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 � �Raw is War SmackDown! � �Monday Nitro � � �Puroresu� WOW |
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�CS.com Hohum �Free CS E-mail |
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�Kieth Crank �The Dredge �Crank Captions �Szzzulczewski �CranksylVideo �About CS |
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by NutCup Scoot Kieth MAKE MINE NUTCUP!!! Some promotional announcements ... I'll be on The Dredge radio show once again to break down Wrestlemania. Tune in, you soulless lemmings, you. Also, I don't know what the FUCK Mark Madden's been smoking as of late, but he's still a great writer ... FOR ME TO POOP ON~! Also, don't forget to visit Wrestleline.com, emzee.com, dx316poontang.com, Big Jim's Rassling Emporium page, Markmadden.com, any of 32 Delphi Forums and IluvBabbage's.com and click on my stories 10 times, because I NEED A FUCKING REWRITABLE CD-ROM!!! And to make this abundantly clear, HIAC II only merited * 1/2. Stop e-mailing me telling me otherwise. I said it, therefore I'm right and you're not. My male roommate agrees with me, although he likes ECW and so he's a SHIT because I hate ECW, and if I hate something, I'm right and you're wrong. Chris Bird, will you marry me? This portion of the recap is brought to you by Nutcup's Discount Horseradish. Remember, when the recipe calls for horseradish, and you get paid in SHITTY CANADIAN DOLLARS, then MAKE YOURS NUTCUP DISCOUNT HORSERADISH!!! Taped from the storeroom of the Babbage's in Oak Butt Mall in suburban Edmonton, near where all the Jaguar and Sega 32X games are kept so nobody will know I'm here. This portion of the recap is brought to you by Nutcup's Car Covers. Perfect for sedans, SUV's, and also as clothing for those near and dear to you who are JUST TOO FAT for pants. Ask about our Yokozuna line of yacht covers/t-shirts. Stephanie McMahon comes out and, you know, looks like a SLUT. She grabs the microphone and delivers the MONOLOGUE OF SCREECHY DOOM, but is interrupted by Daddy Vince, who proceeds to spend the next 20 FUCKING MINUTES talking about the main event, which in a nutshell is HHH and the Big Show vs Undkanetaker in a GROTESQUE BODY PART BATTLE ROYALE~! SMELL THE BUYRATE! No, wait, that's a chili fart. Yen makes some good veggie chili. This portion of the recap is brought to you by Nutcup's Canadian Bull Wings. Available in mild, medium, *****, and TILDE OF DOOM~! flavors. NEWSFLASH: An unnamed partner has hooked me up with Leather and Mace, the Great Lakes' leading distributor of bondage porn. I'll be doing creative assistance. More money for me. Hey, Vince, where's my tapes? Speaking of tapes, don't expect me to fill your orders from my Nutcup Butts tapes until six years and a fortnight after I've tried to cash your check after adding a couple of zeros to the amount. Don't blame me. I'm Nutcup, blameless and perfect, and don't FUCKING EVEN THINK about complaining. Skip to the main event, because I'm out of sponsors. THE SMARTEST MAN IN WRESTLING & BIG SHOW vs UNDERKANER: Wait, first off ... This portion of the recap is brought to you by Nutcup's Pre-Owned Condoms. Test-driven for your safety. Okay, now THE SMARTEST MAN IN WRESTLING & BIG SHOW vs KANEDERTAKER: HHH blows his NOSE OF DOOM and seperates the ring into 4 parts while Big Show is JUST TOO TALL AND GAY to do anything else. Match was there. **1/2. And don't even FUCKING think about asking me to give it ***. That's out of line ... no, wait, wrong person. Until next week, MAKE MINE NUTCUP~~~! |
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