Now what happens next is totally lost to me. I could swear up and down that Clay did Open Arms by Journey somewhere after I Survived You. Maybe he did Measure Of A Man, I cannot account for this but I thought I heard Open Arms. The "Cellcerts" accounts tell a different story. They say that after I Survived You(ISY) came the Accoustic Set which starts out with Measure Of A Man (MOAM) - So maybe I did hear this song. Next comes Fields Of Gold followed(Sting) - I have no recollection of this song - followed by When I Need You(WINY) - which I DO remember hearing - and then Carolina In My Mind (CIMM) again do not remember this one. From there he goes onto When Doves Cry. Since All I can remember is hearing is Clay starting out with "Lying beside you, here in the dark, feeling your heart beat with mine..." I need to tell it as if Open Arms came after ISY or perhaps MOAM. This is the part when everything took a turn for the worst. Maybe I was temporarily insane - literally. For what I wanted to do was fanatical and I am not that crazy. This shit is crazy.

For all intent and purposes as mentioned above, Open Arms is the song - no, not the Kelly Clarkson duet - I can recall hearing when I decided to pull my little stunt. Now to be truthful, part of what I decided to do was to be an act...I felt I had to make a statement for Clay Aiken in my very own way -- no it was not going to be some maniac move! I am not stupid...crazy in love, maybe but surely not stupid. I wanted feign fainting so that they might take me to wherever they took passed-out fans, and maybe I could meet Clay - DID I ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS? Just what the hell I was doing that night, I still cannot figure out. Call it a Clay Aiken Attack. Last thing I needed was to be some crazed fanatic....I was far from being that. I knew I was going to put on a little act! I just felt I had to do it as a way of saying that I "loved" Clay Aiken.

As Clay started into Open Arms, I made like I had to go to the bathroom and began threading my way through the row of occupied chairs. I reached the stairs and I turned back toward the stage, my adrenaline was pumping and my emotions were welling. Was I crossing some forbidden threshold? I went up a flight or two and looked back again. Though I wanted to pretend to be faint, I did feel emotional. That dark side was getting the better of me. I reached to top of the stairs and turned to look at the monitor before I would start into the corridor toward the concession area, I was feeling a bit out of breath. I turned to face the corridor but I did not move. I caught the eye of a short lady security guard who came to see if I was okay. When she got to my side, it was no longer a game.... In a part act and part real, I issued a breathy "Help Me, I'm scared" and the rest was simply and emotional take over, unplanned and unintended: I burst into a full scale bawl. I dropped into sitting position while holding the railing at the top of the stairs and wailed aloud in anguish and confusion. Both my crush and my gloomy feelings were finding expression, one part in longing for Clay as he would come hold me and the other part just plain confused... oh this was bad!!! I could hear the lady pleading "whats wrong, what happened" along with Clay's beautiful voice. I only held out my hand and she held it while I continued crying. It felt nice to feel that human touch when she had held my hand. I told her I felt like I was going to push my way out into the crowd to get to the stage. - Now this was not true. Though I did want to be at the foot of that stage where Clay was, there was no way in the world I would have pulled THAT! I made it up when I told her that I came upstairs because I felt that I might do that, because I did not really know what to say. I looked up to see Clay's beautiful face on the monitor and my wailing intensified as I started to shake. "Do you want to go outside?" I heard her ask but I could not answer. "Wait right here...." I thought I heard her say.

Naturally, she had to go get the perimedic. My stormy emotions had subsided by the time the lady got back with the perimedic. I told the him I thought I may have had a panic attack (I've had those before) but I was okay. He asked if I had been drinking, if I felt faint or sick. I did not understand what he meant by "look, if you're denying being sick I'll have to let you go" was I going to get put out? Well anyway I assured him I was not sick but that I think I just had a panic attack or got a little claustiphobic but that I felt better. Just as the perimedic was leaving, Clay started into "When I Need You", a hit from 1976 by Leo Sayer. "Ooooh, my mother loves this song!!" I told the lady. She asked if I was going to be alright and if I can go back to my seat and I said I would be. I then confided to her: "I'm in love with Clay." and she was all "Oh that's so sweet", she was understanding and compassionate. Oh boy, here I was a grown-ass man (to quote Justin Timberlake) nearly forty with a beard telling her I'm in love with Clay Aiken like some young teenaged girl might have done and she was nice about it not once saying something condenscending or that I should be liking a girl - I have rehashed this memory imagining her saying something like, "Oh dear, you should be liking Kelly Clarkson! Wait until she comes on, you'll love her!". "Are you going to be okay" she asked again, "Yes, I just could not help it when I saw Clay on that runway with all those people, I wanted to be able to give him a teddy bear..." "It just drove you crazy, huh?" I have to concur with THAT! "Well just don't head down there if you start feeling like that again," she warned gently. "Oh I won't, I would not want to, that's why I came up here" "You did great" "Can you walk down with me?" "Will you be alright if you go by yourself" "Yeah". In retrospect, these lyrics come to mind "the sinner and the saint fight the battle within" I felt "lighter" as I made my way back down to my seat. For all it's worth, it was a good cry. Speaking of "Cry", Clay started into "When Doves Cry" just as I was returning to my seat. Clay Aiken doing Prince? Whoa!!!!

