Humie's Laughables!!!
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Pizza Jokes
1. If using a touchtone, press random numbers while ordering, and ask the person to "stop doing that!"
2. Make up a credit card name.  Ask if they'll accept it.
3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal
4. End the call with,"Remember, we never had this conversation."
5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line, and you're going with the lowest bidder.
6. Give them your address, and exclaim,"Oh just surprise me!" and hang up (a classic!)
7. Answer their questions with questions
8. Tell them to put the crust on top this time
9. Sing the order!
10. do not name the toppings you want, spell them out
11. Stutter on the letter "p"
12. Ask what the order taker is wearing
13. Crack your knuckles into the receIver
14. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, and behave like they called you.
15. Tell the order taker you're depressed and get him to cheer you up.
16. List exotic cuizines as your toppings.
17. Change your accent every 5 seconds.
18. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate.  Ask if they need paper.
19. Start your order with "I'd like...", and a little later change your mind about everything.
20. If the order taker repeats the order, say, "Okay, that will be 10.99.  Please drive up to the window!
21. Rent a pizza
22. Leave the TV on extra loud wile trying to yell over it
23. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box, and when they say yes, heave a large sigh of relief
24. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni"
25. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred"
26. Say, "Are you sure this is ----------?  When they say yes, say "Well, so is this!  You've go some explaining to do!"
27. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther away from your lips as the conversation goes on
28. Tell them to double check to make sure the pizza is dead.
29. Imitate the order taker voice.
30. Eliminate verbs from you speech.
31. Play guitar in the backround.
32. Amuse the order taker with little known facts about country music.
33. Ask to see a menu.
34. Order a slice not a whole pizza.
35. Doze off in the middle of your conversation.
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