OK, I just recently read and excerpt from the July 10, 2003 issue of Rolling Stone about Clay Aiken called "New Kid On The Block" (Boy, am I late jumpin' on the Clay Aiken Bandwagon!), and this is what stuck out: There was the unfortunate fact that Clay's original dad was an alcoholic and was violent. So, Clay and his mother had to keep playing musical residences, basically, moving back and forth to avoid him. Finally, and here is the real part that I can relate to: clay said that he changed his last name to Aiken and that he had requested that his original father not be referred to as such, and refers to him as Vernon or "My sperm donor"
I can so relate to that. I have also considered my father as a stranger or and outsider. I have considered changing all of my names completely (How does Jonathan Aiken Spears sound? - Ha Ha!). As I said earlier, my dad was abusive. When I was about 3, he shook me. You can read more in My Dark Days. I had actually wished that I had died from Shaken Baby Syndrome so he would have had to live with it for the rest of his life....and so I would not have had to be responsible for my sins because I had yet known better. I could have been like JonBenét. I had envied my nephew who had died when she was less than a year old.
Well now, that has all fallen by the wayside.
My prayer request for Clay is that if he still has a "Ball and Chain" issue with his original father, that God would help him resolve it and that it could fall by the wayside in his life like the issues I've talked about have. I know how being angry at my father hurt and made me feel weighed down and I can relate to Clay's issue and how he refers to his original dad as his "sperm donor".
As for my "forgetting" how to be bitter and hateful whenever my memories came parading down my way. I have an idea for a spiritual song. I already have a name; Blessid Forgetfulness and I will put it here on my site when it is ready.
What would really be wonderful, is if Clay could sing it. I heard his doing of Steven Curtis Chapman's I Will Be Here for his demo cd and it was on an internet site. It was beautiful. I listened to it at work on the office's computer and I was just standing there mesmerized nearly in tears. I was imagining him singing it to me.
Tomorrow morning if you wake up and the sun does not apear
I will be here.....
Later, Tifany the shift lead chidingly complained "Well you were in the back dreaming about Clay!" when I said that we were behind on our closing duties (oh yeah, just blame everything on me).
It is one of my all-time favorites from Chapman, from his More To This Life cd and now Clay did it. Talk about a double whammy!
All I hope is that Clay does not carry a ball and chain in his feelings toward his "sperm donor". If so, my prayer is that it can be taken away so he can experience this Blessid Forgetfullness.