I pretty much missed the Acoustic set: Measure Of A Man? Fields Of Gold? When I Need You - I heard this and told the lady that my mother loves this song. It is originally a 1976 hit by Leo Sayer. Carolina In My Mind?
I felt "lighter" as I made my way back down to my seat. For all it's worth, it was a good cry. Speaking of "Cry", Clay started into "When Doves Cry"! I was returning to my seat as this was begining, I did not notice what was going on until the song kicked into full gear. "Dig if you will the picture, of you and I engaged in a kiss" When Doves Cry? Clay Aiken doing Prince? Is this legal?

Just to give you an idea how disorienting this experience was, I could not even remember the style in which When Doves Cry was performed. Was it done fast? slow (like Ginuwine had done it when he covered it)? In the same style Prince had done it? I cannot even remember what I was feeling or thinking. I know at some point I pondered what the paremedic had said "if you're denying being sick I'll have to let you go". I was a little put off at the thought of being put out over something that was not a threat to anybody's safety.

It would not be until I finally got to watch the video clips for the Denver concert that I would get to hear how Clay had performed the song. I really love his ballad-style intro using the song's chorus:

"How could you leave me standing alone in a world so cold/Maybe I'm just too demanding/Maybe I'm just like my father, too bold/Maybe I'm just like my mother, she's never satisfied/Why do we screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem at each other? This is what it sounds like.....When Doves Cry"

(I have since sung this song for Karaoke, singing Clay's intro acappella and then signal the Karaoke dj start the music track.)

From that intro he busted into a full scale pop-style rendition for the song that sounded fitting for him doing it. I had imagined him doing it in the same style as Prince, with heavy percussion, no bassline and a bare-bones beginning verse and building up in music as the song progressed. It probally would have sounded good that way too, but this was a good rendering for his caliber. This song is probally the raciest Clay gets. Will it garner him some controversy? "Controversy". Wow, another Prince hit!
The Way: "This song is about how when you love someone you can't find a way to tell them, this song is about "our relationship", a lot has happened to me and for me over the last year thanks to the greatest fans in the country. I can never ever find the words to let you know how much I appreciate that - hopefully you can feel it in The Way" This was the last song. If there was an encore, I cannot remember it. The "Cellcerts" have this song as the last. Maybe WDC was the "last song" and The Way was the encore song. Not sure.

Now Kelly Clarkson was great to. In a way, her music is better than Clay's (Nobody go gettin' pissed, please!)because it has attitude and fells into the pop genre more than Clay's music. She is more a Pop single while Clay is more a Vocalist. Still Clay looks better! Kelly had the stage set up like it was a living room, with floral print rugs because she performed barefooted. Someone had a sign with "shoes" behind a circle with a slash through it as to say "No shoes allowed". One thing I really liked about Kelly's show was when, during one of her songs, she had pictures of family and friends flashing across the monitors. That was one of the sweetest things I've seen at a concert! As if it was one big living room party and WE were all invited. Aside from doing songs from her cd, she did a kick-butt rendition of a song by Reba McEntire.

Of course she did Low and Miss Independent and ended her show doing A Moment Like This... The Encore song was Open Arms and though I was told earlier that day that Clay comes out again and sings with Kelly and I had a feeling that this was the song - since he sang it earlier, chills thundered through me and my esctacy went off the charts when I heard his voice break in as she hit the chorus. Immediately after I heard his voice start in, I saw him coming out from the back of my side of the stage. The two wrapped up the show doing a duet.
All in all this was $45.00 well spent. In a way, it was better than Britney's concert not necessarily in the sensation, but in the intimacy of the show. Both Kelly and Clay made the audience an interactive part of the show and trully turned that night into a party! Also, there was great performing without all the raciness. Trully, mothers were not running out of the arena with their little girls in tow as they were at the Britney show.

Now for a confession. I keep getting Kelly Clarkson mixed up with Jesscia Simpson. First of all when I was checking out all the merchandise I saw a Kelly button for $5.00 and thought to my self "I have already have one at home". No, I have a Jessica Simpson button at home! All the while she was singing, even while the pictures were flashing across the monitor screen, I was thinking this was Jessica Simpson until she came out with A Moment Like This. And still even today, I get those two mixed up!