respected man. I know this not only from the stories i have been told about him, but also by getting to know (as i have in the past couple years after the engagement to his granddaughter) the family that he, along with his wife Edna, helped to raise - five successful children, as well as many grandchildren & great-grandchildren. Floyd will be sorely missed, but i'm sure he is in a better place. Though i'm not a religious man myself, i know that he was and i am more than confident that Floyd is in whatever heaven he believed in while he was alive.
-cpb 2/6 {link}

"Remember - no matter where you go, there you are."

-B. Banzai
-cpb 1/30 {link}

Okay, so my Super Bowl prediction wasn't so hot. Hey, i never said i was Yorba the Greek. Or was that Jimmy? Well, whatever...
-cpb 1/27 {link}

My Super Bowl Prediction:

Oakland - 32
Tampa Bay - 20
-cpb 1/26, 11:42 AM EST {link}

The weather here in Michigan the past couple weeks has been a mother crack-whore. It's absolutely ridiculous. The wind has been so cold lately it makes you just want to sit down in the middle of the sidewalk & cry... or at least i have. Especially walking through the campus of EMU, which is like walking in a wind tunnel. On Tuesday the wind was so damn cold that just breathing the air gave me the kind of brain freeze you get from drinking a Slurpee too fast. As i said - RIDICULOUS!
-cpb 1/24 {link}

I have finally finished reading Tom Wolfe's 1969 masterpiece The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. It only took me about 3 months. This isn't too bad, though, when you realize that i read 90% of it on the toilet. Anyway, it's a great book & i would recommend it to anyone who would ask, which is no one. So it really seems that i'm stuck in a conundrum.
-cpb, non-head, 1/23 {link}

Unbeknownst to most, i have, for the past three and a half years, been researching and compiling data. On what you ask? Good question.
Have you ever told someone your name, only to have them say, "You look like a [insert your name here]"? Well... me neither. But it's an interesting phenomena, none the less. So, for the past few years, i've been researching one name in particular. I picked Joe, since that's a pretty common name here in the States. And the results are finally in and i have come up with what i think will be the scientific discovery of the century...
This is what "a Joe" looks like.
-cpb, glad scientist, 1/22 {link}

Okay, i guess it's time for me to voice my opinion on the Pete Townshend thing, since some asshole just sent me an e-mail asking, "What do you think about your favorite musician being a pedophile?"
Here's the deal: i think he's innocent. Now, i know that i'm biased because i'm a huge fan of Townshend & The Who, but, to be completely honest, it just doesn't add up. The guy's been ranting & raving about the evils of child pornography for the past couple years on his website, not to mention the fact that he is really big into charity work & the such. Now, i realize that this could all be a front, but i really don't think so. But who knows, really?
For more info about the whole thing from a site that is on the "innocent until proven guilty" bent, as opposed to just presuming guilt, go to Pete Townshend Is Innocent. All i ask is that a person read A Different Bomb before they pass judgment.

And that's all i'm gonna say about that... for now.

Now a quick note about my computer...
Yesterday, while i was trying to find a good picture of Martin Luther King, every time i found one, my computer would freeze up or crash or somehow sabotage me getting the picture. I think my computer might be racist. Just f-ing great!
-cpb 1/21 {link}



I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring. When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

-Martin Luther King, Jr., August 28, 1963, Washington D.C.
-cpb, white soul brother 1/20 {link}

We've lost one of the Bee Gees. This could've had an upside, but i read in the news that the two remaining Gibb brothers plan to keep recording. Now don't get me wrong here... i actually liked the Bee Gees, in that corny sorta way. But there is not one band that was a high profile disco-demon like the Brothers Gibb that should still be turning out music.
-cpb 1/13 {link}

I heard Thin Lizzy's Jailbreak on the FM radio today & it made me think of two musical observations told to me by friends of mine from college. The first was from Andrew Kielczewksi, who thought Lizzy's The Boys Are Back In Town was sung from the perspective of a nerdy guy who is happy when all the cool guys come home, maybe during Christmas break, home from school or some such nonsense. The second was from Keith Krygielski, who engaged in this conversation with me, while we were discussing Dylan:
Keith: "You have to get Desire - it's the one with Hurricane. It's the one with Hurricane."
Cory: "So, it's pretty good then?"
Keith: "It's the one with Hurricane."
Cory: "Alright."
Keith: "It's the one with Hurricane."
Cory: "Got it."
-cpb 1/10 {link}

So, apparently i made a complete fool of myself in front of a bunch of people at a New Year's Eve party held by one of my wife's co-workers. I'm not sure what this means for the year ahead. It could either be really silly or really dull. I'll keep you posted.

And in other news, I've finally got another edition of Ponders up and running. Just for you, to kick off 2003.
-cpb 1/2 {link}

Happy, er... New Year.
-cpb 1/1 {link}